F68
A truely luckyman is one who has a wife who takes one for the team
October 03 2013
Comments
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Beachlover1999
12 years ago
But I do think, in old fashioned terms if you can keep your husband content and look at each other's desires, even when you don't want to, it stops sooooo many men from straying! Having gone through 2 marriages I might become a Stepford Wife next!!!!!! Lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes I think you should have sex with your husband even if you don't feel like it, well with in reason. As long as he is a considerate lover I am sure You will usually get into it after awhile and if you never do .... Well then you need to reevaluate your sexual connection.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have a male friend who has married his soul mate. Unfortunately she was a virgin when they married (6 years ago) and she does not like sex at all. Says it hurts. Does nothing for her.He, like most men, loves his sex and would have it multiple times a day if possible. But he is so in love with his wife, that he accepts that this is how his life is and refuses to look elsewhere. They do have sex occasionally, standard missionary style, short and sweet. They have yet to have sex this year though. She has told him she won't give him oral sex any more either. Another thing she doesn't like.I have shared my opinion on this matter with him (I agree with the OP - that as a woman you would do this because you love your partner and that is an expression of your love for him) and he has had discussions with her about this, yet he still just lives in hope from day to day.So who is the team player here??
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RHP User
12 years ago
Men do this too (I hope I speak for more than myself). In a relationship, my view is that availing oneself when your partner is in the mood on occasion is all about give & take. It should go both ways too, as long as there is no begrudging doing so. There are limits though. If it was not balanced with romps mutual desire & motivation, then no, there is something that needs to be addressed within the relationship. Oh, and I hate cleaning the oven....
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RHP User
12 years ago
We think if your not up for it at that point in time, don't. But hey that's just how we roll, each to their own The Funky 2 (.)(.) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I often find myself not in the mood but 'force myself' to continue on, but I generally find that he gets me going so quickly that after only 30 seconds or so I'm MORE than keen for it.I think as Meeka said, once you get going - its good and you're glad you did it. More good sex and activities keeps my libido going and means I want it more too, which is always a good thing. Just have to break that cycle of being 'too tired' or 'not in the mood'
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him_and_me
12 years ago
(Granted a big important and exciting part) but it's a bit like going out to dinner. Sometimes you don't feel like eating the same thing as each other so one of you compromises and does as the other asks. Or which movie to see, or going for a walk around the lake... Relationships are about give and take and as long as it's not all going in one direction I think it's ok to sometimes do what the other wants even if it's not what you feel like right at that point in time. Sex should NEVER be forced on an unwilling partner though. That's something totally different.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is one who's wife genuinely wants sex as often as he does!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes love is a good thing but as any shrink would tell you a healthy sex drive is normal. So in short you should be wanting sex not because of love but because your healthy and normal...
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RHP User
12 years ago
As a man would you want your partner to have sex with you, even if she was not so inclined? In short, NO.My first girlfriend did just this and whilst I appreciate what and why she did what she did it was hard to respect her for it and in the end it destroyed our relationship.On the flip side, my ex wife had a sex drive much much higher than mine and rather than fake it with her I encouraged her to find relief elsewhere... i.e. get a girlfriend.Don't ask how that ended, you'll piss yourself laughing!
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RHP User
12 years ago
that there seems to be an assumption that men want sex more than women.I find myself reacting to this comment and I want to grab Bettina Arndt and ask what makes a lucky woman then? Perhaps its the phrasing she used "taking one for the team". To me it smacks of 1950's values when women were meant to be good little wives and dutiful ones at that. Rape in marriage was still legal and men were entitled to their conjugal rights. Sure, as others have said, in relationships there are compromises and having sex when you are sometimes less than keen is one of those compromises, as long as it goes both ways. One thing is if a man is truly not in the mood its quite obvious, by his lack of erection. I wonder how many men would say "I'm not really in the mood but I'm happy to give you pleasure." Perhaps that's another thread.
