M64
Does being married make a difference
December 09 2009
Comments
-
RHP User
16 years ago
If the person is a swinger and in an open relationship and are allowed to have FB and FWB yes. If they are cheating and doing it behind the partners back. NO. I was a cheater for many years, and karma does come around and bites you on the bum. The moment you open that door and be a cheater, you have ruined that relationship (unless you admit it, but even then you're going to be your partners bitch for a long time after). We have had three married ladies contact us, one seemed to think that guys got off in sleeping with married women. Each time we have told them we are not going to play. One of them even took her husband away on our advice and told him (after a bottle of bubbly) how unhappy she was and that she wanted to swing... he was all for it. But she was so scared to ask him that she would have risked it all... the question we asked her was 'do you want to leave your husband?" she said "NO" we said "then talk to him about this" Sorry if this was not what you wanted to hear. andy
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Yeah it makes a difference. Married guys are ostracised by all and sundry and married women are usually fair game for all the single men. Except if you hang around long enough .. well for example... some people forget that I'm married. :p Facts are simple... cheat and you will eventually get caught and then you have a new problem to resolve besides sorting out why people on RHP dont want to shag you. *shrugs* Hugs Gazza
-
RHP User
16 years ago
No need to cheat if you are a swinger...simple, so seek singles maybe...or talk to couples and see where they stand. Leesa
-
RHP User
16 years ago
How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?..there with in may lay the answereven gaz touched on a good point...as in double standards ,id take heed to Andys view point.Communication is vital in any relationship..the key is be quick to listen and slow to speak...just my thoughts.So Andy you like my motto about karma...lmao..ive used that on a few occassions in my commentsi wish you and Sal the best...No as for me....ive been cheated on before in my first marriage...only because he couldnt have been bothered to communicate to me...but i would have made an allowance..due to the fact that he was young when we married and i was his first serious relationship still that was no excuse...so i know how it feels to be hurt and betrayed...to think that he feel so little about me.Thats why im not looking to hook up with a married man that plays alone and the wife is not awarealso you cant call or what ever and say hey ive got an itch that needs scratching can you come and scratch it..hehetoo many complications otherwise.....i also WONT cut another womans grassI hope what ive said made some sense Orbieswar.xoxoxheymumma yet they can be just good friends
-
RHP User
16 years ago
When you are in a situation - where over the years you have stated you are not happy about your life especially in the sex department - with little or no change from your partner what do you do ?The answer is simple resort to "cheating", that is when nothing else seems to work.I have been through the "I will change/make an effort I promise" only to have it last a week or two at most then return to no-mans land again. What do you do ? , go without - no way !, I have made my feelings known time and time again, "no sex = no marriage", so what to do ?Yes married guys are definitely ostracised, no one seems to be interested and worse can't even get a "thanks but no thanks" reply to messages of interest - what happened to being polite at least.I am getting desperate I must admit, ight have to resort to buying sex !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Hi FuckbuddyplzSome of us do understand where you married guys are coming from...and dont judge you for itbut you have have to understand why some of us wont play with you guys....either ..expecially those of us who have been cheated .and other reasons that ive stated....id lay it on the line to her then let her make a choiceas we always find out...so you'd still might end up in a no win situation so weight it up..be honestjust a thought
-
RHP User
16 years ago
Hi Fuckbuddyplz, The problem of the misaligned libidos... Affairs don't work...most of the the women on this site understand it too well and won't play - and the consequences are not worth the risk (experience talking here..). People basically don't change, you can only change their behaviour by changing their environment. Whereas I would like my wife to be 'on heat' all the time, the reality is that she has to be secure, relaxed and feel loved and in control of her life, - only then she can be a sex demon - it happens but not as frequently as I (and she) would like. I try to encourage her to push her boundaries and flirt and make out with other men and she allows me to come on RHP. WooHoo Mr. SR.
-
RHP User
16 years ago
fuckbuddy There are often many reasons partners behave like that. Often personality disordered - many partners of these people don't know this and waste a life living with these people. This works both ways, for both sexes. I was completely opposed to the idea of married people cheating (or even committed people) - that is after all why you got married. To share these special moments with someone special in your life. But whilst marriage may be a cut and dry concept - bring children into the equation and everything changes. Lets be honest - your not happy with spouse - then marriage ended. Bring kids into the equation and it can change the dynamics and decision very easily. I appreciate everyone has different opinion on how you handle this situation - and not suggesting I have one. The irony for many men is do I cheat to have some sexual pleasure in my life (buying sex is also cheating), or do I go without. Well did you get married to be celebant. Should you live a life unloved. Why are you allowing someone to control your sexual and intimacy needs? I do not buy into the arguement that people can love someone and torment them so much by denying them, simple fundumemtals of a relationship. These people put you in a position to yearn for someone else. They drive you away - then make it out that your the guilty party should you get caught out. I will put another angle on this. Women and men who deny their spouses sex and intimacy do so out of abuse. Most men (and women) will not accept that a woman withoutholding sex is considered abusive - but it is. Just reverse the roles for a moment and look how strange it appears (but it happens). I am not talking about low libido, wrong time of the month, illness etc - I am talking about regular and intentionaly withholding sex and intimacy by one spouse to the other. I will not say it is right - but there are many people out there who are in that position - married and abandoned by their spouse on many levels. Many have valid reasons for staying in such relationships - but wish to fill the voids of that relationship. Orb in short it does matter - and the consequences of such a realtionship will matter. It depends very much on the understanding of the people involved and their attitude towards it. I believe anyone in such a situation would need to be very open with that person and very clear on discrete needs very early on so everyone knows the ground rules.
