Feeling awfully awkward

Feeling awfully awkward

    | May 20, 2019
bluereggae   Woman 56yrs
Ok So I’m an awkwardly shy person and finally found the courage to go to wet on Wellington the other night on my own, it took me an hour and a half to get there, and felt like a total fish out of water
Not one person, not one said hello to me or even looked at me, am I missing something or just not worth talking too ??

- Posted from rhpmobile
May 21, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Gaz072017   Man 38yrs

I know the feeling. I’m the same when going out or trying to socialise.. I think it’s easy when you have a company but it’s hard when you alone.. some people might find it easy but some not... nothing wrong with you, your beautiful in and out..
I was very shy when I went to Saints first time.. never been to WOW.. but heard it’s fun..
what’s ur thoughts on after? Do you feel like going again ??
May 21, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
AnnieWhichway   TV/CD 55yrs

It's not you

I'm a shy one as well and find it hard to begin a conversation with strangers that may not be totally acceptable of a trans gurl. But nearly always someone will say hello and I'm ok from then on. Never easy for me.

I've read and seen a lot of single women getting the cold shoulder at parties and contributed to the insecurities of the coupled women. Their men won't make the first move for fear of igniting jealous emotions and causing a hiccup in the night's events. So catch 22.

Funny that so many couples complain about the trouble of finding a unicorn that when one strides into a party, the shop front closes down. Of course their needs to be attraction but from your pics l can't see that being any issue.

Don't let that event put you off, the scene is usually generally accepting

May 21, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Freaky_Fun  

Woman 49yrs

Ummm but Gaz didn't you go to Saints with a partner?
May 21, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Sawadee   Man 56yrs

bluereggae..

I checked out your profile and found a lady who really knows how to be sexy ... The only thing missing was a nice big smile.. Smiling opens dialog and doors.. Not a criticism, just a observation... 😊
May 21, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
countrytouch82  

Man 37yrs

...

I haven't been to this event, only those I can attend as a single, but just from various anecdotal writings, it can appear that many people attend events with the intention of only engaging with the very specific type of person or persons they are looking for and/or attracted to, and no one else. Which I guess might be seen as a purely practical way of doing things from their perspective, after all why should they bother talking (wasting their time perhaps) with anyone that doesn't match their own personal interests for something further? Where as at other events especially meet and greets, I (and many others) will go around trying to talk to anyone and everyone... women, couples, other single men, trans, young, old etc etc as having conversations is a worthy outcome in itself (especially as they are non-play events). And unlike meet and greets, or even house parties etc, this type of club event means there are no "hosts" or regular socialites who do try to make everyone feel welcome. If you are shy or nervous, combined with perhaps not being on anybody's "type requirements", then you can find yourself all alone.

Having said all that, of the play events I have been to, I have been to the same event on different nights, and found the general vibe vastly different. Sometimes it can simply not be your night; it's a shame as it was your first time, sometimes one might have such a bad night with no conversation on their 4th or 5th night. I wouldn't give up, perhaps look to some of the smaller more intimate gatherings with known hosts, or put the feelers out for someone else to go with so at least you have some companionship there.
May 21, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
noeleena   Woman 72yrs

Being ignored by men

Hi,

no one talks with you they just walk past like you don't exist not welcoming cant even say Hi let alone see you, and your a bit younger than I , try that and been at 13 different meetup,s the only ones I talked with a few were women and I made sure I talked to the Host,s and staff and other,s that were not part of those going to the meets to have a good time doing what ever,

Yes I know what its like my age is one reason the men did not have any interest in me way out side their age group ,not sexy enough and just did not meet their idear of a sexy hot chic, and your right I know what its like I,m not worth the time of day or night for that matter,

I quess for some of us we don't meet their extreme criteria and we don't fit in, for myself is just a fact of life,

and as I have found out over the last 3 years men at dance groups a few are just the same and ...wont... dance with me I can dance though I wont say I,m a pro at it so that's it really. don't for get men take 3 sec,s to look at you or myself and block you out . and strange as is try being in front of 300 men , we are not missing any thing,

my thinking is if we are not worth their time then why would we even wont to spend time with them I wont and don't care about them, they don't get a 2 nd chance

...noeleena...
May 21, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
The_Envoy   Man 56yrs

Wet on Wellington

Is a large venue. It is not an intimate one where you rub shoulders with all and hellos just occur.

