M38
Do you believe it is unethical to pursue an attached party?
October 05 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
I do think it is unethical. You know she is attached. You know her partner is away. She is vulnerable at the moment. Some young thing half my age pursued my fiancé until he gave in. I wanted to forget all the rules of civilisation and beat the living shit out of that woman.... Still do! The fact that he gave in did not bother me. She had no right to play with him. He was mine not hers..... and she knew! Yes you are culpable! Do the decent thing and walk away. We can all be tempted, we can all give in to that temptation. Will it make you feel like a big big man to bust them up or will you feel like a jerk?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Another guy (who knew of you) tried to get your girlfriend into bed, would you be ok with his reasoning or would you think he was a total bastard? And if he succeeded, would you tell your girlfriend it was totally her responsibility and absolve him?
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RHP User
12 years ago
aw come on now...you is just stirrin' the ol' possum wiv this 'un....norty Blondie
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wingman2014
12 years ago
That fact alone in this case would be enough for me to step back . Our boys over there are doing a mainly thankless job , putting their lives on the line each day . And to have some one try to cut his lunch would be very poor form. IMO - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I really, really tried to ignore this thread.... but I can't! i'll play nice though & keep this short & sweet. 1. if she is head over heels for her partner, move on cowboy, aint nothin more to see here, you aint got a looksin... 2. now, your number 2 question is when I took that deep breath & knew I had to reply to your thread. because i'm playing nice though, i'm letting this one go... biting my tongue as I move on.... 3. I should let this one go too but can't help that snap that happens on a subconscious level. yes, poor form while this soldier, this MAN, is fighting for our country & for YOU!!! however, i'm going to refer you back to question 1 & my answer, your love interest is head over heels for this MAN remember? thankfully, this question also is easily resolved. that's all I have to say, I was quite nice & have played well (I think) & I will now move on & leave you be mrs funky
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RHP User
12 years ago
I probably am stirring the lot intentionally with this one. Irst of all, I can quite gladly draw the line and day, regardless of how tempting, she is out of bounds for many reasons. Sleep with a diggers girl? I think I would lose all self respect. The question is really whether you believe the attached party or the pursuer is more to blame. Handmaiden - didnt you blame him at all? Id think the blame almost entirely lies with him.
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RHP User
12 years ago
..on that note I was pleased too read you wont pursue as stated.In answer to your question though....."It takes two too Tango". One needs never too think they free of responsibility, that would be denial.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'blond_gypsy'I probably am stirring the lot intentionally with this one. Irst of all, I can quite gladly draw the line and day, regardless of how tempting, she is out of bounds for many reasons. Sleep with a diggers girl? I think I would lose all self respect. The question is really whether you believe the attached party or the pursuer is more to blame. Handmaiden - didnt you blame him at all? Id think the blame almost entirely lies with him. again, I tried to move on. again, I can't. first thing, have to get it out there, doesn't matter if this guy is you or some new mythical 'for the sake of the question' random guy who suddenly appeared in the picture, it needs to be made crystal clear that there is NO danger of you or 'mythical guy' sleeping with said girl. she is 'head over heels' remember? game over. now the 'sleep with a digger's girl' comment, if said girl wasn't 'head over heels' & mutually returned feelings to yourself or 'mythical guy' it doesn't matter if said boyfriend was a digger or not, this fact should not alter the way you view things. yes, you were lightly chastised for mentioning a thought of even going there but it really was a very silly example that you put up. to answer your ultimate & actual question, which in my mind should have been made clear at the beginning, while it takes 2 to tango, it is the said girl who is in the relationship & who is responsible for honouring whatever commitment or promise she has made to said boyfriend. while you or 'mythical guy' would be aware of said girl's deceit or lies, or whatever it is, it's not your responsibility. you haven't made the promises to said boyfriend. morally? depends upon the morals you set for yourself. basically, you or 'mythical guy' & said girl are the ones who are doing the deed & the ones facing the consequences. you are the only ones who really have the right answers for your situation. I will leave you be now. it's getting late & i'm feeling a little tetchy. enjoy the rest of your thread. mrs funky
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madotara69
12 years ago
with other people that are in love can be inspirational, some of the feelings that come with sex can be experienced without having sex at all.If you are honorable to the lonely lady and be an ear for the love she has for her man, then you could earn the respects that she may well pass to all her lady friends, tell them you are a catch or something like that.If the word got round that you chose to pursue, that would serve you no favors.Just a thought.Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is this girl sending you Signals ? Coz if she ain't , why would you try and pick her up ? GG♒️- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
If your happy looking at this woman and you see the glow of love on her face for her man (such a beautiful thing to observe)...then why would anyone want to destroy that?? Someone with good ethics and morals would not cross that line nor go there knowing the woman's background/history/situation. FOXY - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Reverse the equation and see if you'd appreciate the interjection while subduing insurgents overseas?
