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RHP

RHP User

M60 F54

Bound to each other

December 31 2016

intimate

women

I come here to read, lately even more than I wish, as it obviously can be addictive. You are all people to me. As this year collapses into a basket of memories, I thought I could write this thread for and about all the women and their friendships. I love and respect men. They inspire me to achieve things in life, but they don't seem to understand. We need other women. Recently I overheard a man say, “Yeah, well, you get two women together and it’s like bitch central.” It made me realize how much people diminish the strength of female friendship, which is usually dismissed as meaningless or be re-written as a story of competition. The other day I have met three women who came to meet me. The three friends came in together, smiling. One of them is seriously sick. The other two had learned to understand the other’s few words; they wiped her face, helped her eat and made her laugh. This was a snapshot of what my own deep friendships could lead to. I saw, on that afternoon, that it’s possible to transcend the limits of your skin in a friendship. That a friend can take you out of the boxes you’ve made for yourself and burn them. This kind of friendship is not a frivolous connection, a supplementary relationship to the ones we’re taught and told are primary – spouses, children, parents. Support, salvation, transformation, life: this is what women give to one another when they are true friends. One friend like that is a treasure. I am sure men have such friendships as well. Please share your thoughts and your stories. (Ms)

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    That women tend to have more intense emotional relationships with their friends than men do. My close female friends have been incredibly supportive of me in what has been a tough year. But people change,,two long term fiendships,both of sixteen years duration ended a few years ago...I could not be what they wanted in their life or they in mine. Q

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Need other women, and I am an example of this. i do not know why but i do not get on with women at all i feel better hanging out with guys i can be one of them i know how to talk to them but when it comes to women i just do not know how to talk to them please take this in a nice way that my story ps a guy friend can give you the same in a really friends ship to be there for you in any way any way that just me

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    my best friends are women, a couple are lovers. I would welcome more of both.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    With my best friend of 21 years. It's been over 4 years since I've seen her due to various circumstances. Not matter how our lives have changed, we've always had our connection. The funny thing is we hardly have anything in common. But that's also been the beauty of it. Our friendship isn't reliant on where we are in our lives, our location or our interests. We have been through every important life change together. I have a few very close girlfriends I would literally walk through fire for. They know everything about me that can put be into words and then some. There's no money that could replace these strong, courageous and beautiful women. Most real friendships come and go, so I feel privileged that despite them knowing all of my flaws and shortcomings, they love me regardless.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Annoying phone

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I'm the same. I don't trust women. And guys are easy going, cruisy, don't usually get into gossip, well most. Always felt comfortable around and enjoyed the company of men, right from when I was young. I don't need or want female friends. Having said that, I sometimes stumble across them, few chicks at the moment I know are awesome, but I usually avoid friends of my own gender. Everyone is different. Just not for me. I'm a private person off here and do not like being gossiped about or bitchy behavior, and that seems to come from most women, or those they associate with, which can be just as damaging. I have a few male friends who I can tell anything, and completely trust them. It is what it is and I don't want it any other way. 100% happy with my choices 😃

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I don't know what kind of women you know, but not all women are like that. My friends, male or female never gossip, as we have so many other things to do and discuss. I was always very careful with who I associate with, and perhaps demanded more from women than men. We don't meet that often, but when we do we are at ease with each other. I love my solitude.There are times when we just do things, each in our own silence. Intimacy and loneliness are forever wrapped together in life. Intimacy involves two people who are capable of relating to each other in supportive and helpful ways. Each of them is secure enough to share his or her wholeness with the other. My husband is still my most intimate friend, and always will be, but I see other people for who they are. Perhaps what you are looking for is one man that can fill that place, but that could be preventing you to see women as individuals and not as competition.(Ms)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Can men and women just be friends? Of course they can but I do think there is another dimension to the friendships between women. I don't have a lot of close friends,my male housemate has become one but our friendship is different to my friendships with women. There are women of course who are bitchy,jealous etc but there are also those jewels who are not.Q

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    ....but rather true true friendship and over time comes love. I have both female and male friends that I love and respect for who they are...sex has nothing to do with it. End of story.

