M52 F47
Discrete
December 09 2018
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
I think it's good to be upfront about what you want. Whatever it is. Don't have any problems with the word or definition. There will be some that will have a problem with it but that's their opinion not yours.
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RHP User
7 years ago
In the sense as you described Discrete is entirely appropriate. Having my private and professional life separate and not mixed with my sexual adventures requires discretion from both sides. The other side of “discretion” is about married people who seek an affair. So it can be a red flag, depending on where you are coming from. I suppose when I see discreet in someone’s profile I check carefully which one it is. Thank you for posting this. Keen to hear what others have to say.
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RHP User
7 years ago
It's code for cheating. It's just a shame many of us have a need for discretion as well.
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sw1ng3rz
7 years ago
We are exactly the same. Family and work means we need discretion and would give the same to anyone
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RHP User
7 years ago
Agree with Chriscat Discretion to protect professional lives and children is essential. However too many people are going behind their partners backs and using the word discretion to cover up something else entirely. For me playing with others without your partners knoledge is damaging to the partner both emotionally and physical risk in terms of unwitting exposure to stis and whilst kids may not know the details of dad or mum's absences they will know there's something going on and tension between their parent and his/her partner. Discretion in this case has a different connotation and one i struggle to get my head around. Straight forward honesty and integrity are the most important values imo
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sensualcple2play
7 years ago
Disagree with auflaurer, Discrete is not always ways code for cheating. How is it cheating when cples ask for discretion? Maybe a single guy it may! People don't want the world to know they are swinging 😎
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RHP User
7 years ago
As with any communication online- interpretations about the meaning of a word vary so- easy solution is to ask what the other person means by the word. Ours is to make sure our kids don’t need therapy if accidentally stumbling across us on this site. Others on here will absolutely judge that in a negative way- but that just means those are not on the same page as you so you’ve saved yourself some screening one :) Mrs LAL
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
i think it has both meanings ,just depends on who and why they are asking for it ,and it may be generalising. but genuine couples asking for it means no kiss and telling ,and a unverified male or couple ,no pics, very sparse profile with little info asking for discretion squeals cheatster that’s my opinion anyway mr b
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RHP User
7 years ago
Dont show up to work and say..hey remember that swingers party over the weekend out loud so the non swingers know what you did? Discreet means not getting out of a car in skimpy lingerie. Leave something for the imagination. Dont inform the neighbors what may or may not happen. Discreet is when there is a gangbang in a hotel room. You go to bell hop or the admin office and say..Hi which floor and room is the gangbang is there power for the rodeo powered dildo in the rooms. Discreet is when you get called to a house to meet a hotwife and do not inform the kids...hey kids when you go to sleep daddy, mum and I will have a threesome. Discreet is when a couple are dogging at a park in a car, you do not ask the ranger, hey Mr.Ranger where is the white car with a towel in the window ready for dogging by a couple. Discreet means have respect. Consider others considerations. Discreet is a deal, if agreed dont break it.
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Dirtyandfriendly
7 years ago
Depends on the context. I met a girl who lived a very normal life but was kinky as hell and needed to be discrete about it. Just depends
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Unless one works for ASIO, Russian Mafia, The Fench legionnaires or The Italian secret service, then they better be bloody magnificent to be able to detach to whatever it is they are attached too. The swinging/dating world is so incestuous, one just never knows what might happen or could happen or who one meets. It's a risk to take as nothing here is ever discrete. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
To me discretion means we don't talk about 'the lifestyle' to others except us or people we wish to invite in, no sharing of photos, or sharing of identity, work, names, contacts ect. I met a girl just recently, and the first minute I met her she told a bystander that we were going to a swinger's party; and there was a girl that showed photos of me and my face to her co-worker- those were real no-nos for me.
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RHP User
7 years ago
A one night stand.
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RHP User
7 years ago
On the quiet.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Everyone using 'discreet' is attempting their own risk management style in this fora. One profiles level of risk may be different to the next. Words on an electronic screen aren't much until youve discussed assessed and validated people/persons in person. The 'World wide web' connotates spiders and there's more than a mere few on RHP.