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RHP User
12 years ago
The forum police certainly had their say on this subject. I did note you said you weren't going there though. Maybe that's not enough for everyone else.
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RHP User
12 years ago
If she wants it.. then fuck it, fuck her brains out !!! if not then yeh find another ...simple really. Im sure if her boyfriend had the chance he would do the same.
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RHP User
12 years ago
To msmarvelous - I reckon! Really, all I admitted was I had a crush on someone out of my ballpark. Not so bad when I put it that way is it? She is definitely in love with this guy, so I wouldn't ruin that (just a personal thing). The fact that he's a digger breaks a fairly sanctimonious bro-code law. My question really is just whether you think actual blame lies with the pursuer? After all, in my case I'd just be a single guy chasing a woman. If your husband cheats on you, is it his fault or the woman's?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
If someone is attached and you pursue them and catch them,who is culpable?To deliberately try and break up a relationship is the act of a cad my dear gypsy...Is she culpable if she succumbs to your devastating charms,?...of course not ,she is afteral a creature with no free will....but you already knew the responses that you would get to your question me thinks....she is possibly emotionally vulnerable if her love is not only gazzillions of miles away but also in danger..can you be a friend to her,a shoulder to lean on ,if she needs one?Or are you just ruled by small horny brain and predatory behaviour?I suspect that you have at least the potential gypsy boy to be an honourable man.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Lies within you. Despite all the opinions on this forum, which ofcourse, you did ask for, there is only one person whose opinion matters. That person is the one you look in the mirror each morning . Having someone else play the part of your conscience isn't going to work in the long term. Do what feels right in your gut and then rest easy that you've made the right decision for you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
12 years ago
gypsy can certainly handle himself with the moral police, I have feelings that suggest this thread is all about morals.to try and shut the thread down for the sake of morality would be a waste moralistically.Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
I did blame him as well. Why would the blame almost be entirely his? She knew me, she pursued a man twice her age for months... just for fun She was engaged and living with her fiancé...still is! She did all this in full view of her children. It is up to each of us to do what we know is right. Regardless of the fact that this woman has a man stationed overseas. In my mind it does not matter what her partner does for a living. Firies, police, any number of people put their lives on the line each and every day for our quality of life. I personally cannot see the difference Wrong is wrong If it is wrong while he wears a uniform, it is wrong when he takes that uniform off! You can not always have what you want!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I agree that morals are for people in conservative circles. Ethics though are a different ball game. Different considerations. Would I entertain the possibility of deceiptfully being with a committed woman? No. Whose shoulders near the burden of responsibility should something mutual occur? Doesn't matter. Would I entertain the possibility of being with a committed woman in an open relationship with the other partners consent & blessings? Maybe. There's enough people screwing each other over in the world for my liking. I don't like being on the receiving end, so I figure I won't put anyone else in that position. Judgemental perhaps, but I also understand there are good reasons people stray outside of a relationship. It's never black & white, just beyond my own willingness to go there. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'tickled_kink' Reverse the equation and see if you'd appreciate the interjection while subduing insurgents overseas? Not a truer word said in this thread, stay away regardless of her or anyones circumstances you have no wright to intentionally interfere with anyones relationship. If she becomes single of her own or his choosing then you have every right to display your feathers. Relationships are under enough pressure i.e mortgage, distance etc without some dick or dickess magically appearing to save the day. Find your own paddock and enjoy your own grass, enough said.
