F109
Chances
April 19 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Cheat on me once & I'll forgive you. Cheat on me twice & you're gone ...! If there's no Honesty in the Relationship , there's no Relationship . GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Doesnt come down to a number it comes to the level of hurt
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Beneath_blueeyes'Doesnt come down to a number it comes to the level of hurt That is the best post I think I have ever read
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RHP User
13 years ago
totally depends on what the person has done xxticklish.. but why would you let someone hurt you over and over again? That is just emotional abuse .
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77'totally depends on what the person has done xxticklish.. but why would you let someone hurt you over and over again? That is just emotional abuse . have to agreee...this is what i was thinking, and when i scrolled down, it had been said... it depends..if its infidelity tho...emotional, sexual, whatever...there are NO second chances from me, as these things say..'I dont love you' very clearly.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'MisterGreen' Cheat on me once & I'll forgive you. Cheat on me twice & you're gone ...! If there's no Honesty in the Relationship , there's no Relationship . GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Everyones different but if you no longer trust someone then its pretty hard build a relationship on no trust or likewise takes a hell of a lot of effort to build upbuild it up again. The time depends on the crime.
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RHP User
13 years ago
It really depends on the individuals involved, the level of "hurt", the level of love, and many other things - including the victims ability to "forgive and forget".There is no magic number.
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Fool me once - shame on you. Fool me twice - shame on me. Life is too short to waste energy on people who do not give anything back - but love to only take.... Everyone deserves a second chance - but if it's a wasted chance then no more!
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RHP User
13 years ago
And agree with them all. However, as a normally rational and strong woman it is amazing what you can forgive. Not cheating tho. I have never (to my knowledge) had that happen to me and have never done it. So I hope it isn't something I ever experience. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts on this. Lx
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RHP User
13 years ago
None. I will never go through that again. Other "stuff" we all make mistakes with out thinking.
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RHP User
13 years ago
We don't have specifics but at the end of the day, you know your partner best.Do you think he is really sorry and will try better next time? Does he even know he hurt you. Communication is important. There could also be an underlying problem that needs to be addressed. If it is serious, counselling might help. However, if he does know he has hurt you, and takes your lack of response as license to do it again, then I do not recommend another chance.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'zu7bcv'We don't have specifics but at the end of the day, you know your partner best. Do you think he is really sorry and will try better next time? Does he even know he hurt you. Communication is important. There could also be an underlying problem that needs to be addressed. If it is serious, counselling might help. However, if he does know he has hurt you, and takes your lack of response as license to do it again, then I do not recommend another chance. I agree with you totally. I don't like playing guessing games so if someone pisses me off I will tell them exactly what they did and how I feel. I am just amazed though by the way people can hurt someone they profess to love. My ex husband used to always say "You hurt the one you love most". And that is probably very true. Because when you love someone your emotions are heightened, and little things that wouldn't normally upset you can cause untold hurt when done by your lover. I hope that makes sense. Lx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Some extraordinary things. Things I never did to hurt but which hurt anyway, because I wasn't thoughtful enough to make sure I didn't do them. Things I once would never have forgiven someone for. Being forgiven myself for unforgivable things taught me a great deal. People can grow and change from being forgiven. People do sometimes just do really awful thing unintentionally and regretfully. Good people can do bad things. Forgiveness can strengthen a bond. Most importantly it taught me that my life will be sweeter if I forgive more often.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Beneath_blueeyes' Doesnt come down to a number it comes to the level of hurt That is such a brilliant response. There is a saying time heals all wounds. Not necessarily true when someone hurts you so deep inside that part of you remembers it forever.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Each hurt is different and no one else can say how many times. Some people have a capacity to absorb the hurts and forgive which is greater than another petsons may be. I know my capacity for forgiveness is greater than many. I don't forget but I can get over the hurts more than some. There are greater hurts than infidelity and cheating. In fact, cheating is far preferable than some of the soul destroying things that can and do happen!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
I watched as the woman I once loved, fell in love with another man. I sat and watched as it destroyed me and the remainder of our marriage with jealousy and rage and hatred, but never once did I aim any of those feelings at her, but instead at him and at myself. It wasn't until I walked away that I realised the hurt it caused me.Stupid thing is, If it was to occur again, I would still try my hardest to keep it like I did all those years ago. I would forgive all, regardless of the hurt, just for a chance to have her near me. Sounds Stupid, but I believe if you care, you will forgive almost all greivances against you, but on the flip side, if it was too happen to someone close to you, you would instantly try to save them.Any
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RHP User
13 years ago
Everyone is entitled to 1, let it happen again after that.....not worthy of your pain, done. Sometimes it's not the relationship it's the idea of the relationship that blinds us... Makes us accept far less than we deserve....
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RHP User
13 years ago
I would forgive a mistake, a poor choice - sex with someone else outside the terms of our partnership. And I would do so based on my belief that love and sex are separate and we are sometimes driven by biological needs that can be hard to ignore. Sexual monogamy in my view is a social construct. But becoming emotionally attached to someone else through ongoing deceit is something else and while I'm sure I'd get over it and forgive, I think it would be much harder. Mr IAT has been my partner for almost 19 years and I'd be hard pushed to walk away from that if our partnership was otherwise content. X - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Great Topic....I had someone continuously hurt me for 1/2 my life - For me I had to use the golden key of forgiveness to open up my life for Happiness. I won't let my vulnerability ever be taken advantage of as I believe that's the problem with giving out too many chances... All the best and hope things work out for you. FOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm a very forgiving guy. Probably too forgiving, to the point where it could be said that I'm a pushover. But I just don't like to see the bad, the poison, the ugly in anyone, let alone admit it. So I base my forgiveness on the evidence at the time. Could the situation have been avoided?? If so, how? Were their actions premeditated?? If yes, what's the history behind it?? Is this situation THAT serious, that it deems the relationship to be no longer serviceable? It's a systematic process with which I follow, questioning everything, weighing up probabilities, etc. but it's me. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
sorry no second chances......if you don't care enough to hurt me....I don't care enough to give you a second chance....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'bigbustyBBW'sorry no second chances......if you don't care enough to hurt me....I don't care enough to give you a second chance.... where is that 'like' button?
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RHP User
13 years ago
For pursuing an affair behind my back without at least inviting me - Zero chances..For other infringements - throw a Chance Cube.
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RHP User
13 years ago
It made me a target for all sorts of arseholes. I now have a backbone. No more chances. Why? Because I don't have to.
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