Friends & favorites

Friends & favorites

    | May 13, 2019
Bathtime17
Should you judge a profile/couple/single/group by the people on their friends list ?



What your opinion of a friend on someone’s friends list (a profile you’ve been chatting with & just about to meet up) contacting you asking what you think of that profile & then going on to a multitude of ‘hard sell’ messages from how much they love the person ??? how great they are & they organize 8somes



Help please
May 13, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Qefenta4   Woman 100yrs

I am confused

Are you chatting to someone and also someone on their friends list?

I assume you don't feel comfortable with what the "friend" is saying and that is now colouring your view of the original person.

There are no rules here just go with your gut but if I were you I would cease contact with the "friend".

It sounds a bit complicated but the original person may have no idea about what the friend is saying to you so ask them.

Hugs Q
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Eiliethiya  

Woman 41yrs

I have

judged men on the women in their friends list. I've looked and there have been some very full on (and yes, trashy/slutty) profiles. That's not me, so I usually politely reply that I'm not what they're looking for.

As for being contacted by someone because of who is on my friends list...that's never happened to me before 🤷‍♀️

May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Bathtime17

I am confused

Qefenta4

The friend of who I was chatting with contacted me via kik
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Bathtime17

I have

Eiliethiya I was shocked by the contact. It’s fatal attraction type of stuff. The female from the couple (who contacted me) raved on like she was his pr manager. She told me she ‘loves’ him; and her & her husband have known him for years, played together on many occasions & he’s organized 8-domes for them

The tells told me I was a psycho & up tight for questioning her reasons for the contact.

If this is what his friends are like (she’s the psycho one)

I’m wondering if he might be the same & should I just let things go & not bother with him
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Phoenix_Rising   Woman 37yrs

I too judge a profile based on the look & quantity of friends and will excuse myself very quickly from the conversation if I don’t like what I see. I make no apologies for being judgemental in this respect, I actually think it’s aye ok, why waste time if you can see straight off the bat that you’re not going to appreciate that person the way they want to be appreciated.

As for their friend who’s contacted you, I’d be brining all that right out in the open. Deception will end in tears every time, regardless of who is being deceptive or why.
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
The_Antichrist   Man 40yrs

Personally I think person A that contacts you about person B that is on your friends list is entitled to do so....

But...

If I were you I’d be choosing to not reply...as I dislike gossipers....
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
luvu2

Aren’t you all gossipers here?????
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EarthQueen   Woman 48yrs

He should

Just sell himself. That’s weird.
Pimp my ride 😂
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Bathtime17

Friends and favourites

Phoenix_Rising





I did just that, I told the guy I was chatting with that his friend contacted me. He was shocked & unsure of her motives. I took screenshots of hers & my conversations (her abusing & name calling to be honest) again he was shocked and apologetic. She’s now blocked me from her profile. Which is fucking childish.


If she valued her friendship with the male; she should 1. Act her age 2. Unblock me 3. Apologize for what she’s done


I’m not holding my breath, just laying in the bath
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Bathtime17

Friends and favorites

luvu2 it’s not gossip at all

I’m asking for other help and opinions

There’s nothing wrong with that

If you think I’m gossiping about the lady that contacted me. I’m not

If she hadn’t acted like a petulant child & blocked my.

I would have gladly tagged her profile
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
MsJonesy   Woman 53yrs

Okay OP

Have I got this right...

The hard sell messages from Chick A (who is partnered with Bloke A) were all about how fabulous Bloke B was, and how much she loved him, and how long she & Bloke A have been playing with him.



And she contacted you via kik? How did she get your kik address?



