F56
Coming on to "friends" of "friends"
March 19 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Good question!I actually thought it was a common occurrence, and quite a few of our friends have gotten together after first meeting through us. It's not something we'd get hung up over, but we hope they would at least have the good manners to tell us. I can't think of any circumstances in which I would be offended other than if they started being derogatory about us (in which case they would soon be ex-friends!)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Keep it all out in the open and above board. Much more funner too! That way everyone knows where they stand and if they don't want to share their toys then that's cool too. And Meeka, you asking if you sound like a prude ... BAAAHAHAHA(I did ask if I could lick his chest ... )
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RHP User
13 years ago
Oh those parties and clubs.... Same rules don't apply really. If I wanted to keep someone to myself I wouldn't ask them to sex parties. Otherwise share the love!! :D
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RHP User
13 years ago
I know some people don't mind an when your heart is not involved then there usually isn't a problem. However, I have been in the odd situation where I know the girl wouldn't like that he had approached me after a group night out even though they are in an non-exclusive friendship. Should I have told her he came on to me? Is it my business? After all I don't know what is between them. I do know that some women would not like "sharing" with friends.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Is it not like everything we do in life - if it's hidden, secretive, behind backs, then its bad. If it's open, up-front, transparent, then there is a good chance that everyone will either be cool, or have a chance to raise that telling eye-brow which translates as "no you don't". I don't think it matters much if its FWBs/FBs or something else. We always invest *something*...Besides, if (say), I knew you (in the biblical or just friendly sense), and a friend of yours caught my eye, I'd prefer to enlist your help to make it happen...
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RHP User
13 years ago
If a guy that had been seeing a friend of mine approached me, I would always ask her first. And even then... A while ago, a woman whom I'd just met brought her FWB to an event and said she was happy to share. I ended up sleeping with him. Afterwards, one look at her face told me she was not as fine with it as she assured me she was, and I decided to be more considerate in the future. Even with people I've met through here it can be a fine line. We truly are an incestuous bunch at times, and feelings of resentment can easily creep in. I've unfortunately experienced that firsthand.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think a lot of people would like to be cool with the sharing concept but sometimes feelings take you by surprise. Do you think jealous is a innate reaction or feeling most of us are born with or are we taught possessiveness and jealousy?
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RHP User
13 years ago
That should read jealousy
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luvsilver
13 years ago
Just to save all confusion why not get everyone all together at the same time and nude up. Problem solved. Mr Luvsilver
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think it is polite to ask.If you know your friend has a bit more of an attachment to the friend of the friend I wouldnt be going there without running it past my friend first.
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RHP User
13 years ago
post meeks. First question - Which of these people would I want to keep in my life should the poo hit the fan? I value a genuine beneficial friendship over a fuckship so I would never knowlingly share unless my genuine friend invited/offered him up on a platter....even then I would do a risk Vs reward analysis. Clear as mud that was ....but I wouldn't want to lose a good friend for the sake of a qf that could go pear shaped in 3.2 seconds.Seeing as I'm relating all topics to this weekend - out of all the forumites going to Sexpo, who is currently farking whom?I'd appreciate knowing before hand so I don't step on anyone's balls
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RHP User
13 years ago
See now there is a point MissPoppins sometimes there are so many connections and interconnections it is hard to keep up & often people go to these events as a single person they are not their as a couple. Particularly as some people may have two or three lovers there or more. When you go to swingers clubs or are in the scene it is quite possible. :D Naturally you would talk to a good friend but what if they are an acquaintance or "somebody that you used to know"?
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Smilingwithfun
13 years ago
We need to act on how we feel. If it doesn't feel right ,then it isn't.If it feels right go for it. Generally our intuition is right.It has been developed over our life to generally reflect our values. We should trust it. In my experiences,my first reaction has generally been the right one,despite not always following it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
2 or 3 lovers all together (insert mock shock emoticon) names love, I just wanted a list of names of who is doing who, I'll keep up, promise Seriously though, if it is an acquaintance or someone that I used to see - then I think that's ok, I think - gosh it can get complicated, you know what, follow your gut.Quoting 'Meeka100' See now there is a point MissPoppins sometimes there are so many connections and interconnections it is hard to keep up & often people go to these events as a single person they are not their as a couple. Particularly as some people may have two or three lovers there or more. When you go to swingers clubs or are in the scene it is quite possible. :D Naturally you would talk to a good friend but what if they are an acquaintance or "somebody that you used to know"?
