F45
Falling for your "friends with benefits" what to do about it..
July 19 2013
Comments
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sweetgem
12 years ago
I would tell him if I was in your situation jewel2032. Yes there is a 50/50 (if not higher) chance that things could go sour and you might lose a friend, but if you're already falling for him, then it means that deeper feelings will only be developing in a matter of time. What if he sees another woman, can you handle that? Would you kick yourself for not telling him how you feel if one day he tells you that he's in love with someone else and he wants to be normal (non-sexual) friends only with you? How long can you pretend that there's nothing more in front of him? Think on the reverse position, would you rather your FWB friend tell you how he feels about you if you could sense something extra is cooking up in the arrangement? Wouldn't you rather know? OP, if you do end up telling your friend how you feel and if he doesn't like it, then you know he's not a good choice for long term. All the best, I wish you would find your ultimate happiness soon :-)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
sounds like you're in a relationship already!! id say something...test the waters a little first
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Choose your words carefully and don't do it in the afterglow of raunchy hot sex!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Broach the topic carefully. I have been in the same situation and when I mentioned this to him things got weird. I'm not saying that your situation will be the same but please take care. If you say nothing then your feelings will continue to deepen. Maybe don't come straight out and say it but that you want to clarify what both of you want from your current situation, have you discussed whether you are exclusive? If he agrees to be exclusive then it is a step in the right direction.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Are released. It's not a good time to discuss anything that is highly emotional because those hormones will do the talking. This happens to both men and women. You do need to talk because your feelings are changing the rules that you both agreed upon at the beginning. You may be disappointed in the outcome of that conversation, however i think whether you loose a friend or not will largely depend on how you conduct yourself during these conversations. If he doesn't want more but believes you can manage your emotions he may choose to stay in your life as a friend.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Too much contact, too much invested.... ..... you took the road to fwb town, but the heavy contact has kicked in the relationship vibe. Time to figure out what you both want, without compromise. DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
This part is never easy Try this --- Tell him that if he would like to go further and into a relationship you would be OK with it. Do not talk love or anything else just say that and see what happens.
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RHP User
12 years ago
are we still FWB's or has a relationship snuck up on us ?"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well being on the land of RHP sure at some point we are bound to meet some people we really,really like and started to fall for them perhaps...after all we are human with feelings , but this is the tricky part as he or she might not share the same feelings and now what do we do ?...i suggest you just had to tell him in this case and see what his reaction but mind you be prepared (make sure you have a heart of steel ) ...be ready with the worse out comes and shouldnt feel let down, after all you've disscussed it early on ...try to understand his postion as well , but hopefully he is open for further , more ideal relation/ship...but if he is not at least you had a great 5 months out of that friendship and if i am you i would stopped seeing him , after all i dont want to torture my self/soul... i will say next , and move on... or move to another dating site that more ideal for what you looking for , i guess being on the Land of RHP it is not easy , we do need heart made of steel or turn ourselves into a Robbot with no feelings , lol !...but i said , good luck and may you find something that will make you happy and fullfilled we are not here to get hurt but unfortunately i can see that happens to many people, yes emotional intellegance is very,very important when you are on here i believed...must be mentally ready for the fall,all the best Jewel 2032
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RHP User
12 years ago
Have you had it yet?? FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
This contract FWB allows either to seek relations with someone else without consultation to the existing FWB, does it not?.Therefore create the ruse that you may be entertaining a new FWB and is he ok with that? Meter the response.. Creating shallow realms such as these type of FWB arrangements won't stop love. As you've now discovered.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I disagree with your advice. Communication is not aided by game playing, in fact it gets in the way of real communication and connection. Be Real. Games are for players.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Im with you on this too. Once head-fuck games are played - its all over Red Rover! Be you authentic self...keep it real...be honest and listen...like really listen to other person and yourself. He needs to he given a choice as well in this situation to be heard...and to me bring up a conversation about seeing other people to get a reaction, is poor form. Best of Luck OP; my fingers are crossed for you. FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
That you should RUN!!!!! Very fast too....the rules were at the start no relationship, so just walk away. Some might say I'm too negative, but had he been thinking the same thing, he'd have already mentioned it by now. - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
12 years ago
If you are falling for him, then there is a chance that his feelings have changed. If you can not handle an answer, then do not ask the question, as it will be honest. That is what I tell people,in the case where they may want to ask me a question. I think it is fair.Maybe your friend would appreciate the truth, what ever the answer, it may well be a deal breaker if you keep it from him too long. I would want to know how a friend is feeling. But that is just me.It is really a matter where your feelings will lay if the answer is not what you wish to hear, so it is probably worth talking about that with it all.My guess is that he already senses these feelings, you girls go a bit silly when you fall, and a gentleman will give some space for being sure with yourself. It is just good manners.Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
FWB is a game people play. A contract. A protection clause to avoid falling in love if you like. There are many ways to operate within a contract without offering the termination clause because you don't consider an annexure can be agreed on. Be creative, be daring or be straight. But please be something other than afraid.
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