F71
Do women have a sense of entitlement?
March 28 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
My friend and I take it in turns to pay as we go to restaurants and movies, plays, etc and that gets expensive. I think at first he found it a little awkward as he instinctively wanted to pay, or at least that was the impression that I got. For other men, I often will offer to pay my share on a first date, but I don't argue the point if they insist on paying. If this leads to an ongoing situation I insist on sharing the costs equally. Sometimes you pay, sometimes I pay. There are definitely Princesses that expect to be wined and dined and treated to nice hotels. The most awful opening line that I sometimes recieve from men is "Are you ready to be pampered and treated like a Princess" What? Yuck dude, no way, that's sick!
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RHP User
11 years ago
It is also the old traditions as well. Like women get engagement rings, you send them flowers on valentines day or when you pick them up for a date, bring them chocolates, etc. These things are seen as romantic gestures that say a man cares but does it create the expectation that if a man doesn't want to do all these things for you that he isn't really interested or doesn't care?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I read your heading and thought it was about sex........................
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RHP User
11 years ago
As long as it's not an all expenses paid return trip from Hawaii. I have often paid on the first date and I offer to do so. With on going dates, I have found out that sometimes I pay sometimes she pays works well. As with flowers and chocolate for every date, I would say no. I think that I would come across as a try hard and maybe a little old fashion (which isn't a bad thing at times). Don't get me wrong, common manners and respect shouldn't be thrown out the door either. Majority of the time, I wait for my date to be seated before I do. If a door needs to be opened, happy to open the door for my date. When waking, I will always walk to the closest side of the road. Is this something that most guys do? I would like to think that when it comes time to pay that both parties are comfortable with the decision as to who pays and that the party who isn't doesn't feel uncomfortable about it.
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aussian43
11 years ago
I have found when time comes to pay for the meal the ladies will start digging through their purses offering to pay. I then offer to pay for the whole thing. For several reasons, I prefer to pay via paywave these days, don't want to stuff around splitting the bill, or accepting cash from her, it may be the old fashioned gentlemanly approach but I feel more comfortable with it, and these days I can easily afford the cost of a meal, so those few dollars don't worry me. However, If the meal had gone badly and I would never want to see her again, I probably would accept the offer. Sharing costs for accommodation never came up. I am not sure what the convention for it would be, maybe I just feel so lucky to be spending the night with a lovely lady that I won't risk putting her off. :) But again, I can afford it, and it doesn't happen that often that the cost is a concern. A night of passion is well worth the cost.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I like to pay my way. I always have. We chose to do something together, or stay somewhere, then we share the cost. Unless of course I married them and did some breeding. Then its" hand over the paycheck hubby!!"😳
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6exxy
11 years ago
Love it you always think it's about sex! Ha ha ha ha Hmmm but is it?😜
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RHP User
11 years ago
Should there be glass ceilings or not, should everyone be equal or not, should men feel the need to look after and protect their woman like they have for thousands of years, be chivalrous, or accept women as equals. Should woman open car doors for men, should woman have the power (like on RHP) to choose whom she likes and the men have to accept it, or do woman want the power over men when it suits and to be equal all other times ??? Way too hard for me... Personally I like to open a car door for my woman occasionally and pay for dinner occasionally, bit old fashioned like that, but not all the time though. I believe in equality and have no issues with working for a woman or man (boss is a boss); however, if woman want equality, maybe they should practise it on all fronts, not just when it suites, or does that stuff up the whole way of things and bring the universe out of alignment ?
