Couples Why Did You Originally Become Swingers?

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Sorry about the long reply. Short version - we became 'selectively non-exclusive' to explore and because it is fun and it is a sexy turn on. Long version - my wife has a one fwb. He is long term married. I have met with a few other women. But we are not in an open relationship as such and it would be cheating if her or I just had sex with someone without the other's prior knowledge and consent. As for why, we have been together for as long as I remember. It is simply fun to have sex with another person and it is erotic when I know my wife has been with another man and tells me about it in graphic detail while we are having sex. How we started - it was a progression from fantasising together to actually trying it. The idea came from her but once it was in my head I became the driving force. First, i just needed to have an ego check and dispell the inevitable insecurities about my wife being with fire-fighter looking guys with huge erections. My wife used to fantasise about having other penises during sex (but not about the guys themselves) and other women during sex. She would describe fantasies to me during sex. This then progressed to her verbalising fantasies about me with women and her with actual men and we began using toys as substitutes for the penises of other men. The fantasies just progressed until she let me get a hand relief massage to test how she would feel In real life if we did explore. I then watched her with a male sex worker (it cost an absolute packet as we had to pay as a couple even though I was just sitting aside watching and masturbating. It just progressed from there to where we are now. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'CucknShells' when after much deliberation I said to my husband that I wanted to sleep with another man. He said that he wanted me to and told me about cuckolding. We were worried that once you do something that you can't undo it. We talked a lot about it. We were and are very secure in our relationship. We didn't want to change our relationship but more so add to it. My husband wanted to explore more his kink side and I wanted to explore my sexuality. We like different things but they compliment each other. So we both get a lot of enjoyment from it. What keeps us here is the people and lifestyle. It has brought us closer together. We have met the most amazing people. Shells. Shells, That's awesome! How long where you guys together/married before you decided to check out swinging? Taby x

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I totally forgot to mention in the original post that the questions above are not just random questions. I'm actually doing some research for a book I'm writing about swinging. I have been swinging with Mr Taby (DK) for over 4 years now, however due to some health issues he is having atm we are taking a break from swinging and our couples profile is currently inactive (thus why I'm posting from my girls profile). So I know why MR & I started swinging together but I also want to find out why other people first decided to take the plunge and give swinging a go, who initiated it (Mr or Mrs) and if there were any reasons why you were worried to give it a go in the first place :) Taby x

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  We met playing like this and just continued to do so.We had some apprehensions so we set some ground rules and have never looked back.

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  SexyDeviants

  9 years ago

  When we meet, we realised we both were after a similar life partner, someone who would give us the space to explore our sexuality. It is in our personalities, we don't have any attachment issues to each other, we are open and communicate, even from the very first date. It feels like a natural part of our relationship. We have been swingers from day one. Ms D X

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  ReyandJean

  9 years ago

  After 2nd child our sex life had become lackluster.We discussed ways to jump start it again and involving another woman was raised as an option. We did some research (read ethical slut and similar books) and went to a couple of swingers events. We had spent time in the BDSM world and nude beaches, so it wasn't a big step for us to have same room sex. When we decided that we were both ready we did a full swap and enjoyed it/them immensely, both because we were each with someone different, and because we each enjoy watching the other having fun. It also reignited our spark for each other and helped our communication grow even stronger. We're still participating in the pastime because it's fun for both of us and we've met (and continue to meet) many lovely people. xx R&J

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  justforthefun44

  9 years ago

  Hi we got in to the life style mrs was the one that wanted to. She wanted to try 2 cocks at the same time. Then it lead to she wanted to see me sucking cock. As she is bi I thought yes let's go for it. Now mmmmm. We have being together 10years none of use had done this before. We stay doing it coz its mmmmmmmmm

