F55
Chemistry
September 04 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
Has only happened to me twice in my life - 30 years apart. The first was with my ex husband, it fizzled out over the years, we still remain friends. The second time was with a FWB , the timing was not right for a relationship but we had a lot of fun for a couple of years. When it happens it's intoxicating and exhilarating and I would love to feel it again one day. I feel very lucky that I got to experience it twice.
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
That is an area as broad as life itself. There are even so many 'forms' of chemistry - such as in simply finding a person you would happy just to be friends with, to full blown head over heals never-ending love type of stuff. That will just depend on so many factors of the person concerned - such as the location where they live (ie availability of finding someone else) to what sort of personality you have (introverted, extroverted etc) to what frame of mind you are in at any particular time (are you actually looking for someone, or just mulling around). Not really a simple black or white area. Tall
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Yes , it happened to us, 20 years ago ....and we are still together 💕❤️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
I am not sure if "chemistry" is what I would call it. I don't go looking for it, more like it just happens. For me each relationship I have with someone, has it's own experience/s which makes it unique...some have lasted, some haven't and some have made a tremendous impact to whom I am today. Each relationship has awakened my mind, body and soul, woken them up (so to say). Some are exactly where, we are meant to be. It serves a purpose. As for it being rare or common, I can not say as sometimes it's just a moment, sometimes it lasts longer and sometimes it is what it is. You just know when it happens, it's a beautiful thing. Ms Foxy x
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sometimes it is physical,literally a chemical concoction...then there are people who just get you,the people you connect with platonically ..intellectually ,emotionally,and spiritually..Q
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MissBishere
9 years ago
I haven't found it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
involving several women in white coats, sex and the periodic table. You've just made me realise it was about "chemistry"It has happened a occasionally for me.......... Once many years ago at a party for my wife's work, some how magically I found me and this woman, standing in her lounge room, ( the party was in her garden ) talking and kissing, the only two people left. Also magically we ended up in her bed for the night ( short though it was and there was no actual sex ) We did go on to have sort of an affair with my wifes knowledge, but as I had a young family both of us were reluctant to move on to anything permanent, although we did go on weeks holiday together. (it was like a blissfull honey moon ) We are no longer in contact but all these years later I still hold a place in my heart for her and regret the turmoil I caused her.
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RHP User
9 years ago
But scary. How can you have so many good feelings for one person? Its the first time Ive experienced it on this level, and he feels the same. The other week he sent red roses to my work to let me know he was thinking of me. From joining here to have casual relationships Ive ended up meeting someone. Sexual and emotional chemistry is a powerful thing indeed.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Every time I decide to become sexual with someone.... there is chemistry. (and no... not chloroform you cheeky smartarses ) I don't take becoming sexual with someone lightly, so I have to actually like them, as well s be attracted to them.... and to me that is chemistry. But that thunderclap from the sky that says *DG my good man, you just MUST be with this person*.... not often, but then thats what makes it special when it happens.
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RHP User
9 years ago
And it's like a lightning bolt. Like some of other others have said sometimes it's sexual, intellectual, spiritual, emotional and breathtaking.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...has never found me either. Perhaps that's why I never searched for it...it sounds so rare, so unrealistic. Practical as ever...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Once in my 42 years has it happened and when I least expected it. Sexual, physical & intellectual connection... Like peas & carrots as Gump said. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
I agree. The same, I have to like and be attracted to the person too, for me to even go there. If not, it's not going to happen. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have been lucky enough to find that very special thing several times... but there are degrees of it... At one end of the spectrum there is that head over heels, dumb and ridiculous excitement where you let it screw with other important things in your life... be it family, friends or business. Where it is so soooo all encompassing that you make stupid (unlike your normal self) decisions... and it just feels so good that it is worth the price you pay... well you thing so at the time!!! Then at the other end of the spectrum you meet a person and it just feels right, every action works... you smile at the same things, you tingle when you touch... orgasms just come one after another... you exhaust each other... but can still get on with life outside your relationship! Over time it always mellows... but it rarely dies... I am still in contact with every person I have ever felt that... thing... even if it is an email once and a while. Like peas and carrots... run Forrest run.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Now all I have to do is find a wonderful woman to share that feeling with once more... but in our own special way... her the Yin... I the Yang.
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Sawadee
9 years ago
I'm dealing with it right now... What started as a friendly chat , turned into a attraction , turned into familiararity , has now turned into wanting to resist developing feelings. Definately chemistry , nothing else.. no sex , no date , no nothing. Why ? Because she's younger and I don't want to go there.. I've been around long enough to reckonise the signs and it's making me uncomfortable. Her body language is full on positive and tempting. But because it's nothing more than chemistry at this early stage there's still time to back away. You never know when life is about to throw a curly one at you. I didn't see it coming..
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RHP User
9 years ago
Have I experienced chemistry? Sexual chemistry, yes. But not a deep emotional chemistry...not sure if I ever will, or if I'll know it, if it were to find me!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Betty7216' Quoting 'Koolgrey' ...has never found me either. Perhaps that's why I never searched for it...it sounds so rare, so unrealistic. Practical as ever...Maybe it has found you, but you missed it because you weren't open to it ;)Dreamer as ever... xx Quite right Betty. Lazily, I expected things would stay static....but, of course, the effort has to be put in regularly.Learning from my mistakes..
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RHP User
9 years ago
Missb72.........not sure why as you have one very sexy bum
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Betty7216' Thank you :) I would love to say the same, but I am censored :( Need to get that membership happening! xx Agree, you both look great
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RHP User
9 years ago
Felt chemistry a few times, but true body , heart and soul only once. Wrong time and very unexpected for both of us. I'm very glad it happened. Being a very practical person I'd be suprised if it happened again. But who knows.