-
RHP User
16 years ago
...the whole concept of "swinging" - before you shoot me down, it's my personal opinion. After being cheated on by my ex husband then an ex boyfriend, I just can't see how people can be happy in a relationship once they introduce a "3rd". As I said, it's just my opinion, but if you commit to one partner, why stray or bring in others????? Obviously you made the wrong choice to start with.
-
RHP User
16 years ago
i agree redi, but it works for some
-
platinumblonde69
16 years ago
Being a married woman on this site is hard work, mainly because u do get judged by some, not all, and unfortunately until u chat to that person and perhaps find out why they r doing what they do, it is hard to understand. I have met some fantasic guys from this site....i have also met some who have treated me badly, with the comeback...U r married...what do u expect?????......But there are many things people dont understand. eg. Not eating fish on Good Friday when u dont even go to church???...Noone is right here....cause everyone is different...but i believe cheating comes in different categories....There are married people who will shag anything that has a pulse.....there are married people who r choosy and after a friend as well as someone to make them feel good....At the end of the day, yes, it is the person who has to live with their guilt at home....but for whatever reason they cannot leave their relationship....I guess im a believer as long as u r upfront with people on this site, it shouldnt be a problem....What i dont like about some married people is their lack of common sense and shag anyone and everyone....that worries me putting the health of their so called loved one at risk....Anyway...i do what i do for a reason...I was a good Christian girl and if i had a crystal ball when i was getting married i still doubt i would have seen myself doing this....But like i said...everyone has their reasons...if u dont like....dont meet us... Thanks to those friends i have made....xoxoxox
-
RHP User
16 years ago
We do have our reasons and the right to make choice (as everyone does). So I dont get upset when the knock back happens. I respect the other parties decision. I have some good friends, and one I havent chatted to for far too long. Just do what suits your circumstances, live with your decisions and be ready for the shock of reality if your secret gets out.
-
RHP User
16 years ago
We have an open relationship and find that it is often easier to pick FBs who are not married because then a venue is easier to find no need for cheap hotels and car park fucks although we've had a few of them. (we live in the country and people are not always willing to travel an hour west) Also like others have said single men have no problem with me mrscc being married but single girls have a problem with mrscc being married.
-
RHP User
16 years ago
No one has the right to judge others.. so i say....let him/her throw the first stone that has done no wrong...frustration,disillusionment and disparagement in any marrage....will take its toll eventually...Your here for your own reasons..its your life there is always to sides to the story...I feel that to me that understanding, empathy,communication skill,.among other things comes with life experiences,and the length of the relationship..and to some extend age all play a part...(.i only speak of one of my experiences)AS for you guys / gals....im sure im not the only one who would be happy to be friends with you,oryet on the other hand if someones spouse wasnt a swinger...but was ok with their partner becoming fbwsid we'd fine with that also......but there's always that chance element....of backfiringwish you all the bestxoxoxmumma
-
RHP User
16 years ago
All is not as it seems.Example- I am a married man and love my wife to bitsOur libidos are not exactly in line, nor are our kinks! Now, my wife is a few years older and has pretty much done it all before meeting me. We got married young, and i was an instant father. The reason i am on hear is this is one place where i can shoot the shit with like mided people, get very good advice and the like from some extremly talented and sincere couples and singles.I would love to experience a threesome and moresome with my wife, however the fact that we have kids she is now alot more introverted and wary about engaging in another 3some. Remember she has been there before, and unfortnately she did not enjoy the experience.I am not here to find another girl for our menage a trois, but actually a guy, as my mission is about attempting to inject some passion back into the relationship.I could be barking up the wrong tree, but when you love someone i guess you try all sorts of things.So to redi and hotblond, i am not gay/bi but would love to make my wifes threesome an experience to remember for all the right reasons. If it never happens that is my lot in life- At least i have still met some absolutely unreal people on the site.To those people- Gaz, Jose, Sal & Andy, Trish, Sophie, - Merry Christmas guys hope you all have a very fun and safe break. If ever you are out and about in Bris look us up, i'll shout you a beer or three
-
RHP User
16 years ago
In response to the comment above "I have said time and again, no sex = no marriage" Is that a threat you have made to your wife? If so, would the solution be to follow through and move on? I do not think you have chosen the wrong person if you both choose to play with others for threesomes, partner swapping or whatever else you may both be into. Infact, if you are doing it for the right reasons then clearly you have chosen the right person....someone that understands and is supportive of you and what you want from a relationship and someone you can share some amazing experiences with. I have cheated and I have been cheated on. Neither side is a good place to be. It is not about the sex with cheating though, it is about the reasons for it and the broken trust and the lies. x Sal
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15096 Comments: 88149
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1416 Comments: 10248
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11713
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2503 Comments: 9785
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 993 Comments: 5012
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1301 Comments: 5771
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 779 Comments: 1981
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 869
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share