After Care

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  MsSuperFoxy

  2 years ago

  I understand you are a cuddler. You need to make your intentions very clear from the start and include topic of aftercare. Experienced Dom's will ask this during vet process, as aftercare is a very important step in BDSM. As a single women, I no longer seek it from people. Yes, the adrenalin drop is a bitch. However, I look after myself. Cuddles are good however sometimes I just want the person to leave so I have my own space, with a kind "Thank you", especially with one night stands. The last thing I want is to smothered. If it's with a lover, they know the boundaries, they already know what aftercare I need. Ms Foxy

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  MsSuperFoxy

  2 years ago

  When it comes to couples, you play, you're a 3rd, leave aftercare for the partner. Thank them tho and be respectful. May leave it for 24hrs then get in touch for feedback etc, especially If it's intense BDSM play. As for being a single man and you dont want any form of relationship with that person and, you offer cuddles and the boyfriend experience afterwards, expect backlash, because you're giving them mixed singles. Ms Foxy

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  Andrea_Sydney

  2 years ago

  I personally think it’s damn rude to tell a person (man or woman) to leave when a threesome is winding up! You definitely hang out with the person, chat, laugh, have another drink, see what they need. Especially if they are the third entering a couple space, you look after them before, during and after. Not just because it’s rude and insensitive otherwise but also because it’s part of the enjoyment. You share the afterglow threeway, however it feels best for everyone involved. If one leaves the set feeling cheap or kicked out you are bad play partners and need to work on courtesy and empathy. In my opinion anyway.

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  ElectricDreamers

  2 years ago

  I (Mrs) play solo when travelling. As a unicorn it's the pitts when the fun is over and it's clear someone wants you gone (in this case the girlfriend). That old adage free hooker comes to mind. As a couple we always make some conversation with our guest (s) after. I'm a cuddler if the vibe's there I love a bit of after-care. Solo I have gotten dressed, thanked them, given a kiss and a hug and walked out the door... I think each encounter is different, you can't make assumptions based on the past but I think it's the same as being in a home - if it's your home be a good host unless you're not feeling it and really want your space. If you're the guest - be gracious and try to read the room.

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  FeistyFatty

  2 years ago

  I am NOT. A cuddler.... Hate cuddles. *.After group play its more of a chat, drink, reattire and say your goodbyes until next time. *. After a threesome, with an invited guest who isn't a friend.... Yeah, nah thanks for coming and we'll see you down the road for me ..... Hubby doesn't mind a chat and a beer afterwards..... I'm not into it. *. Solo plays.... Of a Ninja fuck.... Thanks for the fuck, lock the door on your way out. If its a regular friend, might lie there for a chat... Have a shower together..... But I'm usually wrapping things up fairly swiftly.

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  RHP User

  2 years ago

  Wow what a great response from all lovely and very very more experienced people I hope this has helped others navigate the minefield of emotions and feelings going into play as I am taking serious notes and preparing myself!

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  Alex_Lover

  2 years ago

  Every one, and every situation is different. There are no standards or rules, you need to communicate, openly & often ❤️ When we play with a 3rd, we enjoy hanging out, chatting, laughing, snacking and cuddling with them, if they have time & want to. When I play solo or with a couple, I say to them, I love spending time with you, and the moment you want me gone, just say so. (Or, I have to leave by xx time.) Until then I'm more than happy to cuddle, massage, chat and do whatever they want 🥰. - Alex.

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  Yellowpenguins

  2 years ago

  I don't have to specifically cuddle , I won't say no though, do love a cuddle! 🤗 But I don't like the ol - root and boot personally. If cuddles are a no go ,I like to lie next to each other and catch breath, have a chat and just relax for a bit before getting up and going. ..or going again ;)

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  MrandMrsEss

  2 years ago

  Another excellent topic Barman, I think the answers so far cover it well. Everyone is different ans every experience is too so knowing everyone’s desires and expectations is key for a hot experience to be an even better memory.

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  RHP User

  2 years ago

  I wish the SWs offered aftercare haha. They throw you out on the buzzer Idk what the advice is. Maybe we're in the wrong market and we need to go marry someone

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