F39
Casual Sex Vs. Relationship Sex.
February 18 2009
Comments
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RHP User
17 years ago
Do the two really have to be so seperated?. Very few things in life are black and white and i really don't see why sex casually or sex with different degrees of feeling, all the way up to the commitment of a relationship should be any different. Black and white are not always fun colours, they more like the extremes ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
I thought the whole point of casual sex was that there was no strings. There is no feelings, no commitment ect. You both come together for a good time and walk away. And repeat the process if its goood :P I know things arent always simple.. or black and white... But im trying to keep my question simple... and seeking some simple answers. If there are any. :P
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RHP User
17 years ago
Considering I already have MrP, you would think I have enough 'relationship sex', but I still seem to need to feel some connection to anyone we consider meeting for 'play'. I'm not sure how much of it is social conditioning/expectations for me. It makes sense that the whole point of casual sex is that there is no strings etc... but I don't believe, and I am speaking from my experience, that it is possible to get the most out of a once off. I think it makes sense for people to get to know each other to get the best out of their encounter/s.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Without connection sex is like masturbation. Sometimes great but usually just a release to get on with life. Because you have a connection doesn't mean you want to share lives - thats a relationship. If you have a connection with one person it doesn't mean you can't develop feelings for another. That is one of the problems with relationships. Funnily enough in relationships I have found sex either has too much value or too little. With casual sex there are too many feelings or too few. The more one person values sex or feelings the more the other doesn't. On thing is guaranteed however - casual sex is better than no sex at all.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I think about this alot too. I really like being "single", for lack of a better term (like it's a reference to being incomplete or something). But I do really love connecting with women intimately. I don't really want a "relationship" but I do pine for the spoils of deep intimate moments of cuddling, kissing...and the rest. I might develop feelings for a woman I see more than once but I REALLY don't want a relationship. I have had many deep feelings for many women over time and it always fades eventually. I find it helps to love yourself above all else - it's a great theory and I'm still working on it.
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RHP User
17 years ago
After being in a relationship with my hubby for nearly 12 years and finding out he cheated - i'm all for casual sex atm. one day i'll look towards a relationship (maybe) but not right now.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I am of the belief that there is a strong connection in both kinds of sex "casual" and "realtionship" sex. When you chose a casual playmate, it is generally safe to assume that either for physical or mental reasons he/she has stimulated you to the point which leads to a sexual encounter. Exactly the same is relationship sex, intially and over time you have a drawn attraction to one another that leads to lasting sex encounters. However the only 1 thing different that will separate the "casual" from the "relationship sex is the thought that you "may" or "may not" be able to have a long term emotional connection with that person. From looking at your point of view, i assume you feel more reliant upon the emotional stability rather than your ability to enjoy "casual" sex!! Personally - I too live in your side of the ball court, enjoying and giving preference to my "relationship" sex, however with an accepting partner i get the best of both worlds!! xx Mr Shy
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RHP User
17 years ago
for me casual sex is the best i am still young and want my freedom i have been in some bad relationships and i am sick and tired of the bullshit thats how i see it
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RHP User
17 years ago
I think the 'connection' is the grey area here. One night stands, ergh, no thanks... repeat performances, yes please! Cos a connection of sorts starts to develop after two or three trips around the mulberry bush with someone, and it's what you do with the connection that makes the difference. If you can keep the connection sex friend based, all good, but therein lies the hard part! ....for me anyway. It's an art I reckon, keeping it platonic. To me the best of both worlds is relationship sex with your partner AND casual sex with others with your partner :P *sigh* thank goodness for swinging! Good luck sarahboo working your connections out :)
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RHP User
17 years ago
I concur with what Mammalian and Slowhands stated. I love the connection/the intimacy, but I love being single just as much. Unfortunately, I seem to come across people who only think there's one or the other, and it's so hard to make them understand/see that there's all those shades in between. So the search goes on.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Just 1 question what is sex? been a while lol
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RHP User
17 years ago
I like the kind of sex that you refer to as relationship sex, however I don't want a relationship. LOL! Luckily I've found a girl I click with and she has a boyfriend so I get the good sex without the relationship shit. Man, that sounds really cold and harsh. LOL!
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RHP User
17 years ago
By far, casual is good to have fun by say pushing some boundrie however i always prefer a relationship while in the sack cos for some reason it feels more fullfilling. cheers
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RHP User
17 years ago
Casual sex like someone already pointed out is just something you do to get a release off. I have to agree with that comment. But I like casual sex, it suits my lifestyle. I work maybe 60+hrs a week so most of the time I don't even have time to get casual sex, let alone start a relationship.