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RHP User
11 years ago
but I do like to take turns paying. If my date pays for dinner, then I pay for the next or have them over to my house and cook. I don't keep score, but I think things should come out evenly enough that no one thinks about it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Keepitsimple72' but I do like to take turns paying. If my date pays for dinner, then I pay for the next or have them over to my house and cook. I don't keep score, but I think things should come out evenly enough that no one thinks about it. I think you have the right idea, and I agree, you should not have to keep score, it should just come out evenly enough without having to think too much about it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
One thing that put me off dating from here is that I ended up paying for everything. I'm a generous spirit by nature and I really have only myself to blame. Having said that, I know that if I pay, I get what I want and that makes me happy. Catch 22.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I sit here in the cabin of my truck. Silent. The sound of cars passing by occasionally in this small but very well known town in NSW. There's some noise coming from the north and sounds like a PA system although I've not heard it for a while now; but I think it was the local rugby league game but while you're alone and reading stuff on here and on Facebook you can lose time as if it were like an episode of days of our lives lol. I read this post and the very first thing that came to mind was yes. I do think that there are those that have an expectation for men to pay.... But then I looked upon the interactions that I've had in the past with women that I saw as friends, and of those that I've had an interest in and I honestly can't say that any one of them have ever said or implied that they wanted me to pay for anything. In fact; I've always automatically offered only to be met with "are you sure?" Of course I've always said "fuck yeah....if I can't shout a coffee or a meal then there's something severely wrong....but you can pay next time 😊" which has always been met with "deal!!" This brings a few questions into my mind....why did I just automatically offer to pay just because my company is female?? I mean honestly; me and my male friends don't do that shit...If we're looking at going out for a night on the piss, and I say "Nahhh.....can't afford it". I'm never going to hear my mates say "awwwww ok well I'll just pay your way tonight....but you can pay for me next time yeah??" That's never going happen....cos my mates would end up ordering Johnny walker Blue or something ridiculously priced like that....and....they'd just say "oh...ok...well that sucks arse for you then eh?? Cos it's gonna be such a blast!!!!" Like as if they're not gonna go to a Bon Jovi concert or something like that just cos I'm a dumbarse with my cash right?? Lol Of course not...... So then why do it to a prospective partner?? I mean just cos they're of the opposite gender does that make them far more superior than me?? I don't know about others but bugger me if I was constantly having stuff paid for like that I'd start to feel like I was less than independent, like I'm some kind of financial cripple just because of my gender.... I can see it now "oh...you're a woman/man....my condolences....here let me buy you a coffee!!!" Lol... Yep that's gonna make them feel just awesome.......like caffeine or a meal is going to save them or impress them or whatever. So I just offer them the choice and respect their answer without guilt, and without any feelings of obligation to "return the favour." This allows them the choice to be independent....it also helps to support my "no expectations and no guarantees" policy, as there's nothing more damaging to a good night out than to end up feeling as though one of us missed out on something or that our interactions are anything more than enjoying the person that we admire enough to invite into our lives; for however short a time. Jesus....I hope I've actually stayed relevant to the topic lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Did you just channel Mado?? Thats the longest post Ive ever read from you. But all relivant to topic. True how its inbuilt ( inbred?)for a guy to automatically go for the wallet. Then its up to the female to either say nothing and expect you to pay, or pull you up and offer to pay their quota. With someone Ive started seeing,I tend to let them know that I will be paying my way when we first organise a dinner/accom etc.( especially something as big as accom) I dont wait until the wallet gets pulled out afterwards. That way both parties know what the others intensions are without assumptions. So stiry, when you are in Bris next time, we go halves in the maccas bill ok?
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RHP User
11 years ago
but I have a girlfriend who I catch up with regularly for Sunday brunch and from the start we initiated an "I pay this time, you get the next one" routine. It's not a matter of either of us not being able to afford it, it just makes more sense than studying the bill for who had what. I do find though that most guys expect to pay for the first date, I don't argue if I know I'm planning to see them again because I know I'll get the next one, but I will try to pay half if I know that I don't want to see them again.
