Bisexual / straight partners in a relationship

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  SpicyKale

  6 years ago

  Great question and I'll give the shortish answer to keep myself out of trouble The only difference between the "mixed" couples the OP has described is social acceptance. Anecdotally it looks like it's changing with the generation younger than us... I bloody hope it is. As for your question about straight couples and mixed couples, I'll answer that from the position of the couple with a bi guy in it. We always hesitate before contacting couples with straight guys. Not because we're only looking for bi guys, rather that we're worried about the potential negative reply. Even when we've come across straight profiles that we have a stack in common with, we'll still hesitate... that's social conditioning for you 😐 Reverse the setup with a couple with a bi wife contacting a straight couple, I wonder if they'd have the same fear. Maybe it's just us that thinks this way and it's down to our insecurities? Love to hear others thoughts in the same position.

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  ...people is really not subject to public scrutiny. If you are happy and it works for you, consider yourselves among the more fortunate. How or when you open the door to others is a process of selection that you own so enjoy that too. I doubt that anyone will ever know anyone modus in toto nor do they need to...we are all unique and similar yet simple and complex. Enjoy life being you and the rest...doesn't really matter, does it? ʗɱ

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  SpicyKale

  6 years ago

  ChasingMidnight In the vanilla world I think you're completely correct... in RHP land where you're putting yourself out there in a profile for others to work out if there might be an interest, maybe not. But if you're not honest in your description and interests, it certainly makes finding what tickles you a damn sight harder. 😊

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  If a couple we meet has a bi sexual male. I think it's important that you read people's profiles tho as some will explain exactly what they want, if they're looking for another couple with a bisexual male or if they're happy to play straight.

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  JohnAnn2227

  6 years ago

  I am bisexual whereas John is heterosexual (but has become a lot more comfortable with male touch over our years of swinging). Swinging isn't just for us to have sex and fun with others, it is also an important way for me to satisfy my bisexual urges. Over the years I have dated girls where John has not been involved sexually with. He understands my needs and fully supports me. Amongst our swinging friends this is easy as all of the girls are bi. If we are meeting new couples though, the lady has to be bi or we don't meet up. We have had a few unfortunate experiences where the husband was pushing the wife into her first bi experience and she freaked out during it. Not a great experience for her or me.We have played with couples who are both bi but we are just up front about what John is comfortable with and limits have been respected. He is comfortable with handjobs and understands that body contact is impossible to avoid in 4somes, orgies etc. He has even received a few blowjobs while the wife has been on his face. He does not want to give a blowjob (despite it being a fantasy of mine) and I respect his comfort levels.As with anything in a relationship if you communicate successfully most things are possible.Ann & John

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  yep_its_me

  6 years ago

  Thanks SpicyKale, I enjoyed reading your thoughts . Me, so readers can understand a bit more about me. As a bisexual male in an open relationship boarding on polyamory, with a straight female, our communication regarding my activities be it with other males, females or couples is open. My partner excepts me and all my kinks. She doesn't want to participate in some of my activities so she is happy for me to satisfy my urges. Some she enjoys exploring with me, others, she allows me to explore alone, When I'm looking to play, I generally look for a bi male be it single or in a couple formate, but when it comes to women, It's less of a concern as I'm finding I'm more looking for a lot more common kinks, like B n D, etc. As I've met straight females on here over the years and connected with them on multiple levels. I understand that for them, it wasn't an issue that I'm Bi. Being open about who you are may not be important to some as its just sex, but for me and i imagine others, it's more about trusting the people who you invite into your domain. I don't like being deceived, thinking someone is Bisexual yet their profile indicates they are straight. I've found over the years, be it as a single guy or as a couple on here, that bisexual or experimental guys are more reliable and playful. More relaxed with others around. Has this been the case for others or is it just how things worked out for me or us? Also, interested to hear from Straight guys, do you avoid couples with a bi guy and straight female over a straight guy with a Bisexual female or it doesn't matter? Thanks ChasingMidnight, yes agree, relationship between two people are not for public scrutiny, And I'm not scrutinising relationships between bisexual and straight people. I'm looking for what the general thoughts are regarding Swinging, our Red Hot Pie life styles, where people are looking for particular things not necessarily looking for bi play. Does it matter if one or both of the couple or a single is bisexual or even as a couple looking for a single to join them. I know that I'm open minded and for me and my partner, its more about the connection between everyone not their sexuality. For me it's about knowing my playmates limits and boundaries and respecting them. Thanks britandtiawan, Great feedback. And yes reading a profile is important if you want to meet people who are looking for the same things, unfortunately as we all know, lots look at pictures and the words don't get read. And then we have the profiles who say straight but in a message pronounce that they are bisexual or experimental. So it can be hard to judge if someone is what you are looking for when they don't give you a truthful base, their profile. Thanks JohnAnn Good insight into your situation. As a Bisexual guy, my partner also allows me to meet females as well, I'm non monogamous, as a lot on here are, I've been honest and up front about who I am with my partner from day 1, That's great that he allows you to satisfy your bisexuality. Yes communication is paramount in every relationship, more so in this environment. Thanks again for all your responses. Happy reading. Obviously

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  FeistyFatty

  6 years ago

  Im straight, hubby Bi. Never had any issues. Communication is key to any successful non monogamy.