It suits couples in cliques groups that know each other. It's far too big for the amount of people that go there on the Monday night.

Saints and Sinners is a large venue but it is filled and you can't help but engage with others.

I'd recommend another attempt at a better venue.

Hidden Heaven meet and greet playnight would suit you far better. A little further but a perfect fun venue
May 22, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Gaz072017   Man 38yrs

@freaky , yes I went with a friend.. we didn’t play together.. it was my first time and she’s been there few times..
May 22, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
countrytouch82  

Man 37yrs

...

Noeleena



I do empathise and understand your frustrations.



At this event though the OP mentioned (Wow) there were no single men, so she was ignored by women and couples and there were no hosts. There used to be a system that would let a few single men in at $350 each on the swingers nights, but I'm not sure if this is still the case, not that it would have made much of a difference.



As above it could be just a place where people that already know each other hang out and not to talk to anyone new or out of their interest range. Some people have the opposite problem and get hassled too much, in which case this event might be a place where they can just relax and be left largely alone, especially by men, and enjoy the facilities such as the pool etc which I think are quite nice at this venue.
May 22, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
noeleena   Woman 72yrs

learning and expections

Hi,

Thankyou countrytouch,

I was on our Kiwi forum for 4 years, and used to have a read of the profiles and many had a long list of what they were in to , when you get to know me as a person youd soon see how I reacted to those ,,,was ...oh wow you have to be joking ….as I had almost nothing on mine as there was nothing I had experance in , so I felt right,,, okay then ,

so contact I did have with a good few people I told then the reason , now at some of the meetups I tried to quess who they were from the info I had and so many said and plus their partners would welcome a unicorn such as myself well the response was sure not meeting up to their profiles for myself and as said a closed shop approach was the order of the meet,s and even a few single males were invited yet I could not get over the brick wall they had put around them selfs I tried and really failed,

I,m a PR person taken meetings and talked to many 1000,s of people and many I did not know , yet could not at the swinger meetup,s so I looked at my approach in how I address people and talk with them ,so I quessed was just not my playing field ,

The comment of couples and couples knowing each other and clickyness comes to mind ,bottom line comes down to I,m out of place, and is not a playing field I can be part of , I blame my self for that, any way I gave it a go,

...noeleena...
May 22, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
LowkeyLoki   Man 41yrs

Just sounds like...

IT wasn't the right event for you, nothing wrong with you per se. Shyness is a tricky beast. I seem ridiculously confident when Im performing music or once I get to know someone, but are terribly awkward at parties and can barely survive train stations of supermarkets. Just keep looking around for something or someone who suits you Id guess
May 22, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
SHarry   Man 30yrs

..

yeah. Wet is a large place and I have had mixed times over there myself as being a newbie. Was it busy though.
May 24, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Tom_Vale   Man 31yrs

I would have said Hello to you Blue Reggae...

NOW LETS FUCK XXX
May 24, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
bluereggae   Woman 56yrs

Thanks peeps, appreciate your thoughts and input, and as for you Tom_Vale just say when 😉
May 24, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Gaz072017   Man 38yrs

@blueregs How about Tonight?? Lol
May 25, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Napoleon300

Wet on wellie

Not a bad venue to visit and enjoy just hanging out...

The nights they run for mixed would be interesting...but guess going on your own does take some courage.

Don’t worry blue...it’s not that you are not a very sexy looking woman and I suspect a fabulous fuck..just maybe the wrong venue at the wrong time. I suspect you may overawe some people and so they just avoided contact.

Next time you think about a Melbourne visit..let me know...love to escort you wherever

Jun 08, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
bwt0482   Man 37yrs

After looking at your profile, I will definitely say there is nothing wrong with you at all in my eyes..... I very much liked what I saw 🙂 and that also we both are from the same area (Ocean Grove)!! ..... Maybe perhaps you'd like to get together and further discuss it more personally, then forget about the whole thing by having a mind-blowing fuck session together (if you're keen on having one of course) ;-)

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