F56

Cancelling dates via text

October 30 2009

Here is a topic I have wanted to post for a while. What are your views on cancelling a date whether first date or FWB via text and when is it acceptable to do so? To me it lacks manners and respect for someone and only in some circumstances is it acceptable. Here are my thoughts: Texting: Texting is only acceptable if you are giving advance warning such as a week before, depends on the circumstances of the person i.e you know they are organising babysitters, work schedules etc so that is just an average time and may be that more or less notice may be required. Texting is acceptable with little notice if it was more of a casual catchup like going to an event or party. eg seeya at .....party Saturday. Well unless you are the guest of honour or an important component of the party like your the caterer. - Same day notice Texting is acceptable if you have lost ya voice but ya better have a medical certificate hehe. Texting is acceptable if the date was not confirmed, yanno if your free on Saturday lets go to the movies. You Must Call the Person: If they are relying on you such as for a lift, bringing something that is needed. 2 days notice. If they are organising something such as cooking dinner, organising a baby sitter, have reservations booked, etc. 2 days notice. Of course if they have bought tickets or something similar more time may be required so they can find a replacement. If you are vital to the situation eg making up the certain numbers of a dinner party. Weeks notice. If you are sick. If you have the flu and you know you may not make it give them warning in advance. 2 days. If you got sick the same day the next one applies. If they have specifically requested that you call if you can not make it. Always if you are cancelling within 24 hours. It's manners!!!!! The maybe text maybe call pile: In an emergency both may apply, I think it would be dependent on how believable an excuse may seem. It is quicker to call even if under stress and at least people can tell that your situation is real. But of course sometimes such as a death or accident there is emotion and that is understandable, but can cause worry with your friends. So guess play it as required. If you are running out of credit or in bad service area. Well there are phone boxes and ya can get them to call you back as well. Really good FWB may except both. Of course there will always be exceptions to the rule. Tis just my guide and will depend on peoples circumstances. But I just think it is basic manners that most forget these days, regardless it is always nicer to call when cancelling I think when you can. The other thing is that people forget that some service providers do not send texts immediately I have received texts from people a day after they sent them, they can get lost, or ya can stuff up and send it to the wrong person. It's good to ensure that they are aware that you have cancelled. You could be faced with a very angry person, next time you call, and I dont think they will believe "but I did text you" excuse. So what are your thoughts on the subject? Do you think these are fair timeframes? xx Miss Honey xx <<< having a happy day

Comments

RHP User

16 years ago

Hi Miss Honey, read this with interest. I am currently in a "sexy friendship" with another couple and although we are friends too and don't just hook up for sex, we all three have problems confirming times and dates to meet. Yes, we could call because there is nothing stopping us but we just prefer to text, also when problems arise. Recent example (2 hours ago): text from me "hey guys, up to anything naughty?" text from them "no, we're waiting for you to get naughty with! How about Sunday night?" text from me "that would be a YES at the mo. Will have to confirm on Sunday tho" text from them "Great, no prob. Let us know!" I'll text them sometime on Sunday morning to confirm one way or the other so they can make other plans and I feel that's enough notice because I warned them about it. However, if any other problems arose later on, I'd probably still text rather than call. I'd feel guilty no matter what anyway, call or no call. It's never nice to have to cancel at the last minute. I think if everyone agrees on what's acceptable and what isn't, texting to confirm or cancel is fine. I use texts a lot (too much??) :P

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

Meah, I hate rules. I never play by the rules. I admire entropy and chaos. I appreciate that in normal circumstances a phone call is the only way to go..... however, my fb and I always text... rarely call for anything. It really depends on the circumstances of the people involved. It's difficult to be discrete when in a public place or at work when on a telephone saying stuff like "but why can't you come over and spank my bare bottom with your big cock/paddle/big daddy dildo?" Hugs Gaz

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

LMFAO Trishl, Jeese! Maybe you should try to make the knocknbacks a little less public.. hehe. I mean,, whatever happend to never kiss and tell! Anyway... who is it this time? I bet it's Tammy. He's always sneaking in behind my back. :p Until the next time, Hugs Gazza

reply

like
tamworthguy46

16 years ago

trishl.....didn't you see my smoke signals saying * don't tell Gaz * ? Ummn Sorry Gaz.......But trishl is so freakin hot !......you would have, and have done the same thing to me ! Anyway I have to go and get ready now.....book the horse drawn caraige, dinner,and Motel room etc.

