M34
Advice for a virgin
May 25 2013
Comments
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Hey.... Welcome to the RHP asylum. Im assuming that's kind of the reason you gravitated to the site? If your virginity is such a burden to you and you see it as a barrier to advancing, the obvious immediate solution is to get it out of the way with a prostitute. Virginity gone. Burden gone. But is genuine confidence, self belief and self worth instantly replacing it?! Of course not. Obviously then.... virginity, and confidence are not inextricably linked. (although confidence gained through the knowledge that youre experienced can clearly be of some benefit.). There are men in this world, virgins, who are literally revered by millions. There are PLENTY of men in the world who are not virgins, and they are far from genuinely confident. There are also plenty of non virgins in the world who are not good lovers either.... something to keep in mind too. Sex is therefore, just one aspect that goes to confidence. As for attraction....don't fall into the trap of thinking everyone looks better than you. That's a major confidence pitfall right there. Sure, how you present visually shouldnt be ignored, but unless you're terribly hideous (joke!)....make the best of what you DO have, and any of those perceived shortcomings you think you have CAN be surpassed by personality and knowledge of how attraction works. Consider that good looks can work against you too. Think of how many good looking, athletic, or wealthy..... absolute shitbag arseholes youve seen or heard of!!! They've used these elements as props to hide their personality flaws. So keep it simple. Know thy self, know what you want, have a vision for where you want to head, listen to and understand others, and learn how attraction works. Be intetesting and fun, and people will WANT to share in it with you. And if you slowly escalate that attention and attraction with women, it'll happen naturally, often, and well. Its hard to see as a virgin, wr've sll been there... but don't make a big deal out of sex and it won't become a big deal for you. And.......enjoy the learning curve :-) DG
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Not going to sugar coat this one. Sexual confidence takes time but this is a good thing. It's something that needs to be nurtured and you want to experience it with someone who cares about you. I found the best way was to explore myself and what turns me on. When you become more confident about yourself and what you want then the other person will feel it too & that's what makes sex fantastic. It's about enjoying it as much as the other person. Good luck x
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Maybe you could go to a working girl, not so much to loose your cherry but to ask her how to please a woman. a mate of mine was in the navy and he said he learnt heaps from a working girl listen even if you got her to show you her bits and bobs so at least you can see what your aiming for. or get yourself a good profile with some pictures of your face in your private gallery just say what you need,but after your cherry is plucked by some woman on rhp well dont be a born again virgin every time you post or they will wise up toyou maybe try an older woman if this is the way you want to loose it I think its better than doing the fumble fuck that may happen ifyou get a younger girl with not much experience. Learn how to saddle up, before you go for the ride. read the forums that may help you a bit good luck and some virgins can make good lovers, you dont need to use your willy to satisfy a woman if you learn that early then you will be a better lover
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Im a virgin too !I pwomise.But seriously boy, DONT go to a hooker house to lose your cherry, SHEESH. (you might get a loose cherry hahah) Solly Tuscanred:PHonestly mate, save your bucks and buy one of those inflatable love doll thingys and do lots of practice kissing and fondling it in the dark, (and dont just screw its mouth either)Then with all the money you will have saved on prostitution costs you will be able to buy a nice new car and a house and many, many more inflatable love dolls and become a plastic cassanova gang bang stud! At least when the love dolls become all flabby and loose you wont lose you car and half the house. :)
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I have known two kinds of asian guys - some lack self confidence and get no action, others have self confidence and get laid so much its crazy. Chicks seem to love an asian guys with confidence, so I think thats probably the only thing you are missing. Two of my best friends are asian (one filipino, one thai) and both get more attention from women in one night than most guys get in a year. Bastards.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Nothing will change. We're all different in some ways but our need for physical interact with the opposite sex is a urge we all have. Only you know when the time is right. Over thinking won't help. We all have to start somewhere so start by thinking positive, step outside your comfort zone and see what happens. Tuscans suggestion to see a working lady is not a bad option even if its just to break the ice. Don't make a big deal out of it.. just get positive..
