M39
Asking a girl out...
November 21 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ive always found that women like cofidence in men. Christ dont ask the sister. Ask her out the worst that can happen is she says yes and after a couple of weeks you loose interest and cant get rid of her
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RHP User
16 years ago
In person or some romantic gesture is always best! I love the idea of sending her flowers and asking that way. just make sure you let her know how to say yes eg call you, text you, meet you somewhere. Mind you, if you do ask her with flowers but you're not romantic by nature, she might expect more gestures in future and be disappointed when she finds out it was a one-off, so maybe think about that. I don't know about other girls but I like to know a guy is interested in me for my personality and spirit as much as my looks. It might work better if you don't focus on her being gorgeous first.But hey, that's just me being picky.Ask her in person. Send her flowers. Ring her up. Definitely not via the sister or a text message ;) Just ask her ... x
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RHP User
16 years ago
I really think that for the first date, asking in person is the best way. I like the flowers idea but not as a way of asking her out, I'd be more likely to send them to her after the first date, if the date goes well..... I'm a romantic at heart :P lol Yes, it's surely true that girls like confidence in men. I sometimes think this is why "bad boys" are so popular... no real woman WANTS to be treated like shit... it's just that "bad boys" often have the confidence other guys lack, so initially we are attracted to that... then, before we know what happened, we're in too deep with a complete ass :P lol Confidence is the key! Good luck, Cas xxx Sophie
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RHP User
16 years ago
It sounds like a scene from Waynes World when Garth wants to ask the "foxy lady" out on a date!!!!!! Ask her in person. Its only a date with the potential for more. Your not asking for her kidney or her hand in marriage. I understand about the lack of confidence thing, heck im a girl, it almost becomes standard at birth!!! But like most of us girls, we deal with it. Better to bite the bullet than to be old and living with regrets...... Good luck xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi I think everyone here has hit the nail on the head already especialy Sophie. Ask her out first flowers as a follow up if you so chose. But remember in most interactions what is said accounts for 7% and 93% is your body language so you need to portray your confidence via your body language, posture etc take up some space and be a man, eye contact. She may not remember the next day exactly what you said but she will remember how you came across and handles yourself in that situation. Good luck mate I hope it goes well for you, sounds like your a genuine guy and she would be lucky to have you :) Cam
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RHP User
16 years ago
Personally I think the flowers at work is a great idea!!! I work Saturdays as well & loathe it especially when my man isn't working so a gorgeous bunch of flowers at work would be awesome!!! Maybe even send the flowers & a card saying how you feel (don't go overboard) just say something like you have had your eye on her & think she is a wonderful lady & would like the opportunity to get to know her better on a personal level. Maybe you could even send the flowers anonymously so when she is at work she will be wondering & possibly even hoping that you sent them. (sounds like there are sparks between you already) Although if the other guy is still chasing her maybe it would be a better idea to write your name on the card. Then call her when she has finished work to ask if she received the flowers & if she would like to go out for coffee, dinner or drinks. Don't ask the sister to ask her if you don't want to give the impression that you are shy!!! I hope that helps - I can relate to the 'same sex school' I did feel I had a lot to catch up with as well but in time you will grow more confident with the opposite sex Good luck!!! Jess
