F53
Curious what everyone’s personal boundary is around lateness on dates.
February 02 2026
Comments
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seekandplay
4 months ago
I would have left too. That’s really rude. In my eyes, that shows disrespect for my time and effort getting ready. Just disrespect in general. Yes, if he had messaged that he was running late and would be X amount of time - absolutely fine. Things happen, like you say. Even if he was driving, it’s not hard to make a quick call. Sorry this happened x
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JustAManNextDoor
4 months ago
Common courtesy would have been to let you know well in advance that he was running late. Even a call two minutes late saying, “Sorry, I’m just parking and will be there shortly” would have been fine. A call or message forty minutes later, however, is simply bad form. With navigation apps now telling us time-to-distance with irritating accuracy, there’s really no excuse. You know how long it will take, what the delays are, and even the alternative routes. None of this should come as a surprise. My last meeting was similar. We agreed to meet in a park a short walk from her place, next to a café where we’d grab coffee and lunch. She didn’t show on time, so I got a coffee, sat on a park bench and listened to a podcast. After about an hour, I left. It was nearly half a day later before she messaged to say she’d slept in and forgotten. Again—bad form. Yet, frustratingly, it seems to be the norm these days. Make a date, arrive 5 mins early!
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RHP User
4 months ago
I would probably wait half and hour if no keeping in the loop with being late. I would wait for as long as it took if she was letting me know what was going on. I have no tolerance for those that think they can leave someone waiting without keeping them informed. Too many people out there with a lack of respect for others and their time. Besides I like to be punctual when catching up with anybody be it family, friends or a total stranger I am about to meet. I apologise for being 5 minutes late. Common bloody courtesy. Sadly in this get what you want as quick as you can and not give a shit about others world. Common courtesy is slowly disappearing
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MrandMrsEss
4 months ago
Shit happens that can make us run late but I think you’ve done nothing wrong in leaving without decent communication. I mean if I’m on my motorbike then it’s hard and an extra 10 minutes to pull over take helmet and gloves off to message then redress and get under way again, I’d let someone know if that was the case though.
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MsSuperFoxy
4 months ago
My rule of thumb: Always a quick confirmation phone call that morning and state we message each other when there for updates. If there is no answer or communication, I just go about my day. I will not have further communication with them. At met point. 5–10 mins: no stress. 15-20 mins: I expect a call/message. 20–30 mins with updates: I might stay or I might leave. End of 30 mins: Nothing, I’m goneski- just go about my day. I will not have further communication with them. Ms Foxy
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Temptress_T
4 months ago
I would have left too, but thinking about it again, how far did he have to drive? maybe he was driving and could not message? It would have been smart to give you an ETA. I am curious if you responded to him once he said he was there.
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selfless__lover
4 months ago
Absolutely unacceptable and disrespectful on his part. Firstly, to only message you AFTER the time you had agreed to meet and tell you he was only just leaving is very rude. He knew he was going to be late at least 20-30mins earlier when he hadn't already left and should have messaged you then. I recall you telling me his message was also in reply to you texted to say you had arrived. So lack of communication and appreciation of your time is disrespectful. Secondly, if anything came up and I lost track of time and was running late I'd be profusely apologising and keeping you updated with an ETA. To tell you he was just leaving home and then leave you waiting in the dark as to his arrival time is rude and lacking in basic communication skills. To me you did the right thing pulling the pin and leaving rather than waiting around endlessly for him to potentially not show up at all or hours late. I think he showed you a lot of disrespect considering the long drive you had to get there, the planning to make yourself available and get ready etc and he couldn't even communicate where he was, what his ETA was or even offer a reason he was late or an apology. I would have waited no more than 15-20 mins max without being told and ETA and the left. I think you were very generous waiting around as long as you did and handled it very maturely. The same cant be said of him.
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sublime
4 months ago
A regular update on ETA would have been ideal. And in the throes of play it’s even worse! Checking messages and waiting. Have since learned if you are not ontime you don’t deserve my time.
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Apples_N_Oranges
4 months ago
Very poor communication and poor behaviour by him! Unfortunately we have experienced a similar situation with another couple, waited about the same amount of time (45 min) in the bar of the hotel they were staying at, they eventually sent us a message saying they were at the bar. We had already left as we believed they were wasting our time/had lost interest, never heard from them again so we can only assume we were right. Fortunately we had a back up plan which was BFWB and still had a good night. To put a timeframe on waiting, we would say 45 min max, especially if there is no clear communication as to why they are so late. Completely agree with what Sublime wrote - if people can’t be on time, put in the effort/communication, they are not worth our time!
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fullofman
4 months ago
I would say he was never coming and made sure it was long enough after knowing you would of left. Some people like the thrill of meeting someone in theory but never actually follow through with it for whatever reason! I have had this happen before and when you go back through your messages there are red flags that you question at the time but disregard in the moment.
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Sidders
4 months ago
Communication is key in this world , if you can’t communicate something that simple it’s prob not worth it anyway . Shame you wasted your time .
