M29
Being young, inexperienced and not the best body
November 29 2018
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
Patience my young padawan. Women are spoiled for choice here. The ones that are real anyway. Quite a lot of fakes on any dating site and this place is no exception. Stay committed to your goals of weight loss and training and maybe go to a swingers club if you really want to meet real people that are interested in sex.
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RHP User
7 years ago
...Put yourself in the shoes of a potential female meet for a moment.Honestly, I think the prospect of teaching a virgin about sex probably isn't high on the "want to do" lists of most.Most people have busy lives these days...and I imagine that plenty are on here because their time is precious, and don't want to beat around the bush too much. Particularly with a totally inexperienced experience. Maybe you'd do better asking someone out in a more conventional scenario...from work or something.Or you could hire the services of an escort for starters.I don't think that male virginity is seen as some precious flower that women are lining up to pluck, unfortunately.Sorry.
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RHP User
7 years ago
How about remove the focus on the being a virgin part. How about stop expecting others to give you experience. How about stop putting the emphasis on the way you look when you describe yourself. How about not implying you are more mature and a better conversationalist than those who are older than you. Your profile has to sell you, from what I can see of it there’s nothing there that’s advertising yourself very well and if this is the way you come across in messages then yes you’ll get a lot of good luck on your journeys. I’m not saying don’t tell people you aren’t a virgin but it’s the way you approach it and when. There’s not much in your profile or what you’ve said in your OP to describe you aside from the fact you are a virgin and don’t think you have a good body - which kind of implies you unwittingly are putting the emphasis on you not having the best body... Tweak the profile, consider what you want from a person and what you’re putting into your profile to attract that person and the content of any subsequent messages.
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RHP User
7 years ago
It’s all in your head. That’s where the “problem” and your solution is to be found The issue is not your body.... don’t think like the typical gym rat who thinks that through controlling your body you can control other people’s behaviour towards you It’s your belief structure that’s the issue Focus on being interested in others and interesting TO others, dial up your masculinity a little and create opportunity for yourself for people to enjoy being around you
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Its not your weight or age which you seem to use as a bit of a crutch. For me, the lack of self confidence would be an instant turn off. I've been the "Mrs Robinson" for a few young first timers and it can be a great deal of pressure. Teaching another and "holding their hand" through the basics was not something I enjoyed, really detracted from any form of pleasure for me. So maybe the women you contact feel the same? Afterall..... what exactly are you offering your potential lover?
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RHP User
7 years ago
When you read your thread...how does it make you feel??
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Rockoutwithyour
7 years ago
It must be tough being a virgin on here. I didn’t lose my virginity early either. I did lose it with a friend and not someone I met online. To be honest I’ve been a member for a lot longer than a year and never met anyone here. So I would advise making more of your real world interactions and not rely on a site like this to offer up a golden opportunity. Put yourself in a position to interact with people. Read books like How to Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It’s a great resource for anyone who is interested in making more real connections. I can relate to being your age with body image issues too. I weighed a lot more than I do now. You have height on your side though. You might be able to combine goals by getting involved in active mixed interests groups, like many sports, theatre, karaoke, group dancing. There is some good feedback in the other comments too. Real talk tho, be willing to lean/rock out of a conversation and don’t open your eyes too wide when talking to people, freaks them out ;) lol
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RHP User
7 years ago
The thing is, when I first joined this site, I was so positive, always just trying to 'sell' myself, and in my opinion, doing good at it. Telling women what I'm into, my life experiences etc. But always, women after women, I'm told that my age is a problem, that I could 'be your mother', it seemed to always be the same. In fact, when I message a women being completely honest, and explaining how I feel negatively about my body etc. I've had Waaaaay more women actually talk to me. I'm also not trying to say that I'm more mature than those older than me, that would be ridiculous to say. I'm used to explaining how mature I am, literally because my age is always something that comes up. Majority of the women on this site view the message, view my profile, and don't even reply. So I just got sick of that, and started changing how I message a woman. Being the sweet, kind young guy trying to look for some casual Nsa fun never EVER worked. I now am forced to message women explaining that I know what I am. I just don't understand why sex to people on the site is not a massive deal, it's just some fun, but then when someone with no experience who wants to learn, is so frowned upon. It seems like if I lied and said I had all this experience, I'd get way more hits. It's a similar situation to trying to get a job, but you can't get an interview because you don't have experience lol. It seems like I'm just stuck in a paradox