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  yep_its_me

  6 years ago

  Thanks FatFunFiesty, yes i do understand that, that I'm more interested in is the thoughts about when looking at a potential playmate, does it matter to others if one person in a couple is Bisexual yet they are straight or for example, a bisexual female looking at a potential straight female/bisexual male playmates. Where her bisexuality itch may not be scratched. Like in your relationship, if you are playing with hubby would you look for a bisexual male in particular or it doesn't matter? What I've also found is that people don't necessarily disclose these details about themselves because of backlash, ramifications and it's a very personal part of someone's life. So understandable, people put straight as sexuality but actually they are as Bi as me. That makes it difficult to seek out potential playmates. My inquisitiveness is based on my past search for a partner in life as well as on here. Being Bisexual, and open about it on a few sights, the responses eere mainly positive. Even on here, I've found that a bisexual guy may not be appealing to some, as a bisexual female may not be attractive to others.

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  Im not bi at all, ( although I find other women very attractive) but my last relationship was with a bi man and a couple of my lovers were bisexual. Ive also had fwb who, after a few meets, confessed to being bi but wouldnt tell anyone because, as Yep-its-me says, they feared the backlash. There seems to be an unwritten rule on here by some that bi women are hot and ultra desirable but bi men are disgusting. Its a crock of crap. We are who we are and that makes us unique. Ive seen profiles going on about the Mrs looking for other women to play with, going into fine details, then finishing off with "NO BI MALES...YOU WILL BE BLOCKED" , as though they are social outcasts. If I met someone and we clicked, his sexual orientation wouldnt be an issue. It hasnt been in the past. Fatfunfiesty, sounds like you have a great relationship.

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  FeistyFatty

  6 years ago

  Gotcha.... well for us, when we're having MMF threesomes etc, we only ever communicate with Bi men. Thats MY choice though and when we have played with straight men previously I found it kind of boring not seeing any man on man action and I don't like being the centre of attention. When choosing a lover just for myself, I don't care if he's Bi or straight.

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  Some bi men don't help themselves with their friends list. It puts me off knowing where they've been or if it appears they'll fuck any man. I also worry about whether they always use proper protection. There was a time where I actively looked for them but now want straight guys only. I don't care if I'm judged for that, I'm at an age where I don't want to take any unnecessary risks and prefer to be the centre of attention. And nope I'm not a starfish, they are well pleasured

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  yep_its_me

  6 years ago

  Thank you Kokoflamingo. I totally agree re stigma on Bisexual guys. I'm attracted to more than just the sexuality of the people I've connected with. I've have some amazing memories from engaging with both straight and bi people. But they are also open minded in that aspect. BTW. Butt pic uploaded from your forum........... some say cute, some say smooth, some say mmmm yumm. But it's just my butt. 😂 FatFunFiesty: Thank you again for your addition. I too have found that on occasions regarding bi males added to a couple in a mmf, I too am not a center of attention type and love the variety or some kink but then, each person is different. For me, Vanilla, straight play isn't boring and enjoy the mix of both world. If I've had a boring experience with someone, it's not normally repeated. 😊

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  yep_its_me

  6 years ago

  Thank you I_touch_myself, No judgement here, it's your choice, people should respect that. Re friends list, 😊 I smile as I have a variety of both friends and playmates in my list of friends. Some may be easier to pick tham others... Definitely the persons play habbits and who they may have been with definitely comes into play with me as well. I do brouse through some potential playmates friends list to get a feel for who the are either social with or intimate with. Thanks again for your input and your thoughts. 😊

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  Thank you. Finding the right people, go you 👍

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  You don’t throw baby out 👶 Because some do doesn’t mean everyone does, I’ve been to biaustralia and yes plenty of whores, but plenty of careful sensible men to. Every cohort has its average and it’s outliers. You know a substantial subset of gay men don’t do anal don’t you ?

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  yep_its_me

  6 years ago

  Thanks for your input usebi, my subject isn't related to what sexual acts are preformed or what classification you select. Be it bi, experimental or gay, I'm interested in people's thoughts about mixed relationships, bi/straight couples and how a bi female is perceived in a straight relationship compared with a bi male in the same situation. Or when a couple are looking for a play partner, what is their preference. I never have put baby in the corner, everyone has an opportunity with me, if they are what I seek. Once bitten twice shy..... minority in a majority always looks different than a minority in a minority.....I know the same applies with others in regards to not wanting to play with me because I'm openly bisexual, they have respectfully replied to me with a no thanks. I don't have the mindset of "it's because I'm bisexual) even though that's probably the reason. I respect their choice. Again thanks for your imput. Best of luck with your search.

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