Gentleman and Chivalry

Gentleman and Chivalry

    | Mar 12, 2020
kirt3484   Man 36yrs
I have often found that being chivalrous to a lady is non exhistant or sometimes taken as a sexist remark.
I myself am old school and chivalry is a part of who I am. I.e. opening a door of a building or a car, pulling back a chair and even making her dinner or drink before yours.
To me, my lady comes first in every way and yes most definitely in the bedroom. But that’s another subject.

What are others thoughts on the subject ? Do people still like a gentleman and is it still desired in a man ?

- Posted from rhpmobile
Mar 12, 2020 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
86Jasindy   Couple Man 34yrs Woman 39yrs

You are definetely few and far between!

Mr jasindy is an absolute gentleman and will always open doors, pull chairs out etc. even 4 years into a relationship. He will not use inappropriate language around ladies, ever and also never speak ill of others, always removes his hat indoors despite having a receding hair line he is sensitive about (but I believe adds to his sexiness ❤)

When dating he had a mixed response, some women love it, others are very suspicious. But this doesn't change his principals.

In saying that, dating often men will put on a show while trying to impress, but a few months in it always disappears.

Keep doing what you are doing, the world needs more old school gentlemen. If you come across someone that doesn't think it is right, maybe they are not for you?
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Dragon_Phoenix

I don’t care if others look for chivalry in others...I act the way I do because it’s me...it’s part of my makeup..other than rouge and eye liner lol

Mr dragon
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Mischeviouslad   Man 48yrs

Chivalry? Or signalling and symbolism

Im sure there will be some interesting responses to this.





Some call it chivalry.... I dont.





I call it empathy.... and to me that isn't gender specific.


Why would I think opening a car door for a woman will be “chivalrous”, if I then don't consider being courteous towards a man by opening it for him as well?





To me that is illogical, and suggests chivalry has an ulterior motive or at the very least it expects recognition.


And if you have expectations of reward for being courteous.... you have an agenda beyond being courteous!





So I believe its practice to just be thoughtful..... towards everyone.


Some get it. Some dont.
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Mrs_Deep_Love   Woman 39yrs

Absolutely

I am a strong feminist and love chivalry or gentlemanly behavior. In 21 years I don't think I have ever carried a shopping bag. Mr Deep_love insists, and now our 12 yr old son also insists on carrying my bags .


I work in a male dominated industry as a supervisor of men and would never take the act of opening a door for me at work as sexist. That's pure stupidity. I always say thank you.

At the end of the day men are the physically stronger sex and should be there to be the protectors and supporters of the women in their life.

Just my 2 cents.


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newyboy70   Couple Man 50yrs Woman 50yrs

YES

My wife selected a guy, even though he did not meet all of our criteria, purely on the language he used in our written communication (which got him a foot in the door) and then upon meeting, the way he conducted himself.


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MrKentia   Man 36yrs

I hope chivalry and being a gentleman will disappear and be replaced by being civil.
With chivalry and being a gentleman, it's all about gender about a relation of power, implicit of course. There's an history to it. You protect the weak lady who can't stand by herself, you treat her like a princess, you stand strongly if an issue arise between her and a stranger, ready to give up any reasoning. The extent of that is it's restrict their liberty and add a concept of ownership of the women.
It's really an aged concept and behaviour.

Being civil is way different, it's all about being attentive without being a nanny. Yes, women can open doors, take a seat, and stand their ground with others if needed. It doesn't mean that you can't hold a door to them, it means that when you do it, you do it in reaction of a context (you're the one opening the door), not because of their gender and a supposedly mission you have to serve your lady.

I guess it can irritate to read this post if you truly believe in chivalry and you can't see the underlying concepts and mechanism of the patriarchy I'm mentioning. However, don't take it personally, I'm not attacking anyone. I hope this disclaimer will be read :)
Mar 13, 2020 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
beltfedwombat   Man 45yrs

Tend to disagree... being a gentleman is about showing and behaving in a polite and considerate manner... it has everything to do with treating others with the respect and civility we are all due... a challenge I fear is that chivalry, (the rules of knightly conduct on the battlefield), has become intertwined with what is at the core of behaving in a gentlemanly manner... and the distinction lost
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Libertine001   Man 41yrs

I tend to agree with Mr Kentia.
In the age of gender equality I dont believe that being chivalrous is to be performed by one gender.
Being a Gentleman is common courtesy and is more down to the fact that you treat other how you wish to be treated.
Regardless of gender if someone opened a door for me than I would be grateful but it's not something I couldnt do myself.
Interesting topic op.

