F54
Disclosure of STDs
November 28 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
I don't ask because I don't believe someone would ever say "yeah, I'm currently being treated for chlamydia" etc. I always use condoms for penetrative sex, but I realise there's still the risk of catching something. Which is why I get tested every 3 months, for HIV, Hep B and C, syphillis, chlamydia, gonorrhoea and mycoplasma. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
100% of the time. No exceptions. Asking them though? Are they going to tell you if they haven't already and are still playing?
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RHP User
8 years ago
I’m the same as KissKiss.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Nothing we Do is without risk. Once I deal with the emotions of being personally attacked I’ll participate more. If anyone would like to PM me, go for it. Ask about my path. Talking is good for learning. I firmly believe between myself, technologic and midnight plus a few others we may be able to generate some healthy education. For me, having read and researched so much the last two months, it is not that I have HSV, but rather the lack of understanding and stigma. Touch, I wish you the very best but I will not engage with you anymore. Trust me, your words hurt me more than the tiny red spot that itched for a few days. Thanks midnight for the topic 🤗 B.B. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Did I miss something ? Sounds like I could have learnt something ? Or has that opportunity been swept away ?
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RHP User
8 years ago
Agree. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Shame.... It’s a little word that drives many to hide their status in fear they’ll be judged as unworthy of connection due to it.... I’m celibate and have been since Easter last year, ain’t nothing safer 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
But I always use condoms with new partners. What is vitally important though is if you do get infected with something it's your duty to tell anyone you've been sexually active with in the past 12 months. Also if someone calls you to tell you they've caught something don't be a dick about it. They're being responsible and looking out for you.
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DynamicCouple36
8 years ago
And that is to err on the side of caution and to assume that something (someone) is not safe until such time as it has been proven to be safe, and not the other way round. In the swinging scene, or any scene where there may be intimate sexual contact, full disclosure is very important. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
You don’t have to say you are being treated. Usually the doc says no sex while on the treatment which is usually 7-14 days or something like that. Ethical people will just say they can’t catch up because they are busy, or whatever reason they give others. They don’t have an obligation to say they have had an STI, right? It’s like asking how many sexual partners someone has had, chances are they have had something. Also depends on a persons immune system. I’ve contracted chlymdia before but my boyfriend didn’t even though we were both with the same people and each other. Women catch things more easily than men though.
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technologic
8 years ago
Naturally, I totally do. Mr still feels a bit awks about bringing it up but good thing he has me to do the talking. ;P I've also posted under the Just Sex topic about STDs on the 1st of July but had 0 responses since...I seriously thought that people on RHP just didn't care or wished to remain blissfully ignorant about that at all.. :P Thanks OP for opening up the discussion again. Sailbad: Unfortunately the mods have deleted my topic which started this ball rolling...which is a shame because I thought there was some gold on there. Since then a few other members who have HSV have reached out to me and felt grateful that someone was willing to talk about it constructively. I think the key to promoting more openness and dialogue is to stop the judgement, revulsion & scorn towards people who do have STDs. Yes the symptoms are gross but the people themselves aren't necessarily so. They deserve to be treated as people, not as their disease. The moment you don't keep the two separate, they'll just clam up and hide because who wants to be treated like that? Many people with herpes contracted it from their mothers at the moment of birth. Babies often get cold sores through loving & well meaning kisses/touch from relatives/friends. Should we hold them to blame for that? Most people who contract other forms of STDs didn't actively get themselves infected either, often they suffer a lot from the symptoms. Yet they're being judged, ostracised and alienated for something that wasn't solely their fault before they have even passed it on to the next person. And we expect