Bad Sex Stories

Bad Sex Stories

    | May 03, 2019
EarthQueen   Woman 48yrs
Do tell! Can be anything or anyone as long as it’s not identifying.

- Posted from rhpmobile
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FatFunFiesty   Woman 39yrs

Im only sharing one but there's been many 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
Went on a "date" .... was great, we enjoyed each others company. I was VERY attracted and so was he apparently, we walked to where we'd both parked when I said "This is me" and he pushed me against the car, which meant I not only had the pleasure of feeling his (rather large) hardon BUT his (rather large) tongue licking me all over my lips......chin..... neck..... ears..... cheeks...... right up to my eyes!!!! 😳😳. At this point I thought it was a joke...... didn't go down too well when he didn't see the problem with his kissing👅👅
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luvu2

Do you really want to know??????
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OkeyDoke45   Man 49yrs

Knowing me, knowing you...

There are two ''worst sex encounters'' with me.

My first time naked with another woman, and I was a nervous fumbling fool. She was patient, but when I went to enter her she was dry as a chip. I knew this wasn't what it was meant to be so just stopped. I don't actually count this as losing my virginity, I was that bad.

The second worst was one I have discussed here in the forums a couple of times. It happened only a few years ago. I had been actively pursued one night by a woman and we ended up back at hers. We undressed each other, but that was the only time she did anything at all, she just lay there (in an exact personification of the term ''starfish'') whilst I did everything. It was a struggle to keep excited about this. She didn't even make any noises of appreciation, all I could hear was her breathing. She got wet so it was apparent that what I was doing was pleasing in some way, but aside from that you really couldn't tell. I stopped at one stage during (what you could barely describe as) foreplay to ''check in'' and ask if she was okay, to which she replied that she was and that she was ''just a prude'' when it came to sex. This jarred with her earlier enthusiastic pursuit of me, which wasn't very prudish at all. I really should have just called time on it, dressed and left. I kept going however, and I feel a tad seedy to this day for having done so. Weeks later I saw her out again and she tried to hit on me again, even suggesting that we should become fuck buddies. The whole thing was very weird and confusing.

Aside from both being and receiving a ''dud root'', I haven't had any particularly nasty encounters. I look forward to reading some hair-curling responses from others here.
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KalaToyBoy

Well it isn’t so much the sex that was bad in this particular instance. I met up with this couple at a hotel room, the lady and I played, I even made her orgasm. For a young fella like me, that really put me through the roof. Then I leave, fist pumping as you would after an experience like that. Then I text them again, asking if they’d like to play again. Then the fella started accusing me of being ignorant, not listening to the lady and being immature. Immature? I even helped pay for the hotel room, and it’s a pretty ritzy place as well. Anyway, rant over, had to get that one off my chest.
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EarthQueen   Woman 48yrs

Bulldogs

May have mentioned this in the past but he bought his two bulldogs in the bedroom and every time I looked up they were staring at me. It was unnerving and creepy.

Also he talked up how great he was in bed only to have about 1 minute of foreplay and sex lasted about the same (but that was a blessing). I should have ran but envisioned a scene like Ramsey and his dogs (if you watch Game Of Thrones you will get it, release the hounds and all that) Also his penis looked like a slug.

The whole thing was terrible.
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EarthQueen   Woman 48yrs

By bad I also mean funny.

Not just gross, weird etc .

FFF why do people kiss like that ?
How do they get to that age and someone hasn’t told them yet that they are not a dog. I’m glad you set him straight he he . Shame though, bad kiss is a definite dealbreaker.

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summersolstice   Couple Man 34yrs Woman 33yrs

My ex had one really low hanging ball. It obviously wasn't a deal breaker given we stayed together for a few years. But it did make 69 with me on the bottom somewhat distracting. Hehe.

Ms
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GetMePlease

I think we may have all kissed someone that has used their tongue to tickle our tonsils and, in doing so, activate our gag-reflex.
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The_Antichrist   Man 40yrs

I smacked myself in the balls once...

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Qefenta4   Woman 100yrs

Unfortunately

I have a list.