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mate you have to ask her out face to face, and as spunky assed Sophie mentioned, keep the flowers for AFTER the date.One little trick you can use is in not really asking her, but informing her.IE- If you say- "Look, i was wondering, um, if you were not doing anything Friday night, if youd like to go out to dinner?". This leaves a lot of openings, to flame you.instead maybe ask her, what she is doing on Friday, if she says, "Oh nothing", then let her know that you will pick her up around 6pm and taking her out to dinner. f you ar a bit flirty and non serious, it will be alot harder for her to say no to you, as you haven't asked her a question.If by some chance she does say no- DON'T LOOK OR FEEL REJECTED! You let her no in a funy non threatening way that it's her loss, as they make the best (Whatever dish) there, and there will be more or you. It is not overCloser to Friday, you can send her a cheeky text letting her know that this is her last chance to experience heaven in a plate. Let her know, it's only dinner, and it's not like you want to fuck her. (Trust me that last line is really important )Above all you gotta at least seem confident and if you are not you gotta try faking it till you make it. Don't let her looks and aura get the better of yougood luck
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RHP User
16 years ago
just re-read your post.Dn't ask if she'd like to go to dinner or a movie, or drinks or something NONONO.A confident bloke, KNOWS EXACTLY what he is going to do.You already need to know EXACTLY were you are going to take her, and if you are really keen on her,Threeo massive rules1- you asked her out, you pay for EVERYTHING. PERIOD.2- Don't try to score on the first date. If you try for any of the bases on the first night, you have a 95% chance of fucking it all up.3-Be prepared to driver her home, This will save you some dollars for a cab fare and show you care about her safety. Plus it should stop you drinking too much and making an ass of yourself.Walk her to her front door, let her know yu had an awesome night, don't hesitate in giving her a "Quick" peck on the lips, then get the hell out of there pronto. Let her know that you got an early start tomorrow going jetskiing, or rock climbing or whatever. (Make up soething if you have to as long as it sounds REALLY exciting). and no matter how much they beg you to stay-you gotta leave em wanting more.This hs always worked for me, and the proof is in the pudding, i am punching so far above my weight where my wife is concerned (She is my goddess)hehe good luck
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RHP User
16 years ago
This thread is making me miss all that romantic stuff. Casually- however you go about it your intentions are sure to shine through. I am sure she will feel fantastic either way.. and the best thing is even if she doesnt want to take things further with you, the way you have gone about it will ensure a friendship remains. Hope it all goes brilliantly xx Girlycuddles
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RHP User
16 years ago
Casual.... Be true to yourself ....If you like the girl then plan to get the girl...women love guys that think...its all part of their psyche make up...they want the package....and this doesnt mean the seize of your cock....they love the time taken to get to know them....the effort you put in and the X factor of being yourself and something different from other attracted and attractive male suitors This is the law of the Jungle......If you tick most of her boxes then you have her....."guy chases girl until girl catches him"!!!! Dont eva ask sisters...now that would be grade 10 stuffLOL .....Chat to her...dont spend too much time with her at first.... give her time to process the moment.....txt is also great after you have chatted as this allows for distant yet personal communique between the two of you.... Dont meet again in pub when ppl have their different FACES on and guard up...but meet somewhere subtle but in public...You will then get vibes as to where her head is at......the sexual tension... will be noticable but plz refrain from anything but kissing....sex early is sex ova... Women love tension.... let her reveal her needs and wants and at her pace...everyone loves to feel that power.... Slow and steady boyo...and I guarantee the sex will be sooooo much better for you and her.... LMAO it will be over before you know it....but there is always the next time...say in 14 minutes......mmmmmmm the tension!!!!! Kind regards Atomic
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RHP User
16 years ago
Heya people.Thank you for your feedback and advice, I wanted to wait until I'd sucked up the courage to ask her before I went any further.So, was at the pub today (she works there and dont have her number so dont get the chance to meet her anywhere else). I complemented her yesterday evening and had a long chat with her 1 on 1 at a table of 8 (mutual friends) about lots of things, her current issues, with moving (offered to help her move her stuff), relationships etc, managed to find out her favourite restaurant (score!) and some other stuff.Went there today, she was working which I knew from last night, and I went and bought a few drinks (she was out back), when she was finally there I approached her infront of some people at the bar:ME: ''Hey X, I was just wondering if you'd like