that they're solely responsible for bearing all the social stigma of fully disclosing it to everyone? This is plainly victim blaming. How many people do you think still feel that it's incredibly embarrassing to go for STD tests? I know I still feel a bit awkward about it especially when the doctors ask about your sexual activity. There's still this big taboo over STI/STDs which is strange when we're all for sexual freedom & exploration. How can one have true sexual freedom if we ignore the 'unpleasant' side of sex? Do we live in fantasy land? It's like believing that women never fart or poop. ;P To conclude, those who wish to stay STD/STI free need to come halfway to create a conducive environment where those who do have them can feel safe to disclose that information. Everyone should also learn more about the different STDs so that they're aware of the risks they're exposing themselves and others to. It'll also dispel a lot of the fear behind the diseases because you'll learn how to protect yourself against it. -Mrs
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
You should come back, enjoyed your posts 👍 You’re good value. Need a skin thicker than a banana round here. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
For there wonderful support this morning. I have tears in my eyes for very different reasons right now. B.B. feeling the love of RHP 🤗 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I was accused by an ex lover of giving her herpies after she had been tested for STI's.What many people don't realise is without the symptoms or sores that go with herpies any test is meaningless as most of us carry the antibody even without the infection itself, the STI test (for herpies) throws up so many false positives it's meaningless.Turns out the ex lovers doctor was a right wing Christian loony who was using this to persecute and humiliate her, it also scared the crap out of me.I found the best source of information to be the state Family Planning and Sexual Health Services, they were able to provide clear information and explanations to myself and the ex lover and avoid a whole lot of angst, guilt and falsehoods perpetrated by the less than honest GP.As an aside she (the gp) was called before the board and given a dressing down over her behaviour.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I was happy to get this conversation going in order to remedy some of the damage that was done. Not everyone is ignorant and I think majority of people are aware of these things.It may not be something that everyone wants to discuss in a forum publically but to vilify someone publicly is not on and shame on anyone who does.I did not repost for anyone to disclose their status more for people to start a discussion or think about behaviour that may put them at riskOr to prompt people to find out more about it and be able to look after their own sexual health.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Amen!!
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technologic
8 years ago
Indeed! Some doctors even insist that they won't do the test unless you have an active sore they can swab from. So for those people who don't get a very severe initial infection, they wouldn't think of getting those checked because they'd think it's just a pimple or something. On the other hand a doctor told me that sometimes people could rid the virus from their body but the antibodies still remain. Therefore the test results still come out positive. Hence tests don't really mean anything without an active/recurring sores. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
You're celibate coz you're an ugly fucker 😂 But I'm happy to engage in a little Aural Sex with ya "Fuck you" (Yeah, it was good for me too buddy 👍😂) - Posted from rhpmobile
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technologic
8 years ago
I’m surprised that some of you don’t ask. Isn’t it the fact that people don’t dare/want to talk about it part of the stigma? Do you remember when sex was such a taboo in movies? Or how explosive the word fuck was? Or how scandalous it was to be having pre-marital sex? I think it’s much more beneficial for the cause of safer sex to ask (not to mention safer for your self anyway). If you’re not asking because you don’t believe that they’ll tell you the truth, how can you then expect that it’s their responsibility to tell you if they contract something later on? I find that logic a bit baffling. I believe that people generally would like to be honest and open. But they also don’t mind adopting a ‘if they don’t ask, there’s no need to tell’ policy if it won’t negatively affect their chances of getting laid. They probably also think that if no one asks it means they don’t care about it and why wake the sleeping dog? I don’t see this as being malicious but more of a ‘why should I care if they don’t care about it’ mentality or a ‘I’m still functioning and healthy in all other ways so it’s not a big deal anyway’.