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RHP User
12 years ago
OK.... I know this is going to earn me even more interesting fan mail... but.... so be it.I will flirt, tease and attract women I am interested in.I will NOT instigate any flirtatious behaviour with any woman who I know to be attracted.IF a woman flirts with me, and then makes it clear that she has a boyfriend (not husband/fiance/partner).... then she continues to flirt..... I take that as a subtle possible sign that she is not happy with that man, and is open to seeking others..... and its a green light for me to continue the attraction process.She will let me know through her body language and/or conversation whether she will go any further.DG
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madotara69
12 years ago
now there is a thing.I can only give this a s an example, how it is taken is up to each for their own.Tara and her sister are very open with body language, They both are touchy and eye to eye, forward with body language when sharing their feelings in conversations.I have seen men go a bit nuts when the girls have conversations with them.Some of our friends (Male) have had the feelings that Tara and sis are coming on to them in a sexual nature, though they are not, they are just very trusting open and friendly.I say this as Tara has told me over time where men have seen her body language as a cum-on, and she has needed to play things down (so to speak) in a friendly manor.I have needed to remind some of our Male friends that Tara's sister is married, and that she is not falling for them, just excited to meet and chat with them.It doesn't change things, they still want to believe she is sexually attracted to them and hang on to the fantasy.In all what I am trying to project here is that body language can become confusing at the best of times.Mado, Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
For all we know the woman in question doesn't even know this child/man even exists or if she does, she is secure enough in her relationship not to worry about him. Now lets examine the probable facts if the OP does make a play for the woman. First off, he will be rejected, probably laughed at in a nice way. Then if he is really stupid, he will try again, which could very well result in an equity/harassment claim laid against him. This will mean the woman will be dragged into a shitmess she didn't want and the OP maybe losing his job. Her partner finds out and because he is in the stand-pit, doubts will start to stir in his mind. Think about it, he is thousands of miles away, lonely and he finds out his partner has been harassed at work. Unless their relationship is rock solid, a tiny bit of him will start to question what will happen. Hopefully that won't happen and the only think is the OP will be moved or fired. But it will have a lasting effect because the BF will eventually come back from the desert and find out exactly what happened. Then, being Army, he will find the OP and beat eleven shades of shit out of him. Unfortunately that will probably land the poor digger in a world of hurt with the military, even if they secretly agree with his actions. Remember the military aren't allowed normal reactions like civilians, what will get a guy on the street a slap on the wrist with the civilian police will get a military member thrown into cells and end his career. So OP, grow some balls and grow the fuck up. Just because a woman is pretty and smiles at your jokes at work doesn't mean she wants to fuck you. Mooka P.S. Part of me wants you to try, maybe getting the shit beaten out of you by a trained professional might make you think with your head and not your cock.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Some very nice responses. I have been cheated on before. As a hot-blooded male, my guy reaction was to lose my marbles at the guy involved. How dare he! After a time, the more Vulcan part of my mind kicked in. What the hell was she doing? Did she have no loyalty, no willpower to say no? He was just a guy who saw a pretty girl and went for it. She did the actual betraying part.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
My word, the forum police are out in force today. Mooka - I think you're taking this scenario more seriously than I ever did. Or did you miss the three or so times I repeated that I will not be pursuing this girl for all the reasons you just stated?
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MassiveSchlong
12 years ago
......I think he'd tap that ass.
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RHP User
12 years ago
shame on you for reading the post and taking it personally. SO many people in these fucking forums take them selves too seriously.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' now there is a thing.I can only give this a s an example, how it is taken is up to each for their own.Tara and her sister are very open with body language, They both are touchy and eye to eye, forward with body language when sharing their feelings in conversations.I have seen men go a bit nuts when the girls have conversations with them.Some of our friends (Male) have had the feelings that Tara and sis are coming on to them in a sexual nature, though they are not, they are just very trusting open and friendly.I say this as Tara has told me over time where men have seen her body language as a cum-on, and she has needed to play things down (so to speak) in a friendly manor.I have needed to remind some of our Male friends that Tara's sister is married, and that she is not falling for them, just excited to meet and chat with them.It doesn't change things, they still want to believe she is sexually attracted to them and hang on to the fantasy.In all what I am trying to project here is that body language can become confusing at the best of times.Mado, Tara xx AND THEN WE ARE TOO BLAME AS COCK TEASERS...well they can suck my cock!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'blond_gypsy'My word, the forum police are out in force today. Mooka - I think you're taking this scenario more seriously than I ever did. Or did you miss the three or so times I repeated that I will not be pursuing this girl for all the reasons you just stated? To reiterate, nope I read all your posts, including the one that came after I posted mine! In your original post you stated: If she wasn't so in love I probably would. So does that if she was only a little bit in love you wouldn't hesitate??? Your subsequent posts both allude to the same premise: who is to blame, the one chasing or the one being chased? In both posts your slant on the situation indicates that you think the one being chased is of equal or greater blame, hence your statement: My question really is just whether you think actual blame lies with the pursuer? After all, in my case I'd just be a single guy chasing a woman. To me that is you trying to absolve yourself of any blame, your single, any woman is fair game, it is their fault if they ruin their life by accepting your affections. Personally, I believe you were hoping for some form of encouragement, after all this is RHP! When you didn't, suddenly it became just a discussion on morality. So flame away, I have had to deal with these types of situations when deployed and it can be disastrous for all concerned. But I don't think that fact worries you, after all as you said, who is to blame! Mooka