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RHP User
11 years ago
bahaha I have my moments of Steven Kingery lol Maccas??? I'm shocked that you would think I would use maccas!!! When are we going?? 😜 - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Fiercely independent, I'm always up for paying my way, in fact I wouldn't except a date if I was unable to pay my way. I'm also very selective as to who I go to dinner with and wouldn't choose a dinner for a first date, second or third yes, but not first. I prefer to go for a coffee or a drink on a first date, that way I can shout the next round.... 💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
I dont do dinner as a first meet, drinks or a coffee yeah, easier get away if not going well.But then again, I dont often do that at all. Thats only when Im not 100% sure.... 😜 But Ive hung up the meeting boots for now. No playing the field, just sitting on the bench... Watching the world go by
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RHP User
11 years ago
Could it be that it is inbuilt and could it be because woman have generally always earned less than men, therefore a courtesy thing. .......and don't bother coming at me with this equality bullshit either.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If a man pays for more than cawfee .Is there an expectation of sex?xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
Did you really just say that!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I did want to mention about context as well... But I wanted to make my post an opinion not a nasa instruction manual 😝 But I agree...context I think is everything - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Inspirit I did ...I know you don't do cawfee 😜xxFreya
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
If men don't pay, is there a chance of sex?
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RHP User
11 years ago
it's my belief that sex is always an option.... It depends more on the connection than the financial - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
If theres a chemistry, you can skip the coffee altogether ☕
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RHP User
11 years ago
I always go halves. I would never expect a man to pay for everything, why should they?
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RHP User
11 years ago
..it sounds to me that you may just be insinuating men expect sex, if they pay for more than coffee. Personally, I find this absolute terrible one would even think that. In all honesty I tire of reading shit like this in the forums and in the chat rooms. Men are painted with such tarred brushes. If I was a newbie, I would be thinking men on RHP are all wankers and have Little respect for woman on here. On the contrary I have found it to be quite the opposite in most meetings and chats. Have I taken it the wrong way? I paid for the hotel room the other night and was I expecting sex........NO...... Why the fuck would I?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am simply asking a question,not stating an opinion..I seem to often annoy you with my opinions..so as I said to you that I would no longer comment on your posts,please do me the same curtesy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
In my case, if weve gotten to the point of talking about getting a hotel room, its because weve both agreed on getting down and dirty. So its a given that its not gonna be a slumber party with pillow fights... Maybe some pillow biting though. 😜
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RHP User
11 years ago
....and I wont apologise for it. It is an open forum and people disagree all the time and misread things.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' If a man pays for more than cawfee .Is there an expectation of sex?xxFreyYes I think that there is a level of expectation when a person meets a person from a sex site that there will be a good chance of sex. If a man pays for a fancy dinner and a hotel room, then yes I think he expects sex. If he pays for dinner in a first date, than no I don't think he expects sex. Hopefully might be a better way to describe it. That is why I prefer to pay my own way and drive myself to places. I don't want to feel beholden to anyone. Whether it is because I am very independent I am not sure.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' ..it sounds to me that you may just be insinuating men expect sex, if they pay for more than coffee. Personally, I find this absolute terrible one would even think that. In all honesty I tire of reading shit like this in the forums and in the chat rooms. Men are painted with such tarred brushes. If I was a newbie, I would be thinking men on RHP are all wankers and have Little respect for woman on here. On the contrary I have found it to be quite the opposite in most meetings and chats. Have I taken it the wrong way? I paid for the hotel room the other night and was I expecting sex........NO...... Why the fuck would I? Hate to break it to you Inspirit. If a man pays for a hotel room and you have agreed to stay there. Then yes he expects sex. I agree that most blokes are decent but there are also guys that do expect that women here will put out and that they are a sure thing. I think the forums are 75% people whinging about why men don't treat women with respect and men whinging about why women won't put out. It gives a bad picture of everybody. There isn't much interesting debates really. But you know what they say, you never hear the good stuff but people will complain when they don't feel they have been treated well.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Actually I revise my statement. Forums are 50% whinging, 25% about cock size, sex, tight pussies, etc and 25% more interesting questions that lead to discussions.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Hate to break it to you Inspirit. If a man pays for a hotel room and you have agreed to stay there. Then yes he expects sex. I agree that most blokes are decent but there are also guys that do expect that women here will put out and that they are a sure thing. In my experience we have generally exchanged a mutual understanding, that if we get it on we do and if we don't we don't. Either way we will have a fun night. However I am now speaking for men. But you can break me any time Meeka
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RHP User
11 years ago
I figure I'm entitled to respect and positive human regard, everything else is negotiable. Expectations about sex if they shout more than coffee?. . . .some do, some don't.