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  • Home_Eric

    Home_Eric

    9 years ago

    But on the whole I think that it happens with much less frequency than it does for women. I am very envious of female friendships in that respect... girls, what you can have with each other is wonderful, and I only have one male friendship that approximates it. Of course - I don't speak for all men.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Yes this is the big question or thought. There can be grey areas. No harm in having sex with your friends occasionally is there? 😯

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    A close male friend.We were colleagues.became lovers,I became his boss,we remainder good friends .He got married,I had a child and when his wife was pregnant we had lots of conversations about childbirth and children. We lost touch when I went to live in California ,on my return I found out that he had died. He was so young and full of life,I still miss him. Q

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  • Home_Eric

    Home_Eric

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Qefenta1' A close male friend.We were colleagues.became lovers,I became his boss,we remainder good friends .He got married,I had a child and when his wife was pregnant we had lots of conversations about childbirth and children. We lost touch when I went to live in California ,on my return I found out that he had died. He was so young and full of life,I still miss him. Q That's a very touching story Q. It sounds like you were very good to each other while you were in each other's lives.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    and perhaps what I'm looking for is 'one man to fill that space' 😂😂😂 Words fail me. I don't want one man, not ever, sorry to disappoint you 😀 not everyone wants traditional, whatever works for you is fine. Happy for you but please don't try to analyze me, I find it offensive. You're way off, not even close

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Discuss your female friends or your need for them, all you like. I have zero interest in having female friends and since that is being judged, I'll leave you to it. Thank you for reminding me why I have male friends, and why I trust them, no sly calculated behavior from them 😉

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Being confident and secure in yourself, means you don't have to use other people as a crutch. It's not required or wanted, simple as that 😃

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    So my first reply has dissolved into dust. Let's discuss 'competition'. By it's very definition, competition is when you're both vying or contending for something or someone, the intention being to win that thing/event or person (think a tennis match lol). So where is the place for that in the swinging scene? What are you competing for? So a couple of examples. Let's say you and I turn up at a swingers party. Do you consider me competition? Because I wouldn't consider you competition, nor anyone else. We can all enjoy the same people. Anyone who worries about the competition, shouldn't be swinging. That isn't the right head space and although I understand I can be intimidating, particularly when I consider any man fair game, attached or not, competition within the swinging scene? I fuck him, you fuck him, someone else the next day, or the same night, or all together. We are not vying for something that the other can't have. Do you understand that? I find it sad that so many women are not really secure in themselves, and even think that way. My 2 cents 😃

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Hi Everyone, Happy new year! I hope it was fabulous.... I've had such a good start to 2017 I think I should sleep or hide for the rest of it so nothing can mess this year up.. lol I just want to say I really value each and every one of my friends- they have added to my life in so many ways whether they be fem, masc. or trans.... my life and thinking would be so different without each of them. I think that judging people's friendship by their sex is not something I would ever do- each person is different and has so much to offer. I hope you all have a great 2017 Xx Miss L.Ed. ❤️

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Q I am sorry to hear about your loss, but as I can see it doesn't stop you from being open. There’s always the risk—will I get hurt? But the benefits of intimate friendship are so many, that we simply can’t afford not to try. Summer, I know what you mean. Some of my friends live overseas now, so I do understand when you say you go mental when you can't help. Home Eric CM and Hunk, I agree, people can be friends regardless of gender...I guess it's more if that person opens and makes themselves vulnerable in front of you. Soft, I agree when we leave our friend's presence, we feel better than we came. I touch, I am sorry if you sensed anything but honest care. I guess no explanation is necessary for your friends, and none is adequate for those who are not. Red, I do understand when you say you don't know with women. IMHO the trick could be to notice those who don't concern themselves with trivial things, and be open to those you feel you could have something in common. Thank you L.Ed. for your wishes (don't hide as it can get better with time) and may this 2017 be, to all of you, what you wish it to be...but share your smiles

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    On and off RHP. I couldnt be without them. They are there for all times...good and bad. They make me smile and astound me with their kindness. I also have male friends but I have the best times with the girls. I may not be rich financially but I am when it comes to my friends. Thanks ladies.....xxx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    No explanation is necessary. Your comment was laced with judgment just because that's your preference and no doubt because it was me who posted the comment. I notice you didn't analyse redhot, no offence redhot, just no surprise that I was targeted with the analysis 😉 you also removed my freedom of speech, my right to reply, by removing my comment. Poor form. I will no longer reply to your topics.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    For reminding me how happy I am with my choices. If every chick was as secure in themselves as I am, the little calculated jibes wouldn't happen 😉 just imagine a world of I_touch's 😀 there would be no competition/jealousy/carefully disguised manipulative calculated moves from 'competitive' women. The definition of jibe is to say something to make someone feel stupid/lesser/inferior. Just for those who missed it 😉