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RHP User
12 years ago
But you see, I have always known she never was an option. I find her attractive, that is all. Everything else are just fleeting thoughts and fancies. Since you seem curious, I think perhaps if she wasn't serious about this guy (and he was just a flavour of the month) I'd feel little guilt. As that's not the case, I won't even try. The topic was a discussion on morality to begin with - note the title; "do you believe it is unethical to pursue", and not "am I in the wrong here?" I actually place very little solace in your encouragement, no offence. But I appreciate the insight, next time I'll use a hypothetical example, and not an example hypothetically.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Heaven forbid we touch on any sacred cows! Stealing a military man's woman... You may as well have said that you're into bestiality. Lmao at all those who wrap themselves in the flag. (And dons a flameproof cloak)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'blond_gypsy' My question really is just whether you think actual blame lies with the pursuer? After all, in my case I'd just be a single guy chasing a woman. If your husband cheats on you, is it his fault or the woman's?- Posted from rhpmobileIMOE..Nope..it takes two to tango...No-one is to blame - it's more like each person is to take responsibility for their own actions.There is no if's or butts about it.I'm sure Gypsy you are a grown man and you already know this.Your core values and what you deeply believe in and guiding principles will tell you this.I don't understand why you would want to know who is to blame??FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
so this is really about what happened to you with your girlfriend and another bloke...she obviously either wasn't committed to you,or it was just a one off mistake...you haven't really explained the circumstances....I am thinking that this was fairly recent and that you are still hurting xx R
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RHP User
12 years ago
It was actually a long time ago, perhaps 6-7 years? She wasn't committed at all, but nevertheless I still put most of my anger towards him. Easier to blame a villainous outsider than to question the validity of your own relationship I guess.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I will continue to play nicely, as stated in my previous posts..... though my jaw is aching from the grinding of my teeth...... OP, may I remind you of the wording which you used when you posted this thread & the initial question you posed... There's this girl at work...my god she's a hunny. I won't pursue because 1. She is was-over-heels for her partner. 2. He's in the army and massive, and 3. I think it would be poor form to sleep with man's girl when he's on tour in Afghanistan. Despite this, I am male and think with my other head at least half the time. If she wasn't so in love I probably would. Thoughts? OP, you have attempted to change the direction of your thread twice since posting this question in the opening thread. I believe you did not have any intention to do this initially & it was only after negative responses were being posted you decided to try & change tracks & make your question appear more 'reader-friendly', and to use Mooka's words, "suddenly it became just a discussion on morality". Even though you did say "I won't pursue" in the first paragraph, your second paragraph can be seen to negate this & your question does appear to be more like an obscure way of seeking approval, or encouragement, from the forum readers for something which you already knew wouldn't be popular. I believe you wanted to risk testing the waters anyway, on that smallest of chance, that the majority of people would give you the replies you wanted. The risk backfired, and the back-pedalling then began. It is not unusual that people would pick up on this, despite any further posts you made. It is natural these same people would call you on it. OP, if you post questions like the one you did in an open forum, you need to accept the good with the bad when you receive responses. No amount of backpedalling will detract the attention away from your initial question for some readers & rightfully they will hold you to your original words. mrs funky
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RHP User
12 years ago
I pose one serious question, which is do you honestly believe that said woman would leave a FIGHTING MAN who risks his life daily for a BOY like you? I think an intellectual like yourself knows the answer to this. also, I see the bugle sounded, troops rallied in your defence by the hens that opposed MOOKAS comments against you. so this former fighting man will stand by him in his defence. ladies, settle down. mr funky (.)(.) PS I've been reading this shit all day, I couldn't help myself. I stand ready for the potential incoming LMAO
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RHP User
12 years ago
Im not sure if my post worked so ill retype it more or less the same. To mrs funky, Isn't backpedalling when you attempt to deny something you've said; to withdraw from a previously held view? I've been consistent throughout. Yes, I find her attractive. No, I will not pursue (stated categorically in the first post, meaning *I had already made up my mind before making this topic*). If she wasnt so in love I might go there. By the by, what do you think? Did I ever say otherwise? I think you could say I was backpedalling if I ever denied or contradicted the above, but it's all there in writing: the same sentiments I put in the first post and every one thereafter are the same ones I hold now. Here's a better theory: Internet forums attract people looking to make an argument where there is none, and knocking someone down a peg is so satisfying that you couldn't resist trying. To mr funky, No I don't for a second think she would leave him for me, as stated in my very first post ("I won't pursue because 1. She's head-over-heels in love with him"). Please refer to my previous statement about looking for an argument where there is none. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I take exception to being referred to as a ''hen''...the correct nomenclature is ''chook''