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RHP User
11 years ago
that is I pay for my drinks, my meal, my transport - he pay for his own...no issues no dramas..and most importantly no expectations.
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RHP User
11 years ago
...it makes everything seem like an arm's length transaction. I'll always pay on the first date, and offer to on other ones, although I find most women want to leapfrog, which is fine. Obsessing about money is tedious in the extreme. Quite often though, you end up at a little bar somewhere, and then usually you end up taking turns buying rounds. At no point is there an expectation of sex. Again, that notion is weirdly transactional. What you're hoping for is a frisson of sex. If that isn't there, it isn't happening. I'll pay the bill anyway. That's on a date though. Things can be muddier under other circumstances. A few years ago a woman contacted me wanting to pick my brains about career stuff, so we met for a drink. We got on really well, so moved on to a restaurtant. The chemistry was totally there, but the context was still business so it didn't go anywhere that night. At the end of the meal I took the bill, but she insisted on paying. So I let her. After all, she'd initiated the meeting on brain-picking grounds. We ended up seeing each other for a year, and she never let me forget it ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't mind if a guy pays for my coffee, or LLB, if I believe there will be a second date, and I can return the favour, but will pay for my own if it's a one off. I don't expect to be paid for. I don't want to be paid for. What I do like tho', but not an expectation, are doors being opened for me. Car doors, pub doors...any doors. I have no idea why but it's actually a real turn on for me! As far as a sense of entitlement goes, I believe I am entitled to being treated with respect. Doesn't mean it's going to happen, but it is very nice when it does :)
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'willowtree' Did you just channel Mado?? Thats the longest post Ive ever read from you. But all relivant to topic. What would the forums be without stories with thoughts for the journeys? Chit chat and we have the chat rooms for chit chat. Do women have a sense of entitlement, then reading Miss Freyas thoughts for it and all? Would not have a clue about women in general, can only think of Tara, it's been a long time. When we invite men to come meet us and enjoy an evening, we host and wish them to feel at home, we have already paid the bill for the meal and the room, if things go OK and Tara is impressed, the four corner fold with the sheets and the patt on the quilt and puffed up pillows awaits. I'd like to think the fellow would bring a lady some chocolates or something to have with breakfast. I don't understand the question of woman having a sense of entitlements, I am a man and never felt it with Tara. Don't know what you are all going on about, sounds like it's all about the money and costs for friendship come romance is done by bartering as to who should pay for what. Or is this an equal rights thing? Mado Mado Tara xx
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madotara69
11 years ago
I just googled entitlements. It's political. Politics and sex will always gets messy. Giving seen as taking over taking seen as giving. I'm in the top left hand right corner.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I pretty much always offer to pay for the first date, but I do ask if they're comfortable with that. Some say no they would like to pay for their half but most are fine with me paying. I've never felt like I was expected to pay and I definitely don't think I'm entitled to anything more then the pleasure of their company when I do. When I first started dating my SO. It became clear very early on that she made quite a bit more money than I did. I'm not exactly poor, but as a self employed single dad with a mortgage I do have a fairly strict budget and just couldn't compete with an executive salary and a corporate credit card. She was also very generous, with surprise weekends away, concert tickets, sporting events stuff like that. Where as I searched "groupon" and "our deals" for something I could afford,and took her for a picnic or fish and chips at the beach. When we went out for dinner with her friends/ business associates when they were in town they had a rule that the host pays which is fine because when she would travel to see them the favour is returned.It made me feel very uncomfortable when she paid on these occasions but I really couldn't afford to shout dinner for a table full of people. It came to a head when I went straight from work to her place one afternoon. I was in my smelly work clothes jumped in the shower placed my dented and paint spattered ipod with my " Macgyvered" headphones on the vanity basin. She kind of laughed and was amazed that they still worked. Anyways about a week later I received a package at work it was a new ipod, bose noise cancelling headphones and bose ipod dock. I kind of lost my shit , I'd never been given a gift that expensive before never mind by someone I just started dating a few months ago. So we had a long talk about how I felt and we sorted it out to a certain extent. And yes I eventually relented and kept the gift.