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RHP User
7 years ago
The word discreet needs to be read in context. It could be taken both ways which in other things could be interesting.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Discrete to me means I have a wife, don’t expect me to reply to messages outside of business hours, and I’ll probably go awol at time of meeting, which had probably been arranged for a vacant carpark
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi there. We like to use this term in regards to keeping our private life private as you do - however I have come across some other interpretations of the word also. Often used in a profile when there might be another half/partner/relationship present who is unawares of what might be going on. I’m certainly not here to judge - each to their own! It can also be used on a profile of a straight man who is in the closet but would like to indulge in their true sexual desires whilst maintaining a heterosexual cover. So sometimes single men may wonder why they are recieving messages from gay men when they use this term in their profile. So different things to different people! Cheers - Mrs Rudefun x
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
If your private life depends on discretion then perhaps you shouldn't be in the swinging game. Not as though you can announce over the pa system at a club that you require discretion from everyone. There is always just 6 degrees of separation from everyone there and your family members. Not kissing and telling is a no brainer for decent people but unfortunately there are plenty of indecent people and a noticeable shortage of brains about
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RHP User
7 years ago
Whoops. Posted to early in the morning. The spelling part of my brain was obviously still sleeping.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I totally disagree with the view discrete means cheating. Sex is a mostly private matter between the participants. It shouldn't be broadcast outside the immediate circle. I mostly avoid being photographed in a group situation so as to avoid being distributed outside the circle. Discreet just means keeping the secret.
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
I believe there is a difference between being discrete, discreet and respecting ones privacy. I do believe many get them confused. Discreet: careful and prudent in one's speech or actions, especially in order to keep something confidential or to avoid embarrassment. In other words how one behaves. Discrete: individually separate and distinct. In other words are able to seperate/detach. Privacy: someone's right to keep their personal matters and relationships secret. In other words, he best k-kept secret is never shared. Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
IMO, does not mean "cheating" in coupled relationships. Many people in open relationships are able to detach emotionally when they are with their other lovers. Single people can be discrete too. Being discrete is a self-learnt detachment behaviour. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks for that, I'm a lazy typist especially on the phone. That's my point exactly, now for nucular and nuclear 😋
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RHP User
7 years ago
Discretion vs Discreet... This can be defined by making the decision to run your partners tooth brush over your balls, but only when they’re asleep... 😂😂
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RHP User
7 years ago
Meant as a couple we didn't want to be news of the week. Simples, 🍑
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FredAndGinger2
7 years ago
There's just one rule about the swinging club: don't talk about the swinging club Hehe
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RHP User
7 years ago
The non swingers think it is all keys in the bowl.
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Im not a swinger, and i don't think its keys in a bowl.
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RHP User
7 years ago
You are on this site though. My knowledgeable than some.
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RHP User
7 years ago
More
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SalaciousSam
7 years ago
I for one like seeing discreet in a profile. If it's a couple I know they likely see their identity and lifestyle choices as something private as I do as well. If it's a single (and yes I often take it to mean seeking an affair of some sort), then I'm more reassured that I'm not being used as a pawn in a relationship (especially one that already has tension in it).
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RHP User
7 years ago
Discrete screams out ' i dont want to ne caught by my partner' In my experience anyway
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RHP User
7 years ago
HiDiscrete for me gives a certain level of being polite, a like mind.Now the rest of the profile info should be enough to paint a picture so to speak.Attached? Open-minded?I don't see the point in asking someone who is not into the same things or accepts your situation.
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RHP User
7 years ago
At the risk of being indiscreet I have to say something....DISCREET
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RHP User
7 years ago
So basically don't be a dickhead and show some respect?
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RHP User
7 years ago
I remember the time you thanked me for the thread I started with the article based on a study about people who correct grammar being jerks. I laughed when I looked at it recently after that same article popped up online again. Turned out the jerks were the blogs etc who didn't like the bland heading of the actual study so they jazzed it up to suck in more attention. But yeah, ironic. 😂 🍑
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RHP User
7 years ago
Could have been demonstrated with a private message considering your stance as previously posted? 🍑
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RHP User
7 years ago
I'd appreciate a message if you don't mind. Peachy 😊
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RHP User
7 years ago
Nice play on Nazi, I also remember the time you commented on that in regard of another poster's point n how seeing the word made her feel. Sorry for the excessive off topic RedMustang! Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Haha I am glad the grammar 'nasty' got in first and saved me having to do so. 🤣 I admit when I see discreet (or discrete, because I generally just accept that people frequently misspell) I usually ask if they are cheating. But maybe that's because, for me, I auto-assume that the rest goes without saying. So yes, I hear the warning bell, but I check to clarify it's not just my wind-chime going off...