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I got married at 24 and we were both virgins, me because although I have a high libido and great curiousity I was very shy and lacking in self confidence particularly around women. ( She because she was a good catholic girl ) Well we were both curious about sex with other people and she had a couple of "affairs" which I was not comfortable with and the compromise we reached was to try swinging, we did and enjoyed for a number of years. We live in the country so we weren't as active as some couples may be but we had a number of fun experiencs and attended parties such as "Staints and Sinners" , We have a type of open marriage, which because of her extrovertness she played out fairly fully and she has now lost interest in other partners but I have been slower to explore and still have a higher libido, hence I am on rhp. We haven't actually "swung" for a nuber of years but still have an open marriage where as long as there is openess and honesty between us, we can be involved with other people.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  appears some filtering has gone on, whatever, enjoy your sexual freedom. Just curious, does your partner play alone as well (or did I mean when he was well), or it just you? You mentioned somewhere else he's happy for you to play with other women. Are you happy for him to play with other women? The dynamic between couples fascinates me

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I wasn't going to answer this as it cut a touch too deep for me. I was very happily monogamous for 7 years with my O/H. I'll say this- we had communication issues. Mainly that: what was said, wasn't believed. That lead to lies and pain for both of us. Happily though, through those times the trust was eventually given and conversely earned back. (A bit of a brush over, sorry)... At that point I pushed for this. We went from cuckhold, to open, to swingers and finally decided Polyamory was our personal fit. All of it has been positive for our relationship, we're stronger. Now married. Never bored. Always time poor! Three years in. -Longest. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  you're a beast! You understand, I'm sure. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Thanks so much to everyone for their answers so far. Its really helping me put it all together :)Keep the answers coming Taby x

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Hey, so to answer your question I am the only one that has played alone (unless you count me watching but not joining in while he plays with a straight girl as alone? lol). We have always had the rule that he's not allowed to play with a girl without me physically being in the same room (so he can play and I can watch or I can join in for a threesome). Being Bi I actually find it really hard not to join in (massive tease) so for that reason we usually try to find other bi girls to play with rather than straight girls. Im allowed to play with girls alone without him being there (as a lot of girls arn't interested in threesomes) but I'm not allowed to play with guys alone because although he's open minded he's SUPER straight so MMF or the thought of watching me with another guy just doesn't do it for him, so we just don't go there. Couples are different because there is another girl as well as the guy and it evens it out :) Taby x

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  madotara69

  9 years ago

  This part is really important, 20 years we had been married, faithful in a monogamous relationship with a great sex life, we have been best friends in love, it was by choice and care for each other, Tara has always been the centre of my life, it really means something, what it means is that (my responsibilities, principals) I have been honest with Tara because I have always respected her, she makes her own choices, she is her own person, beautiful, smart, great sense of humour, great with people, we have many friends and I'm proud to have lived by these principals, I have won her love for it, her trust and respects, a good life together above all challenges. We decided after a lot of communication, many conversations we had during the sex we were having and for the 'what if's' we discussed things that may be uncomfortable in scenarios with different types of people, expecting not all would be honest, perhaps disrespectful, players, trophy hunters, etc. Tara's safety, dignity, her naive to manipulation, cheated or lied too, she is vulnerable, she wants to believe people and some have tested us, we have a rule, we play together and have that work for us and share who we are with other people, men mostly, a few women, some group sex. We have had a mixed bag of experiences, mostly good, some not so good, one stopped and a fellow sent on his way, we have experienced quite a few emotions as the times have passed, we don't have jealous issues luckily, don't believe we could be doing this if we did, strong emotion to get past, don't know how people do if any, hat off if so. Yeah we decided to hang out with each other and cruise into the swinging lifestyle as mates, our love we built over a long time, here we are and we are doing ok, some good friends, some great sex, a learning curve and leave it on a positive note. Mado Mado Tara xx

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'justforthefun44' Hi we got in to the life style mrs was the one that wanted to. She wanted to try 2 cocks at the same time. Then it lead to she wanted to see me sucking cock. As she is bi I thought yes let's go for it. Now mmmmm. We have being together 10years none of use had done this before. We stay doing it coz its mmmmmmmmm I would love to come and help you both with oral and working on you as a couple now that would be very mmmmm