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RHP User
11 years ago
When I was a youngster at uni with no money I would let a guy pay on a date if he had a job. Some of my friends said that the guys would expect me to out out, but I never got that impression if I didn't end up fancying them. I'm confident my company was worth the dinner. Anyway, I wouldn't accept repeated dates with a guy just for the food. ☺️ Now, I'm married, so a bit of a moot point, but I do tend to shout friends sometimes if I know they're a bit short and we want to do something together.
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QLDtwo4fun
11 years ago
Men paying relates in part to a time when there were different pay rates for men and women, in part to the possession of women and impart to decision making on behalf of women. Who is paying shouldn't be an awkward conversation, it is about respecting someone else's position, whatever it may be. You wouldn't order a meal on a woman's behalf, so why assume they expect you to pay. Politely offer before the meal, and if the offer is declined politely accept it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I just googled Entitled. . entitledɪnˈtʌɪt(ə)ld/adjectivebelieving oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment."kids who feel so entitled and think the world will revolve around them". That sounds about right...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' My friend and I take it in turns to pay as we go to restaurants and movies, plays, etc and that gets expensive. I think at first he found it a little awkward as he instinctively wanted to pay, or at least that was the impression that I got. For other men, I often will offer to pay my share on a first date, but I don't argue the point if they insist on paying. If this leads to an ongoing situation I insist on sharing the costs equally. Sometimes you pay, sometimes I pay. There are definitely Princesses that expect to be wined and dined and treated to nice hotels. The most awful opening line that I sometimes recieve from men is "Are you ready to be pampered and treated like a Princess" What? Yuck dude, no way, that's sick!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Life is simple if you have no money. Most women have little or no interest and that is perfectly fair, and the few that do think I am worth spending time with seem more than happy to pay for my share if they wish to go out with me. I have no problem at all with that. Back in the days when i did have money I always paid, no matter what, not out of a sense of obligation, or that I felt that I was expected too. I pay because I can, and also because I am selfish. I would rather pay for a good meal for two than split some crappy food because she is on a budget. That way I stay in control. I open doors, pull out seats, always stand when she returns to a table, and do my best to be a gentleman at all times. Not because she is a woman, not because she has a sense of entitlement, but because everyone deserves not only to given respect but for it to be shown. I fully hope that when she goes out with someone else that I have set a standard and that she is full of expectation for others to behave to that same or better standard. One should always foster a sense of entitlement in all you care for, only the best will do because we all deserve it. We can leave the egalitarian miss placed socialism for the work place where it belongs. In the end what goes around comes around
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RHP User
11 years ago
Had lunch with a man..well kinda..he said he wasn't hungry,ordered nothing then proceeded to devour my plate after pronouncing that it looked far too much for just one person..btw,I had already paid ..😁xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
I really dont mind if a guy offers I wont say no but I also wont hesitate to shout him back I prefer to pay for myself as I think usually when a man is paying he expects something in return,
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madotara69
11 years ago
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RHP User
11 years ago
With regards to dating, if that's what you're referring to Freya, I've always had the belief that on the first date the guy pays. Perhaps I'm reading to much into it, but this first step is to show a potential partner that you can provide. After that and assuming there is another date lined up I think it will depend on individual basis. From my experience it's either the second or third date where we will 'break even' if you want to call it that. I guess I call that etiquette, from how I've been brought up at least. I always saw this as a negotiation exercise to see if both parties can compromise to build a relationship. But having read a few comments, I find it interesting that some people feel that breaking even is a way to not feel bad if there is no spark/chemistry. Perhaps it's just the right thing to do either way in this day and age of modern dating where women are earning more than they once were. Damn my oldschool chivalry :) Having said all that, I think it's silly to have any expectations beyond enjoying the moment with someone. If things progress there and then, great. If not, hopefully you're a decent enough person to acknowledge that and move on. Maybe next time, maybe not. Something the girls at work have said to me, is that you should always offer to pay. Don't expect to pay, just offer. This will (in theory) separate the users (princesses) to the real deal.