M43 F30
Female masculinity or male femininity
January 06 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Chemical heart, you are looking in the wrong places. Truly, if you met me you would be surprised at how dainty and ladylike I am. Just because I have a strapon in my handbag doesn't change that. But yes, how very sad for you. Not sure what your self fore-filling prophecy is? I believe in equal rights for all and that everyone is an individual and unique in their own way, gone are the days where women had to pander to a man's ego. Lucky for me. But I think that is your real issue though, you want a woman too pander to you as the big strong man. But truly, that is something you have to feel within yourself without outside validation.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ok, I was going to write a lengthy comment on this, but I'll just end up saying something I shouldn't and as someone said to me this morning, if people really hold those sort of views you're not going to be able to change them and I'm tired of wasting my energy on these forums. But I will say, if you or any other man feel that threatened by women finally having some measure of equality (still a long way to go mind), and them having the choice to not behave like submissive, 'refined', 'oh please Mr Big Man can you help me cross the street because I'm just a feeble woman and lack the brain power to do so' princesses if they don't want to, then the problem is with you. If a man doesn't like the way I behave or thinks I'm not 'feminine' enough for him, frankly he can kiss my arse. I couldn't give a flying fuck and am not going to censor myself to meet the approval of any male.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I agree. I think the problem is also with ChemicalHearts mindset.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't you feel like a man Chemicalheart? I mean what is a rugged masculine man supposed to be like???
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mark Renton: "One thousand years from now there'll be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me."
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RHP User
12 years ago
Nailed it Chemicalheart. I agree with you whole heartedly. I love being completely feminine and bring treated as such. That doesn't mean I'm not a strong, independent woman - but I pride myself in being the modern, graceful and elegant lady to which you refer. We're out there, but as you observed - fewer and further between each year.
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RHP User
12 years ago
'Please explain.' I'd like to know what your definition of refined ladies and rugged men are. I've worked in the manliest of jobs but I also like going to the theatre and art galleries. I've worked beside ladies that were as though as any bloke but enjoyed putting on a frock and fine dining. Or is this just another case of labeling?
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RHP User
12 years ago
You say that you are a strong and independent woman, I think this is what Chemicalheart means by manly traits and that strong independent women are not feminine. I think?? Actually what does it mean that women have more manly behaviour and manly traits? What traits and what do you mean by that?
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RHP User
12 years ago
By referring to myself as strong and independent, I'm saying I'm emotionally and mentally strong, and I'm financially independent and capable of doing many things without assistance. My interpretation of what Chemicalheart was that he was saying was referring to the growing number of rough speaking, rough dressing, spitting, smoke hanging out of the mouth blokey looking females that grace society more each day.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' Ok, I was going to write a lengthy comment on this, but I'll just end up saying something I shouldn't and as someone said to me this morning, if people really hold those sort of views you're not going to be able to change them and I'm tired of wasting my energy on these forums. But I will say, if you or any other man feel that threatened by women finally having some measure of equality (still a long way to go mind), and them having the choice to not behave like submissive, 'refined', 'oh please Mr Big Man can you help me cross the street because I'm just a feeble woman and lack the brain power to do so' princesses if they don't want to, then the problem is with you. If a man doesn't like the way I behave or thinks I'm not 'feminine' enough for him, frankly he can kiss my arse. I couldn't give a flying fuck and am not going to censor myself to meet the approval of any male. Eye to eye, I could not have said that better, even being a man, must be my feminine side. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think there has to be a balance as there are a lot of times and situations when you need to be strong and in control but that needs to be balanced out to allow empathy, flexibility and compassion. For me everyone should have the choice to be who they want to be without having to be inflected by either side of the fences view of projecting how someone should act. btw, Lol Luckdragon .... tell us what you really think :-P
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RHP User
12 years ago
" Could we have underestimated the damage of an almost undistinguished equality between male and female?" This question I'm concerned with. Exactly what ARE you implying here OP? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I like to wear dresses, high heels and perfume but does it make me less ladylike that sometimes I like to drink a beer instead of a glass of wine? Does it make me less of a lady because I'm independent, can change a light bulb, know how to use the barbie, earn my own income, stand up for my rights as a human and don't back down when confronted by "rugged, masculine modern men"? The thing that confuses me the most is that you use the words "modern women" and "modern men" but seem to have the same mentality of the typical oppressive male. Or do you mean a lady in the street and a Whorsein the bedroom?