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Just another j m

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  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    9 years ago

    I call them Twin Flames. It's different to having a soul mate. You'll know if you have experienced one. I have several (long term) friendship with women and men whom I have this type of relationship with. The bonds we have are incredible and so strong. It's not forced, or anything like that. It's just so natural, enhancing and like no other love. If anything was/were to happen, my soul would be completely destroyed and so would theirs. The only way to describe it is like this.... each of our souls are split into two halves. The half souls are joined as one, because that love bond grows. It's strange, unique and special. For me, I am meant to be with that person. It doesn't happen all the time, it just does and works and isinever never questioned. We just know and feel it. Ms Foxy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I have never said I had many friends like that. I used to be like Red, but was just lucky to have met some great women with whom I have many things in common, and who are warm and open human beings. I saw one French film recently, called "Blue is the warmest colour" and it completely changed my view of people who fall in love with the same gender. I am straight and never felt any attraction towards women, but I am curious and would be interested to know how those women who are gay or even bi view friendships with other women. Do you tell your female friends about your sexual orientation, and if you did what was their reaction? Please, do not find my question in any way as a show of disrespect. (MS)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I like all sexes- I go through phases of being attracted to different sexes but would classify myself as panromantic demisexual - meaning my sexual arousal is pretty much related to connection rather than physicality... I do not tell my normal life gfs about this side of me- because I know they will not understand and treat me with caution- but we have so many other commonalities sex is not a thing i would discuss with them anyway. But I think that is why I have made so many close friends on here because they accept that part of me as well and that is fairly rare and I value it. I hope that makes some sort of sense! Xx Miss L.Ed.

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  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    9 years ago

    Katie and I have been together for 28yrs (fck I'm getting old!!) Then Trace 26yrs and Maz only 19yrs WOW! That long!! We've seen each other through EVERYTHING, have fought with me, hated me and vice versa, seen me through pregnancy, homelessness, a six figure income to pennilessness, domestic violence, the loss of other friends we loved, illness, infidelity and betrayal. BUT we've also shared that thought that no matter when, where or how we can laugh or cry hysterically together, pick up the phone and be together. We aren't any different in each other's eyes now to when we were kids, we'll not much anyway. Thanks Ms OP Cat n Hatter....my mum just nursed my Dad's sister until she passed, her own sisters look to her for strength, I don't know where Mum gets hers from but it seems eternal. Their male and female friends all draw comfort from her in good and bad times. Katie is now her Mothers carer and though Ma has slowed down a lot that woman is still awe inspiring and also one I consider my girlfriend though there's a clear generation gap. I have male friends I consider as close to me as my girlfriends. There are women here I've only known a short time but believe in those friendships too because of the bond forged in the sandpit and upon meeting. I don't view my girlfriends as competition....simply because they aren't; they ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!! They are my mates, the people I can be completely me and flawless crazy mad around and they still love me. I wouldn't dream of devaluing them by grading them on a stupid competitive scale. Self assuredness ITM doesn't require competition and should be encouraged in those so they too can ooze awesomeness. I've always said I don't compete....no need, if he's not into me than someone who deserves me can have a go. Yes Q women do have a more emotional bond with their girlfriends. xx though a few of the men I know have similar they just show it through bum touching and punches on the shoulder or taking the piss. I get the not getting on with women thing, most of us do; maybe that's why when we find a girlfriend she's worth holding onto, because I'll never know when she might need me to help her through a tough time, make her laugh, help her eat a meal, share a smile and remind her that no matter what.....I love her/him without reservation and without judgement ~ Indy because as Kate says....not everyone's going to like you, some people are just assholes. And who else BUT a true girlfriend would back you up like that?

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  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    9 years ago

    My friends don't judge me for my weird proclivities they just roll their eyes and laugh then want to know all about whatever craziness I'm up to.....maybe they consider that an endearing trait? 🤔

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