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't have dinner on a first date, so that makes things easier. When it comes to drinks I like to alternate who pays. A lover and I both pay for things. I'll pay for takeout, he'll bring over wine for example. When we go out he might pay for the movie, while I get the snacks. I really don't want to be treated like a princess (with Meeks on that one), but I won't argue if a man says he'd really like to pay either. Not the first time, anyway. As long as I'm not expected to go halves on something that's totally out of my budget, it's all good. That goes for hotels too.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do not feel that I have a sense of entitlement. Far from it. But it is my boyfriend that feels that I deserve the attention that he gives me. Don't ask me why because I myself don't know. He has his own reasons and if I ask him, I'm sure that all he will say is "Because I like you". He has paid for everything and I have let him. I do not question because it is his choice. Anyway, he does not expect me to pay considering my financial situation compared to his. But I am not a mingy person and I do want to do something for my boyfriend in return. So like gavmac, I look out for deals on groupon and I have bought a Buffet Dinner for the two of us, to enjoy when he is available. True, I no longer work but I do have some savings and I do know what I can afford to spend. I have offered my boyfriend a brief trip overseas just so he can spend some quality time with me. In all honesty, I doubt that he will accept but I have made the offer. My husband is OK with this because it is my savings. And to be fair, my husband gets the same deal :). Amy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Women are our mother? Whoa ,whoa there Sigmund. - Posted from rhpmobile
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meandyou121
11 years ago
Its not they expect me to pay its just the right thing to do,whether Its the first or third date 😆
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RHP User
11 years ago
do men feel the need to offer to pay 1st up in this new age of equality ?? (and I believe it would be in excess of 80% of men offering to pay than women), and being a man I have and would do the same thing, and not because I would "expect" anything in return, (but forever hopeful). And also nothing to do with finances as I would still feel obligated (not sure if that is the right word), to pay even if I was financially strapped and maybe she was not. I do not believe it is a financial thing but an ingrown sort of custom, that the men (on the larger percentage of times) feel they should pay for dinner (or whatever), and for no expectations but the hope of something more, or maybe nothing more than enjoying the company even if there was nothing on offer. But why do we do it, and why do not woman offer 1st up (again on percentage), obviously there are women on RHP that do not accept and prefer to pay their own way, I am talking about the main percentage, not the beautiful or enlightened few.
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RHP User
11 years ago
... Women find stinginess extremely unattractive in a man, because a lack of generosity can (obviously not always) be indicative of other forms of meanness, and the surest way to dispel any suggestion that you might be stingy is to pick up the check. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Hottie1
11 years ago
to expect that the guy will turn up for coffee, then we can actually discuss who pays? I do pay may way, I don't necessarily think its fair to get him to pay or expect to be treated like a princess through payment of dinner etc. And just because he or I pay, don't expect that there is any other arrangement in place, I just expect decent human interaction, where the care and courtesy of each other is paramount. I've been left a little raw lately, good manners and etiquette are seriously lacking for some people. At a hotel once, a man (?) threw $100 on the bed and said 'you pay the rest, I worked for this!' He came two times in half and hour and I faked it, poor possum he did work hard! Mary xx
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Hottie1
11 years ago
welcome back Rick Mary xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ag4mg92' welcome back Rick Mary xx Thanks Mary!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well if women are our mother... Then you guys are all mother fuckers!!! Boom tish
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' If a man pays for more than cawfee .Is there an expectation of sex?xxFreya Not for a coffee or dinner... but on my behalf if the woman expects me to pay for a hotel then it's a plyadate not just a sleepover with a shared bed...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' Had lunch with a man..well kinda..he said he wasn't hungry,ordered nothing then proceeded to devour my plate after pronouncing that it looked far too much for just one person..btw,I had already paid ..😁xxFreya Where do you find these people?!? Do you not ask a few probing questions before meeting, like "Do you have a source of income?" or "Do you eat every day?" No offence intended to homeless people but charity is one thing and dating another :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do offer to pay for coffee meals etc, just the way I was brought up (would happily pay for coffee or meal with a mate). but generally I have found that the women prefer to pay their way so that is cool by me. Had a wacky experience while in Russia seeing a lass years back. We went shopping as I needed a new pair of pants. Anyways she wished to buy some jeans, she couldn't find what she was looking for so I mentioned that nearby where I had rented an apartment was a levis shop. So the next day we went and she found a couple of pairs. Got outside and she would not speak to me I was quite taken back and asked her what was the matter and she said she was pissed because I didn't pay for her jeans. Now THAT blew me away.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I briefly went out with a Russian guy who was very uncomfortable with the thought of me paying for anything. He said his parents would be very angry with him if they found out he allowed me to chip in.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm still old school and pay for both. Has nothing to do with wanting her in bed but more a self respect thing for me...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'L2LU69' I'm still old school and pay for both. Has nothing to do with wanting her in bed but more a self respect thing for me... Total with you on that. I never paid with the expectation that someone put out or some way reciprocated a favour.