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP, I don't agree with your last statement directed towards myself. A forum in my mind is for the use of individual readers to post what they see as their own interpretation of the facts presented. What I stated as what I BELIEVE I saw (& that word was used consistently in my posts) is an individual viewpoint & certainly not an attempt in creating an argument or a childish display of trying to bring somebody down a peg or two. If you choose to see it that way, that is your choice. I am entitled to post my individual view on something I see & that is my choice. I saw what others also did & I chose to post my views. I do not class this as looking to make an argument & I don't believe you should get your back up & see my posts as this either. Perhaps you should instead accept forums are a platform which will hold negative & positive comments relating to posted threads. mrs funky - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
As a vet myself, I think that you have already done the honourable thing and left her alone. He is over there doing his ALL for our country. Support him by leaving his girl alone, help her if she needs help, but keep it platonic. He is a digger doing it for all of US, regardless of your politics. He goes where he is sent by the govt of the day. If you have to get angry, direct it at a pollie, never, ever a digger! Mr Bungcat
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RHP User
12 years ago
If I'm to be honest I agree with the masses for the most part. I do think however it's up to you as an andividual, if she's giving you the signals and you are certain that you can live with yourself then I guess that's a decision in life you have to live with. The fact he's a digger is kinda beside the point as this kind of thing happens to many of us every day. In short I don't condone it, Aussie soldier or bloke in the office cubicle next to you, I guess you should consider how you'd feel if it happened to u mate. Be a friend, be supportive but don't cut his lunch, I'm sure shed respect you more for it in the end. Lets just hope she's keeping it honest for him as well
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RHP User
12 years ago
If he is away fighting for the protection of our country lifestyle etc etc.......you back the truck up and get out there pal. Unique cirumstances and that set of circumstances is a no go as far as I am concerned and would be a very very low act. You get her while she may be feeling lonely or vulnerable wondering if he is ok and missing him etc. And he is overseas riskng his life......do I need to say any more?
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RHP User
12 years ago
It is unethical, immoral and plain wrong. What if you were the bloke out on duty?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
now this is just my opinion and some may not agree with me. As a person that has been cheated on I see it this way. If the woman didn't know i exist because he has lied to her. I see her as blameless and i would leave it at that. BUT if she knows about me worse still if we are associates or god forbid a friend. Then all that happens to her is on her head. And for the cheater well well well he gets what is coming to him in spades. There is in my mind no excuse to cheat no grey area just black and white. When I first began a relationship with my partner I said to him that if he found himself falling for someone else then let me go. Don't deceive me don't play me for a fool or a sucker, don't think I won't find out eventually and when I do not if i do. Don't expect me to take it graciously or to be understanding. Because I will not be in control of what I do after I find out. If he is honest with me i would let him go with my blessing and thanks for being a man that i can respect. Being cheated on to have the person you love trust and put your happiness in the hands of, is the worst betrayal . I can share my man in a threesome a fousome hell even more. But no dishonesty no deceit is involved. Its all about the sex and we share the fun. But if he wanted to be with someone else to spend time with them, fell for them . Then as I said he just need tell me and I would let him go he'll he wouldn't even need to tell me about her just tell me our relationship was over and he wanted out, yep ok no worries. There's my rant for the day sorry about that.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Awesome71'Heaven forbid we touch on any sacred cows! Stealing a military man's woman... You may as well have said that you're into bestiality. Lmao at all those who wrap themselves in the flag. (And dons a flameproof cloak) those that wrap themselves in the flag & have at times bled & died for our flag, are the ones who have given you the freedom to "LMAO" at them & their ultimate sacrifice. shame on you
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your talking about your interest in her, she too would be to blame if she took you up on the offer. If she is so in love with her guy then you don't have a chance anyway but.. if she said yes to you, then you both would have to take the blame on what happens after that. Cheating is cheating but if both know about a fact that there is a third person involved and still willing to go ahead it means that you or they have little respect for the relationship.
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RHP User
12 years ago
For a concentrated representation of the independent and free thinking women of our society I'm utterly surprised by the lack of indignation at many of the comments ... especially by other women? The guy has nothing to do do with it ... the woman is not owned by the man and is responsible for her own decision making.The whole thread is written with the implicit assumption that if "i decide to fuck her then it will happen" which also leaves no room for her free will ... among other more nefarious things.If we make a few wild and reaching assumptions like she does find you attractive and would respond to your advances should you make them then I call 'pussy' for giving up and running away out of fear ... which is entirely the wrong emotion to honour in this circumstance ... at least you have spared her the indignation of association with a man who is not prepared to honour her by giving everything in her pursuit.Even if he were instead a noble and talented scientist that provided us with a new and unlimited pollution free energy source or the like and was thus someone actually worthy of respect it is HER decision to make and has nothing to do with who or what he is.Perhaps the husband told her to go and find a pretty-boy that he won't find threatening to their relationship and to have some fun while he is away ... because he loves her and wants her to be happy and satisfied in his absence ?
