DISCLAIMER: Rant inside.

Comments

• 

  RHP User

  17 years ago

  When you attend a swingers club, you are invited as a single guy. Dont ever assume that you have a right to have sex with a couple if the COUPLE decides that it is not so. Couples come to swingers club with rules, and if their rules "as a couple" dont allow the female partner to go off with a single guy or play with a single guy as a threesome then so be it. Rules and communication is what makes a swingers club, and even if someone says it is okay "couple" to start and then feels that it is not half way through, then it is their choice to stop. Just as it is about YOU when you attend a club, it is also about the COUPLE. Everyone has their own rules and dont ever expect anyone to break any rules of their own just to please your needs. It disturbs me when you say " tell these guys to fuck off and stop letting them limit what you do", You are talking about a couple there, and they have rules and if their rules were not followed they would not be on the scene. Couples: playing on this scene is about respecting each other, and we simply dont break rules just because you want a FUCK, we respect our partners decision and go with that. After all, it is not ALL about sex while at a club for most couples, but about being able to communicate with adults and have fun, and it is simply not that important to FUCK who ever we want to, cause we always have the BEST fuck with our partners, you are just a tool we use to have some fun when and if we are allowed to do so by our COUPLE rules. Hope you understand that , and realize that No couple will ever break their rules just because YOU want a FUCK. And bottom line is, just because someone is flirting with you, doesnt mean she wants to FUCK you, take it as a compliment and if she says NO then simple......NO MEANS NO....SO WHAT MOVE ON.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  17 years ago

  I understand your response Leesa. Really I do. It's just these girls weren't simply just flirting. One said she would be back in 5 mins to play and the other said 'we'll totally fuck'. Now sure, maybe they were just talking it up, and then when it came to the crunch they decided not to, and they just used their boyfriend as an excuse... maybe. Whatever. I know the club isn't about going there and fucking but I would like to think it's about people having less limits placed on them than usual. My frustration is far less about me missing out on a fuck and a lot more about this imbalance that seems to be happening about what a female is expected to do (or not do) and how those same rules aren't adopted by the male in the relationship. It just seems unfair. I've been told that I'm extremely open minded and trusting when it comes to what I 'allow' my partners to do. Maybe it's just that. As I said, it was purely a rant and not aimed at your club in particular (yours is not the only place I've been to) but at the scene in general and perhaps even wider society. I hope this clears things up a bit. Or maybe I've just dug the hole deeper :/

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  17 years ago

  I didn't mention our club at all, i was merely talking from a couples point of view. We are swingers too, and a couple , and i would take offense if i even had to explain to a guy why i could not play with him. A simple No should be enough!

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  17 years ago

  I totally agree here about the insecure guys blasphemere 76 ....... if the shoes on the other foot then there all for another notch on their bed head. Seems there is a lot of guys who are too worried their partner might have to good a time with another. That is why so many couples (not all) are after single girls for 3 somes. We on the other hand prefer to let each other decde and both enjoy watching each other have fun with the opposite sex whether the be single or a couple.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  17 years ago

  How about this..........maybe the guys just didn't like you,.......... nothing to do about them being insecure....after all if that was the case they probably wouldn't be there in the first place......as a couple it's all about "joint decisions".............

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  17 years ago

  Good point coastcpl. I'm pretty sure you're right, the guys didn't seem to like me and instead of thinking about my own faults I assumed it was theirs. How totally pretentious of me. Whoops! LOL! I was only thinking about if the girl liked me, not the guy (as I wasn't really interested in directly pleasing him) I never thought of the fact that the guy should have equal input regardless, but it's so simple when it's been pointed out. Once again this probably comes down to my approach to relationships where I'll let her make whatever decision she wants. Thanks for your responses, it's given me something to think about. I'm really not the full on harsh bastard that I sometimes come across as! :)

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  17 years ago

  Blasphemer76, i know where you are coming from. I hate going to clubs and the females give me this look if i am even chatting to their man. Needless to say we have not been to any clubs for ages. I am not a bi female so the only reason i would be there would be to swing with other guys but it never seems to go down too well with a lot of people.

  reply

  like