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RHP

RHP User

M40

A Smidgen of Irreverence Pt.2

April 26 2013

I don’t know how I get myself into these… messes. Met up with an international, which was nice. Nicer still, she pursued me. I’ve since come to the conclusion that Canadian women are just, flat out, nicer than the majority of Australian girls could ever hope to be. Even she found the Australian woman to be nasal in accent, demanding in attitude and just flat out bitchy. Now, here’s what I have learned from the endeavor. If you have sex with someone, three times a day, for seven a days a week, and vigorously, you will manifest the symptoms of chlamydia. Two blood tests later, just because I couldn’t believe my luck – and apparently it was a combination of over-use and stress. In short, sex for seven days, three times a day, and vigorously, is very very bad for you. This lady apparently worships the shit out of me and I have no idea why. Apparently I make strange crogmagnon-like noises that she finds endearing. She appreciates that I am witty and charming while at the same time, I can eat a kilo of buffalo wings, and have shit all over my face and apparently not even notice enough to have it bother me. Because I am regimented, and well organized she has given me the rather unflattering sobriquet of Old Man Logan. Of course, I trekked all the way out to the airport to meet her, it was only fair considering she was an international and not just some bored out-of-state housewife. All of things and the research and the stuff was quite exhausting. It’s nice to do touristy things with an international. Leaving spaces in bedside drawers, a cold glass of water waiting in the fridge, these aren’t difficult things to accomplish. We went to plenty of nice restaurants, some the food was great and the service terrible, though I guess that’s the risk you take when you take trip advisor as gospel. Needless to say I’ll never eat at Jimmy’s on the Mall again, though Pie Face is most certainly spectacular – and cheap to boot. A nice hotel, nice restaurants, even sharing the occasional slice of pizza and a can of soda can be a nice touch, as terribly clichéd’ as it sounds. Countless trips to the cinema, and watching DVDs at the apartment, her tastes seemed to mirror my own. Then of course there was all that money we blew in the arcades, my Animal Kaiser addiction notwithstanding – that game is just ridiculous! We strolled The Valley markets, and spent a fair amount of time in the trendy Southbank, did a day at lone pine where I was nearly pissed on by a koala, spent a day at surfers paradise and did all the museums, got lost in west end but found the most darling book shop in Southbank. I think I spent like $300 on books and about $400 on DVDs that week. Then there was that crazy Serbian hat lady who shared my distaste for Muslims to the point where she made my racism look almost moderately conservative by comparison. She told me I should hurry up and marry the girl I was with, and I ended up buying $60 worth of hats from her, for no other reason than the performance was worth every penny. Her husband however was nowhere near as entertaining. The sex was great, until I maxed myself out. All that performance anxiety and stress for nothing. I was perfectly fine to go the extra mile and put in the effort. Not in the least because she seemed to find certain things about me adorable that I had either never noticed before, or had always found disgusting about myself. She thought I was joking when I told her I had nuts the size of golf balls, but the holes in my pants spoke for themselves. And I ask myself, with all of the showering together, and the tender moments, the spooning and the watching of TV shows in the evening with her head squarely in my lap and me fighting back monster-boners, what the hell is the world coming too, when a role that should have been filled by a capable, attractive, intelligent Australian woman years ago, is being filled by a moderate and modest Canadian gal who, went out of her way to pursue me? What does that say about the caliber of the average Australian woman? That said, any other Lady Canadian nationals who are passing through, on vacation or thinking of relocating to Australia, let’s be friends… with benefits!

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    do you really need people to spell it out for you? No Australian girl wants anything to do with you because your personality and attitude are as attractive as a big steaming pile of horse shit. You are self-absorbed, arrogant, a self-proclaimed racist, a borderline misogynist, and a wannabe intellectual who is actually not nearly as smart as you think you are. No woman with a normal amount of intelligence and self respect would waste her time on you. Perhaps you should move to Canada. And stop blaming Australian women for your own shortcomings.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I think I just recently read the women's point of view on another Forum? * skips off to find it, orders some buffalo wings and returns to plonk down on the lounge* Foxy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Hope you are both happy...Oh, West End has some great book shops...that's the only thing I will agree on.... Foxy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Good for you, Nick! But..   "Leaving spaces in bedside drawers, a cold glass of water waiting in the fridge, these aren’t difficult things to accomplish." You just repeated almost word for word what she said about you on a different forum. Glad to hear you behaved greatly!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Actually it says loads about Australian women...we have great taste in real men hence why you are being avoided like the plague! I agree Canadians are lovely people, but lets face it, everyone loves a holiday romance, we can put our rose coloured glasses on and skip around the countryside, root ourselves silly in a foreign country where noone knows us, then cheerily wave good bye and home to reality. Of course she said all the cute things, you were her tour guide for the week

