F56
Deception
September 01 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
con men and women would be out of work. Even if you wave a red flag to a bull and point out all the things you see, the bull will roll right on past you and stick its horns into you. The mind is often deceived by the hearts need. Life is messy
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Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
I don't entirely agree with what you've stated - it all depends on the purpose of what is trying to present itself to us. Ads are a good example - they are basically formed around 'deceit' to try and get you to behave in a certain way. But also, it may the intention of a person who wishes to deceive you - if they have a certain agenda to have you believe something or want you to part cash for something, they can often be quite convincing because they have to be. In those instances you are purposely being led to bypass your natural cautiousness, and indeed many people fall by the wayside in such situations. It has nothing to do with not paying attention as such (because even if you are, it is in our nature to be trusting). There are times when we may let our 'hearts rule our heads' because we wish to believe in something that is being shown to us or told to us. Not always for the good of us, of course. Tall
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'inthekiss' con men and women would be out of work. I think most con men and women succeed most of the time because we don't pay attention to the signs of their deception.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
That is true and I agree we should take responsibility for our decisions. However, sometimes, as you have alluded to above, it may be difficult as we are swayed by con people and they expertly manipulate our thinking and our emotions. Hard pill to swallow when the pin drops but often necessary for our learning. A lot of times, my decisions will be driven by experience, either direct or indirect (to friends or family). My intuition will normally react to a lot of obvious red flags when I interact with a person. Most people I meet are good and I will always enter a conversation or interaction with goodwill and positive vides, although I am cautious. There will always be the deceptive one or two but not often enough for me to lose faith or be jaded.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Intuition is all well & good, but is still just a judgment call, with no evidential data to bacck up yr possibly false belief. I have called people out for lying or deceiving me, based o. Intuition , & observed actions. The reply "NOOOO!!!!" Is usually forthcoming. There is then fuck all you can do to prove the intuition wrong or right...What then?? Is our intuition simply denial illusions of the mind, snap decisions about people and perceptipns that may possibly be very wrong. We are also being influenced by the “illusion of confidence” whereby con artists, politicians, corporate leaders & egocentric sexual partners have honed their narcissism to ;the false portrayel of 'trudtworthy & charming',,,,And when we see patterns where none exists and we jump to conclusions, we are vulnerable to the “illusion of cause and effect” . There is a place and time for both intuition and logic. The proof for each is in the consequences of our own actions, conclusions, thought processes insecurities and judgments. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is a craft which some men and women process ,some beat our defences and slip thru the cracks! Very real conundrum do we never let people into our hearts ,and minds! We all take calculated risks in love and life ,it's part of the journey I suppose! If burnt can only dust yourself off,and try again !
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love'But in my experience most deceptions come about because we don't pay attention, don't listen to our intuition and don't ask/challenge/test/call people out when things don't seem right. A lot of the time, yes. How often have women here who discovered a man was a jerk said that looking back they knew after his first message?The people who were blindsided by their cheating partner, who afterwards realised all the signs had been there all along? I think often people are able to be deceived because they don't listen to their gut, or willingly turn a blind eye. But I also agree with inthekiss. She and I have both come across plenty of psychopaths in our careers. By psychopaths and don't mean serial killers by the way, but those people who are outgoing, engaging, funny, complementary, etc, but are without a conscience. For those people lying is natural, because they feel no remorse and therefore they don't display the tell-tale signs of deceit "normal" people would.Many times I have had a person look my dead in the eye and tell me a story, or claim their innocence, and they would be utterly believable. Only when evidence presented itself I would know I'd been had. I'd hate to work in the legal system, that's for sure. I live by the saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I think anyone can be deceived, no matter how smart or intuitive they are. But allowing it to happen for a second time is something we are responsible for ourselves.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Fully agree BL, the vast majority of time people are deceived because they either want to be deceived, refuse to listen to the counsel of other or think they are smarter than the scammers. Look at the Nigerian scammers, they promise money for nothing and people think they are getting money for nothing. And the sad thing is a lot that are taken by these type of scams are intelligent people, they are just greedy. Same goes for the online dating scammers, people want to believe that person they have been chatting to is real and yes they really do need that $1,000 to get out of trouble. Every dating site I have seen, including this one, has a very prominent warning saying do not send money - how many here have actually read that little statement? I bet every person reading this can relate a tale of trying to tell a loved one, a friend or even just an acquaintance that they person they are seeing isn't a nice person and been told to mind their own business. All we can do is be there for them when it all turns to shit and try to resist saying "I told you so" !! Mooka
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' Quoting 'inthekiss' con men and women would be out of work. I think most con men and women succeed most of the time because we don't pay attention to the signs of their deception. Good con men succeed because they tap into a mark's deepest wants and then offer it back to them. They rely on people effectively wanting to be deceived. There are appalling stories of those Nigerian Petroleum scamsters continuing to extract money from people well after the people know they're being scammed, but can't quite admit it to themselves. None of this is to say no people are deceitful, just that we're complicit in the deception. Besides, it's always good policy to take ownership of anything that happens to you, and then to work out how not to let it happen again...