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RHP User
8 years ago
This will be my last post for a while. I came into this scene 6months ago to explore my sexuality and push my boundaries. With exploration comes risk to my physical health, I knew that coming in. I've met some fantastic people, not all of them became lovers, some just friends to talk with. The regulars on the forums too. Of course, contracting HSV was not part of my plan, given the circumstances I wouldn't change anything. Precautions were taken but as some above have stated, not even condoms can prevent the transference of an STI. This is the case with me. After the initial shock and symptoms of the first Outbreak, which was bothersome but nothing major, my head space varied enormously on what to do with my exploration. I private messaged a few forum regulars, received lots of great advice and thus ultimately decided to not reveal on my profile, but during initial messages and face to face meets. Sure, Many have turned me down and that's completely understandable. I hold no ill will against any of those women, its solely their choice to make and I'm perfectly fine with that. I will not let HSV define who I am, sure, its made a huge dent in how I go about this. maybe I'll continue, maybe not. My emotional wellbeing is far more important to me than sexual exploration. I've been seriously rocked these last few days. I love that Technologic are so open and brave about their HSV and Its very possible that once my confidence rises again I will still be exploring and 100% disclosing my STI on my profile. Disclosure is the only ethical thing for me to do. How I do that is my decision and mine only. Thanks for the fun peeps, but for now I'm having a break. Cheers BB
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RHP User
8 years ago
It should be standard practice for you to be tested for all symptomless infections every 3 months. That's what I do and I also have my bloodwork done every 6. There's a place in Southport on the gold coast where I live that offers free screening and treatment without any appointment. The staff there are friendly, discreet and don't judge. The service is very quick, painless and I'm usually in and out in less than 30 min. your results are texted to you in a week. I'd highly recommend it
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RHP User
8 years ago
But should more than just swingers that do that. There are lots of people on this site that date a lot one on one who are not swingers, but due to the volume of sexual partners should be tested too. Actually, people who are not exclusive should be tested regularly really, in order to be safe.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I recently find out that people with HIV and are on whatever drugs they take can get down to such a low level That they are no longer infectious. That is, they cannot pass on HIV to others.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Sorry to hear that... I, for one, will miss your posts. Wishing you all the best xoxo
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RHP User
8 years ago
Bahahaha fucken stalker 😂😂 Btw I made you a video honey 😘😘 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
HPV. I have once before mentioned this particular std, which is the most common of all std's. In most cases people don't even know they have it unless, for a women she gets a abnormal Pap smear result or a wart and for men, a genital wart shows up. HPV can lie dormant in your body for years and for the wart strain it may not show up till 12 months after infection, and some people can be carriers and not show symptoms at all. It's one of the causes of cervical cancer and other cancers as well. There is now a vaccine that will cover you for some strains but it doesn't cover you for all, and if you don't get the vaccine before you become sexually active there is a high chance you have already come in contact with it. Would like to know what you all think about this particular Std? - Posted from rhpmobile
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technologic
8 years ago
Personally, I find HSV the most benign (although still unpleasant) of STDs since it doesn't cause serious damage. Besides the risk of cancer, HPV can also cause a lot of emotional stress especially if they grow quite large & visible as warts. Thanks for bringing it up Gypsy. Just reading a bit more about HPV now! Got the below excerpts from hpv.com.au The crux of it is basically making sure that your immune system is in tip-top shape (because most of it your body can get rid of) and don't sex binge? "Human papillomavirus, or HPV, is a common virus that affects both males and females. There are more than 100 types of the virus. In fact, certain types of HPV cause common warts on the hands and feet. Most types of HPV are harmless, do not cause any symptoms, and go away on their own.About 40 types of HPV are known as genital HPV as they affect the genital area. Up to 80% of males and females will be infected with at least one type of genital HPV at some time.Genital HPV types may be "high-risk" types (such as HPV types 16 and 18) that have been shown to cause some forms of cancers, or "low-risk" types (such as HPV types 6 and 11) that can cause genital warts.HPV is easily spread through direct skin to skin contact. Anyone who has any kind of sexual activity involving genital contact could get genital HPV. That means it's possible to get the virus without having intercourse. And, because many people who have HPV may not show any signs or symptoms, they can transmit the virus without even knowing it. A person can be infected with more than one type of HPV.It is estimated that many people get their first type of HPV infection within their first few years of becoming sexually active.Genital HPV infection is not something to feel embarrassed or ashamed about. It is very common and for the majority of people who have HPV, the body's defences are enough to clear the virus. Up to 90% of infections are “cleared” within the first 36 months. It could almost be considered a normal part of being sexually active. Genital warts are benign, flesh-coloured growths that are most often caused by certain "low-risk" types of HPV.Genital warts most often appear on the external genitals or near the anus of males and females. Genital warts may cause symptoms such as burning, itching, and pain. Up to 90% of genital warts cases are due to infection with "low-risk" HPV types 6 and 11. The types of HPV that cause genital warts are different from the "high-risk" types that can cause cancer.Genital warts are quite common. Approximately 1% of young sexually active people have them at any one time. After sexual contact with an infected person, genital warts may appear within weeks, months, or not at all."
