M42

Do you ever reflect on your personal growth in this world?

May 15 2026

As I've spent about 10/11 years across this site and general ENM/swinging world, age has made me reflect more on why I do it and what benefit seeing other people brings to my life. To be completely open, I left my ex-wife and joined this site when I was 32 and took a very different approach to now. Being new to it all, I met many people, tried so many new things, became attached, had to learn to say no and set boundaries, realised fantasy wasn't immune to emotion or sadness. And met my life partner too. Being immersed so heavily into it teaches a lot. It influences my personal growth and how I approach my life outside of swinging. I can directly correlate my current confidence, boldness, vulnerability, hesitancy to the various levels of intimacy and connection derived from those people I've fucked, held, hurt, helped, loved. For good or bad I'm certain my actions and conversations coming from concurrent emotional journeys has its part to play. The decisions to make hard change and to take risks could be subconsciously supported by positive experiences a monogamous relationship might otherwise suppress. Maybe it's a realisation of gratitude. Would I be the partner, parent and everything else I am today if I'd taken a different path? I like to think not but that's because I don't regret my past on purpose. So does anyone else who spent years in this lifestyle look back and attribute any of their current characteristics or life successes to what they've learned from a multitude of relationships experienced?

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Notice_Me

22 days ago

Is an erection considered personal growth ... /s

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MrandMrsEss

22 days ago

Isn't life just a continual circle of reflection and progress? Maybe it's those that don't reflect enough that don't seem to progress? I've been in and around this life choice for most of my adult life, I've made some monumental mistakes and a whole lot of lesser mistakes to arrive at where I am now. I remember back when I had met my forever friend MrsS, the choice to introduce her to this or let it all go was a big, scary one. Luckily she made it for me but that didn't mean we didn't fuck it up a few times, those fuck ups really rattled our foundations and made us really sit back and learn why we do the things we do and how we can fit each other's desires into our lives in a way which is positive for both of us. Not shying away from my past and my natural desires and having a partner who truly understands them and can now explore her own is freaking awesome. We love the exploration but find we indulge less and less often as just the knowing is a thrill and we savour our together alone time more and more. We still love meeting people who are exploring the openness of mind this all provides us but we only want to indulge when we feel all parties will look back on the experience with a deep gratitude of what has been shared.

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Thesunlovingsub

21 days ago

Love this topic. I was just saying to a friend the other day how fundamentally changed I am from being in this world. Like I have fully met myself now that I’m released from the constraints of heteronormativity, and I can reflect on my values and my actions more kindly and authentically. I have also often said how much the personal growth I’ve got from sport has influenced my approach to this side of my life. Super grateful for all of it ❤️

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Do you ever reflect on your personal growth in this world?

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