to go out for a meal some time, as I think you're a really nice girl.'' <-- Sounds cheesey huh? :s Kinda lost my head after already buying three drinks before (non alcoholic) as I was worried about asking her out.HER: ''Yeah, sure, when!?''ME: ''Well, whenever you're free if you like. I haven't got my phone with me as it's outside in the beer garden, but I'll get it off you in a little bit?'' <-- SMOOTH, lol.HER: ''Just as friends though yeah...first.'' <-- At first it sounds kinda bad, just as friends, but then she paused and said first. Now I'm not sure if this is because she was trying to save me some pain from rejecting me, or if she was being serious, because she wants to get to know me better first.ME: ''Sure, i'll see you in a bit, thanks for the drink.''EXIT ME, lol.Kinda felt rejected at first, but not sure if she likes me or not. I know she's suffered some childhood shit and she was in a bad mood tonight, but I'm not sure whether to take that as a success or a failure. I ended up texting her sister for her number as she had to go out the back and wasnt behind the bar anymore after that (preparing for the restaurant for the evening), so when I get her number I'll text her the following (unless you guys think its a bad idea):'Hey X, hope you dont mind but I got your number off your sister because you were busy out the back last night. I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable asking you out at work, but I'd really like to get to know you better, and If you're still interested in grabbing a meal together or a movie (as friends of course) then i'd like that, just let me know when you're free. x'Anyone disagree with that text? I offered to help her and her sister move their gear into their new house if they get it, and the sister said she'd definately take me up on that offer if they get the place. She's had a dodgy childhood and the rumour is she's a virgin/hasnt had a boyfriend, so i know id be great for her as im not in a rush to progress to the sex stage, and im a nice guy, so i think id be good for her and i think once she tells her sister i asked her out for a meal, she'll tell her the same, because we get on really well and she helped me through my break up with my ex. I think her bad childhood experience is maybe why the 'just as friends...first' statement could be a positive for me and not necessarily a rejection. I mean, if she was rejecting me she'd have said a straight up 'no thanks but im not interested', right?What do you guys think, is it looking good or bad for me? She told me on Friday why she didn't go out with two of the guys that were after her, because they were immature, didnt drive, didnt have any independence, all of which I have (aside from moving back in with the rents since my break up, which i want to remedy asap).Also, would it be strange for me to take her out to dinner 'as friends' and offer to pay for it all? I don't think so but I don't want her thinking i'm trying to intimidate her or push a relationship on her or whatever.I wish I had said to her; 'would you like to go out for a drinka s id like to get to know you better' or something along those lines (as suggested by someone here), which is what i wanted to say but i lost my train of thought with her not being at the bar each drink i went up for, and kinda forgot my gameplan lol. Reason being, woulda looked less pushy/clingy/asking for a date.Feedback appreciated, thanks, have a good weekend. x
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RHP User
16 years ago
I don't think of myself as the one off sex guy generally, I'll always take a relationship > casual sex. I really like this girl, I think she's beautiful and has a nice personality, even more so after speaking to her last night. She seems to have her head screwed on and she seems maturer than I initially thought. I just want to be with her and help her move past any issues she has from the past, if she still has them.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hello my sweetest cas .... sorry I am late xxxxx So you have asked here out...Great..she has said as friends....first..Great..sounds like a plus there... Yes..send here a txt..She knows you and her sister are friends..All good.. Pay for the dinner..Show her a lovely time. Which i know you would.. Take your time at dinner..she seems relaxed enough to talk to you about stuff in her life already. So ask her more if she is relaxed. That is how we get to know someone.. Tell her of some off your fun antics in Pommie land..lol..Keep mood fun..flirt with her a lil..Body language is the key. Eyes......make eye contact...I love a man with smiling eyes.. Be yourself.....cause you are a gentleman xxxxxxx hugs to you my friend xxxxxxxx sweetpetite41 xxx PS...If you do end up with her dating..I do hope you both come here for that BBQ and Wii games ..lol..