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RHP User
12 years ago
As for Bettina Arndt is a sensationalist and should be taken with a large pinch of salt. We all have to sacrifice for life. We must work, do chores, look after the kids, etc... We all have the right to say no! Some people are submissive, it is their choose to continue. If they take one for the team then its for reasons to keep the peace. Some are dominate and don't understand that they are actually in a position of power and may not even think that they are using force to satisfy their needs. This is a dysfunctional union. Why people enter into such situations is wide and varied.Again there seems to be a bit of gender bias here. There is a lot more to life then just sex. In fact it is but a small part of life. Yet people like Bettina Arndt blow sex out of all proportion, and people get hooked on her rants. Thus once again we are faced with the problems of a maladjusted relationship. Many can recognize that there are problem and the resort to counseling. What do you get from counseling, the opportunity to communicate. This is the secret to successful relationships.So give a little, take a little, and talk a lot. If you are with a selfish partner then move on. There is more then life then to suffer under the oppression in silence.Kisses dear lovely wife Freya xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Many therapists will advocate "taking one for the team" although it's not said in exactly those words. The hard cold facts are that the more sex an individual has the more they think about sex. It therefore follows that if you are NOT having sex often you will rarely think about it. In order to break this cycle sometimes the best thing you can do.......is have sex. But how to get started if one member isn't thinking about it and wanting it??? The answer is to have sex anyway. We used to have a five minute rule (I've mentioned it here in the forums before) If one person wants sex and the other does not. They can invoke the 5 minute rule. You then grant five minutes during which your partner can do anything they want to get you in the mood. At the end of the five minutes the person who didn't want sex makes the decision if they want to continue or not. Let's face it most people can get pretty damn horny if you devote five full minutes to just pleasuring them, make or female.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
especially if the chosen sport is AFL or cricket - something with a decent number to take.And I don't mind doing pre-game and post-game - just line them up baby! But if I have to restrict to one then its got to be a different one each time. I absolutely refuse to take the one on the bench over and over again - the team will have to do without me if this is the case.Oh dear! Now I have Clementine Ford whispering in my ear about how men are not mindless hydraulic drills percussively thrusting their way through life and their sexuality is no less varied than mine! My God! She even believes they can grasp and navigate the nuances of another's sexual desire and behaviour. This is not as easy as bending over and taking what comes it seems! What do I do if that whole team has different fetishes? How many adult nappies and high chairs can I acquire at short notice if several have the same? Do I lick ass while he sucks cock or vice versa? Am I just there to fluff and watch?Its all very well to say, Bettina, but taking one for the team or the team for one can be more complicated than it first seems.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hilarious!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Beachlover1999'But I do think, in old fashioned terms if you can keep your husband content and look at each other's desires, even when you don't want to, it stops sooooo many men from straying! Having gone through 2 marriages I might become a Stepford Wife next!!!!!! Lol When I first met my now ex we were having great sex almost every day and multiple times during weekend days for about the first 3 or so years, that didn't stop him, he still felt inclined to sleep with his ex girlfriend and his brothers wife. But no I don't have sex if I don't feel like it just in the hope that he wont stray, in my experience if they are gonna do it they will regardless. I now have sex because I want to and I always feel like it But please note that's just my opinion and I know that all men are different :) Wonderfully , magically different
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' Hilarious!- Posted from rhpmobile Thanks Kaleidoscope - I also like your 5 minute rule - it invokes teamwork but no force - Good one! As the Sesame St song goes: Cooperation makes it happen, Cooperation - working together.
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RHP User
12 years ago
and one partner is having the say over the other (No BJs, No Anal, No Facials, No....)and the other wants to accept these terms and settle for a mediocre sex-life.....A possible outcome will be frustration and uneven care factor coupled with limited fulfillment and passion degradation until such a time, with no-where to turn, they will turn on each other.....If not He will watch Porn on the computer at night and be occasionally caught in websites reserved the hardcore neglected man. And it's free. The Porn that is.
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madotara69
12 years ago
does not take much time out of ones day, Are we as a couple lucky that we can cum in a few minutes, Guess so.Stress causes many problems, we all need to constantly remind ourselves that it is not what should become "the one for the team".Mado Tara xx
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