M38
Does it hurt to have manners
September 12 2018
Comments
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Others have asked before and gotten the same reply as this. I can tell you from when I created my single profile, we women have our inboxes flooded. I tried replying to all but to be honest I ran out of time trying to individually replying to hundreds of messages. Yes, your message is just one message to reply to, but multiply that by the amount of male members on here, especially in a metro area like Sydney. It's honestly not as easy as you think. I am sorry you are getting nasty replys though, no one can judge your situation. Mrs A x - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Your profile opens with a comment about you being “care free” Your lengthy topic would run contrary to that. Even the Dalai Lama would grow tired of replying back to every greeting he receives..... and I bet none of those would be a hard sell about how they can fuck him all night long with any and all manner of random self praising sexual resume exclamations Even you wouldn’t say hello back to everyone who randomly greets you in the street. I’m certain you’ve waved off charity collectors at one point. Now, imagine you walk down the street and it’s a writing crowded mass of buckets and koalas and pamphlets and hands in your pocket In here, that’s kind of what the experience can be like for women. So while you are playing the “nice guy card” and thus expect a reply.... your attitude is just that..... expectant behaviour. If someone doesn’t reply.... that’s the same as waving away a charity worker. It’s a no-thank-you The sooner you decide to do you, and allow others to decide if they want to do you back.... the happier you will be HOW you draft a message that compells a reply..... that’s s while other topic (hint..... nice-guy style is boring in here and as you’ve observed.... lost in the crowd) DG - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Seachange73
7 years ago
Hello OP. Agree with above. It's tough going for single men (lone male individual, regardless of marital status) on rhp as mentioned above. This topic is raised ad infinitum. Almost on a weekly basis. I have included a recent thread on this and you will find the answers you seek. https://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/I-think-its-just-basic-manners-to-answer-a-message-regardless-if-its-a-yes-or-no-whats-everyones-thoughts-57088 Best wishes.
-
MissRedFox
7 years ago
If guys got as many messages women did theyd do the same It's not a manners issue it's probably a time issue From another perspective if there was a girl interested in you would you prefer her to be chatting to you Or being well mannered and spending time messaging back all the guys she's not interested in - Posted from rhpmobile
-
BungCpl
7 years ago
And read what people have taken the time to write in their profiles and then respect the part that says no single males? #AskingForAFriendOnRHP
-
DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
You will soon learn, that on this site it is best to have no entitlements nor expectations. No one owes you anything, not even the courtesy of a response to your unsolicited / uninvited messages. You are married. You are also a smoker. These two attributes will make you “persona non grata” in the eyes of many on here. Couples and single “females” (many are neither single nor female) can get dozens of unsolicited messages daily. Many receive abusive messages should they turn someone down. Often the reply is along the lines of “why are you not interested in me and or you don’t know what you are missing ....” One soon becomes tired & disillusioned with the disrespectful messages and responses to your reply and it is often much easier, and less stressful, to simply not reply at all. It does not mean that one does not have manners. No reply at all is a reply . It is a reply that one is NOT interested. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
so why the f*ck would I assume you're a rare "nice" guy that won't abuse me or name call me if i was to politely reply? You're not entitled to anything here...free sex, replies to messages, etc. And ranting about it in forums will just confirm for any women you DO message not to reply.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Oh yes, yes, yes And then you politely reply to them, rejecting them which I think we are allowed to do for whatever reason so then they come at you in other ways OP, partnered or single , your status is irrelevant, you paid your membership which allows you to peruse profiles and contact people and that is all your entitled to
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Its not hard to say no thank you... or yes lets chat. You get all these single women profiles saying... " Not interested in flirts message me " You message and they look at profile and ignore you. WOW... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Replying takes time because you have to read the profile blurb, examine the stats, look at the pics, read validations and possibly view friends in common etc... Multiply that by the several hundred you inntally receive on joining and it takes hours. Then you have to actually decide yes vs no vs maybe, and there's a misconception that that is spontaneous. It might take some time to decide. And if you do reply, do you have time to actually have the resulting conversation? Then account for the frustration of it being evident no one has read your profile anyway, the app hanging every five minutes, actually having to read the many flat out rude messages taking a toll emotionally - and get a big case of the 'who can be fucked's. I once went through and replied to some messages. It took 3 hours to get through them all, and that was at day 10 of rejoining. And then what? I had a handful of people I didn't have time to see anyway, so what was the point? At the end of the day, I don't owe anyone anything here. Not to log in and even read the message, let alone reply. Not replying is constantly deemed as bad manners, yet is countered with entitlement and rudeness. "You must talk to me because I talked to you" sounds like InCel speak to me, so I don't want to message you anyway. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Rotaboy has hit the nail on the head. For the record on one of the comments at the top I do not message other members who’s profiles say not looking for single guys, I read each profile carefully and look at what they are “looking for” Paying close attention to age and if they are attached or unattached. I look close for the ones who say they are looking/open to discreet affairs. I do not message if I am not a inside the criteria they have listed as what they are looking for. Example the one time I did get a reply we exchanged several messages and they asked to talk on kik I provided my username there a week later they have not added/started a chat on kik so I sent them a message on here in case they forgot or what ever the case may be. Asking very nicely if they wished to keep chatting or not. That is where the manners comes in they sent the flirt to me asking me to message them so I did and then they just after asking for kik details end all communication. I understand women get a lot of messages on here, but it’s kind of bullshit when you take the time to message those that flirt with you as they won’t pay for membership and expect the guys to pay to then have them after to waste a message on them not bother replying when they asked you to message them.....
-
RHP User
7 years ago
You have no idea what’s going on in other people’s lives We get busy Things get in the way (IE, wives or husbands may kind of expect their partner to be readily available to them, for example). And occasionally..... we may say something that rings a warning bell inn heir mind and they turn away My earlier point remains valid. When you stop expecting everyone else to be at your call, you’ll be a lot happier 😎 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Or your to be ex will say. Shame i dont get as many boobie pics as doodle pics in my box umm i mean inbox. If only he had some real problems. My specific issue with married people. Its just entitled narcissism. Nothing stops them from saying they're single though. Like Mr i can only talk on Wednesdays or late at night. I wish not getting answers was my biggest issue on sex sites. On the plus side i havent gotten any anus pics or been called a c u next tuesday this week. More boobies please. From the woman who really is single and loves it. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I was planning on contributing my 20 cents worth, but after reading through the responses I'm confident everyone has covered it. Txx - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
No actually there is an angle thats been skipped. Blaming women for their choice in men. Essentially, absolving men of their behaviour and placing the onus on the woman. Just like "my ex is crazy and i said im sorry so if youre angry im the victim." So ultimately women are just not bothering to engage with a married man who rants as told they should behave or its their own fault, then of course getting blamed for that...? The real reason why i never react. Please stand me up its fine..I want you none the wiser when crazy chick gets her hands on you Ive been pestering a chick all day for boobie pics. She hasnt sent them, but shes still talking to me. Go figure. Maybe it is you and youre responsible. No wonder wifey doesnt do the dance. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Vixen_cougar the reason my wife does not as you have put it do the dance is due to her suffering from endometriosis causing her great pain and discomfort. Not wanting to cause her undue pain, I am trying to find someone to help fill basic primal needs, in doing so I well not be as horny and wanting her to suffer. I care for my wife and love her. And want to reduce the amount of pain sex cause by filling the needs in other places. So thank you for providing my point about a lot of women on here passing judgment on me. I could not have proven it any better then your last comment. Clearly this forum post has become a witch hunt and an attack on me for doing what I have seen some many women do on other forums, it’s ok for a female to have a rant forum but the second a male does it, others turn it in to an attack against them saying they are entitled and other such crap. I not once said I was entitled I merely asked why some mean women choose to have no manners and give a simple no thank reply. I understand there are some right dicks out there who may send back a dirty message calling women sluts and bitchs etc, and I’m sorry that most of you have experience this from some of the men on here, but to just assume all men will do that is piss poor. One last point to make vixen_couger is that you did send me a flirt asking me to message you to which I did the Last message between us was me asking you what you were looking for. Your reply it says what I’m looking for on my profile, I replied back asking for clarification saying I was attached and it said that on my profile and wanted to confirm what you are looking for as you asked me to contact you knowing I was attached. It was at this last message to you that you did not reply showing once again what I am saying manners are in very short supply.
