M107
Dirty jokes/ naughty rhymes
December 16 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed. What’s the difference between a tyre and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit. What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me! What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts. What’s the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes. How is a girlfriend like a laxative? They both irritate the shit out of you.
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bonefide
8 years ago
Very good young lady, nice read this morning while having breakfast by the pool.
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RHP User
8 years ago
So...... a Mufti, a Rabbi, Donald Trump and a hooker all walk into a pig abattoir......
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RHP User
8 years ago
Roses are redViolets are gloriousNever sneak upOn Oscar Pistorius
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RHP User
8 years ago
What women from different countries think when being made love to; French - Viva la France. Viva la differerance! English - Lie back and think of England! Australian women - Biege. I think I’ll do the ceiling in biege! - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
8 years ago
Drives his Rolls Royce into a nearby gas station . Attendant comes out running a eye over the car while he's filling up, telling the rich driver what a nice car he has. Just then the wealthy owner bends down and golf tee drops out of his top pocket. The attendant pipes up " what's that for " ? Rich golfer replys ' oh that's what you put your balls on when youre driving ? Attendant : geez' them designers at Rolls think of everything these days ?
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Andremmo
8 years ago
In the garden of Eden sat Adam Complacently patting his madam And loud was his mirth For in all of the earth There were only two balls and he had'em - Posted from rhpmobile
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Andremmo
8 years ago
There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said there is one thing I do know The woman is fine The sheep is divine But the llama is numero uno - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
8 years ago
You're on fire today .. lol
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RHP User
8 years ago
What's the difference between a man and lifesaver lollies? The lollies come in 5 different flavours - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts. What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years, your job will still suck. Why do walruses love a tupperware party? They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal. What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore. Why did God give men penises? So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up. What do a woman and a bar have in common? Liquor in the front, poker in the back. What’s another name for a vagina? The box a penis comes in. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on? Fucking hot! How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it. What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check? Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus. How is life like a penis? Your girlfriend makes it hard.
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RHP User
8 years ago
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation. The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on me and stick me in a jar. The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they slice me up and put me in a salad. The Penis says, "You think that your lives are tough? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy they throw a plastic bag over my head, shove me in a wet, dark, smelly room, and force me to do push-ups until I puke and pass out!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Q: What is the definition of "making love"? A: It's something a woman does while a man is f*cking her. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Another Jack n Jill one, quite similar. Jack and Jill went up the hill, To have some hanky panky. Silly Jill forgot her pill, And now there's little Franky. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Couples were interviewed about problems in their sex life. 50% of women surveyed say their male partner suffers a premature ejaculation problem. 100% of men surveyed do not believe there are any problems. - Posted from rhpmobile
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twotootouch
8 years ago
There was an old man from KentWhose tool was all buckled and bent To save himself troubleHe put it in double And instead of coming he went
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RHP User
8 years ago
He knows where all the bad girls live.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have posted it on a joke forum before but I like it........... There was a young man named RickWho was born with a cork screw dick All his life he did huntFor a woman with a corkscrew c**tHe finally found one and got her to bedOnly to discover she was left hand thread
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RHP User
8 years ago
Roses are red, Violets are in bloom. Don't think it is safe, To use Oscar's bath room... Roses are red, Violets are beaut. For the toilets at the Olympics, He'll need one of Kim's nukes. - Posted from rhpmobile
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