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RHP User
9 years ago
but the second time well out trumped the first and it could not have been a worse person for it to happen with but alas, we do not get to choose. It caught me by surprise as I'm sure it does with everyone, I could not believe how intoxicating it was, indeed it does take over ones whole being. Long story short I'm married, my wife didn't fancy her husband so no 4 way happening there and in hindsight that would have ended in a train wreck.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have had chemistry on all levels emotionally, physically and spiritually. Nearly killed me!! But oh it was beautiful while it was happening. xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Chemistry that works both ways is the hardest thing to find. The brain is the most incredibly beautiful, common and misunderstood part of our anatomy. When the neurons connect when in contact with someone specific it can be life changing. Not always in a sexual manner. Some of the best friendships I have had with the opposite sex are platonic. They do not always last physically as life can never be planned and straight but they will always stay with me and help to define me as a person. I need some chemistry before I will sleep with someone. It is a must.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Many years ago, a workmate and friend of mine from Peru introduced me to the Spanish term "Simpatico". ("Hitting it off from the first", or "getting along like a house on fire"). It can happen to/with anyone at anytime. It doesn't necessarily mean you wanna jump someone's bones... That sense would be the ideal to find in a partner. I think it remains elusive to people when they are guarded in revealing what they really think and feel. Rather, there is a tendency for people to portray thoughts and actions in a manner they believe others expect they should, or which they will accept. There's much to be said for being honest with yourself, and remembering you're not going to please all of the people all of the time. I've met people who have been quite successful "pick up artists", or "hunters"/"stalkers of prey", who once ensconced in an actual relationship, find they are unable to maintain the pretense. These people can become deeply unhappy and the relationship can become toxic. My former wife is one such example. Everything she expressed in word and deed for two years before marriage/first born child, actually turned out to be complete lies. TWO FULL YEARS! Even once she began to reveal more of herself, she still concealed the full extent of her deceit. It turns out she is an habitual/serial bigamist, cheat, liar, fraud and thief prone to verbal and physical assault when she didn't get her own way (and when she was found out)! She has cases to answer. I'll not subject myself to another relationship like that one. It was an absolute nightmare. It could constitute a full blown psychological/psychiatric scientific study. I'll not bore any of you with further details of it. It will become available in the Case Law. I learnt my lesson. That's the most important aspect of that for me now. In consequence of all this, I do not intend to ever marry again. I'm content to bide my time, meeting and speaking with people until I find the one that "clicks". I'm not as trusting now as I once was, but I'm working at not being overly cynical. (The rose coloured tint has almost completely faded from my beer goggles).
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'ontology' ...prone to verbal and physical assault when she didn't get her own way (and when she was found out)!... To be state it more correctly, I should say she (the former wife, not the cat's Mother) had a propensity, or was apt to resort to verbal and physical assault when caught out in a lie. My central point though is that it can sometimes be difficult to know the difference between genuine and confected "chemistry". She had kept up appearances for two whole years before her mask slipped and she dropped the charade (though even then, not fully). There are some highly skilled and deceitful manipulators out there. I am now perhaps too acutely aware, and I have very little patience or tolerance when I perceive signs of fakery.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I am so sorry that happened to you Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
I appreciate it. The most upsetting thing is the lies and deceit are continuing. Centrelink, the Child Support Agency and the ATO are being defrauded, my children (particularly my eldest) are succumbing to outright lies/brainwashing, and I continue to bear financial impacts which slow progress in my own endeavours. My parental rights to access and information are regularly unilaterally frustrated/denied. I have also been subject to threats of violence from my ex-wife's new husband. Evidently, she spun him the same line she did me about her previous husband: patently false allegations of violence and abuse. (I learned after the fact she was bigamist when she took up with me, and she was again when she took up with her new husband). I could box his ears, but it would undermine my own legal arguments. She also fleeced bank accounts and additionally made purchases for/on behalf of her other family members (to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars) in the time we were together. I am working at just resolution in all of these matters, though dealing with bureaucracy driven by prejudiced or inept 'public servants' is a mighty frustration in and of itself (and is compounded by my current study schedule).
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think you really shouldn't be talking about your ex like that on a public forum if the law is involved. I wouldn't like it to incriminate you in any way ...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Pink_Sprinckles' I think you really shouldn't be talking about your ex like that on a public forum if the law is involved. I wouldn't like it to incriminate you in any way ... The truth is what it is. There is no defamation or libel. Each point is backed by multiple sources of evidence. This tale serves to simply demonstrate to the unwary, there are highly deceitful and manipulative people out there who may offer a very convincing portrayal of 'chemistry' and/or compatibility, but that ultimately they do get found out, and (contrary to their own preferred belief) there are practical legal steps that may be taken obtain justice and to counter the destruction they leave in their wake. (Do not forget some of the activities I've mentioned bear financial impacts to all taxpayers. Indirectly, in effect she has been taking money from your pockets too). In any event, I'll not discuss the matter further here.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Like Q, I am sorry to hear that happened to you. It is incredible how deceptive people can be and feel no compunction about the way they behave or their effect on others. I'm more of a get to know people over time Lily. Chemistry as you describe it has mostly been a fleeting thing for me. And it's more the relationship built on that chemistry over time that I have respect for. Peachy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Once... in this case relatively innocent, youthful chemistry, with someone I met just the once over a school group weekend, back in 1999 I believe... Such memories stay vivid a long time...
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