I would politely and firmly back away from Bloke B. He might be alright, but he has a loose cannon friend in this Chick A, who may well continue to cause issues for you. Absolutely no need to have shite in your life. I learnt a lesson in this lifestyle long ago (and it also applies in normal life); if someone behaves in a manner you don't like, or their actions are questionable, or their friends are questionable, gently shut the door and move on. There are 7.7 billion people on this planet, I certainly can find new lovers, new friends etc etc who don't bring drama or concern to my front door.
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
SuperFoxxxy  

Woman 47yrs

don’t want to offend anyone or you OP,

but I have to admit I get really tired of hearing about personal dramas in the forums and what people did and didn’t do. At the end of the day it does not really matter. It is unsettling crap. Our focus should not be on all of this messy stuff. It is healthier to put energy and time best spent on the right people for ourselves. Wouldn’t that be a priority? Besides we’re just sitting here saying negative things like who gossips and who doesn't and about a messy situation in this space, where we’re supposed to be preparing something really positive like meeting amazing people, going to meet and greets etc.

Ms Foxy
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
countrytouch82  

Man 37yrs

Foxxxy I'm sure the OP was doing her best to try to meet amazing people, and/or just one. Frankly we all are. Unfortunately such a journey is often full of hurdles and problems not always overcome on our own. Yes it would be lovely for everyone to have the opportunities they wish and to meet the people they wish. Meet and greets and such are actually quite rare all things considered, for each state. And yes it can seem like the forums are sometimes about problems and worries and bad experiences and it can be sometimes saddening to hear about them; on the other hand writing about good experiences can seem like boasting a little to some others. For myself I see the forums as mainly a form of education and or help when needed.
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Bathtime17

Friends favorites



SuperFoxxxy



Not gossiping at all


Just a newbie asking for advice
May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Bathtime17

Friends favorites

MsJonesy



You nearly got it. She is the female half of a married couple & has played (I’m presuming with her husband) with the male I’ve been chatting with, for a few years & quite often

I won’t mention on a public forum where she got my kik addy

Loose cannon, that’s an understatement. I’m still confused about her contacting me, the tone & aggressiveness of her messages.

May 14, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
XantheaHunter  

Couple Man 45yrs Woman 45yrs

We have met everyone on our friends list but certainly have not played with them all. I would be concerned if someone contacted us to encourage us to meet someone else. It sounds weird.
May 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Seachange   Woman 46yrs

OP

The swinging world is full of Amazon people as well as those of dubious character. Certainly if you are new, the path can be daunting to say the least. Navigating through people whom may not be who they are, or have partners when they say they are single or just NQR. Really not different from real life but because we operate in a more: secretive' world, for lack of a better term, we don't understand or know the norms.

So it's okay to post questions in the forum to gain knowledge based on experiences from people in the know. That is what the forums are for. To educate and give other people sounding board. Is there gossip in here? . Of course. But mostly dullyor people willing to help.

We're aduy so people can choose to read, respond to topics that interest and resonate to them. If not, why spend their positive energy to negatively respond to poostayans topics that hold no value to them? So post at will. Swinging is meant to be an open environment that embraces alternative views and lifestyle. Is it not?

In topic. Definitely weird behaviour but more revealing of a controlling behaviour. Spitting the dummy at you for not engaging with her request is not on. Everything should be consensual. That is the premise of a trusting and fun meeting of minds and body. But just be careful as we single women are in a more vulnerable position in the swinging world.
May 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Seachange   Woman 46yrs

Typo

Amazing not Amazon. 😏
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Seachange   Woman 46yrs

FFS

'Posts and' not poostayans.

Where did that come from? 😄
May 15, 2019 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
SuperFoxxxy  

Woman 47yrs

Bathtime

It may not be gossiping as such but you haven't even met this woman and it obviously has upset you. However to belittle this lady who contacted you over several posts by stating "she is the pyshio one", "If she hadn’t acted like a petulant child" and wanting her to 1. Act her age 2. Unblock you 3. want an apology and state you took screenshots of the conversations and showed him. You also state she’s blocked you from her profile. Then state "which is fucking childish." She blocked you for a reason. She doesn't want contact and she does not have to apologize if she does not want too. It is now time to move on.

RHP and the swinging world can at times be incestuous and your scenerno happens quite often. My advice is if it happens again, do not get caught up in it or get dragged into conversations or personal dramas like that, because it only brings our the worst.

Ms Foxy











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