Advice needed

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  MsJonesy

  6 years ago

  And no. You have your own agenda for wanting her to be interested. She is cautious, you seem to be wanting to jump in asap. Go at her pace, not yours. Allow her to control the profile and make the decisions. By all means explore the forums, there is a wealth of information here. Tread lightly, go gently, and talk. Most importantly, listen to your partner and respect her right to make her own decisions about this.

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  If she is insecure about you wanting other women over her now, imagine how she is probably going to feel watching you ball-deep in another woman. People can express fantasies, like your partner does, and they can watch porn of that fantasy - it's another thing to go forth and act on it. If you really want to show her that it is all about her and not you, give her the first choice on what she wants to do. If she wants a FF encounter, help her organize it and then step back - leave her to it. If you can't help but steer it toward you getting your end wet with another woman though, then it's all about you and you probably deserve what you get if things go South in your relationship. If I sound a little nasty, your post just sounds too much like her going along with your desire to spread your seed in other fields. It doesn't sound like she is really into it very much at all.

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  Sawadee

  6 years ago

  I dont think you are being selfish at all... Your feelings ( although driven by testosterone ) are quite normal , so dont let anybody tell you any different. If we didnt have testo where would we be ? Men say it as it is which on most occassions ' gets us in a shitload of strife. Men are to the point which comes across to our female counterpart as cold and uncaring , when in fact we do care ? The problem is ' once we say something , we cant un say it and it then appears to our better half like were backtracking and the shit then hits the fan.. We know what we said could have been handled more delicately but by now its seems too late. But is it ? Concentrate on her needs .. If lesbian porn does it for her , pursue her needs .. if all goes well , you will probally benifit somewhere along the line anyway.. If after that , she doesnt show any interest, you just have to join the thousands of other guys, all in the same boat... As they say , you can lead a horse to water , but you cant force it to drink... Good luck guys , i hope you can start all over again and find some common ground.

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  As someone else said get her a bit more involved with the profile on here. Let her take charge of it more. But definitely go at the pace she sets.

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  We've been together for almost 8 years and only recently began inviting other men to join us. If you were to ask MissK 24-36 months ago if she would have considered being where we are today - she would have felt the same way as your partner. Insecure about herself and insecure about what it may do to our already amazing relationship. She had no desire to allow another guy see her naked, and even was self concious in the flesh around me. Now we're talking a 5'4" Size 8 Blonde that I would walk a mile of hot coals to get to here...... she just had no self confidence and very poor body image issues after she would have lost approx 50% of her bodyweight just before I met her. Now, I dont think theres any one fix answer but from experience when I initially asked MissK if she would ever be open to the idea and she expressed a fairly clear 'no' to me, to where we are today took alot of hard work on both our parts, strengthening our relationship so she was happy to be who she was. It was never a focus with the end game to get us here either, I think MissK also couldnt rid herself of the naughty little scenarios we would sometimes create between us in the heat of passion and it just came up again on its own when it was ready one night after one very steamy lovemaking session. We had a very honest and open chat about what did interest us about a +1 for the next couple of hours and again numerous times over coming weeks. Fast forward 5 months and we now have a very clear view of what each other is open to now, and in the future. We know all the things we each would like to get from broadening our sexual experiences. She is also simply amazed at the attention she has received from guys she would have thought way out of her playing field. This and our first 4 MMF meets with 2 guys have now seen MissK's confidence accelerate towards the moon as a woman and a lover. With my experience shared I still think we are all very different but communication is common to anyones positive growth and ultimately a positive experience. From there I wish you guys all the best and hope that it all goes well in what can be a joyous ride!! MrC

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