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TheMinx
4 months ago
🙊 I am always late 🙃, however I always message my eta. Usually only by 5 or 10 minutes. But zero communicado is a hard pass and just rude. @night why I stick to my 2km radius 🤣
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Felicitous
4 months ago
I agree with the above.. poor communication on his behalf. It's a horrible feeling being left in limbo.. It does feel like disregard, especially since you had so much further to travel and had pre-set a time. Red flag for me is lack of apology or consideration of an earlier message in the beginning when he would have known that he was running late (not simply in response to yours) As above - if someone was sincere and thoughtful in the way they communicated being late, i'd have no issues waiting.. how long would depend on if they were a new connection or existing. I'd say 1hr max for new (though I'm happy to catch up on emails and work remotely - so wouldn't feel too much like 'waiting') Everyone makes mistakes and some need to learn from them. I hope he reflects on the situation and his behavior later and does apologise. If not - he doesn't sound much of a keeper! V xxx
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CallMeV
4 months ago
Someone who does not value your time and effort, definitely not deserved to be with you. I am surprised to know that you have waited 40 minutes!!! 😊
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Cucknshells
4 months ago
Once a long time ago I had arranged to meet a man who was a FIFO and was flying in to where I lived. We had spoken on the phone and arranged to meet. We locked in a date/ time and place. That night I was dressed and ready waiting to hear that he had arrived. The time came and went. I texted him and no response. I then rang him. He seemed surprised. His flight had been cancelled, and he forgot that we had arranged to meet. It's that feeling of being treated like you are insignificant that I find to be to a personal boundary for me. He contacted me again after to see if I wanted to catch up and it was a hard no. Shells xx
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RHP User
4 months ago
Its so hard (for some of us) to get to the point of meeting in the first place, that I just cant imagine not showing up or being late, let alone rude enough not to communicate that to someone who is wanting to meet you. I treat everyone with respect and decency, just like i want to be treated. You did nothing wrong @Nightglider. Common courtesy is free and takes up little of ones time to show.
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Sawadee
4 months ago
If we arrange to meet at 2 pm .. I'll be there at 2 pm.. l don't understand people who make arrangements then expect you to be understanding if they fuck it up... l have no patience for lame excuses and quickly move on to more important things...
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DreDesire
4 months ago
You shouldn’t wait longer than 30 minutes for a date/meet because we value our time and intentional about how we show up. How someone handles being late reflects their character, things like respect, accountability, and communication. If something genuinely out of their control comes up and they communicate it, that’s completely fine. We’re human and life happens. What matters to me and majority of y’all is the effort and awareness. When there’s no communication or consideration, it tells me we’re not aligned, and we’re comfortable acting on that.
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LandR202
4 months ago
I’m sorry about your date. That was rude. If I was in your shoes I’d assume he wasn’t running late he was probably just flaking and pretending otherwise….
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EarthQueen
4 months ago
One of the best thing about being on RHP is that I became an expert at not putting up with BS. At the beginning I would give some leeway, overthink and wonder what was happening. By the end I was asking for a text before I left home just to be sure we were on the same page and I wasn't wasting my time. People with the right intentions will always be happy to provide respectful and prompt communication. If there's a hint of flakiness don't bother with them. Effective communication is the bare minimum.
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Lickittysplit
4 months ago
I’ve had dates show up that look nothing like their photos but I’m still courteous enough to stay and have the intended drink/ coffee if it’s a first meet. You can still be pleasant and human enough to just say that you’re not giving me the spark I need to organise another date and wish them the best on their journey. Manners go a long way these days.
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RHP User
3 months ago
I too have experienced this, several times. Living nearly 2 hours out of Perth, I have happily travelled long distances to meet with both single ladies and couples, only to be stood up. No apologies, no explanations. I would never do this so I find it difficult to understand why others do.
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mobydick4000
3 months ago
A message the morning of the day to check in they are still available is advantageous to you. A text to say you will be running late with ETA an hour more prior to meeting. A text if you're delayed due to traffic, parking etc if near the time with an ETA. If no show by 30-40 minutes, I move on. Courtesy would be to allow enough time to postpone the date for another time. I recently had to cancel a first date twice (dog had a paralysis tick and taken to the vet for 24 hours). For the inconvenience I offered to buy us both drinks and dinner if the date went well.
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fumina06
3 months ago
If People disrespect your time, they dont deserve to get the access to you and your inner peace. Set boundaries so if they ever cross it. They need to face the consequences.
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RHP User
3 months ago
Lateness, especially with computer aided "time to travel to...." information should not be a problem unless you're trapped in a traffic jam. Chronic lateness is a huge bugbear for me, as it's an "it's all about me" thing. Daughter in law is a narcissistic Italian who hasn't been on time a day in her life. She loves to make a grand entrance - even to the extent of delaying her own entrance while her husband and kids go to the venue first themselves. I'm always early, and wait until half an hour without updates has passed for a date before leaving.
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TristansDelight
3 months ago
Anyone with communication skills like that usually gets instant block from us :) We hate time wasters. And there's plenty of then in here unfortunately.
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Smutlover
3 months ago
After confirming a coffee date in the morning and agreeing to delay the time by half an hour I was stood up with no communication or explanation. I understand stuff happens and actually waited about an hour as I was enjoying my coffee but it still pissed me off. Couldn't be bothered hearing excuses so he got blocked. It's a mark of respect or lack thereof if they communicate when running late. Driving can be an issue but I think I gave ample time.
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greatman
3 months ago
Too little to late You did absolutely the right thing to leave. And if has balls he should transfer you the tolls M......f...
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