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP, it seems that the main issue a lot of people have with your post, is that your object of affection's partner is military. And I could've predicted the responses even before I read them. So, all you need to do is find a girl whose partner is just in some 'ordinary', non-sacred job, and you're fine to rip her away right under his nose!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
To mr funky, I couldn't agree more on dodging the bullet. And that's the last I'll be saying to you here. To everyone else, So its interesting how many being up the soldier part. Undoubtedly it would be a dog move, but what if he wasn't a soldier? Jus a regular joe? Why would that be less bad?
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RHP User
12 years ago
The fact the question is even being asked is disgraceful to begin with. Says a lot about how far we've fallen .. It's unethical regardless of the other mans profession. That said if he's over in the sandpit dodging ied and friendly fire let alone the tali boys I hope he finds out and gets you down range. Move on.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'IndefatigableMe' For a concentrated representation of the independent and free thinking women of our society I'm utterly surprised by the lack of indignation at many of the comments ... especially by other women? The guy has nothing to do do with it ... the woman is not owned by the man and is responsible for her own decision making.The whole thread is written with the implicit assumption that if "i decide to fuck her then it will happen" which also leaves no room for her free will ... among other more nefarious things.I definitely noticed this and thought about commenting on it. I think the whole 'military partner' thing clouded out everything else for many people. But yes, you're right, he actually doesn't have anything to do with it, and that SHOULD be the case no matter whether he's a soldier, a lawyer, or a janitor.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Nice post IndefatigableMe and luckdragon23.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I agree Awesome71, just because someone is in the army or policemen or similar they someone better than the rest of us and are to be treated differently. Lovely to see that the army feels bashing people up is the answer. 👎
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RHP User
12 years ago
So, doesn't bother you if a woman is married or attached? If you were interested you would still peruse it? See I think most of us are worried about karma turning around and biting us on the bum.
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RHP User
12 years ago
To answer your question Meeka, and to echo IndefatigableMe's post (though not in the way he intended), would it even be a possibility if she wasn't completely willing? What kind of relationship do they have if she can't give a firm no? I'm definitely stirring the pot now, but shouldn't karma bite the betrayer, not the opportunist?
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Quoting 'madotara69' now there is a thing.I can only give this a s an example, how it is taken is up to each for their own.Tara and her sister are very open with body language, They both are touchy and eye to eye, forward with body language when sharing their feelings in conversations.I have seen men go a bit nuts when the girls have conversations with them.Some of our friends (Male) have had the feelings that Tara and sis are coming on to them in a sexual nature, though they are not, they are just very trusting open and friendly.I say this as Tara has told me over time where men have seen her body language as a cum-on, and she has needed to play things down (so to speak) in a friendly manor.I have needed to remind some of our Male friends that Tara's sister is married, and that she is not falling for them, just excited to meet and chat with them.It doesn't change things, they still want to believe she is sexually attracted to them and hang on to the fantasy.In all what I am trying to project here is that body language can become confusing at the best of times.Mado, Tara xx AND THEN WE ARE TOO BLAME AS COCK TEASERS...well they can suck my cock!!! I don't blame you for being a cock teaser, you are good at it
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well, people get lonely and scared, it's also tough living with the constant fear that something will happen to your partner, so they are more vulnerable than say, a footballers wife. I think she would be fair game. 😈
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have to wonder...If you asked this question in the forum of a different group...say...a church group...(as a hypothetical example, of course)...could you pretty much assume that the reaction you would get would be one of moral outrage...Gasps of horror at the thought...fingers pointed at you for being a person of loose moral character...bla bla bla...? (perhaps a little dramatic licence there...but hey...that's me)As opposed to asking it on RHP...where we're all assumed to be of low moral character in the first place...Honestly...stop asking who is to blame and start thinking more along the lines of "Am I a person with Moral Character"?Yes...there is a Man out there fighting for the free world, Bless him and all of those that do it for us. It could be a man who has to clean public toilets at the Ekka or some such large event...I don't see the difference between "cutting either ones lunch", though frankly, I think you're shittin in your nappy that, you'll do it, he'll find out and being "in the Army and Massive", he's gonna squish you...Literally(can I watch?)Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. You're young and have a long way left to go...You may have yet to learn that moral character comes into play on so many levels on a day to day basis. Don't blur the lines by asking the question here...Were you hoping for a "Oorah"..."you Go Boyyy"...or maybe even a "hey...when the digger gets back...maybe a little MMF action"...hmmmm?Wrong is just wrong. Surely that's logical?
