F56

Dating fatigue

September 15 2019

I was wondering how everyone handles dating fatigue? For me it manifests as a behavior where I am over chatting, don’t respond to any messages (that person could be hot, great, but I’m “meh”), don’t want to go out and meet (tired of boring dates, dates that go well and being ghosted, or dates where the other person wants and you don’t, so gotta have the “no thanks” talk), don’t want to go to meet and greets, play parties. My background- last relationship of 6 months ended in April. Single for the last 3 years. Lovers here and there in that time. Just getting over a stressful time at work. I’ve been pretty much a dating/sexy meets hermit since May, I try and reach out, scheduling becomes hard, people pull out of anything arranged, and I do the fading bit just as well. I’ve taken breaks in the past, but the minute I get back into it, it feels the same. Heavy and hard. Have you experienced this? How do you manage it? - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

6 years ago

I haven't even had sex in over 2.5 years now, partly because I just can't be arsed dealing with all the bullshit that goes along with chatting with and trying to meet people. I just don't have the time or patience for it anymore. Unless it's someone that has really grabbed me with their profile and initial chatting....which has happened maybe two or three times in the last couple of years. The very few guys I have been interested in and tried to maintain contact with just end up ghosting or disappearing which just adds to the 'fuck this crap' feeling. I also realise that because I'm not willing to put in that time and effort it means I'm stuck in a bit of a vicious cycle, but TBH I don't know how to change it or even if I really want to.

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FeistyFatty

6 years ago

I seriously wish I knew. I am in that same funk right now. Not with my hubby, still very active and stimulated on that front. But everyone else, kinda can't be fucked to give a fuck🤷‍♀️. I struggle lately to find that balance of physical attraction and mental stimulation. Never used to though, have made some very memorable matches and friendships over the years but in the last year or so just seem to have hit a wall there. You're not alone ladies x

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teamaj2

6 years ago

Hi Chriscat I totally understand where you are coming from . Obviously our situation is different , as we are a couple. I am the communicator on RHP , kik etc . Sadly for us ‘real life ‘ beckons with work being a top priority, family commitments ( that I won’t go into ) . This leaves us no time or energy for chat , flirting , meet ups etc . We have let our membership lapse , for the first time since we joined and we will rejoin when life returns to a quieter pace . Obviously my husband and I have discussed it and it’s just the way it is for the time being . Maybe , for you it is the same . You need a break and some Chriscat time out . Goodluck Ax

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missy_mo0

6 years ago

I could have written this post word for word. I’m struggling to find the spark for it all. No words of advice other than to say youre not alone.

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RHP User

6 years ago

Ruthless; Brutally and forensically examine your position and value in the dating market. Adapt and adjust. Reckless; Get outside your comfort zone. Up, down sideways whatever it takes. I originally wrote several paragraphs expanding on the above but given the forums propensity to dismember messengers, that will have to do. 😃 good luck.

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AnnieWhichway

6 years ago

It may have been winter that killed it for me. Not feeling like venturing out but then didn't even feel like hosting. Tired of blow and go maybe. I get my fix from toys. They don't talk crap

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the2ofus4you

6 years ago

Fatfunfiesty if you and hubby would like too catch up for a drink one night please let us know We have a lot in common

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RHP User

6 years ago

I feel exactly the same. The lack of genuine connections have left me with no incentive or motivation to look for anyone right now. It's just too bloody hard. I'm working on me right now because I can rely on me lol and I'm not hard work.

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Cucknshells

6 years ago

I felt the way I did when I first joined over six years ago. Everything was new and exciting then. So many things I wanted to tick of my list. I had more energy and motivation. I did feel like a kid in a candy store. Unfortunately over time it wears you down. I became a bit jaded. Also life changes. I am more stressed than I was then. I had more me time and I felt better about myself. I am feeling my age more so now. Maybe I ate too much candy. Shells.PS Good topic. I think it is pretty common but I don't really know what to do about it.

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RHP User

6 years ago

I know the feeling especially in Cairns. Site trolls. Same old profiles with same old bs. You get talking arrange things and all falls flat or to hard. U know ur in trouble when visitors are complaining about people they met from here. Hang in there it will get better.

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RHP User

6 years ago

Very simple. Take a long break from here, and come back in a few years.

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RHP User

6 years ago

Thank you for sharing your experiences. We are not alone and dating has its ups and downs. Look after yourselves in any way that helps. For me I’m off to spend quality time with friends and a beach holiday. Sand, ocean and sunshine.

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The_Kali

6 years ago

I dunno.. rhp, small town like Cairns, same 6 women always online.. it's not dating fatigue on my end. I'm just busy and skeptical.. 😜

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RHP User

6 years ago

I imposed a hiatus on myself a couple of months ago, simply not bothering with any of it for a bit. If I get a message I'll have a look and maybe respond but aside from that simply can't be arsed. Like everybody else who has posted so far, there is just so much energy expended for such little reward. God bless Mrs Palmer and her five daughters - they never disappoint.

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abab1

6 years ago

We ran private parties in Townsville for a few years for fun, finished up at the start of this year. The good part about out parties is our city is small enough, and we had the time, to meet everyone that was interested in coming. It was based on couples with singles invited along to make it all work. We'd make sure people were genuine, nice and friendly and knew the etiquette.The good part about it was that a couple or a single would only have to meet us and then they'd get to come to a party where everyone else had already met us, they knew everyone was genuine and knew the etiquette even if they were newbies. Lots of socialising at the start, chatting and flirting and never any pressure to play. It always ended up with lots of play, new friends, names and number exchanged. So much easier than meeting lots of maybes online!

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EarthQueen

6 years ago

Ditto I got let down by last man I dated who I quite liked . So I removed myself off everything but here and I’m only here to forumize. Once that happens it takes me ages to be bothered again. Dating feels like Groundhog Day. I feel like every guy I meet on any platform wants to fast track sex (is that every man ever?) On here I understand, that’s kind of expected, but on other sites I wonder if I just have a big invisible sign above my head that says “fuck me asap “. Maybe I flirt too or give off wrong signals, I dunno. I guess if I’m the common denominator it’s probably me. Where’s the balance between being playful and building connection so that the sex will be less lack lustre? I’m a dating disaster. Ugh.

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RHP User

6 years ago

You basically just described exactly where I am at. Exhausted. Disappointed. Unsatisfied. Lost. Thank you

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RHP User

6 years ago

I just sort of give up for a while. Although... it's been a while now come to think of it..

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