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playwithus742
11 years ago
This is a psychological process whereby humans will know something is perhaps unhealthy or wrong or dangerous for them, but will try and justify their actions to create a more comfortable standpoint in their own mind. Classic example is when someone is stuck in a horrible relationship, rather than "give up", they will try and justify why they should stay (kids/ mortgage/ no-one else to love me). This makes their unbearable situation somewhat more comfortable. So, yes , self-deception is rife. And that is often how scammers and cults thrive.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Deception is so much part of human behavior that it's really no surprise that some people are masters at fooling themselves, and others, and that some people take deception way too far. Social psychologists have found that we tell 200 lues a day, with only a 54% chance of knowing we are being deceived, thjs is slightly more than a wild guess. Intuition has NEVER been proven to change this statistic... Such is life., - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
There are people who slip through our defences. Skilled liars! We do, after all have a bias towards believing what we are told unless there is evidence to the contrary. I'm not going to go through life checking the facts, I'd prefer to trust. I have been deceived, most devastatingly, sometimes we ignore the red flags or are in denial, other times the red flags aren't so obvious or can be explained. I certainly don't get cross with myself about someone else's deception.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think we often don't want to see signs we are being deceived by someone. But what happens when the person decieving you has so effectively decieved themselves, they don't even know they are being deceptive? A loop is a loop is a loop is a. ..... you catch my drift. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
We all have built in 'lie detectors... Trust your gut and follow your Instincts ... and you won't get caught out.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'mooka' Fully agree BL, the vast majority of time people are deceived because they either want to be deceived, refuse to listen to the counsel of other or think they are smarter than the scammers. Look at the Nigerian scammers, they promise money for nothing and people think they are getting money for nothing. And the sad thing is a lot that are taken by these type of scams are intelligent people, they are just greedy. Same goes for the online dating scammers, people want to believe that person they have been chatting to is real and yes they really do need that $1,000 to get out of trouble. Every dating site I have seen, including this one, has a very prominent warning saying do not send money - how many here have actually read that little statement? I bet every person reading this can relate a tale of trying to tell a loved one, a friend or even just an acquaintance that they person they are seeing isn't a nice person and been told to mind their own business. All we can do is be there for them when it all turns to shit and try to resist saying "I told you so" !! Mooka Totally agree Mooka. So hand me that $5,000 now Loverboy and me love you LONG time and make you king of my village in Nigeria.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'mooka'Look at the Nigerian scammers, they promise money for nothing and people think they are getting money for nothing. And the sad thing is a lot that are taken by these type of scams are intelligent people, they are just greedy. They say it if it seems too good to be true, it usually is.But yes, the idea of getting rich quick is just too appealing for some. Very smart people are still being fooled by the Pyramid or Ponzi schemes. Also, what about all the quick-fix weight loss solutions? The powders, shakes, crazy exercise equipment, you name it.A lot of people want a fast cure for their problems, and common sense goes right out the window! Oh, and I just remembered the phony psychics who talk to the dead. They prey on those that want to hear from loved ones so badly they'll grasp on to anything.When the medium says "I have someone here whose name starts with the letter "J" they must be talking about dad John who died (sorry, "crossed over"), right? Right?! (Or maybe uncle James? Aunt Julie?) There is a lot of money to be made from people's wants, needs and insecurities and it makes me feel sick. (There's a miracle pill for that though, surely?)