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RHP User
8 years ago
From memory, something like 90% or more of sexually-active adults carry one or more varieties of HPV... I assume everybody carries it. WRT other STIs, I get tested regularly even if I haven't had a new partner since my last test. I've had cold sores, when run down, as long as I can remember, and was immunized against hepatitis B when a teenager - the antibodies showing up used to freak the doctor out! Lol... Recently I heard that my ex was telling people I'm HIV-positive and spreading it around. I haven't been a manwhore lately; I've got an uninterrupted sequence of negative tests going back years, and I'd expect any sane person who suspected me of carrying an STI to talk to me - not my friends, not my family (including a inappropriate discussion with my young daughter about my sex life, by the way), but ME. So I could take whatever action is appropriate. There are no words for how angry that made me. Anyway, I digress. Apologies for the rant. My point is that I'm absolutely willing to discuss my STI status - or lack of - with anybody who's interested. It's far too important to be a dick about it. Peace and love :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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technologic
8 years ago
Thanks for sharing. Shame that your ex resorted to that kind of behaviour. Maybe she got confused with HSV/HIV (I think many who don't pay attention can get it easily confused) and add on top of that the presumption that she doesn't approve of your lifestyle...? Hence why I sometimes think just telling 'everyone' about it straight up helps instead of them hearing Chinese whispers. All too often people prefer to indulge in gossiping & speculation rather than finding out the truth. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
To all of you for participating in this forum and to those who continue to follow it Working in the health industry I felt it was an important subject for people to talk about. I was horrified to find out my ex who was an IV heroin addict had Hepatitis C and only told me 6 months ago as we were not on speaking terms. I have since been tested for B and C and my tests were clear thank God.I also get tested regularly for other STD's. It is so easy to stand on the outside and be judgemental of people. It is also easy to be critical of things we don't understand especially when we don't know someone else's story. However exposing someone else's status on a public forum is such an invasion of privacy and wrong on so many levels.It is up to each individual to disclose their status and only to those who need to know unless they choose to do it on their profile. It is very brave for someone to disclose it publicly but they should not be treated like pariahs because they are being honest.
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Hawt1
8 years ago
Quoting 'Gypsy02' HPV. I have once before mentioned this particular std, which is the most common of all std's. In most cases people don't even know they have it unless, for a women she gets a abnormal Pap smear result or a wart and for men, a genital wart shows up. HPV can lie dormant in your body for years and for the wart strain it may not show up till 12 months after infection, and some people can be carriers and not show symptoms at all. It's one of the causes of cervical cancer and other cancers as well. There is now a vaccine that will cover you for some strains but it doesn't cover you for all, and if you don't get the vaccine before you become sexually active there is a high chance you have already come in contact with it. Would like to know what you all think about this particular Std? - Posted from rhpmobile Thanks for the info Gypsy. My comment is over immunisation and testing. I have paid for step daughter in Europe to be immunised against the cervical cancer version of hpv. I dont know how it is in Australia, is this given freely to female children here?I guess we only need to immunize half the population for this particular strain and children. I wonder if HPV is something they look for when you go for STI check up, or if we must ask for this test specifically?My STI checks are all clear, but do not know my HPV status... I would like to know, I will make a point to check it out.