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RHP User
12 years ago
is a complex one whereas the case in point is not. For this case, the girl is happy, the guy is bigger than you and there is nothing to say she is interested in you. So go elsewhere.However, to decide whether you should pursue an attached person, you have to first decide what you think of several other factors. Do you think another person should own someone for a lifetime just because they got in first? How important do you think love is? How important do you think personal happiness is over commitment? What constitutes pursuit?Because I don't believe in monogamy or ownership of people, I do think it can be ethically OK to show interest in someone in a relationship. But I also think that it is immoral to keep it hidden from the other partner or to lie about it because there is an onus on each of us to try to treat each other as we want to be treated. If someone is lying and cheating to be with you, there is a much bigger risk they will do the same to you in the future.For me, polygamy seems to be much more sensible than monogamy. If done well and with good principles, each person has a network of relationships to move in rather than being consumed or discarded by one.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Trust me with your life not your money or your wife.......all fair in love and war.For those forum police about to have a go I've had plenty of Dear Johns whilst in the sandpit and its easy enough to get over....oh another saying..... plenty of fish in the sea.As for blond_gypsy if you want to pursue her....crack on....but if she knocks you back and he knocks you out...well that's just a little life lesson really.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We have locks on our doors not for the crooks and thieves amongst us, locks are to keep honest people out, an honest person walking past a locked car with a wallet or purse on the dashboard would not smash the windscreen for it, a thief would, just because another human is desirable to you well if they have a partner and he is beating her all the time ect well I think it would be up to you to save your hearts desire from a man that deserves her not (you do, remember) but but a woman who is happy with her man that is a different thing thhats a purse sitting on the dashboard of a locked car your hungry you need food do you smash the windscreen or go find a soup kitchen?
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RHP User
12 years ago
there is a taboo amongst many people "DONT SCREW THE CREW" if it goes south you have problems at work or if itssay a hot neigbor well if it goes south well there goes the happy neighborhood you work with this girl at work you already have a relationship A PROFESSIONAL ONE , with this what must be, to have u in this state, a gorgeous creature hey maybe she is nicer to her coworkers than boyfriend she may a real horror when she is "home" refer to rule 1 DONT SCREW THE CREW
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well you must think very highly of your self to think it unethical. You must be so irresistible that to just look at a woman will draw he away from the one she loves. Oh and what blocks you, the fear of being beat up. I see you have the your mortality in the right spot. Me me me... LOLIf the lady in question does fall for your charm, then is it not best it is done now rather then latter.Get of your high horse dude. She will cheat if she is of that sort, if not she will not. If you did draw her in you should be wary as she will do it again.Don't worry if she is true and morally bound to love then there is nothing you can do that will change that.Be your self, is all I can say and if she does fall for you she really is not that much in love is she.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes I do believe it's wrong to pursue , but If your told by them otherwise then hour none the wiser .so its there responsibility to say I'm attached and I just want a fuck hey not say I'm not attached and contuely sucking you so you believe there's more there to offer ....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Gayely' is a complex one whereas the case in point is not. For this case, the girl is happy, the guy is bigger than you and there is nothing to say she is interested in you. So go elsewhere.However, to decide whether you should pursue an attached person, you have to first decide what you think of several other factors. Do you think another person should own someone for a lifetime just because they got in first? How important do you think love is? How important do you think personal happiness is over commitment? What constitutes pursuit?Because I don't believe in monogamy or ownership of people, I do think it can be ethically OK to show interest in someone in a relationship. But I also think that it is immoral to keep it hidden from the other partner or to lie about it because there is an onus on each of us to try to treat each other as we want to be treated. If someone is lying and cheating to be with you, there is a much bigger risk they will do the same to you in the future.For me, polygamy seems to be much more sensible than monogamy. If done well and with good principles, each person has a network of relationships to move in rather than being consumed or discarded by one.just had to say, that i loved what you wrote....intelligent, insightful,wise...and so well composed...it was a pleasure to read it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23'OP, it seems that the main issue a lot of people have with your post, is that your object of affection's partner is military. WTF is up with that?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sensualtimestoo' Quoting 'Gayely' just had to say, that i loved what you wrote....intelligent, insightful,wise...and so well composed...it was a pleasure to read it... Thanks Sensualtimestoo:)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Gayely' is a complex one whereas the case in point is not. For this case, the girl is happy, the guy is bigger than you and there is nothing to say she is interested in you. So go elsewhere.However, to decide whether you should pursue an attached person, you have to first decide what you think of several other factors. Do you think another person should own someone for a lifetime just because they got in first? How important do you think love is? How important do you think personal happiness is over commitment? What constitutes pursuit?Because I don't believe in monogamy or ownership of people, I do think it can be ethically OK to show interest in someone in a relationship. But I also think that it is immoral to k
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RHP User
12 years ago
My wife was dating a guy when I met her. I did not 'pursue her' but I was happy to be her friend whilst her boyf was neglecting her and I do mean neglect. She would invite him out, invite him to social things and he chose to go else where. I was happy to pick up the invitation and obviously in the end here we are. I don't feel guilty, he had the girl, had the shot and he let her go, not my fault.However, a guy fighting a war who does not have a go at defending his relationship, no go. Even if she wasn't happy it wouldn't be cool to go near her til he got back. Knowing many guys who have had girls cheat/ leave them whilst they have been on deployment you can see the heartache they go through. Doing such a courageous thing and to have your love leave you...... well they make movies about that sort of stuff. Don't go there mate, add her to the list of many great girls who are already taken.
