M42 F45
Coming Out as a Swinger
November 08 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Whats the benifits in letting others know you swing? Suspect there is none. So! We say keep it private but definately discuss with people who may sense that you do without confirming and talk honestly about it. But dont volunteer the fact!
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RHP User
16 years ago
We don't hide it, but we don't go out of our way to discuss it. A few people have stumbled across our profile, and if they ask, we'll just tell them as it is - We really have nothing to hide.I would definitely say though, that this is something you MUST discuss ASAP, and have a definitive rule for. Otherwise one might say something to someone that the other doesn't want to know, blow out into an argument, and possibly end your swinging career, or worse.Set a rule, and stick to it. SOON.
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RHP User
16 years ago
it is so out of character for me,my husband says thats what makes it such a turn on, but if i told our friends it would be along the lines of '' yeah right good one''
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RHP User
16 years ago
Unless your friends and family are swinging with you I really do not see hte point of "coming out"... this idea of "coming out" is so Queenie.. you know... like wtf are you feeling austricised and need a little "swing pride"?? What we do in our bedrooms is none of my mother's business. Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
sum of our friends know and since have joined us i mrs fun has converted sum of my girlfriends bi as they felt so comfy with me and always come back 4 more thank god 4 dental dams
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RHP User
16 years ago
Would be horrified if we told then we swing and that Mrs. Ball is bi. So we keep it as close to our chest as we can.
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RHP User
16 years ago
We have talked about this at great length. My sister lives with us and is also one of my best friends and I constantly feel like I am lying to her when we go out and meet couples for drinks or more. However I cannot imagine her being too surprised as I think nothing I do surprises her anymore. Still wouldn't tell her though I did share with a good girlfriend of mine - it felt so good to blurt it out. She is one of the only people that know all about me including all my secrets and it didn't feel right that she didn't know this one. All out in the open - I don't think so but with a select few maybe. K.
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RHP User
16 years ago
We don't tell our friends and family every time we masturbate or have sex on the beach, the car, the office etc so why the hell would we feel the need to tell them we have had others share our bed? We have actually ended up in bed with a few close friends without telling them, it just happened naturally (well champagne induced). This thread is similar to our "face pics" thread. We don't think swinging fits into what essentially defines us (as being gay would) so there's no need to be out and proud. Anyway we like the naughtiness of having our own little secrets to share. Oh on this point, if you tell all your friends then you have the problem of them thinking you want to get in all their pants or maybe others thinking why you haven't approached them. Too many headaches thanks!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Wel.....have to say..EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT US....Family, kids, work friends, friends, newspapers, national geographic, and the rest.....LOLCOUPLESINT PROFILE AND LEESAANDCOOPS PROFILE.NOTHING IS SECRET HERE!!!!!You cannot own a swingers club and keep your self private or no one will ever know what you are all about.There are a lot of swinger club owners that do keep their identity private, but our look at it all, is there is nothing wrong with the lifestyle it is part of our freedom to be who we are.No one should judge us for our own choices in life, as we are all grown up and make our own choices.No one has the right to judge or critize choices we make for ourselves.Be proud of who you are is what we say.We are proud to own a swingers club, it is not trashy, it is not sleazy and it is safer than going to a nightclub nowadays.Well CI is anyhow...heheJust our opinion....Bryan and Leesa and JohnCouples International
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RHP User
16 years ago
We have only told my best friend so far, and that is because she has done similar in the past. We tell each other everything and i trust her with my life. We had a friend over the other nite and hubby clicked on this site and I snapped at him to turn it off, but it was too late as the friend saw it and he said "oh you're partner swapping are you?" DOH!!!! doesnt help that this particular friend has a crush on me and would do anything to get into my knickers haha No way we would tell anyone else though. It really feels like are being very naughty..... but we love it!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I wouldn't tell a soul, can't see the point, and no one would believe me anyway. Most people I know are too scared to swear in front of me for some reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
We have told family, friends and work mates - mostly it has just naturally come up in conversation and there seemed no point in lying about who we are. Like I've said in other posts everyone we have told has had the attitude that "well you are consenting adults" so there is no problem. We don't go out of our way to tell people but there have been a few occasions when it was just easier to be open about it. I guess we are fairly lucky though in that our family and friends are very open and accepting people . The only down side to telling people who are not swingers is that they all the same pool of questions and the main one being "Won't that destroy your relationship?" We always smile when asked that question seeing most of our friends and family are either single or separated.... did monogamy destroy their relationship??? mrs scc
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RHP User
16 years ago
This is a secret we keep to ourselves. Back when the Mathew Johns incident became public it gave a good insite into peoples reactions to this type of lifestyle and I must say of our friends I had some who I thought would be more open which weren't and vice versa. We have contacted existing friends through online dateing but we wouldnt ever tell anyone our secret who wasnt on RHP or similar already. One day it would be nice to form a small group of swinging friends but that hasnt become available at this stage - maybe with time.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks to everyone for your replies, appreciated all your views. We are always very honest with everyone but in this instance, we'll be keeping the thrill of our dirty little secret to ourselves. It's a shame the majority of our friends wouldn't understand - but I'm gonna keep my mouth shut - cause we need them babysit while we go out to play. hahaha And there's always new understanding friends to be made on RHP! Gazza - you're a crack up. Customer69 - I agree, it is hilarious running across straight people in the bendy world. xx
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2more4fun
16 years ago
I had to agree with you that for some reason, the people you thought would be least likely offended/surprised react badly to knowing you are 'open-minded'. It's as though they're cool about the concept but once it creeps into their immediate circle, it becomes an issue. For some I wonder if it's because of fear we might try and convert them to the cult? lolLike HotOzCouple, we don't make it a point to reveal or hide the fact. Swinging is a part of your sex life so unless you discuss all aspects of your sex life to all people, I guess it doesn't make sense to come out to everyone. I think best friends etc. make sense. Sometimes I may raise eyebrows by my overt appreciation of other men or blase attitude to group sex but I don't feel the need to explain it by admitting to being... you know...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Our families would be mortified if we told them.. LOLSo we keep it to our selves as much as humanly posable, though we do have a suspicious friend who is thinking something unusual is up.. so mums the word...don't tell anyone ok?.... LOL "The male from two2tango"
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RHP User
16 years ago
i was just reading what sexycountrycpl and costomer69 was saying and there maybe something in that. our relationship is so diff now then when we were str8. i cheated on mr Bal a few yrs ago (way b4 we decided wed like to try something diff) and we were always fighting. now that we have changed direction and joind the lifestyle our relationship is so much stronger and all the trust is back. yes it was Mr Bal's idea and he did push me into it but thats because im a shy person but im so glad he has because not only is it so much fun but i honestly think it is a big part of us still being together Mrs Bal
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DonnaBrett
16 years ago
We don't hide it..(although family don't know they wouldn't understand) but all our regular friends know (some have even ventured to the dark side LOL). Many workmates know...we figure if any of these people have a problem with it..it's their problem not ours but none have ever condemed us for it. We sit back & watch 'regular' couples argue & bicker about stupid stuff and have seen relationships fall apart over jealousies & trivial problems. We are so in tune and live such a great life we don't have those issues. If more couples were swingers there would be less divorces!
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