-
DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
Out of the blue we get the following : “Drinks at crown, i then seduce your wife and make her panties drip. She can't take it anymore so we head back and she can't keep her hand off me. I then give her the most amazing sex that leaves her horny for the next week needing more of my cock.” There was no hello, no introduction. The sender got straight to the point. And then opened his cock photos. Reading his profile, he possessed all the attributes that WE. find unappealing : tattoos, smoker, unshaven, dirty uncut fingernails , nose rings, safe sex if required, wearing a hoodie and his cap on backwards, dirty room with clothes strewn on the floor in the background .... His profile wording read as follows : About Me Sex addict High sex drive Adventurous Open Minded Experimental Deviant Foreplay Kinks Needless to say we impolitely blocked him without further notice. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Dynamiccouple36 Sorry to hear you had such a shit experience, but again to judge all single males by the experience of a few shitheads is right alot of my messages never even get opened. And what you experience there could be a major factor. Every message i send starts with hello or hi, asking how there day has been and asking if we can just have a chat and see if we click. I open my private gallery that has only face pics in it i wait til they ask for dick pics/nudes. I have never and will never said anything close to what you got. I also try to include some detail from there profile to show ive read it. I respect others age limits and other factors if they have looking for unattached i move on and donot pester them. It just starts to get down heartening when i never get any real replys, the only replys i do get are very judgemental about being on her and married. If you look at my profile i state clearly im also just looking for friends and if that friendship leads to fwb great if not im fine with that to. It would just be nice to have replys and people to chat with also. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
You’re just not listening....... and trying to rationalise to suit yourself People reply if they want to. Anymore than that IS your expectation But that’s been said a number of times I’m tapping out as in spite of the advice asked for, and received..... you’re not manning-up past your ego and actually hearing it DG
-
Seachange73
7 years ago
Ditto Mischievous Lad. I'm trying to be sympathetic and perhaps put something constructive on what others have already said. No personal attacks but I can see that any comments will be misconstrued as a personal attack based on the OPs response to the comments. All I can say is that you are just a stranger to any of your contacts. Don't take things personally as it will make your experience a negative one. The more you rant and rave against the women, the more they will run to the hills from you. I hear your frustrations but don't judge us women as well. Listen to the women's comments and reflect on the message. Pick your battles. Sorry to hear about your wife's condition. If you need sex, go to a brothel to scratch that itch. Might serve you better and less frustrating. Or hang around the pub to see if you can hook up there. Good luck
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks to everyone who has posted. I have read all comments some i find to be personal attacks others have been helpful and enlighting. Im sorry to any one who may have miss understood some of the things i have said, it was not my intention. Im sorry to the women who have received not so nice replys from other men they are as much to blame for there lack of manners. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
When we posted an example of the message we received today , we were not judging all males by this message, only the idiot who sent us the message. Best you read our post again. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Dorey12
7 years ago
Chippy, it's just as hard for us single guys to get reply back. But what gets me miffed is when you do get a reply from a message and so you send a couple of messages back and forward a couple of times and then all of a sudden you don't get a reply back. So to not seem "creepy" should you send another message? Or just let it go?
-
Seachange73
7 years ago
That would depend on the reason why they decide not to reply to you after several exchange of messages. We are not privy to the conversation. Maybe it's something you said that may have triggered something or raised a red flag. This happens a lot with some men. A couple of messages, then some men launch into 'full on' sexual path or get very impatient or shows signs of being different from their profile. Or They just changed their mind because they are busy or found someone else that matches their needs better. Don't take it personally. It happens to men, women and couples. But more to single male. Wish you luck.