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Lovinit28andKC72
12 years ago
Well I guess you'd call me a masculine woman then....I'm a jeans and shirt kinda girl, I prefer to wear strapping sandals, I swear a lot, I like beer, I have lots of tattoos, I work with 25 men and I like watching all kinds of sport.....this is what I'm most comfortable in and doing..... But in saying that, I do own lots of pretty dressing, and high heels, I know when to swear and when not to, I also drink vodka & soda, and I like going to art galleries and musicals... I also take pride in the way I look like, I get my hair and nails done regularly, I go to the beautician every 2 weeks, I have 2 very full wardrobes of cloths, I own at least 50 pairs of shoe, probably about the same amount of handbags, and I had a fetish for expensive sunglasses and perfumes...... All that I do, and how I look is for me, and not the opposite sex. Everything I have is paid for by me, (ok my Prada sunglasses were a gift) So this is me, and that's how I roll....💋 - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
12 years ago
Quoting 'Lovinit28' Well I guess you'd call me a masculine woman then....I'm a jeans and shirt kinda girl, I prefer to wear strapping sandals, I swear a lot, I like beer, I have lots of tattoos, I work with 25 men and I like watching all kinds of sport.....this is what I'm most comfortable in and doing..... But in saying that, I do own lots of pretty dressing, and high heels, I know when to swear and when not to, I also drink vodka & soda, and I like going to art galleries and musicals... I also take pride in the way I look like, I get my hair and nails done regularly, I go to the beautician every 2 weeks, I have 2 very full wardrobes of cloths, I own at least 50 pairs of shoe, probably about the same amount of handbags, and I had a fetish for expensive sunglasses and perfumes...... All that I do, and how I look is for me, and not the opposite sex. Everything I have is paid for by me, (ok my Prada sunglasses were a gift) So this is me, and that's how I roll....💋 - Posted from rhpmobile although I don't work with 25 men unfortunately...lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm a bouncer, I drink beer, I'm raising two boys. My hair is past my shoulders, nails get done regularly, I adore shoes. I've got pairs of heels I've worn once but can't bear the thought of throwing them out. I've been known to out swear drunken sailors, yet in the right company not slip any naughty words. Women need to be able to look after themselves, it's the way things are. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' Mark Renton: "One thousand years from now there'll be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me." I read that book while travelling around Scotland! Happy to be a wanker! I'm sorry that I have nothing intellectual to add to this discussion. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what the OP is saying. Me thinks the kind of 'lady' the OP seeks is rarer than a unicorn. May not have been rare 100 years ago though. Androgyny is very fucking sexy you know.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't feel manly enough around strong women... They think that if a women has a mind or an opinion, then they cant be feminine, and somehow it reflects on the mans masculinity! Men need to be men in their own right instead of blaming women for their lack of a manly feeling...just my thoughts :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP dear,Doctor Who and his Tardis are on their way.....now which century would you choose I wonder
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RHP User
12 years ago
of course it's the fault of chickens..too many hormones in chickens....whoreses for courses
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is mark renton from trainspottinghope soTagged on the back ofd the conversation I was very taken your comment paint_me". Your very correct, androgyny is sexy
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think there are more sexy women in the world than rugged men anyday. I know because I have been both! Women are elegant, witty, respectful, sexy and intelligent. The difference is we are not subservient unless we choose to be so. Rugged men walk a fine line between arrogance and respect, if no respect is shown to an independent and resourceful woman the arrogance will breed contempt. Good manners are the basis for elegance and femininity. Respect follows.