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RHP User
7 years ago
And @fatfunfiesty, obviously without having sex I can't predict exactly what I can offer. But I'm sensual, caring, gentle and relaxing. I feel as though I could also turn on a super fast and rough side too. Slow, pleasuring and intimate sex is definitely what I'd be interested in, but fast and fiesty rough sex is also something I'd love to be able to do in waves if that's what the woman is into. They say porn is nothing like real sex, but I mean, it does teach the basics in a way. Also, I'd also love to just go down on a woman for hours just learning how to make a woman tick :) surely that part couldn't be bad for any woman, if you're receiving head, and telling a guy what/ how to do it, it must be amazing. I'm basically up to being a ragdoll for a mature woman to use for pleasure basically
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nightingale8
7 years ago
Somewhere out there will be a lady wanting a "rag doll" though I guarantee she's a rare find 😬😬 Your last post says volumes about what you don't yet understand. Sure you need some basic physical attraction but seduction is about the mind. You're a long way off. If you're not having luck in real life then think of the reasons why it's not working out for you. An honest look will give you the answer.
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Disagree. Porn does NOT teach the basics, just teaches theatrics and imparts a subjective view of sex with unrealistic expectations for the novice such as yourself. And as for your idea that "going down on a woman for hours with her instructing you all the way must be amazing".... that's nightmare material for me. I could think of nothing worse and its far from amazing. Have you ever considering a paid escort, they're professional, they're experts in their field and they'd have the patient and nouse to guide you through.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Your last response painted an interesting picture. These women are messaging (assuming they’re women, that is)..... but they’re offering you therapy..... not company leading to sex Again I say your attitude and behaviour is leading to you effectively sabotaging yourself You’re also relying on this site to “fix” your situation. That’s a low-sum-gain position you are putting yourself into But all is not lost IF you’re messaging and getting replies, you can at least learn how to message more effectively..... but that must go hand in hand with working on your belief of yourself, and your broader attitude
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
On the virgin but but that beside the point. Old angle by the way..... Guys come here thinking its wall to wall sex. And even the losers will be pushing them away. If you cant get a fuck in the outside world and have trouble communicating with women then this is not your place for a sympathy root. Good luck though
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RHP User
7 years ago
I would've thought saying you're a virgin as a male on RHP would be a death-knell Annie. Or does it actually work? 🤔
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' On the virgin but but that beside the point. Old angle by the way..... Guys come here thinking its wall to wall sex. And even the losers will be pushing them away. If you cant get a fuck in the outside world and have trouble communicating with women then this is not your place for a sympathy root. Good luck though If you think I'm lying about being a virgin, and I've publicly posted on this forum that literally everyone can see, and everyone is 100% against it, then I really don't see how you think this is a tactic to get a 'sympathy' root. And for everyone else saying my attitude is wrong, I am fully confused as no one is actually telling me what I'm doing wrong. The word 'ragdoll' was a poor choice in words. I just meant I can be a guy that does anything, sorry for your misunderstanding. I don't feel as though making this post is putting me into a low-sum gain position. If people can't ask for help/ advice on a sex site, about sex, then I wouldn't really be on this site for much longer, because when it comes down to it, I haven't changed my ways at all, and have met 1 woman from another similar site, in which I received way more replies, but decided to stem out and check this site out. Ultimately I wanted to ask for advice before I skidaddle off back to the other site. Just had some real bad luck on this site so far.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Mate... Comparing this site to the success you have on other sites is silly. It’s like walking into a different pub other than your local and asking “how come people don’t know me??” Keep walking your own path and stop worrying so much about small stuff like meeting a pletherer of women wherever you go....