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LetsFrolic
11 years ago
But not as in paying for stuff .. even though some still say they dont mind but judge you if you dont... More so as in making the first move and approaching to even talk or ask them out or getting to know them.. we are also expected to mind read and know their thoughts. That stuff is fun for about 2 seconds.. the old play hard to get kills everything. . Theres been a select few that have said they're interested in me so i reapond saying cool lets chat or meet and have a date.. thats as far as it gets.. Women tell us we are stalkers even from the first attempt of saying hi so theres no way in chasing further once i know they have my number and know im interested - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I briefly went out with a Russian guy who was very uncomfortable with the thought of me paying for anything. He said his parents would be very angry with him if they found out he allowed me to chip in. From only two months in Russia I would have to say it probably is a Russian thing. Very proud people with heaps of heart. Can't vouch for those Russians that live here though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
what borsh_sparks said. If a guy has paid for a hotel room specially so he can be with her and she is aware of it prior to the date, then it stands to reason, that there will be sex. Mind you, I'm sure he wouldn't do this unless both wanted it. Guys won't pay for a hotel room just on a hunch. However, if the guy had travelled Interstate and being in a hotel room is just part of his work, I don't feel that the man should expect to get sex from the woman. Especially if it is the first time that he is meeting her. After all, they may not be compatible. Amy
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RHP User
11 years ago
You would think the man should pay, as a form of chivalry and as a gentlemanly gesture. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Freya I always assume that I'm paying for coffee/beer/champagne. Because I've invited her, it's etiquette for me to pay. If she offers to pay I politely decline. In other dates I would always pay, I think it's embarrassing for a guy to try to get the woman to pay. That may be sexist but hey surely there is nothing wrong with being generous. Either way I'd have Nil, nada, zip expectations for anything other than a thank you and a smile.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Serenity2000' what borsh_sparks said. If a guy has paid for a hotel room specially so he can be with her and she is aware of it prior to the date, then it stands to reason, that there will be sex. Mind you, I'm sure he wouldn't do this unless both wanted it. Guys won't pay for a hotel room just on a hunch. However, if the guy had travelled Interstate and being in a hotel room is just part of his work, I don't feel that the man should expect to get sex from the woman. Especially if it is the first time that he is meeting her. After all, they may not be compatible. Amy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes please do. Hotels , well I like it that a guy pays. I have paid for the hotel , but I did that because I do not want the guy to sleep over. It's a bit if afternoon delight and thank you. When I was a guys mistress he always paid including all the room service I liked and the parking. I love the Hyatt. I do not do the date thing as in a meal. I do offer to pay for the cofee and I do go and just pay it anyway at times. I would think guys get sick of paying up but that is why just make the first meeting a coffee. I have had a lover off this site he would pay for two rooms. One for me and my girlfriend. We would play then he would go back to his room to sleep. Recently on our girl road trip we got two rooms . He paid for one she paid for the other. She knows I do not do sleep overs so I went back to my room. I have had a guy leave me cash for the room. I had paid and booked it. I did not mind at all. I am not that proud plus if he was paying fir my pussy it would be a tad more than a hotel room.... Well maybe not as I am a five star hotel kinda girl. Book the burswood and I am anybody's 😍 Truth is like all things it depends on the circumstances - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
"If a guy has paid for a hotel room specially so he can be with her and she is aware of it prior to the date, then it stands to reason, that there will be sex. " I dunno Serenity, I don't think it stands to reason there'll be sex until there actually is sex. No matter what someone has already paid for, or even no matter what's been discussed and agreed upon. Everyone has a right to change their mind at any point, and a prepaid hotel room doesn't impact on that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Way back when , when men were men and woman soft and tender.. The man always paid ... It's a habit that stuck with me til this day..