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RHP User
11 years ago
of hindsight....... Be it intuition, gut feeling, signs or symptoms, all become clear when we look back at our actions.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' They say it if it seems too good to be true, it usually is.But yes, the idea of getting rich quick is just too appealing for some. Very smart people are still being fooled by the Pyramid or Ponzi schemes. Also, what about all the quick-fix weight loss solutions? The powders, shakes, crazy exercise equipment, you name it.A lot of people want a fast cure for their problems, and common sense goes right out the window! Oh, and I just remembered the phony psychics who talk to the dead. They prey on those that want to hear from loved ones so badly they'll grasp on to anything.When the medium says "I have someone here whose name starts with the letter "J" they must be talking about dad John who died (sorry, "crossed over"), right? Right?! (Or maybe uncle James? Aunt Julie?) There is a lot of money to be made from people's wants, needs and insecurities and it makes me feel sick. (There's a miracle pill for that though, surely?) Agree Meander. My psychic advised me exactly the same thing. . Now break over for me and back to work, as soon as I gulped down the last of this Fabblaster rapid weightloss shake and get off my 2-minute a day miracle abshaper machine I just got off ebay.
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RHP User
11 years ago
is a learning curve, sometimes you need the deception to keep you on your toes, once burnt, twice shy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Which I feel is the core of this post and how they succeed is exactly how burning has described it. Manipulators can expose our greatest weakness through their charm; and quite often are blinded to their actions because we seek the words they speak. Marketers and sales people are prime examples of this; but without malice. Their only aim is for the commission. That's their job right?? So buying into anything be it a car or sex; it pays to know what you want and have a checklist of sorts that show HOW this person can achieve the mutual goals of each other through both their words AND their actions. After all actions speak louder than words and I feel it's quite a sad thing when we at times only choose to listen to one form of communication. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
.......that there is always signs we are being decieved, often we only notice them in retrospect. We often let our own greed, ego lust or fantasy etc; to blind us to these signs. Hindsight is often so much clearer than our actual vision. And personally I'm a push over to deceive if someone has a nice set of tits!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' Quoting 'inthekiss' con men and women would be out of work. I think most con men and women succeed most of the time because we don't pay attention to the signs of their deception. Even the smartest of us all can be fooled. Work in any prison system and you will soon see that nobody is immune to the great con. Not even you. Oh what lies we tend to weave, when we practice to deceive the worst kind is self deception
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'inthekiss' Quoting 'Burning_Love' Even the smartest of us all can be fooled. Work in any prison system and you will soon see that nobody is immune to the great con. Not even you. Oh what lies we tend to weave, when we practice to deceive the worst kind is self deception Note some key words in my OP - I said hard to, not impossible to; I said most deceptions, not all deceptions; I said has been true for me always, not will be true for me always. The existence of grooming doesn't change my view that most of the time we allow ourselves to be deceived.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'lovman8' .......that there is always signs we are being decieved, often we only notice them in retrospect. We often let our own greed, ego lust or fantasy etc; to blind us to these signs. Hindsight is often so much clearer than our actual vision. And personally I'm a push over to deceive if someone has a nice set of tits! The key is that we need to learn from that. Some people do I guess, some people don't.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'cutie4u77' I think we often don't want to see signs we are being deceived by someone. But what happens when the person decieving you has so effectively decieved themselves, they don't even know they are being deceptive? A loop is a loop is a loop is a. ..... you catch my drift. - Posted from rhpmobile I wonder if that's what happens with a lot of pathological liars. I guess it also depends what's at stake. I might hear and accept a casual lie by someone, because there's nothing at stake for me if I believe it. There's no need for me to put effort into testing or challenging or enquiring further because the person is irrelevant to my life. If someone is more significant in my life or I'm going to make more significant life decisions based on what they say or do, I would pay much more attention to the signs of truth and deception, I think.
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Plain280
11 years ago
As in your first teenage conquests, it would start innocently such as the classic we saw you leave with whats her name, well what was it like? So the idea forms not being left out manufacturer it to suit. I get an F did not brag and nobody believed me oh well lets tell some porkies to fit. You get the picture deception in various forms are committed by individuals all through life, deceptions of an industrial strength well name one of the deadly sins and ye shall discover deception in one way or another.What is there do to do about rely on your in built intuition and commonsense and be cynical where necessary.You have ripped off , being deceived etc by as much as the next person, then ask yourself have you done the same to some one else. Now theres a nasty surprise waiting. Honestly.
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