-
newyboy70
7 years ago
It's better to not reply if you are not interested. On CL when it was around, if you replied No, thanks anyway. The jealous ones would flag your ad and it would get pulled. Then they would target you and your ad would last 5 minutes before it was flagged again and again.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I used to try to reply to all of the messages but it became a burden, to time consuming and incredibly stressful as guys begged, tried harder and didn’t take no for an answer. Or worse, they started abusing me. It was really common to say no thank you then get an abusive message like ‘you think you are to good for me? You are nothing but a fat unattractive dirty disease ridden slut blah blah who should be grateful for my attention.’ Hard to find the desire to respond when you never know if they are going to beg or abuse you. Fact: It’s not you, it’s me, always applies. It’s my desires, my attractions, my turn ons, and it’s just bad luck if you aren’t it. It’s nothing against you, I don’t expect or want you to change yourself to meet my requirements, we just don’t match.... and there isn’t any point pretending otherwise
-
Dorey12
7 years ago
No I were just talking about normal everyday things and the last message I sent asked how her weekend was? Maybe the problem was I was being "too boring and nice" because at no time launch into anything sexual. Maybe I got ghosted because they didn't want to waste the time on something that they didn't want to take further. Quoting 'Seachange' That would depend on the reason why they decide not to reply to you after several exchange of messages. We are not privy to the conversation. Maybe it's something you said that may have triggered something or raised a red flag. This happens a lot with some men. A couple of messages, then some men launch into 'full on' sexual path or get very impatient or shows signs of being different from their profile. Or They just changed their mind because they are busy or found someone else that matches their needs better. Don't take it personally. It happens to men, women and couples. But more to single male. Wish you luck.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
First...... I’m 100% certain that there are an endless list of conversational topics which fit between “how was your weekend.... and launching into sexual projection. You make it sound like there are only those two options 🤣.... but I’m also 100% certain that the majority of conversations you’ve had in your life fall outside those two options A little thought, and some empathy for the female message receiving experience in sites like this, can help you to stand out DG
-
On_Safari
7 years ago
OP if I were you I’d be counting my blessing you didn’t get any further with Vixen (she seems off-tap) so maybe it’s also your screening/choice of women. Also I didn’t think any of the responses were personal except for the jumbled crap from one person who’s comments about your wife were unnecessary. Not everyone here is safe, sane or worth the hassle. And it’s true, no reply is a reply so “pony up” and move on, no harm no foul. I guess my main question is - does your wife know you’re here? And a suggestion perhaps you could both create a couples profile so she can participate in The Search. A lot of women (coupled/single) will rest easier having spoken with your wife as a truer reflection of your ‘nice guy’ persona and genuine honesty. *Disclaimer - I have not had any prior exchanges with/opinions on the Vixen profile so don’t take my review based on the comments above as knowing this person personally. It’s just an observation.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Lol does it hurt to have manners?? Yes it does...hence why you’re clearly not seeing them 😂 cos I dunno about you, but I ain’t doin shit that hurts...
-
RHP User
7 years ago
The messager matches and has all the right mannerisms but there are so many justifications for why people don't have to bother to reply. It's not like there aren't a pile of features we can use to tailor our experiences but still people are all about themselves without consideration for fellow human's feelings. I feel for those people that they let the bad apples ruin it for the genuine by not looking at them as individuals we all are. Everything I've learned in and from the many courses I've attended goes against the behaviour I see encouraged here. Do unto others after all. 🍑
-
RHP User
7 years ago
That people need to read profiles to see what boundaries are stated there... If, as someone has said on another thread, they state they won't reply unless there is interest, they have in my opinion made that clear and it's up to people to read and understand that. Peachy
-
RHP User
7 years ago
But Peachy....... so many say they’re here to “push your boundaries” lol I think I maybe what they’re really saying is.... “ I’ll make you wish your boundary was an electrified security fence “ 😂
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15097 Comments: 88138
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1416 Comments: 10246
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11718
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2503 Comments: 9782
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 996 Comments: 5046
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1301 Comments: 5768
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 779 Comments: 1981
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 869
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share