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RHP User
16 years ago
Maybe try asking her out for coffee and lunch first? Something a little more relaxed, so that you both feel comfortable.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ok so spoke to her todayshe sms me after i sms'd her saying she doesnt think its cool to date since she works with my ex and even though my ex and i are friends she thinks it would be weird, which i sms'd backs aying i respected. she said 'as mych of a sweet guy i am she thinks its noht a good idea'' blabla friends with my ex *even though nwe still friends* etcif she wanted to date me she would have, no questions asked, so i said i hope we can still be friends and she said she owuldnt have it any other way, os i guess friends is all we'll have. still, atleast me and her still be m8s and i aint amde her feel uncomfortable, she's ag reat girl/been at pub since 1.30 today so pretty pissedbt fucked off, reall lok forward to dating her get to know her better, she a great girl oh well. :(cya
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RHP User
16 years ago
Come to Bunbury...and my strapon will make ya feel better... You never know...she might change her mind ..... hugs n kisses weetpetite41 xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'm probably not your "typical" girl, Cas... it's not a secret that I like dominant men...but I certainly don't fall down at their feet begging to worship.... they need to earn it... this is why I say "INSIST!".... in a very, relaxed, casual way of course... but why give up? Manouver yourself into a place where you can say" hey look, it's just thetwo of us... let's go grab a drink, coffee, etc...." What do you have to lose? Certainly not her friendship if you are polite and respectful in your insistance.... girls love to have an eager guy around... it makes us feel special and attractive lol :P
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RHP User
16 years ago
Cazboy... Sophie is pure inspiration. This advice is absolutely spot on. Plus... you now have your friend exactly where you want her... she will eventually change jobs and with that goes her current excuse. :p Also, you don't really want to date a woman so close to your ex girlfriend mate... it would be awkward to work with someone's ex. Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
the ex thing sounds pretty reasonable to me
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RHP User
16 years ago
It's definately a legit reason, just hope it's the truth and she's not using it to mask the fact that she may not be interested in me that way. I'd rather know the truth. Thinking of asking her that question when I see her next, although it could be quite a rude question to ask.
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RHP User
16 years ago
No... no... no... Cas... please don't ask her if she's using it as an excuse... that is SOOO the wrong approach to take with women... shows you doubt our word... and we get offended and then that's it.... why, why why do guys think this is ever a good thing to do?? It's not easy for guys to ask girls out but do you really think it is easy for girls to reject them either???? Yes, we don't always tell the truth... if the truth will hurt and we don't want to hurt you.... This is why I still like my idea... try again... and if she uses the same excuse, or another, well, then, at least you'll know!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Moving on from her, don't think she's right for me anyway, think I was just looking for something to cheer me up, have to find someone else now.
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RHP User
16 years ago
C_C so you got the date!!!!!!!! HER: Yeah, sure,when!? ( Yes,YES, when?) ME: Well, whenever your free if you like. (Wow thats a hard question. Wait a sec i'll just get my phone,hope thats got the answer.) HER: Just as friends though. ( Thought he was going to sweep me off my feet. Now he cant even pick a day. theres only 7 of them. Whats a girl gotta do to find a nice guy! ) Great, got sunday free lets say 1 or would you prefer 2. Only a suggestion. Dinner as a first date. Not my first choice ( unless of course its Scottish. Good ol'e maccas ) Why? too much pressure. To many chances for awkward silences. Limited chances for interactions. Just sitting there Not to mention cost.( do think she has to earn this ) Also may have her thinking. Hope he does'nt think i'll sleep with him because he's Just spent $$$$$$$$$$$$ Prefer to go and do something. Like go for a game of pool. Lots less pressure. Can get up close & personal Easier to show your fun side. Well C_C hope this helps. Be interested to see if the ladies agree. Or is it just me being illogical again
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey dude
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey dude, Not that I'm the subject matter expert but I would like to devise a few pieces of knowledge. I believe in this new age, a date is no longer a traditional sit down meal and drink. It can be but I tend to reserve those for girl I am really serious with. If a girl is deserving of my time that is, and I'll only know after scrutinising her through casual dates. In my mind a date is a 2 min drink at the bar. A date is the interaction between the two of you, where you access the other person's potential. So by definition a date is anything.... get my drift. Just analysising your conversation, it seems you're a confident person and you just need to convey it better. you're positive trait is you think before you leap. (not a common trait in a male. use it wisely ) By improving the above two, dude you're sure to find the person you're looking for. GOOD LUCK!
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