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wingman2014
12 years ago
Unfortunately You were born in the wrong century . - Posted from rhpmobile
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wingman2014
12 years ago
Sounds like you have 25 handbags lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Can you give it another try OP. there's a point there, but......? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
wrong with being equal on a mental level. We are lucky in this i respect here in Australia. There is fucking lot's wrong looking the same, or nearly the same.Women have curves and when we start to make women into straight lined figures without any curves we are losing a lot not, only being female.Thats what makes me frighten not the mental equality in life. I am way past this pressure of being a super model type female, PFFF, but the young woman today who obey by the pressure in society to look hmmmm all the same, I fear not only they loose to be feminine I fear also they lose the inner self esteem to Be.When i hear on the radio,,,,a good looking young woman of 24 need to think about Botox now....so her self esteem will not suffer in case she get wrinkles....please give me a breakBut that's me old fart.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry all but I find this rather insulting ? It's no different to race or religion ? I'm a pale skin aboriginal male that still recalls how my mob had been treated up to 15 years ago and black females worst again... My grandmother was an ex hooker in SA did it make her a slut of a lady ? FUK NO it made here a provider for her children :) I don't see any relevance if we are male or female or what we do for work ? The only thing I look for in any person is the true heart to then selves no more no less... No more labels grrr
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madotara69
12 years ago
don't you reckon hey Warning. Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
I sure do mate I sure friggen doooo lol so u guys heading to meet n greet ? Love to say hi is all u seem overly witty lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
So the interesting thing is that masculinity and femininity are socially constructed concepts. There is no behaviour that is "feminine" or "masculine", it's just what we as a society believe most females or most males do. More often than not, it's complete crap. There is far more variety of behaviours within groups (i.e women vs women, men vs men) in this case than there is between groups (men vs women). This has been shown multiple times across gender studies research.
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RHP User
12 years ago
What my opinion should be.
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Lovinit28andKC72
12 years ago
I actully call them my 25 other children (whinging, precious, sooky arse things they all are)....lol Oh and my handbags are much prettier than them..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Into super sexy androgyny is totally fine by me... Too sexy!! You are so right PaintMe
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RHP User
12 years ago
To much tropical heat can really fuck your mind,!! You need to head south get some fresh cold air in your nostrils smell the sweat of hard working tough guys , and be dazzled by a multitude of magnificent feminine ladies that look like angels smell like roses and do have thorns! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Violetincredible'Into super sexy androgyny is totally fine by me... Too sexy!! You are so right PaintMe
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Nyloncd4u'Is mark renton from trainspotting hope so
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RHP User
12 years ago
No wonder the world is a mess. Seems there's quite a few women and men out there who feel so threatened by the original man/woman relationship they lose their way. The need to keep or take control comes across that strong it's not funny... No one needs a controlling personality.. Think about it ?
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RHP User
12 years ago
For example... Personally, I wear pretty dresses but I can also feel comfortable in the "men's" weights room. In fact I can sometimes do more wide grip chin ups then some of them. I'm muscular but that doesn't define me. Who I am as a person defines me. I think the OP has an out dated view of true equality. It's not 1960. Adapt or become obsolete - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Chemical heart, you are looking in the wrong places. Truly, if you met me you would be surprised at how dainty and ladylike I am. Just because I have a strapon in my handbag doesn't change that. But yes, how very sad for you. Not sure what your self fore-filling prophecy is? I believe in equal rights for all and that everyone is an individual and unique in their own way, gone are the days where women had to pander to a man's ego. Lucky for me. But I think that is your real issue though, you want a woman too pander to you as the big strong man. But truly, that is something you have to feel within yourself without outside validation. Obviously comprehension is not one of your strong points since nothing you are attributing to him was actually said or implied. Here is something to ponder...one day a man was leaving a store and a women was following him out. He held the door open for her and was met with a tirade of abuse. He said " Madam, I did not hold the door open for you because you are a lady, but because I am a gentleman"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'ApolloThirteen' Nailed it Chemicalheart. I agree with you whole heartedly. I love being completely feminine and bring treated as such. That doesn't mean I'm not a strong, independent woman - but I pride myself in being the modern, graceful and elegant lady to which you refer. We're out there, but as you observed - fewer and further between each year. Well said. I thought I was the only one who understood what he meant.
