Approaching people in swingers clubs to say hello and potentially play

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Hey there N and C I'm just the same, I am very shy in certain situations but I think you need to remember that everyone is there for the same reason and some are probably just as shy. How about walking around with your husband a for a bit and chat to a few people and then once you start to feel comfortable branch out by yourself:-) Now all I need to do is take my own advice and head to a singles night or an event night when the pop up lol

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  You could ask someone you already know, that knows the people you are interested in, to introduce you. Really, in these situations, I think most everybody is very very friendly. In my experience, even if they aren't interested in having sex with me, people are still very very friendly and approachable.HugsStalky

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  ....but I imagine that, similar to a mainstream nightclub, you look around and make eye contact first. A furtive glance and maybe a smile are great indicators.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  In my limited experience, most people are very friendly and it is very easy to start conversations. I think all you can do is practice, practice and practice. Each time will get easier and after a few times you will realise that it isn't so hard. People are very nice and if they are not, well puck them it's their loss. I am not a real social butterfly either. I don't mind sitting and people watching... even sometimes to sit there on my own. But I do catch peoples eye and smile... often they will then come and chat to me. And if that doesn't work I flash my tits that always works a treat. xxMeeka

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I feel the same, went to CI on Saturday night and felt like I froze? But didn't stop me from enjoying the night just watching, but came away a little annoyed at myself for not being more forward ! Having the fantasy and acting it out are two different things

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  once you have been out there a few times you will get your confidence and it will be a whole lot easier. just like the first time ............ we have met very few bad ( or totaly disliked) people, swinger clubs are usually full of friendly and polite people. dont expect to much and go in with an open mind and you will not be disappointed. have fun

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  captainkaos

  14 years ago

  Just smile at them.   I used to be shy as well. I hate being afraid of things or being shy so I go out of my way to overcome those fears and shyness. Walk up to them and introduce yourself. Just a simple Hello and go from there. You don't have to have sex together but you can at least have a drink or a short conversaton with them.   Even if they totally reject you, what's the worst that can happen. They can say "Sorry we are not interested." You are an extremely sexy curvy woman. Not everyone is to everyones tastes so you shouldn't be offended or disheartened. I have had my share of knock backs but I have also had alot of poeple who have loved my company and our sexual encounters together.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  where are the swingers clubs or the clubs swingers go to in Melbourne...and we have the same problem so were watching this post closely :)thanks for bringing it up

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Hey guysI know what you mean, it is hard to get that question out of your mouth to ask others to join you in play.But remember they are all probably feeling the same, especially when the club is so busy and over whelming.Mingle and chat dont ever expect to do anything and then your night will be a surprise if you do..Talk to others about what you are looking for and watch reactions, ask the question if you find someone interesting and see what their rules are.What is the worst thing that can happen...they say no,, big deal...there are heaps of other lovely couples and singles there to move on to.No is no and simple, dont ever take offence at No, as there could be good reasons why they said no, maybe she has a period, maybe their rules dont allow them to play, maybe they just want to enjoy the night and not play. No one has to give reasons, just move on and keep going. Never take a no as a bad thing, just mingle and chat to others and one night you may find the perfect couple for you both.You both are sexy and fun and i am sure you will have no trouble at all.Buy the way, how great was the masked ball...the club just keeps getting better and better doesnt it, thanks to all you wonderful people . OhLetme....i am so pleased you came along and had a nice night, i think you would have realized after a while that there was nothing to be worried about hey!Leesa CI.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Hi N & C Know exactly what you mean! There is a big difference between the fantasy and the fantasy becoming a reality. I agree 100% with Leesa, don't have any expectations other than to make friends and cruise along in a relaxed environment. Concentrate on enjoying your night together and have a few drinks and get a bit tiddly and who knows from then on in!   My partner and I are going to CI this weekend with another couple and it will be our first time attending the club (safety in numbers LOL!) and I can say we're slightly shitting ourselves! But also excited to meet some likeminded couples and make some new friends along the way :-)

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  where is CI

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  CI is Couples International and we were the first Council approved venue for swingers in Australia.We are the only Swingers club in Brisbane and located at 5 Holden street, Woolloongabba.Go to our website for all our parties.Leesa. CI

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  will keep that in mind if we ever visit

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  QLDtwo4fun

  14 years ago

  We are a bit the same. It's taken a while and we are only just becoming comfortable with process, but we have also changed our approach. Talk to anyone, you never know who you may find interesting. Remember everyone is there with a similar interest, asking someone about playing in a sex on premises club is no greater step than offering to buy someone a drink in a bar. They may say no thanks, but they aren't going to be horrified that you brought it up. Even if they say no, they are still probably a bit flattered that you saw them a sexy.

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  Mr_MrsJones

  14 years ago

  We are the same and we have been going there for years!!!   We recently went to CI and there were heaps of people and there was playing but it seemed everyone who was playing only wanted to play with their partners or with someone who wasn't us!! What did we do?   We had a look, had a few drinks, played some pool, met some nice people and had some chats and then went home and had great sex with each other. Did we have a bad night? No. It was a little frustrating in some ways but really the only way you are ever going to know is to ask. It is a swingers club. Asking is OK. It is hard to get past that conditioning about not asking a stranger directly for sex but really no one is going to jump down your throat. We have been told no when we have put it out there and we have said no as well. No one has ever made a scene or been rude.   Afterwards we were chatting and we thought about all the times we have been to CI (too many to count) but we could easily count the number of times we have met a nice couple and played. So you can't ever go with the expectation that the perfect people will be there waiting for you and you will bump into eacher and everything will go swimmingly. You have to go with an open mind and no expectations.   I hope this helps.   Mrs Jones

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