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RHP User
8 years ago
There is definitely lots of risk that comes with being a swinger. It’s about mitigating the risk and understanding that you can never be 100% safe. You just can’t take people’s word that they are clean. That’s foolish. Regular STI checks and don’t kiss or suck anything with suspicious things growing on it. Derrr Not everyone can handle it, guess that is why not everyone swings or they have many rules in a very controlled environment. STI will continue to be passed around because people don’t get regularly checked.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I heard a story once of a guy who contracted the clap. He of course was cheating on his wife, but he asked the doctor for a repeat prescription of antibiotics and feed it to his wife for a week in her tea. She never knew.... how’s that for sneaky! Not sure if that is true or an urban myth?
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RHP User
8 years ago
I suspect the hot tea might have denatured the antibiotics so my money says myth. Good story but !
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RHP User
8 years ago
They have started immunising Kids here in their early teens for free in schools since 2007. Following is some information on the National HPV Vaccination Program Gardasil is a vaccine that protects males and females from a range of cancers, including cervical and anal cancers, as well as other diseases caused by human papillomavirus (HPV). It is administered as three injections over six months. Gardasil protects against infection with four types of HPV, known as types 6, 11, 16 and 18. Gardasil has been approved by the TGA for the prevention of the following cancers and diseases caused by these HPV types: In males aged 9 through 26 years: HPV infection. external genital lesions, including genital warts and cancers of the penis; and precancerous lesions of the anus; anal cancer; In females aged 9 through 45 years: HPV infection. genital warts; and abnormal cells and precancerous lesions (changes in cells which have a risk of turning into cancer) of the cervix, vagina, vulva and anus; cervical, vulvar, vaginal, and anal cancers;Vaccination with Gardasil is most effective when given to people before they are likely to be exposed to HPV through sexual contact, which is why the vaccine is given to females and males in their first years of secondary school through the (link is external)National HPV Vaccination Program as part of the National Immunisation Program It is estimated that up to four out of five Australians will have an HPV infection at some point in their lives. Although HPV is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections, most HPV infections are asymptomatic – meaning that they have no clinical symptoms. This means that people infected with HPV often do not know they have it, and can continue transmitting the virus to others. Vaccination will not alter or treat any pre-existing HPV infection or the development of any consequences of the infection. Treatments are available for some of the effects of the virus, such as genital warts and abnormal changes to cells in the cervix.
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Hawt1
8 years ago
Wow, so there is no cure for HPV actually. Only immunization. Also news to me that it can affect males (apart from the warts thing I knew).I wonder if they can test for all strains of HPV, if 4/5 men have it, I would like to think I am in the clear and could never pass it on if I found a special lady and we decided to go natural. If in the clear I would ask for that vaccine also. Midnight, thank you for passing on your knowledge X
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Hawt1' Wow, so there is no cure for HPV actually. Only immunization. Also news to me that it can affect males (apart from the warts thing I knew).I wonder if they can test for all strains of HPV, if 4/5 men have it, I would like to think I am in the clear and could never pass it on if I found a special lady and we decided to go natural. If in the clear I would ask for that vaccine also. There's something like 50 or more different strains of HPV, and at least 80% of the population have had / have at least one of the strains. As midnight said, in most cases there aren't any symptoms and it doesn't cause any problems. It's very likely you have had it / have it. Because of the very high likelihood of infection once people start having sex there really isn't much point to getting the vaccine past a certain age, that's why they only offer it free to children. Any woman who has had an abnormal pap smear result has had / has HPV. I've had two abnormalities now, the low grade ones that they keep an eye on with more frequent pap smears for a couple of years, but which usually clear up on their own.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Your welcome The sharing of information and experiences I think is pretty important especially on this subject. I guess the more people that aware the less the stigma and it is probably more common these days than people think
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