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I truly believe Nick and his lovely lady were a great match. And it sounds like you were very considerate. Kudos.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'Ms_Devious' I truly believe Nick and his lovely lady were a great match. And it sounds like you were very considerate. Kudos.       Id say they were too.....

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Wonder if Nick and his lady friend wear matching hats?? Foxy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'Ms_Devious' I truly believe Nick and his lovely lady were a great match. And it sounds like you were very considerate. Kudos.      the same person

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'SuperFox' Wonder if Nick and his lady friend wear matching hats?? Foxy well they did cost him $60...and he's " sooooo adorable" in them im sure.....

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    your better than any newspaper , you write so well and if you had your own little weekly blurb in the Australian   I would look forward to it over my morning cuppa. Love your words   And there is a match for even the unusual like yourself nick, ausie, usa, chines or even a Muslum once you get over that little hump, its bad prss thats given to them all at the moment as the boats keep on comming over here in the west.     Last lot some people sitting in gero having a coffee by the sea, rang up cusotmes to say ohhh bye the way ummmm we have a boat load here ordering three long blacks and a muffin to go.     I enjoy your posts nick, keep em comming   at least they have some IQ behind them. I would rather Nicks rants than some crap about oral sex is it good for you too? I am just as guilty of the trivial so makes for a nice change.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    happy for you Nick...she sounds lovely ....and how good is the Avid Reader at West End

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I just read her post on the other thread...wow Nick,your accounting of the week you spent together is almost word for word with hers....two minds with but a single thought...do not let this girl go...you are perfect for each other...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I'm so disappointed! Are you going all soft and mushy on us? Awwwwwww, that's soooooooooo cuuuuuute...... btw, my pom poms are out for you both There's someone for everyone.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    So.... is she deaf?! DG

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' So.... is she deaf?! D actually lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    This seemed highly reverent. I want my money back.   Mr T

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    SuperFox;I may've stolen a hat for a bit. In my defense it kept raining on me. At least Australia has warm rain though ;pDing;I am not allowed to say adorable, apparently it is not manly enough, so I've mostly fallen back on 'endearing'.Mischief; No, though I have been accused of selective hearing now an again, it keeps me cheerful! ;pTR;I am pretty certain I am not a figment of his imagination. I feel like I would be more racist and less polite. Also less interested in penis'. Which is inapropriate but relevant, so. There you are. Also (other than right now) I do not talk about Nazis.Also I dunno that I would use the term _worship_ necessarily. Exceedingly fond of? And it is IS adora-er, I mean, endearing that a grown man should wander about completely oblivious to the bbq sauce/ice cream whatever almost completely covering his lower face.Also technically speaking I bought you the Old Man Logan comic, and I call you a little old man. Mostly for having set days for different foods. Tuesday is pizza say, Thursday is wing night. And so forth. You are like this grumpy little old man who is also really handsome and good in bed, it's great!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    You are like this grumpy little old man who is also really handsome and good in bed, it's great     now I know it has to be you       like I am handsome and good in bed...or did you pay cash for the advertising?     and folks before you get bent out of shape...............its a tease

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'Luckdragon23' do you really need people to spell it out for you? No Australian girl wants anything to do with you because your personality and attitude are as attractive as a big steaming pile of horse shit. You are self-absorbed, arrogant, a self-proclaimed racist, a borderline misogynist, and a wannabe intellectual who is actually not nearly as smart as you think you are. No woman with a normal amount of intelligence and self respect would waste her time on you. Perhaps you should move to Canada. And stop blaming Australian women for your own shortcomings. Also ouch.Maybe when you are accusing someone of being hateful you should be a little less hateful yourself? Just y'know, a polite Canadian suggestion..

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