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  It was my idea ( hubby ) We first started 12 years ago when Mrs confessed to me she would like to try F/F , I went and found a site and set up a girl profile for her , she met a few girls had fun, then we decided to set up a couple profile .we had fun with that but I realised I enjoyed watching Mrs so I suggested we try single guys We met up with single guys for a few years and both enjoyed it and one day after setting up a meeting with a guy we had met a few times and who had traveled a long way I had an emergency at work and had to pull out so I said to Mrs you can go alone we know he is a nice guy and trust him. So nervously she went to meet him and had a great time even turned it into an all day play and made a DVD of some of their fun for my birthday which was the next week. So we then had the Hotwife thing going with Mrs catching up and playing on her own but I was always there for first play sometimes just watching We have lately been mainly going to party's and enjoying that but who knows what is next - Posted from rhpmobile

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  Verypicky

  9 years ago

  Naturally being a guy I said I would love a couple women. It was just chatter at the time, but after a while the fantasy was becoming so hot, we needed to try it. The rest is history 😎 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  We got together well over a decade ago in our teens. We were both virgins until a week after we'd met. We were and still are madly in love but didn't want to let curiosity kill the cat or miss out on the opportunity to enjoy sex with other people. This brought us to the exciting world of swinging, I guess you could say we're doing our exploring in reverse - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  So we could meet sexy individuals such as yourself! We love seeing each other have fun and sex is brilliant as it is.

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  DynamicCouple36

  9 years ago

  We are turned on by the visuals and the "naughtyness" of it all. What first caught our attention was a scene from the movie "Eyes Wide Shut" and that got us talking about how exciting it might be to be part of a party like that. Then one Saturday morning in SexyLand, we saw a poster advertising "Saints & Sinners " swinging ball, and for us this conjured up images of what we had seen in the Eyes Wide Shut movie, and so we found some similar outfits and attended Saints. So who suggested it first ? Neither of us - it was something we brought up and discussed together, although we are aware that in the majority of the cases it is the male half of the couple who instigates things - its just the way males are wired. We were worried that perhaps there would be issues of jealousy, insecurity and that it may have a negative impact on our long term relationship and marriage. We therefore made sure that we were both on the same page as it were. We discussed all the ramifications , in depth, beforehand . We established boundaries & ground rules. We decided upon a safe word/sign, should either of us feel uneasy and wished to stop proceedings. What kept us in the scene? Well the excitement and thrill, the feeling of butterflies in ones tummy, the knowledge that we are being naughty, the erotic visuals and the fact that it has really spiced up our sex lives and libido, and done wonders for our relationship .. that has kept us in the scene as it were,although we do not consider ourselves to be hard core swingers - we rarely play -perhaps just a few times a year with a few nice people we have become friends with on here. We enjoy the social aspect of it more than anything else.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I started a fwb relationship we had only been together a short time but openly discussed things that we wanted to experiment and haven't looked back since. At the time he had more experience around these situations so we made some rules. We are both really happy and have met some really great people. Cheers

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I (Mr3) was working in a FIFO role and while sexting with the wifey she mentioned she was watching lesbian porn. Interested, I asked if she'd like to try it for herself and after some discussion I arranged for her to meet a girl. She insisted I be part of it as she was rather nervous and so we had a 3some for her first time. We then signed up to RHP as a couple though chiefly for her to explore her new found bisexual leanings. After our first meet and greet we had a threesome with a guy from the bar who wasn't part of RHP who came back for drinks innocently at our hotel room. After a few Mrs3 asked if it would be OK to which I said yes and we've gone from there. We used to only play together, then in the presence of each other or in the same vicinity, then only with prior approval, to the point now where we are in an open relationship though full disclosure is still given and we still enjoy playing with each other with others when we can. We've taken the foot off the pedal a bit lately but still enjoy it thoroughly, and don't regret the decision whatsoever. Only thing we regret is our name as we actually prefer more in the bed than 3 but the names stuck so we've learnt to live with it lol.

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  Starlet1

  9 years ago

  E was in a lesbian relationship before we got together and that was something we talked about rediscovering. Once we got on the path of sex positive/sexual liberation, the idea of swinging came to us quite quickly. The TV series Playboy Swing was a great initiation to this world. Our first event was Saints and Sinners. We stay in the lifestyle because we're 100% committed to each other and love hot, sexy and social the lifestyle is. We're on a small break at the moment for family reasons, but we'll be back and see you all at Wet on Wellington or when we host our own parties ;)

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