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I agree and disagree. I don't think you should have sex with a prostitute....... Yet. Firstly, it's not going to help with your confidence. Your paying her to give you an experience, so all the confidence inspiring things she says are going to be false. Just like all the things my stripper told me! But then again if I was 30 and a virgin I would just bit the bullet. Your worried about you appearance. DON'T BE. You can't change your face (unless your a 21 year old millionaire) so work on other areas. Get your body nice and toned and muscular. Most women can't resist having a quick look and it does wonders for your confidence when they do. Get used to chatting to girls to increase your confidence. If you place women on an Unobtainable pedastool (like a lot of mags do), you will be too scared. Small steps bro. Maybe go to some unisex social sporting clubs like beach volley ball. Get chatting, say your looking to make friends and get fit. Maybe you should come with me to my strip club. Practice chatting to semi naked babes, they are just people after all, and if you can not be nervous about chatting to someone you just want to bend over the table and smash her where she stands, your on your way. Good luck man. CBF
-
RHP User
13 years ago
...you'll remember it for the rest of your Life ;) So look for some Quality . Forget the Prostitute approach . If you're shy it can be an awkward experience . To her , you'll just be another number (Mug). You've taken the first , positive step . You're Here!! Establish a rapport with a Woman first . Use your Brain . Treat every Woman with Respect . & if she's not interested , Respect her choice . You're young . You've got plenty of Time . Nothing more off-putting than a young guy trying desperately to "earn his Stripes" . Look for an older Woman instead of Women in your age group . She's more likely to be Nurturing and Understanding . & lastly , your Culture & Heritage has nothing to do with anything . Don't let it be a stumbling block . Your Brain , Heart & Soul are what define you as a Person . GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Don't waste your money on a bought one.....and don't look for an older woman.....look for someone your own age, someone you can learn with, not from. Don't push it, and dont try to rush it.....let it happen naturally and beautifully...- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
13 years ago
First time should be with some you care for and love. Don't pay for your first time, best wait. Its an easy out but its not what you are looking for. You need someone to fuck you for you, because they are hanging to fuck you. At your age it can be hard to find those that are hungry for you, but in any room full there is some one for you and every now and then you are into them. If you two fuck it will give so much more confidence then buying an hour.Heads up that person could come at any time, out of the blue. You never know... :)
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I have found that virginity can become a big obstacle if held onto for too long. Why the belief that you need to be with someone you care about first? This is why some cultures send their boys to a more mature woman for initiation. Sex is normal and natural. There is nothing wrong with recreational sex and I personally take umbrage at all the above replies telling you not to waste your money on a working girl. Just another number? Sucker? Working girls must have changed a bit since I was one then. Learning "together"!is also not a good idea. If neither of you know what to do then how are you ever going to learn? When it comes to pleasing another sexually, practice does not make perfect. Someone needs to tell you and show you.- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
13 years ago
In a ideal world that's probally right. If your confident enough to follow what they prefer you do ? Well and good. Otherwise do whatever you feel comfortable with..
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel'Don't waste your money on a bought one.....and don't look for an older woman.....look for someone your own age, someone you can learn with, not from. Don't push it, and dont try to rush it.....let it happen naturally and beautifully...- Posted from rhpmobile I cant add any more Well said.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I mentioned prostitutes ONLY because its the most obvious, and immediate sexual avenue.But I also said.... its not going to solve the underlying issue relating to the authors confidence.In fact, it might even have a detrimental efffect if he is the introspective type, and gets caught up in the fact that paying for sex was his only option.He should focus on genuine, inner confidence.... and learning about how attraction really works.The rest will come with those experiences that will follow on from that.DG
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks everyone for their comments. I think im just gonna be more confident. Only thing is when i talk to a girl its like the usual, how are you, hows your day been, etc.... not exactly firing them up.Is there a direction of conversation i could talk to have her think in her head that maybe i am a sexual option and less of another guy that i had a nice conversation with?