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Rick_Blaine' ... Women find stinginess extremely unattractive in a man, because a lack of generosity can (obviously not always) be indicative of other forms of meanness, and the surest way to dispel any suggestion that you might be stingy is to pick up the check. - Posted from rhpmobile Yes. that is true. if a man invited me for a drink or coffee and you can't shout a simple coffee or drink,then it is a turn off. Stingy in my view and I believe that would extend to the bedroom. Now I do not expect dinner on first date. But if they insist and the chemistry is there, I may agree and I do expect him to pay as he invited me to the dinner which was not planned. I would be impressed by their generosity if they insist on paying. Is that feeling entitled? Maybe but if I invite my friends out to dinner at my place, I do not expect them to pay for the meal. It just means I enjoy their company and will shell a few dollars to make a wonderful dinner party happen. My choice. When on succeeding dates, I will insist on paying my share. as it is fair. Or i will cook dinner at home. RICK, welcome back! One of my favourite posters... We miss you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I recognise that equal pay is still not quite there many women earn a good living and find the man pays thing quite patronising and/or condescending. I get that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
personally between me "Master" and my friends, we always shout each other and take pride in taking the bill as many times as possible as we come from a hardworking and generous caring loving not self centered/oriented culture.. we all have very expensive taste too but I guess we hold ok jobs or businesses to be able to enjoy our life like that. however living in Australia the past 15 years "on and off" I have started to get a little "allergic" to people specially women who tend to just think its an entitlement and expectation without them actually having much to offer back im not meaning sex but hunny if im far better company than you are im sorry im not paying for the pleasure of your time or what ever you think. in a way paying for someones meal like that ur are actually engraving really bad values that will hurt them and thier close ones in their lives in the long run. most women work these days and they all see them self's equal if no superior in some roles "which they are". the level of damage a man can do to a womans subconscious thinking and behavioral expectation by constantly offering financially linked rewards is greater than the scope of the question here.. but ladies if a man is taking you out and you are working then dont try to use your charm or gender card to get out of paying for what you enjoyed and liked to have.. in the long run your actually selling ur self worth way shorter than u should if you like to think of your self as a strong independent being then dont be a "user/leach" type personality. in the end of the day a smart guy can pick the vibe up naturally and hates to spoil the wrong person no matter how good looking or great company they are.. and well if they not smart then it does say something about the company you like to keep and where you would like to end.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
I will make it easy for you. Sm all about simplicity. . You can pay for drinks coffee dinner hotel room breakfast and condoms if we ever meet and hit it off. Haha. Ok. I'll bring the lube. Hoho. :-p
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RHP User
11 years ago
You need lube ? Oh dear ! You do need to meet me don't you ! Now just lie down in a quiet place, get all comfy and look at the pool pics
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RHP User
11 years ago
I like my steak soft and tender, does that count? :-P
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