Ego, Rejection and Attachment. What has the lifestyle taught you?

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  PandaAndBri

  8 days ago

  Wonderful Topic. As a woman we are our own worst critics. The body positivity I have seen and the compliments from many people have certainly helped my self esteem no end in the lifestyle. Most people in the lifestyle admire other bodies regardless or shape or size or diffences and that is amazing! If only the normals could do that. Rejection- I have developed a bit of a thicker skin with this too which is welcome both in the lifestyle and normal life. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and sometimes it’s just something else is going in inthe background and I don’t need to take it to heart. Jealousy. Still working on that a little. Wish I had even a table spoon of the sexiness of some of the ladies who cam and of some of the guys these girls get to play with. But it’s not a dragon type size, just a little bit of jealousy. The lifestyle has taught me so much and I am so grateful to these lessons I have learnt and the ones I have yet to go. Bri

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  Cucknshells

  8 days ago

  Being on here and in the lifestyle has been like a roller coaster. At the beginning it is like being a kid in a candy store. Over time you can get a bit jaded. But then you get back on the ride again. Initially it made me look at my body differently. I realised that I wasn't as bad as I thought I was and that I was sexy and desirable. My opinion of my body has gone up and down as I have gotten older and changed. However I have leant that sexiness isn't only physical. I have experienced jealously and then learnt about compersion. Not sure how the lifestyle has helped me deal with it as it wouldn't have been an issue if I wasn't in the lifestyle. But it has made me be more reflective and open minded. I still hate being rejected but I try to not take it personally. I learned that we all like different things. The lifestyle has opened me up to so many great and wonderful experiences. All have been a lesson. Shells xx

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  CallMeV

  8 days ago

  This is the best topic/question I have seen after a very long time. Welldone K Hate towards the colour and race is real and transparent here. Met a lot of great people who genuinely care and it never last long. Realised people are just passing clouds in your life. Rejections are hard to take in initially but it gives an opportunity to look at myself and be a courageous guy. Always made me realise “You are not for everyone” lol Jealousy is good in my opinion, it can be negative and positive too. Worst thing you can do is a comparison. That can affect mentally and affect a person’s confidence and their life can go upside down especially on RHP.

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  VibingBunny

  8 days ago

  What has the lifestyle taught me? Ego and comparison taught me humility. Rejection taught me discernment. Jealousy taught me to be more self-aware and grateful. Ultimately I learned resilience and that my value isn’t determined by who wants me, who leaves me, or who deletes chats. Speaks more to someone’s character how they choose to interact with you - but always remember to trust your gut.

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  austeuro

  7 days ago

  as always you have great questions and I am always impressed with your way of thinking I think that like everything in life, we should look positively in life, even when someone rejects us, and we should not accept it personally, but as a good thing that we need to improve on ourselves in order to reach some goal. unfortunately in today's world of thinking where we are very selfish especially a lot of men do not know how to accept rejection and continue to value it is very confusing. what I learned in this way of life. there are a lot of good things to learn. such as understanding, respect, differences in what some people like or don't like. Jealousy is not good because it doesn't keep the person you want, you somehow push them away from you.

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  nutsundae

  7 days ago

  Damn, another great topic that really made me stop and think. Short answer - plenty, and lots. My journey isn't over though. At least I hope not. I'd like to think I still have capacity for more learning and growth. It's made me think back to my start in the lifestyle. Wide eyed and totally naïve. Completely surreal. Heart pounding, head spinning. The internal monologue seemingly stuck in an endless loop of 'Wait, is this real - is this really happening?'. Early exchanges here on the platform. A weird sense that is was vitally important to get every tiny little thing perfectly right. No room for error. My first outreach to result in a block. The feeling of almost terrorised panic. Omg omg omg - what did I do wrong to cause such offense? Parties with friendly, warm, wonderful, amazing people. Not really connecting with anyone. Feeling so despondent in the days after. Rejected. Broken. Wondering what I was doing wrong. Wondering what was wrong with me. Desperately wishing I could be 'the hot guy'. But also knowing I'd found my tribe. It took me a while to find my groove. To rediscover and appreciate that attractiveness isn’t binary. That there isn't anyone who everyone is attracted to. Some people you'll connect with, others you won't. That there are people out there who will be drawn to me, and others who will pass. Which is ok, because George Clooney is in exactly the same boat. Yes, ok, sure - the percentages is each column might be (very) different, but we’ve both got TWO columns and that's the important bit… Learning what's most important is to strive to the best version of myself. For me. To be comfortable in my own skin and care less about universal acceptance from others. Which is easy to say, hard to do. Rejection still kicks hard. As connections began to seed and blossom in a wonderfully convoluted spider web that gets simultaneously messier and more beautiful over time - as is often the case in this community - learning how to process and manage the feelings that comes with that. Accepting and embracing that sharing intimacy with me and desiring others is not mutually exclusive. Exploring my capacity for giving, for receiving. For sharing. I used to get envious all the time. Always comparing. Always wishing. Younger. Hotter. Gym jacked. Better. It's hard not to. Especially at the start. Less so now. I'm far more comfortable. Content. Whenever I do relapse, I try to remind myself of that wonderful Teddy Roosevelt quote: 'Comparison is the thief of joy.' It's a beautiful adage. Wish I was as smart to write stuff like that….

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