-
RHP User
13 years ago
This is a half truth. Good to get you going, say on your way to a date or a big night out. If I'm going to an interview or even work and I'm feeling a little nervous/tired/low in energy I like to listen to some kickass music, by the time I get there I'm usually in top form. Do remember though there's a fine line between confident and downright obnoxious so tread carefully, then into the bedroom side of things, just take your time and don't be afraid to ask what feels good to your partner, we ladies are all so different when it comes to what we like and how we like it that even the most experienced men can get it oh so wrong sometimes... We really don't mind being asked, it shows that you care about our pleasure too. Listening and watching how a woman responds to what you are doing is also going to help, there is nothing worse than a bloke going hammer and tong at you when it is quite obvious that you are not getting off. If you are getting all the right noises and they continue to build, and her body is pulling towards you and not away from you then keep doing whatever it is you are doing, and very importantly, keep in mind "don't stop!" Means just that, it does not mean go faster/slower/harder... You may want to try a slightly older woman who has a little experience and knows what she likes. Good luck dlone, let us know how you go.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Not just any old porn though, search for 'sensual sex videos', as this is more in keeping with what women are after, not too many of us enjoy gagging on a cock that is thrust as far back into our throats as possible. A lot of kissing and touching, most women need this to be fully aroused and will make for a better experience all round. I also like Shel's advice about learning with and not from someone, can be fun, a good laugh together in the bedroom is always a good ice breaker. You will be fine, we've all been there and come through the other side, in twenty years you will wonder what the big fuss was all about.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'dloneunit' Thanks everyone for their comments. I think im just gonna be more confident. Only thing is when i talk to a girl its like the usual, how are you, hows your day been, etc.... not exactly firing them up.Is there a direction of conversation i could talk to have her think in her head that maybe i am a sexual option and less of another guy that i had a nice conversation with? Check your mailbox.... Im going to send you some links to information that I believe will be of solid benefit to you and your development of genuine confidence.DG
-
RHP User
13 years ago
you dont need to use your willy to satisfy a woman if you learn that early then you will be a better lover. I totally agree with that Tuscanred Too many used there dick as a brain
-
RHP User
13 years ago
i think guys know what's best for other guys...especially on topics like these... my own was with an older woman, and its always been my biggest regret. i missed out on something very special, by being with someone who had absolutely no emotional investment.......in me. i missed the excitement, the nerves, the fumbling....i missed the knowing....the sharing of secret looks and touches....and i missed being able to share that special moment.....with someone equally as special to me...... what i got was a dry, cold unloving experience, at the hands of someone too many years my senior, and it quickly became a great source of personal shame and embarrassment...and when i did eventually get to be alone and naked with a young lass my own age, i was absolutely gobsmacked by her beauty, how lovely her body was, how lush and ripe...what i had been shown by my 'tutor'...was a sad approximation. i had that conversation not that long ago with my wife....about 'who was my first'..... and i was so tempted to lie and make some wonderful story up...but i couldn't. i let her have the truth....and the truth sucks in this case. without going into details, lets just say that the telling....ended in tears for us both. so much for looking back on something that should've been special.. with fondness....all i ever experience is anger and regret.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Chatting to a close friend earlier this week n they are frustrated with a male friend who has told her, 'she is too special to have sex with' - she is friends with him, but not the best of friends! He comes up with excuse after excuse as to why he shouldn't n wouldn't indulge in sex with her, to the point she is taking it very personal n wondering what's wrong with her! He will go out n have sex with others n then tell her - a slap in the face or too special! Thoughts??
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Seriously, we all like to think our first would leave us with sparrows flying outta our bum. But it rarely happens. Doesn't mean anything really, being young and inexperienced what else can you expect ? Don't put high expectations on yourself and you won't have any regrets. If its excellent ' good, if its bumbling and anxious, that's OK too. We all have to start somewhere . You can't expect to know it all first time round... Go with the flow and enjoy yourself.. After that , practice makes perfect.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Why should she lower herself to negotiating with the guy as to why he should have sex with her. Is her self esteem that poor?And why should HE have to justify his decision to say no?!!!No means no... right?!Flip the script..... if SHE said no to his advances, repeatedly....... how does that make him look?!(Besides like a desperate chump... that is)DG
-
RHP User
12 years ago
To you would be, learn how to pleasure a lady either through books or educational vids (not porn). You could also find someone who would be willing to teach you.. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
12 years ago
don't listen to jewel, you need practical experience not theoretical. Find a girl, put it in and practice not coming too quickly. there should be plenty of Asian women who want the d so try them
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88159
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10229
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2521 Comments: 11677
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9759
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1009 Comments: 5265
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share