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RHP User
12 years ago
No definitely not,would never ever entertain the thought,married lady one thing,serving soldier,no brainer ffs . Just my opinion of course but STAY THE FUCK AWAY.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
It doesn't matter if it's unethical, it is a recipe for nothing at best and disaster at worst duh. Someone who leaves their partner for you isn't going to be good girlfriend material, you'll be dealing with a load of crying and carrying on for certain. If you're lucky he'll be an SAS type guy the dignified gents that our soldiers can be and probably laugh it off and leave you with his sloppy seconds. Getting a broken jaw is the least of your worries. Although it could be quite embarrassing. Also, I reckon you're kidding anyway, would be a bit funny if you got a knock back and a broken jaw and lost your job :p Just kidding ;) I hope you stay safe. Flirting is fun and everyone can enjoy it. It's just flirting though. I'm sure most people do it at work. How many shag in the cupboard though?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
You love it
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RHP User
12 years ago
of course it is. besides...if a guy/gal is willing to cheat on and lie to their partner....what is it that makes you think...they arent doing the very same things to you? why would you want that for yourself? its a no go zone as far as we are concerned....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Focusing for a moment on the particular issue of (mostly) men being deployed repeatedly, and for lengthy periods, while their partner waits (or is expected to wait) at home, and using a more extreme scenario to explore this issue...Consider the dynamic between a husband and wife during WW1, running their farm in rural Australia, when mother England puts out the call for volunteers, for a jolly adventurous time to give the Bosche a hiding. So, swept up by a wave of adventure and patriotism, off march the hubbies promising to be "Back by Christmas" (but aren't).Leaving the wives to struggle with fire, flood, drought, kids and trying to eke out a living, while of course being expected to put their sexual needs, and need for intimacy on hold, indefinitely.The ladies found themselves in an impossible situation. Constantly in dread of losing their husbands, they turned to whatever comfort was available. In Britain, when their hubbies were off fighting, there were endless American servicemen ready to fill the gap, in both WW1 and WW2. etc.When does choosing a military career become so grossly unfair to the wives as to some extent make their infidelity understandable, if not inevitable ?Google "Deployment Sex Pacts" for a modern day take on this situation.
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RHP User
12 years ago
that's all
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RHP User
12 years ago
If you commence a 'relationship' born out of someone cheating..... have you effectively undermined the integrity of your expectations that they stay faithful to you..... hmmmmm
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RHP User
12 years ago
Morally and ethically any attempt to come between a couple is just plain wrong and everyone knows this.. To do so when they are head over heels and for short term gain is reprehensable as well. Now having said that.... They may be inclined to add your lovely self to the mix occasionally which would side step the whole issue because you attraction seems be simply because she is so freakin' hot. You aren't secretly head over heels for her are you? If so we recommend you live your life and if they come unstuck in the future you can make your interest known. As for blame if something like this does happen. Then the pursuing party carries more then half the blame. There's usually plenty left over for the caught party as well. Trust and fidelity are too easily destroyed by people who don't care and have no personal honour or integrity. Gabby- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
If it is love (Genuine, bonafide love) then go for it. Who are we to stop matters of the heart. If it is just lust though; you should leave it alone. As for posted serviceman... Whatevs. I was in for years and saw plenty of relationships break up while service men/women were posted OS. The one thing that all of these relationships had in common is that they were already on the rocks.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Gud question well to be honest just be a gud colleague and friend and keep it at that otherwise her man mite polverise you, have to keep her in ur 'spank bank' buddy gud luck :D
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RHP User
12 years ago
That's all- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
What makes you think you could ruin that?
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