Libertine
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Kokoflamingo  

Woman 56yrs

Be thoughtful




Towards each other. I love having doors opened for me, someone pouring me a drink or making me dinner, a guy stopping to let me cross the road.....but I also like to do the same for other people. Chivalry is almost dead in the water, but there are still plenty of gentlemen out there.
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Mrs_Deep_Love   Woman 39yrs

Response




Quoting 'MrKentia'

With chivalry and being a gentleman, it's all about gender about a relation of power, implicit of course. There's an history to it. You protect the weak lady who can't stand by herself, you treat her like a princess, you stand strongly if an issue arise between her and a stranger, ready to give up any reasoning. The extent of that is it's restrict their liberty and add a concept of ownership of the women.

It's really an aged concept and behaviour.

Well yes those are it's historical origins. Good men, gentlemen have not carried these concepts into the modern day.
I have no problem with being treated like a queen.
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Mrs_Deep_Love   Woman 39yrs

I agree, great topic




Quoting 'Libertine001'

In the age of gender equality I dont believe that being chivalrous is to be performed by one gender.

Being a Gentleman is common courtesy and is more down to the fact that you treat other how you wish to be treated.

Gender equality is ridiculous. It's like comparing apples to oranges. Equal access to opportunity is a better concept.
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MrKentia   Man 36yrs

I have no problem with being treated like a king. I love it when women hold the door for me, pay for my drinks, help me sit at a restaurant.

Good women and gentlewomen know how it is done in a modern way.
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usebi

Chivalry = Doormat

Agree with ML and Libertine.

Behaving as a gentleperson is just being a good person.

Being chivalrous to curry favour is thinking with your cock and when you do that you will inevitably be treated with contempt and possibly ruthlessly exploited, and deservedly so.
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Azdaja   Woman 42yrs

Common courtesy over chivalry any day

I also believe that things like opening doors should be done by and for all genders, as common courtesy. I'm certainly not going to get angry at a guy if he holds a door open for me, but the type of guy I admire would be doing that for other men as well.

If I was in a relationship, I would want it to be one in which we both show appreciation for and do nice things for each other. I would not want to be treated like some delicate flower or constantly pandered to. I would find that patronising and suffocating. Men may be physically stronger but I am perfectly capable of doing the majority of tasks I need to do on my own, and if I need assistance then I would ask for it. Also, physical strength is only one factor in how good of a support someone is. I would argue that emotional and mental factors, and communication ability are just as important and often more important in some contexts.

I also find the whole notion of not swearing around women rather odd. There are men who don't like swearing, and there are women who swear like troopers. Again, why not be considerate and respectful of people regardless of their gender, instead of assuming that all women are fragile things whose heads will explode if they hear the 'f' word



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Getmeplease

My antipathy for the word chivalry now on the forums for infinity...
Your proclivity for chivalry makes me jittery.
My imagery of chivalry serves to belittle me.
Will you agree, unequivocally, that chivalry causes rivalry?
Apology, but whomsoever uses chivalry to tickle me will feel my hostility.
Deliver me progressivity and unity and harmony and,
Lets see chivalry in the dictionary listed archaically as it should be.
He,he,he...😐
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countrytouch82   Man 37yrs

I find it a bit sad now that doing and saying good things can now be expressed through an opinion by others as doing a bad thing, they now called "virtue signalling". Not sure how that works, unless of course you're literally overly boasting about your good deeds, as opposed to showing modesty. I think it's just another way to try and knock people down, even if they haven't done anything wrong. I would say it's fine to do good things that might be seen as chivalrous or positive, and ignore people that see it another way. Otherwise why do anything for anyone else?





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nightingale8   Woman 34yrs

Well put, Mr Kentia.

Chivalry is about taking power over the space. Power is an aphrodisiac for many/most and a part of ‘masculine’ identity (historically). In measured amounts you could argue then that chivalry is foreplay and an expression of masculinity. For that reason I wouldn’t do away with it altogether... it’s part of the courtship dance (cue David Attenborough narration). Of course, just because someone opens a door for me or buys me dinner does not entitle them to me. Big difference.
Mar 17, 2020 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
iambenxxx

Manners make the man....
No excuses...
Mar 20, 2020 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Getmeplease

Iambenxxx

Vice versa too don't you agree?
Mar 27, 2020 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
86Jasindy   Couple Man 34yrs Woman 39yrs

Was just thinking... with the l today's current messed up situation, I'm seeing so much more if what would appear to be gentlemenness, but is actually people ensuring safe distance lol

I just went to 3 different butchers (trying to find chicken for dinner that didn't cost my food budget for the entire week) and in each time the door was held open with said man leaving plenty of room to enter and exit. They each gave a nod as I passed, I'm thinking arm length gloves for the ladies should make a come back in the fashion arena, I know I'd just love playing dress ups before I left the house 🤣

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