Porn, we all watch it.

I always wondered why a lot of the porn made didn't really do it for me. The loud fake screams from ladies, the posturing of men. It's all too scripted, not authentic. For me, I get turned on by connection, attraction, vibe. Hot sensual and in-tune. An analogy I've always liked is - you want someone tuned into the same radio station as you. No static.

I've been thinking about the different porn keywords I type on a regular basis and taking note. Think about it, it really helps to understand where you're at, what makes you tick. Just like an old Spotify playlist, it's interesting how you evolve and move on from things, while others make comebacks. That's the way I've been finding it. The buffet of kinks.

One of the porn fantasies I had was one that remained secret. One that only incognito mode of chrome knew about. My womanizer toy and I had many amazing sessions on the topic. Was it a taboo topic? In vanilla world definitely. But by watching it and watching these woman and men enjoying it, I started an understanding that there's no need to just fantasize, why not do it?

The reality came to play after a conversation with someone I hadn't met before online who asked about any unfulfilled kinks I had. I started thinking about what I've been enjoying watching in Porn. He singled out this fantasy and started probing on the details and what parts of it did I really like. I divulged the elements I like and quickly we were piecing together a scenario.

A big part of this fantasy was that it involved a stranger. He suggested as we haven't 'met', if I wanted, he could assist me in its actualization. I wondered, like with many fantasies, would it be as good in real life? Or is it just the thought? Do I have the courage to do it? I thought about this. It made me call back to the Mark Manson writing of The Law of “Fuck Yes or No”, mixed in with if you can do it safely and with safe words then what's the Opportunity Cost of not doing it? My mind kept going excitedly to the fuck yes.

My stranger and I discussed the scenario, the safe words etc and a time/place, and we locked it in. Leading up to it I brimmed with a mixture of anticipation, excitement, and anxiety. I found I overcame the anxiety by picturing the elements that I was looking forward to. It worked.

The experience went as planned and to our mutual enjoyment. All safe and happy. We discussed after and I was pleasantly surprised to hear that this was also a fantasy of his. I'm even happier to have helped him to have ticked it off! It actually makes me hot thinking right now that he was more turned on as I thought.

It's now the reflection period. The reliving in your head. Picturing the details. The kinky day dreams playing through my head better than any internet porn. We have already discussed what else could be done with this fantasy. It looks like there may be more to cum...