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RHP User
13 years ago
I, and others are perfectly capable of making our own choices. Late last year a friend had a significant birthday party. I was approached by a woman who had been an occasional lover of the birthday girl who had been an occasional lover of mine.... ...I asked my friend not for her permission, but acceptance. We were overnighting in her home at the time and I simply view that as a respectful and courteous manner. DG- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Not so bad, but I have a family member on here and I was approached by one of her now ex buddies, just too weird and incestious for me!! Even though the family member thinks I should!!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
On the "respect" and how much "honour" you have for each other. If I knew someone was with someone as FWB no way would I go there. Just my morals. That's just me. I see it as messy. Everytime I hear or read of a third person coming into a two-person relationship I automaticly think of a "Drama Triangle"..(psychology terms and I know I shouldnn't) Sometimes it gets messy and one person has to leave as three people just can't work. As for jumping from one to another to me, its not mentally healthy. But some people can do...and that is OK..if it works for them. I get times are changing, relationships change and friendships change...Relationships can be OPEN. They are "open" for a reason...and that is because there is "good communication". For it to work communication is the key...me thinks. I guess when faced in a weird situation as this, Meeka, you're taking a first step and seeking others, their thoughts and options. Some people would say it is cutting grass others won't. To me..It's grass cutting if Lies and Deceit are involved, and players play dirty. Best of Luck and hope it all runs out for you. xx Foxy- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
You are talking about traditional GF / BF relationships. FWBs are different. You are a free agent. As for jumping from one to the other, well a lot of people have 2, 3 or 4 or more FWB's at the same time. Men and women. Sometimes you have group sex, go out together and sometimes it's one on one. I can appreciate that some people would not be able to deal with that and prefer to date one person at a time and that is fair enough. You can not be possessive over an FWB. If you are well then you are not a person that can deal with these types of relationships. For me I wouldn't mind If my friends sleep with my FWB because I am not in love with them and I don't feel possessive over them. Well except for one. :) I have had women ask me for recommendations! The WA ladies pass men between them. For a lot of people dating one person at a time is outdated. So as MsD says we are an incestuous bunch. So how do we deal with all these "free" agents knowing each other??
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RHP User
13 years ago
When you go to meet & greets events this is a common occurrence. And these situations are not unusual in my world.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I probably shouldn't comment as I've never had an FB/FWB etc etc BUT.. if/when I do eventually get one this would be a topic for discussion... personally if the FB/FWB wants to play in another's yard I won't mind as long as I know they are safe. Probably wouldn't do it myself without discussing it first but as I seem to say in all my responses... discuss, converse, talk about it... communication costs nothing and saves the misunderstanding in the long run.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I probably shouldn't comment as I've never had an FB/FWB etc etc BUT.. if/when I do eventually get one this would be a topic for discussion... personally if the FB/FWB wants to play in another's yard I won't mind as long as I know they are safe. Probably wouldn't do it myself without discussing it first but as I seem to say in all my responses... discuss, converse, talk about it... communication costs nothing and saves the misunderstanding in the long run.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Scorecards. Or a rating system, like the tennis. I just don't want to be the one who crashes out in the first round. Watch out for the top seed. And the ballboys. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'...I asked my friend not for her permission, but acceptance. We were overnighting in her home at the time and I simply view that as a respectful and courteous manner. I think I may have a problem with other people having sex in my house! And MissPoppins, I you want dibs on someone Saturday, just say so!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I shared a FB once. I felt very strange about it at the time (and I seriously hope she didn't feel awkward because it was MY issue, not theirs at all) but it was a valuable learning experience for me to let go of someone. I also learned that i can watch something beautiful when two people pleasure each other. This happened very early in my time on RHP and it was a lesson I needed to learn. It has helped to no end and I am more confident and independent in myself that and most importantly OPEN MINDED. I have chosen this lifestyle and learning how to recognise and manage my emotions is a key part. Geez I hope that made sense
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RHP User
13 years ago
You know how everyone in Hollywood is just 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon...Well the active swinging community in Australia is much smaller than Hollywood, particularly given it is somewhat localised thanks to our wide brown land.The more active in the community are probably only a degree or two from crossing swords with everyone else. I'll bet an innovative researcher (probably from Sydney Uni and without permission) could find our Kevin Bacon.Best we all just agree to share and share alike in the mean time.Mr C
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RHP User
13 years ago
a transition from friend to ''frenemy'',....also popular in Hollywood.
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