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RHP User
7 years ago
you need to be discrete if you are hiding things from ; a)your professional life b) your kids c) your wife or b) your husband. let he/she who does not need discretion cast the first stone.
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JuanMaestro
7 years ago
for it's appropriate, discreet for a separate kinky life
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RHP User
7 years ago
Married..
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RHP User
7 years ago
Interesting. I’ve always read discretion as someone is married or has a partner they don’t wish to know what they are doing. However reading comments it’s made me aware that it also is a suggestion of privacy for personal and family reasons. Always nice to learn things. Thank you for making me feel more learned you wonderful people.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Yes no doubt there are a lot of people on RHP who cheat and ask for discretion for the obvious but there are also a lot of couples and legit singles on RHP who have careers and family to protect. Asking for discretion should be a simple request to respect ones (or twos) privacy. Not everyone understands or respects playing couples or singles who enjoy the clubs and parties that are out there for those that enjoy them. Couples/singles who play are across all walks of life, shapes, sizes and professions. Many have kids both young or grown up and for this reason ask for discretion. It should be a given however it rarely is.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Discrete = individually separate and distinct. Discreet = careful and circumspect.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Aaand now I see that someone already pointed that out.
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Great_vibes
7 years ago
The word can be applied in many contexts, and everyone has a their right to privacy. To assume that it means cheating or a negative meaning is just ignorant and judgemental. Those are people you want to avoid, not the ones the use the word discrete.
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RHP User
7 years ago
'Discrete' means separate, individualised? 'Discreet' means cautious tending to the secretive? Sorry to get on the usage soapbox for a moment. shows my age. Anyway some situations cant be openly resolved to anyone's satisfaction. The reality is that people (ok 99% guys) do a lot of stuff that others do not and need not know about. There isnt such a thing as a person who doesnt have a secret.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Married or attached but also their line of work
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RHP User
7 years ago
Ah, you actually mean discreet. Discrete is a totally different word that means "in separate parts".
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RHP User
7 years ago
In my experience it's meant people who have something to be worried about if this is discovered. I've experienced it with married women, women who have appearances to keep (especially when exploring BDSM for example) and then those who have been brought up thinking sexual exploration is taboo and dont want anyone finding out they are sleeping with multiple people. Everyone has a reason.
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joanne1991
7 years ago
Whenever I see discretion it raises red flags, let’s face it everyone on here would expect that, not necessarily get it, but my response to people that mention discretion is always the same, what? No I’m hiring a billboard to advertise “I met you for sex with your picture highlighted” lol
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RHP User
7 years ago
I definitely understand your definition of discreet but I do think in that context it's a little redundant. When would you meet their family/colleagues to be non discreet? And by chance you did, I doubt the first thing one would say would be in relation to any sexual antics! If it's couples using the word, I tend to not worry much about it but yes do personally think it's a bit silly. If it's a solo man though, it's always redflag for me that they are cheating. And whilst no judgement, not a situation I want to be tangled in x
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curiousgirl35
7 years ago
Discretion: zip your lips and let the fun take over!
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RHP User
7 years ago
I have that word in my profile.To me it means private and confidential, rather than public and out there for all to see.I have permission to play, but I want to be private, but not anonymous. As someone else wrote it doesn't have to mean a 'red flag'.All of us with any semblance of filtering and preference, will see through any b@llsh&t anyway.Happy and discreet at the same time
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RHP User
7 years ago
Discretion is respect.
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Upforsomefun10
7 years ago
I think this is different between couples and singles. As a couple discrete sounds like ppl just want to keep things private. But if were a single on here and wanted to be discrete definitely sounds like you are cheating.
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eroarts
7 years ago
Yes, meanings often become so complicated in messages, the difference between discreet and discrete, so often confused (first to put my hand up here) Even discretion, as in being careful and circumspect, or, to use my discretion to decide!I find that chatting on the mobile, early, the most effective in - finding meaning - Also an excellent security measure with numbers so easily blocked, traced or reported.As sweetnsensual said - Straight forward honesty and integrity are the most important values -
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RHP User
7 years ago
Doesnt anyone and everyone involved in this lifestyle want and appreciate discretion..? I think people who go out of their way to point it out, and more than likely have no photos, or they are all private, has more to hide than most of us.. Imo
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RHP User
7 years ago
I also mean discreet is between all parties who play
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RHP User
7 years ago
I did want to offer you a tip that I thought might help, but all good. Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
What happens with consenting adults stays with us. Well written
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atomicblonde
7 years ago
I encountered the word discrete used more times than is necessary in a profile I viewed. Straight away I looked at said persons relationship status and saw they said separated. Already suspicions were high. So I chatted to the person and asked when they were available. Despite saying they worked days and were unavailable at night apparently they could work around me. The reason given because of young children. But on direct questioning from me admitted he was very married. Immediately blocked but not before being told to be honest on his profile. How do these liars expect to find anyone and why even bother when you have no free time anyway? Quite a waste of time. So now I run a mile when I see that word for a reason!