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nightingale8
7 years ago
Pro tip: if you ask a question be prepared to hear the answers, reflect, and accept graciously. Ask more questions if you need. I'm feeling generous today. "Successful" ones on here will have a formula that works for them but there is no step by step formula that will work everyone. If you really need a formulaic approach to get you started then try a PUA manual or coach. Personally I find that stuff a bit misogynistic and toxic that will lead men to objectifying women and most of all missing out on a satisfying dynamic. Rules Put out the message bait but let her come to you. E.g. please get in touch if you're interested. Simple. Show interest in her as a person not just her tits. E.g. say something about her profile that you have read! Always take no, show respect, and wish her well. If she wants you she will come back to you. Your reply says volumes about you. Don't take yourself so seriously and let others make fun of you. Women are excellent at sniffing out insecurity. Take a look at your own attitude and question your own assumptions. E.g "mature" women don't want to sexually coach boys who remind them of taking care of their sons. Ew. You need to offer a sexy, friendly experience. Don't be a tight arse. If you want to be coached, pay for a professional. And later be prepared to pay for everything at dates. She'll let you know if she wants to pay. Make your intentions clear physically and verbally. Make her feel valued, respected, interesting, and sexy. In that order. Sorry boys. Giving away the game.
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countrytouch82
7 years ago
Unfortunately once you are past a certain age (which is getting lower and lower these days, perhaps 18 or below), as a virgin, it will be very difficult to find another who is fully understanding of your situation, enough to want to go through with it with you. The best candidates are either an escort, or another virgin. I'm with alteredcarbon - the fact is, mentioning you are a virgin might seem the best, as the old adage says honesty is the best policy, however only someone you are dating who you have already have a strong bond with, will not run when they hear that information. Talk with middle age virgins online, and no, virginity is NOT a method to score you sympathy sex, so I take it you are being honest. And certainly on this site, with the high male to female profile ratio, even experienced, respectful and confident men can find it hard, and with those choices especially in a capital city, it will be very hard to find someone who will choose you over all the other options. However, there is something you can possibly build on. Firstly, many people's first times have been quite forgettable experiences. Many young, niave, perhaps under the influence, over too quickly, etc etc, just to get it "over and done with". While you might consider yourself old for a virgin, you are now going into an age where you can experience sex for the first time as possibly a mature, aware, self-educated adult. So you can do things to make it much more memorable for the other person, when it happens. These things will also help you to interact socially and become more confident in intimate situations. Read some books on intimacy and sensual touch. Take a short massage course. Take some beginner dancing lessons. Find someone to take some other photos of yourself (if you don't want to show your face yet, just a back shot of you looking relaxed at the beach etc is fine). A camera with a self timer will also do similar. Mention how you value women and that you have obviously not slept with some drunk from the local tavern, you are seeking something more substantial. Think about how you want your first time sex to be. Adult movies can show you some things, but only if you are watching the videos of 1 on 1, showing a lot of kissing and intimacy and foreplay, laughing, tenderness. Remember, many real guys have lots of experience, but still retain rather shitty behaviour and attitudes and selfish sexual habits towards women. Write some more on your profile/s to show you are not one of these guys. You already know that some other adult communities are more understanding, so yes, be involved in that other social networking where you can.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'nightingale8' Rules Put out the message bait but let her come to you. E.g. please get in touch if you're interested. Simple. Show interest in her as a person not just her tits. E.g. say something about her profile that you have read! Always take no, show respect, and wish her well. If she wants you she will come back to you. Your reply says volumes about you. Don't take yourself so seriously and let others make fun of you. Women are excellent at sniffing out insecurity. Take a look at your own attitude and question your own assumptions. E.g "mature" women don't want to sexually coach boys who remind them of taking care of their sons. Ew. You need to offer a sexy, friendly experience. Don't be a tight arse. If you want to be coached, pay for a professional. And later be prepared to pay for everything at dates. She'll let you know if she wants to pay. Make your intentions clear physically and verbally. Make her feel valued, respected, interesting, and sexy. In that order. Sorry boys. Giving away the game.Yeah, no worries. You're only giving it away for the boys. The grown-ups will have figured out the rules.
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MsJonesy
7 years ago
I have no expectation that anything will be bought for me on a date/meet. I am an independent woman, why on earth would I ever expect a man to pay for me? It is an old dashioned double standard which I don't think applies to this current world.
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