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

Damn that Tamworthguy and his habitual filandering. I bet he's using the same room.... I thought it was our special room, Tammy, just for the boyz... you know! Now it's gonna get girl germs. She's a squirter you know. I hope you're satisfied! Gaz <<< Don't forget to ask for permission to use the cam, then... and the deed of release for the ponro.

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

back to the topic at hand and no not refurring to the hand gestures reserved for trishl, texting to cancel. Fine so long as, sufficient notice, 6 hrs. Incase of emergency i.e while your mum's dieing in hospital, its not really approriate to be cancelling an offside fling outloud (or your wife is giving birth, oh that was fun). If its unplanned.etc, NOT OK to text when, short notice, tis a precommited plan, when it cost you money i.e. concert tickets etc. When its no longer just bonking and a real relationship scenario

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

You told us that room was just for your hook ups with Kilee & I...and now we see you have landed on the Gazza Strip in that room....and now planning to take advantage of Trishl there aswell .... Is nothing sacred ???? and by the way..we didn't get the horse drawn carraige treatment either.... Pfffft

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

Actually if you read many of the complaints people have, a text would be a vast improvement on those who just do not even show up.I tend to agree that a quick call is more polite than a text but each to their own.

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

But I much prefer cancelling by way of a phone call...technology has made life and relationships so much more complicated than need be. Miss_Honey, am so with you on your post, so many people lack common courtesy or common sense these days! Not that I'm really qualified to comment on some points as I don't have a fwb, don't date or have sex for that matter :)

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

we always use text and/or messages/email lol to keep in contact... it can be hard to find the privacy to speak to people on the phone without others overhearing which can be an issue when you want to be discete... Hugs... Mrs P

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

i would prefer to speak to a person. Very rude as far as i can see!

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

I'll go further and say I have a phone phobia, nothing to do with manners hahahaha... just individual... never came across anyone who said they had a problem with the way we do things... Cheers Mrs P

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

ahm so, so sorry my sweet, but i have ta cancel our date for august 11th 2013...i hope this is enough notice, i would have rung ya, texted ya, emailed ya........butya keeps forgettin ta give me ya phone number...>>>...trudges off dejectedly...but seriously, prefer texting...cheersJose...

reply

like
RHP User

16 years ago

No Gaz they are not rules. Many people especially couples have expressed their distaste to receiving a text last minute when they are sitting at a bar waiting. WA forums had a very long thread on the subject, I am just asking what every one thinks. Not that the above will suit everyone. It is my preference due to my circumstances. I work long shifts, and on call that end up being a 16 hour day sometimes. Prefer to know well in advance so I can catch up on sleep. If I make time for someone, I ask to call well in advance where they can. Yup it would bug me if I was walking out the door to go out on a date and got texted last minute without a believable excuse, could have been used as sleep time or something else. If I have organised my work schedule for someone so I am not going to be beeped or have to leave suddenly, not too hard for them to respect my wishes of a call with as much notice as possible. If I have made the effort, I expect the same courtesy. xx Miss Honey xx <<<

reply

like
playfulminx

16 years ago

If for a first date I get a late text to cancel, that's a deal breaker. You'd have to redeem yourself magnificently before I consider a re-date. If I get a call to explain what happened and it sounds earnest enough, I'd gladly accept a raincheck.Depending on how well I get along with the person, cancelling via SMS is OK but it's almost as bad as not contacting at all in some instances.

reply

like

Cancelling dates via text

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help