The man who threw me around the bed like I was a piece of dough.

The man who phoned a friend in the middle of our "encounter".

The man who told me he was only with me to make his wife jealous.

The man who was hairier than Chewbacca.

The man who turned up for our date covered in bitumen.

Hugs Q
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SSExplorer   Couple Man 45yrs Woman 33yrs

Long, long ago in a place not too far, far away I used to meet up with a good friend of my then recent ex for a midweek dinner at a small cafe that had an excellent Jazz guitarist playing. We would share a cheap bottle of red wine or two and have a wonderful time. My place was closest so she would come back after and crash with me on my luxurious single mattress on the floor. This went on for months and we’d always just cuddle up drunk and nothing ever happened nor was there any tension for it to.
One evening she jokingly pointed out that we had never thought to have sex, well of course now the seed was planted and the sexual tension was so thick but true to form we stayed for the music and left quite drunk. Once in bed we fucked like animals then fell asleep in a sweaty mess.
We awoke the next morning, looked at each other and both broke out laughing and professing it was the worst sex we had ever had. We continued our weekly meets but never had sex again!
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OkeyDoke45   Man 49yrs

The green-eyed monster...




Quoting 'KalaToyBoy'

Well it isn’t so much the sex that was bad in this particular instance. I met up with this couple at a hotel room, the lady and I played, I even made her orgasm. For a young fella like me, that really put me through the roof. Then I leave, fist pumping as you would after an experience like that. Then I text them again, asking if they’d like to play again. Then the fella started accusing me of being ignorant, not listening to the lady and being immature. Immature? I even helped pay for the hotel room, and it’s a pretty ritzy place as well. Anyway, rant over, had to get that one off my chest.
I think you made the male feel insecure and jealous, by the sounds.
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The_Antichrist   Man 40yrs

Lol Q...

I did try waxing but it hurt lots...made me go arrrrrrggggg 😂😂😂
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Qefenta4   Woman 100yrs

Ah Chewy

Sorry about that.

Hugs Q :)
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ce_la_vie

Why does this thread make me think of the good the bad and the ugly..(not talking about appearances).

The good experiences are amazing.

The not so good.

Well organised to meet a gorgeous woman.
Then she wanted to involve her new Fwb guy. So I ensured her fwb my interest was her and not him. He could accompany her but to only watch.

Of course I should have realised that really wouldn't happen.

The guy interferred each time I was about to bring her to orgasim. So I pretty much gave up and should have ended the play right then and there.

However there was a point where she wanted to watch him with me. Her reality was very different to her fantasy. Letting me know how upsetting it made her feel.

So at that point I asked them both to leave and in no uncertain terms to get their shit together before they played with others again.

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0z_boy   Man 59yrs

haha

I was once with woman who kissed so badly that I had to flee the scene midway through the encounter.
The lights were off but the visuals in my mind were very clear, the visions of a salivating St Bernard slobbering over my face were hard to ignore.
At one point I feared my eyeballs would be sucked out through my nose.



🏃 💨💨💨💨

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OkeyDoke45   Man 49yrs

A bit of a smudging...

All this talk of bad kissing reminds me of the time I thought a woman was leaning in to kiss me, so I leaned in too. She realized I thought she wanted to kiss me so turned her head down a bit and I kissed one of her glasses lens.


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Phoenix_Rising   Woman 37yrs

Had a starfish once, I nearly stopped to check for a pulse at one point.
Got beaten up once by a self professed don who was actually just a freakin manic.
They’re probably the two worst experiences, then there’s the long & somewhat funny list of hits & misses when it comes to bad insertions and of course the one time someone let go of a sneaky fart while I was giving head, that I’ll never forget 😠😂
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boobs_or_busted   Couple Man 53yrs Woman 44yrs

yup it was going so well until i heard the words harder that feel good ,then it went so badly wrong 😓😂🙄
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boobs_or_busted   Couple Man 53yrs Woman 44yrs

also have a great bad story involving a broken nose a gumboot ,and my second and last attemp of anything involving marijuana

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