M70
Dating stories - the funny side!
September 22 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I used to date (if you could call it that) a guy who lived in England. On one of his visits, after having told him about Fyshwick and the many adul shop there, he decided we had to go to Canberra for a kinky weekend and visit these stores. Lesson learnt from this trip: test bounciness of the bed in motels! He had a fantasy of me "pouncing" on him dressed up as a black cat. He even provided the outfit for me. So.....I asked him to dash out and pick something up from reception for me, giving me enough time to dive into the bathroom an squeeze myself into this cat outfit, complete with ears, fluffy tail and furry paws. He came back to the room and settled on the bed, and out of the bathroom I came, ready to pounce. And my pounce turned to bounce when I landed on the bed a little harder than initially intended, and to the side a little further than intended too. I bounced off the bed, hit the wall (it was this really small room where one side of the bed wasn't far from the wall) and landed on the ground with a hard thud. I spent the rest of the night nursing a very sore ankle which I had landed on. Not quite sure exactly what I saw in the English man with the cat fetish.
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playful4u
13 years ago
Quoting 'wiccan_beltane' I used to date (if you could call it that) a guy who lived in England. On one of his visits, after having told him about Fyshwick and the many adul shop there, he decided we had to go to Canberra for a kinky weekend and visit these stores. Lesson learnt from this trip: test bounciness of the bed in motels! He had a fantasy of me "pouncing" on him dressed up as a black cat. He even provided the outfit for me. So.....I asked him to dash out and pick something up from reception for me, giving me enough time to dive into the bathroom an squeeze myself into this cat outfit, complete with ears, fluffy tail and furry paws. He came back to the room and settled on the bed, and out of the bathroom I came, ready to pounce. And my pounce turned to bounce when I landed on the bed a little harder than initially intended, and to the side a little further than intended too. I bounced off the bed, hit the wall (it was this really small room where one side of the bed wasn't far from the wall) and landed on the ground with a hard thud. I spent the rest of the night nursing a very sore ankle which I had landed on. Not quite sure exactly what I saw in the English man with the cat fetish. Thankyou for making me laugh
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RHP User
13 years ago
that was the cat's whiskers,pyjamas and miaow,all rolled into one....tooooo funny
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RHP User
13 years ago
We were to meet at a local park. The park was surrounded by a five foot post and rail fence. I was aware of the main gate at the top of the park and gates at three of the four corners (the forth corner was adjacent to private properties). When I arrived on my Honda and parked in the side street, I could see Jen, seated on a park bench, nearby. I hung my helmet to the handlebars, stepped up to the fence and hoisted myself up and over. I felt pretty smug at my display of athleticism untill Jen's gaze and smirk caused my to look to my right. There was another gate, half way along the side street, little more than ten feet from where I jumped the fence.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Any time playful4u
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RHP User
13 years ago
Saw a very attractive Italian woman of about 60 appear online one time and knew that she would possibly cause the dating site server to shut down with increased demand. But, in the immortal words of Mr Tattersall, "Ye've got to be in it to win it, young John".So, it came to pass that I sent away a contact request with the presumption that I would never get contact in return.Well, it turned out that she wanted to meet. She and I chatted quite well on the phone with some reservations on my part, mainly concerning the vast amount of money she seemed to have.So, we had arranged to meet at a local cafe. I'm waiting there and about 15 minutes after the appointed time, I see her through the front window and then walking through the restaurant.It was like the heavens had opened and the holy choir was singing at the same time. She had on a cheesecloth dress with nothing on underneath apart from a G string (hands are getting shaky just recalling this), a pair of FMP's and a haunting perfume.Patrons of the restaurant were staring. Pools of slobber were being mopped up from the floor as she wafted past. Did I mention the 36DDs and that the cheesecloth seemed to be missing a large amount of material in a V shape in the chestal region?Because I certainly noticed and responded with dread and I'll tell you why, gentle readers.I knew, that for the next several hours, that there was only a small window that I would dare to look at. And that window was bounded by the top of her head and the bottom of her chin. Not once did my eyes slip in a Southerly direction - they were riveted to hers the whole time, despite what I'm sure were 2 siren-songs calling me to look just a little downwards.After a couple of hours, my eyes were watering and sore. But it was she who cracked first, and started to tell me about her breast augmentation and how they had been increased from BB to DD. What did I think of them?Dear readers, I never really believed the Penthouse Forum stories until then.....True story - keep smiling!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Freya13'that was the cat's whiskers,pyjamas and miaow,all rolled into one....tooooo funny
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RHP User
13 years ago
Displaying some machoism while attempting to not make it obvious??
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RHP User
13 years ago
I once got a cramp in my foot so bad whilst making out that I started moaning and groaning so loudly that the girl I was with at first thought I was cumming and said "Please dont come yet, pleaseeeeee"But when I stopped fucking and continued moaning and groaning (even louder) she then thought I was going to die on her and said "OMFG are you Ok?"I then crawled off her and started hopping about beside her bed, naked on one leg with a raging hard on, still moaning and groaning (loud enough now to set the neighbourhood dogs barking) she didnt know what to think and pulled the sheets up under her chin and gave me that petrified deer in the headlights look hahahhaShe did see the funny side of it later on and said she thought I was doing some kind of demented/drunken/drugged sex dance for her.PS I have several more but Im off for a fish right now :P
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playful4u
13 years ago
Quoting 'wiccan_beltane'Any time playful4u Do you still have the cat costume and are you willing to pounce?
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RHP User
13 years ago
After picking up my date, first date, from her house, we had a lovely dinner, a walk along the beach and a bit of a kiss in the moon light. I was on fire, making intelligent remarks and using my charm and wits to go effect ;) Then we got home and her house mate informs us of the death of my date's pet rabbit.. I slept alone. One rabbits foot may be lucky but fourin the air aren't
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RHP User
13 years ago
dead rabbit = dead pussy :pPS I got some fish :D
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RHP User
13 years ago
I once had a date with a guy who terminated the evening because he had a headache.
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RHP User
13 years ago
That was a good laugh!
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RHP User
13 years ago
When I had only been going out with my now husband for about 2 months he organised for us to go out somewhere special for tea and wouldn,t tell me where we were going but it was flash and he would pick me up around 6.30 so herolled up at my house at 6.30 to find I was nearly ready I went and bought a beautiful dress especially and having gone to the hairdresser that afternoon was feeling quite special he was wearing a slacks and a jacket so my mind was in over drive thinking where were are we going ,so off we go into the centre of bendigo with me thinking it cant be this place or that place because we have past the turn offs .then to my shock he turned into Mc Donanlds the look on my face must have been priceless as he parked still keeping a straight face until I said what are we doing here and he said this is a flash maccas but then cracked up laughing and pulled out and took me for a beautiful meal and we had a great night . We still joke about that night every time we go out for tea nearly 20 years later and I still suffer with his humour today
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'playful4u' Quoting 'wiccan_beltane'Any time playful4u Do you still have the cat costume and are you willing to pounce? Yep, still got it, but I'm afraid I've gained weight since then so it takes a little more than breathing in, hold it and squeeze myself into it to get into. I did take it out and show someone about a week and a half ago though. As for if I still pounce. No. I've since developed different cat moves. One of them being stalking
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RHP User
13 years ago
Those are so funny!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Years ago I was having a very hot session with a young man with alot of stamina. I wanted to change positions and I said "are you close to cumming yet?" He said yes all over your face. Poor man was having a nose bleed all over my face! He was so mortified, he got dressed and I never saw him again! Pusscat xxx
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