M43
Boner killers and pussy driers
April 19 2019
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
A lover and I were really going at it doggy style... What he meant to say (he told me later) was "I love you pushing back into me". However he was a tiny bit distracted, and all he managed to utter was "I love you". I've never seen a guy lose his erection faster.
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RHP User
7 years ago
His mother was coming for lunch. Hugs Q
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RHP User
7 years ago
You can’t beat a good fart while getting head to kill her mood 😂😂
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Libertine001
7 years ago
I was getting hot and heavy with a woman in my car once when tap, tap, tap on the window and it was a copper telling us to move on. Needless to say I was pretty pissed with him..😠
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'The_Antichrist' You can’t beat a good fart while getting head to kill her mood 😂😂 Yes you can, a lumpy fart wins hands down.
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RHP User
7 years ago
This is the most I have ever shared but I don't care because it's hot and its funny. It was a cold, windy and rainy day. We had a cozy, candle-lit motel room. I had a calm, masculine, and in control man. And he had me, lusty and yielding. We were playing a fantasy of mine. Ropes, knickers and scissors... It was perfect. Then suddenly! 'Knock-knock' and 'housekeeping' being hollered whilst the door was being simultaneously opened to our sex-den. Big Mr.Calm/Mr.In Control hotfooted his way across the room, himself begging now, but for no housekeeping today! Oh my. It was funny. It's on my memory highlights reel. It didn't take us long to regain our composure and get back into the scene. Turns out the wind had blown the 'do not disturb' sign of the door-knob.
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RHP User
7 years ago
We awoke at the same time in a lustful daze to the gentle morning sun easing its way through the half open blinds, hands gliding over bodies scented with each others' warmth from sleep stirring kisses to the back of her neck like pinches of summer wind. Lips begin to meet, compatible bits ripen to a crescendo of erotic indulgence then Still guessing at your naked occupation. Mills & Boon novelist?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'The_Antichrist' You can’t beat a good fart while getting head to kill her mood 😂😂 I must admit I farted today while a very hot man was going down on me. Couldn't help it. Luckily neither he nor I were distracted by it!
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RHP User
7 years ago
Dutch ovens can be distracting, believe me :D
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Used deep heat instead of lube. Ms Foxy
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EarthQueen
7 years ago
It's hard to keep momentum when you are writhing in agony. It always seems to happen when you are having the most intense sex.
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sweetas_j
7 years ago
He told me he had a housemate. Which was fine. When I got there, turns out his housemate was his mum 😐
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Happened to me once. The guy I was with in the car, was a cop. 😇 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Solitary.... Go search on YouTube Wilfred fart scene ;)
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RHP User
7 years ago
Wonder if an "I love you" popped (or was blown) into his mind?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting '0z_boy' We awoke at the same time in a lustful daze to the gentle morning sun easing its way through the half open blinds, hands gliding over bodies scented with each others' warmth from sleep stirring kisses to the back of her neck like pinches of summer wind. Lips begin to meet, compatible bits ripen to a crescendo of erotic indulgence then Still guessing at your naked occupation. Mills & Boon novelist? Naked novelist?...............................................................nope! What's with the bowel troubles (again!) good sir!?
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RHP User
7 years ago
I dont really have bowel problems I was just making that stuff up the other week to be funny :D Now back on topic! We awoke at the same time in a lustful daze blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah compatible bits ripen to a crescendo of erotic indulgence then BBBAAARRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!! Faaaaaaaaark I think I just sharted :S Makes a mercy dash to the lavatory!🏃
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RHP User
7 years ago
Having her “ex” boyfriend come over unannounced certainly killed a mood 🤣
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'le_moko' Wonder if an "I love you" popped (or was blown) into his mind? I think the word you were looking for is "wafted" :D "A lover and I were really going at it doggy style... I love you "wafting" back into me" mmmmmm |Now that would be devotion, true doggy fashion, sniffing butts first, haha
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Forus1234
7 years ago
The sounds of a killer possum... Trying to escape our full house of people for holidays, thought we’d slip over into the bushes in the dark for a quickie, well....we couldn’t get our pants up quick enough! We guess the possum didn’t like us in his playground!
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SSExplorer
7 years ago
Speaking of grunting.... nothing like a noisy koala outside your window to dampen the mood, they are the ugliest sounding beast on earth!!!
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RHP User
7 years ago
they are the ugliest sounding beast on earth!!! you havent heard "Macca" me old footy coach yodelling out of the back window of a mini bus at 4am though :S
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
lmao @ sexyas mine is the dog howling barking and carrying on thinking mrs b is in trouble with all the noises comeing from the bedroom ,🤬
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RHP User
7 years ago
A child or other family member trying to enter the place where you are trying to be romantic.
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
1. Going at it doggie style with a woman. Sound of the front door opening. Her brother. He yells out, " What's the electricians car doing in the driveway. Thought he'd be finished by now" 2. When you thought you had properly douched but midsession, that mystery half litre of water decides it's time to exit
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MsJonesy
7 years ago
Suggestion (bordering on nagging sometimes) from some males, that's its okay not to use condoms because "he has had a vasectomy". Dude, are you for real? Discussed and insisted on prior to getting to the shagging, bringing it up again in the middle of foreplay isn't going to change my mind. Give it a rest. In fact, don't let the door hit you in the back when I boot you out.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Solitary... frikkin hilarious!
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RHP User
7 years ago
When she jumps on too quick before suitably aroused and splits your foreskin and blood pours down your thigh!! 😫 When you go down on your girl to find toilet paper stuck in her fanny flaps!! 😂😂
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bonefide
7 years ago
When you go down on your girl to find toilet paper stuck in her fanny flaps!! That comment just ruin the weekend.
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