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RHP User
17 years ago
At this stage, any sex is good sex to me! hehehe Though as said, you get that little "connection" with the relationship stuff, you can't go past that.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I really enjoy anonymous group sex. That is to meet someone in a dark gloomy place and fuk them while others fumble around and fiddle wit you in a semi public environment. I like it because it is mindless sex for the sake of sexual gratification.... you can still kiss and cuddle and lick.... I still do all the things that rev me up... but I don't know anybody... sometimes I might bump into the same person but we pretend not to know each other and go at it anyway. If I don't like what's going on, I just walk off and find someone else ... no need for apologies. That's very different to having relationship sex... in relationship sex the sex is basically the bi-product of emotional intimacy... there's sexual gratification involved.. but strongly allied to emotional intimacy. There's also emotional intimacy in a group sex environment which is truly delightful...smooching up to your lover while anonymous random people poke and prod at you both..... and also delightful is anonymous group sex environment where your "emotionally connected" lover rescues you.. by dragging you away from all the poking and prodding of anonymous people, for their own gratification. I enjoy being used like that. I will never be monogamous, but casual sex and relationship sex need not be mutually exclusive polar positions.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Well to answer this honestly, it all depends on where you are in your life i guess.... sometimes you need to just have some fun.. while ya single of course.. you can just do what ya want cos u may or may not see em again..... but when you are in a relationship.. you learn each others bodies and can have some fun... either way, its personal choice... depends what your needs are at the time lil
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RHP User
17 years ago
Casual sex is all about you. It's about you doing something because you enjoy it. You don't have to consider anyone else or do anything you don't want to do. Relationship sex is about two people and consideration of the other is always there. I think that where people have problems with causal sex, is that they can't just be selfish and enjoy themselves. I'm not using the word "selfish" here in a bad way, merely pointing out that you have to think about yourself when having casual sex, not about the other person. This doesn't mean you shouldn't give a shit about the other person, but rather leave them to worry about whether or not they are enjoying it. You have no responsibilities in casual sex: that's a good thing. And there's nothing wrong with being selfish occassionally; it can actually be quite therapeutic.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Foe me, i've been having casual sex now for about 8 or so years n LUV IT.. I do have connections with all my fuck buddy's some of which are very very good friends. Sex can be very intimate and close even with a one night stand and think it can be quite selfish and shallow when in a relationship. So dont really think the 2 can or should be seperated, sex is sex, its what u make of it at the time, not depending on the partner u have.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Casual sex is great if you have a good relationship with each other and it's all above board. Not hurting anyone else or each other.
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RHP User
17 years ago
well for me anyways i find that casual sex is exciting its all about flirting chasing and just wanting to fuck all night long.....but then there's relationship sex mmmmmmmmmm good for about six mths then it just seem to become a chior and the grass is looking greener and greener on the other side of the fence and the u find ur self hunting for hot casual stimulating sex with a complete stranger again well thats it i guess no body here's going to want me now unless its for steeeemy hot casual sex.......lol
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RHP User
17 years ago
Interesting question. Obvbioulsy having sex with somebody whom u have a strong connection wuith can be pretty damn good....i think the problem is with relationship sex is keeping it good and exciting....not letting it get stalke, which can easily happen i guess. Casual sex has its perks too, the thrill of getting it on with somebody for the first time and exploring each others bodies with no inhibitions just pure sexual energy. It's a tough one. I guess in the perfect world you could combine the best bits of both. lol
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hey boo, Ironically I think you are thinking too much about it. Sure there are obvious differences between the two but everything is different and thus has its own pros and cons. Simply let go, stop looking for a connection and enjoy the ride...excuse the pun. However if the situation doesn't feel right for you then you may need to assess if it is what you really want. Be honest with yourself and only good can come from it....again with the puns. I hope this helps in some way.
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RHP User
17 years ago
If you get gratified by the same person too regularly the water does become a little muddied and sometimes there becomes feelings toward that persons involved. Not too healthy if entertainment is the only reason you are practicing casual sex. With relationship sex, people do generally get hurt. Al
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RHP User
17 years ago
I think with casual sex if continued will turn into relationship sex more intimate and ussually one person wants a relationship which could end a good thing lol All for casual sex though
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