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RHP User
7 years ago
First thing I see is the wrong word. It’s discreet, not discrete. Discrete means separate, distinct.
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bonefide
7 years ago
Maybe people are, shy, private, and profession and or family type, unless u have spoken to this person, your assume they are cheating, married, hiding something. Warning bells !!!!! I’m assuming its like engine temp light, pressure/heat comes up, and warning bells go off on reading those words. Assumptions are like arseholes, everybody has one.
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RHP User
7 years ago
As Anniesavoy says, get clarification before assuming. We prefer the word respect. Being discreet relies on trust, can we get that fully here? We can ask for respect and hope it's reciprocated.
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RHP User
7 years ago
When i see the word discrete i interpret it to be an affair. Discretion in the sense of keeping social and work life seperate and private to me goes without saying.
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RHP User
7 years ago
In my experience the word is used as an excuse for cheating, or by men who seem to think they are punching below their weight to be with me. I've actually had someone tell me they wanted to be discrete and then in the same breath tell me that means if he runs into me in public he would just pretend he doesn't know me. Someone hand that man a dictionary. I hear the word discrete now and have a visceral reaction to it. Mind you, having just been led on for weeks by someone who claimed to be single only to find out they are married, I hear the word "man" and have a visceral reaction to that too. Anyone know when the sex robots will be available on afterpay?
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MnauMnau
7 years ago
Although, English is not my first language, there are differences between discrete and discreet. I understand in your context and situation as a couple I would say, that you would like to "protect" your privacy, your family, career etc. - to be discreet/diplomatic. There is no need to discuss it with others and it's mutual. However, if I have on my profile "Looking for Discreet Affair" I would be seen as a cheater, no matter if I'm single, separated, unattached, divorced or ask me. But I still want to protect my privacy.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I apologise in advance to anyone I might offend but I just wanted to say: The words discrete and discreet are pronounced in the same way and share the same origin but they do not mean the same thing. Discrete means 'separate', as in a finite number of discrete categories, while discreet means 'careful and circumspect', as in you can rely on him/her to be discreet.😜 Discretion to me means: first, use your good sense, and second, respect the other person's boundaries around privacy. Aspects of kink are still quite taboo in mainstream society, what we do others may not understand and it can affect people's personal and professional lives. It's important to be aware of that in our interactions with one another. But really, this should be a given - if you have to drive the point home perhaps choose another playmate.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Not every single man who wants discretion is a cheater. I was in a relationship for a very long time where my partner plain and simple did not like sex or any other form of physical affection. She didn’t have a affectionate or sexual bone in her body and refused to see anyone about it as she didn’t find it a problem. In fact her opinion was that I was the one with the problem as I needed sex or affection of some sort to continue to feel an emotional connection. We tried for quite some time and open relationship, as in I could see other girls as long as she didn’t have to be exposed to any details. The rules were that I was to keep it discreet and never make her aware of it. This went on for a while until there was just nothing left on my side for a connection. She did not understand as she still felt love and a strong connection. It got very messy but the point is that utmost discretion wais required yet I was not cheating. Just another side of the coin.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Discrete in a single profile is most likely cheating, but as a couple we have always referred to it as keeping things on the low down I.e. not kissing and telling, keeping it part of our private life as it may be likely we will come across mutual friends or possibly people we know.
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RHP User
7 years ago
An affair
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RHP User
7 years ago
Prematurely sent the previous comment. To me, it’s all of the above. Keeping it quiet, whether that’s keeping quite on our hot one night stand or keeping quite on our affair.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Is the better part of valour.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Bit like talking from a dating site to your email and start chatting away then they say you have to stop emailing me here my husband might see my email let’s go to this site and chat.. I hate that so I’m over dating sites cause that just frustrates me why start conversations if your married and if he treats you badly leave and get a divorce why put up with it cause if he found out you were cheating on him it would make things even worse I think
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