Does sexual liberation change your views on sex and relationships forever?

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  We are married and have kids- and swinging is something we as a couple have only started since our last kids were born and long after we were married... I had experimented with it before this relationship, and had enjoyed it to the point that I felt as long as my wife was comfortable enough to try, it was something I'd be happy to make into part of our lives... on the other hand had she said no, I wouldn't have left her for the fact that I couldn't swing... so I think it will always depend on the two individuals involved and their feelings for each other against the importance of swinging in their lives... On a personal note o.p.... I would have to say that my views have been changed somewhat by the lifestyle... initially we feel that 'true love' and 'marriage' mean that we'll only be sleeping with one person for the rest of our days out of respect to that person... but what if their fantasies include other men, threesomes, other girls, and any other forms of debauchery... are we then not doing them a disservice through un-abiding infidelity? At the end of the day, I feel it will always come down to the individual couple, and whether they value the lifestyle more than each others' companionship... What would happen if one of the people in a long term swinging relationship had had enough, does the other partner have to call it a day or do they work out a one-sided open relationship... and most importantly, no matter what they decide, who are we to judge what they are both happy to settle for?

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  guykinkster

  11 years ago

  Like all of us, I've seen other people's (and my own) relationships fall apart whether there was infidelity or not. Today, honesty and a few ground rules go further than anything else in the past ever had. I don't think my sexual liberation changed or shaped my views, my observations did. I'll have a liberated perspective the rest of my life I think whether we're both playing or only one, together or apart. I've never had the urge to be monogamous (read monotonous), so its better to change it into honesty and find someone who's on the same wavelength. Tick. From this site we've met couples that have been swingers for over 20 years, right from the start of their marriages. It can and does work. We're approaching the 10 year mark. And did it finish after kids? No. There was a pause in activity and now there are fewer opportunities and flexibility but with some dedication, the time and opportunity can be made. What if the kids find out? Hopefully not till they're active themselves but it just gives them concrete permission to explore the freedoms we're enjoying ourselves. Wouldn't you just be the coolest parents/grandparents if your kids could be honest about why they want you to mind the grand kids overnight? So in answer, yep, in my view, once a swinger always a swinger. Just embrace the changes through your life and accept that your priorities will need to shift a bit through various stages.

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  Balham

  11 years ago

  Thanks guys, for your fascinating insight.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  There comes a point where you have to draw the line between your sex life and your parenting. That's where the dilemma comes into play. Will exposing your polyamorous lifestyle to your children be helpful or harmful? What kind of morals and ethical values do you want to instill in them? Or do you hide everything away and live in pretence? What a fucking hard decision..

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  madotara69

  11 years ago

  We have a little 3 year old girl and her little playground up at the park is more important than our playground, so we just cruise. Mado Tara xx

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  You talk about honesty. You talk about "we". Yet your profile says you are single.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'JerseyGirl' You talk about honesty. You talk about "we". Yet your profile says you are single. Lol, I was just about to make that comment, but you beat me to it.

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