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RHP User
12 years ago
...and I can play along. Joe Jackson
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SlipperyWetFun
12 years ago
You are my Hero / Heroine (funny that considering the subject matter in question. I am addicted to the way you express yourself and communicate your opinions. You rock fabulous lady. Now down to business. I'll be brief. I love strong women, especially female body builders, if they have bigger muscles than me..... Awesome, mental and emotional strength is just as awesome. Whether or not we realise it we are all role playing. It depends on the situation, past experience, behavioural inhibitors, response to various stimuli that cause us to be perceived the way we are. For instance, I like to switch which doesn't mean I am a feminine man at some stage for that to happen, it is a desire to have an experience where I want to be vulnerable. This poses the question, does vulnerability reflect the embodiment / experience of being feminine. My opinion is No. Anybody can be anything at any time. It is what it is. In simple terms, we seem to feel this silly compulsion to put a label on it and everything else in the world. I love women in any frame / state of being that they are. To assess, observe and then label that state takes away from your experience of her and enjoying the complex, fabulous being that she is. Be totally in the moment with her and there is no need to analyse. Now I think if confused myself, must be my feminine side coming out. ( Please laugh here or I'll have a big boo hoo) Cheers Pete. Meeka100 I still love tour work. X - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'ApolloThirteen' By referring to myself as strong and independent, I'm saying I'm emotionally and mentally strong, and I'm financially independent and capable of doing many things without assistance. My interpretation of what Chemicalheart was that he was saying was referring to the growing number of rough speaking, rough dressing, spitting, smoke hanging out of the mouth blokey looking females that grace society more each day. Those undesirable attributes you've interpreted from Chemicalheart apply to many of society's males as well. The gulf between men and women shrinking constantly until one day..in the far, far future..it is only our sex that divides us? Who knows. : ) At work and socially I come across more than a few females and males with those unattractive( to me, anyway )qualities, and it serves as an ocassional reminder to not let myself slide into the habits that don't attract meto a woman. It'd hardly be fair to have too many bad ticks in the mental checklist of attraction, myself. : )
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RHP User
12 years ago
Google "Scott Benson But I'm a Nice Guy" and watch the 40 second video. This is the creator's (a male) description of the video: "A quick editorial cartoon about the intersection of self-pity, entitlement, rape, territoriality, misogyny and fear of women. You see it all over the place online in the form of Men's Rights Activists (of whom there are a few reasonable non-misogynists), Men Going Their Own Way, Pick Up Artists, and dudes touting the "Red Pill", because The Matrix is a good movie. Look any of these up if you have the stomach for it. These are extreme examples, but watered-down forms of these ideas are everywhere. In lurking their blogs and youtube channels for a while, I've noticed that beyond the standard patriarchal chauvinism there is this deep fear of women - what they will do to me, how they will reject me, how they will use me, how they are changing society in a way that does not favor me, how they are making men into something I don't like, how they are making themselves into something I don't like, that they won't give me what I want, and that they won't give me what I think is rightfully mine. This goes beyond fear of feminism- this is fear of women at its purest. And that, to quote a puppet, leads to anger and hate. It's sad. I am a feminist. I think there's enough ice cream to go around, but it does mean those of us with 3 scoops might have to give one or two up. Also, The Matrix is a fun movie but probably not anything you should be basing a philosophy on."
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Warning69' I sure do mate I sure friggen doooo lol so u guys heading to meet n greet ? Love to say hi is all u seem overly witty lol Go look that up in your Funken Wagnel!!! Warning I was thinking of referencing a tube on you tube "aboriginal man says sorry" for the male femininity thing (care to it) It's called "riffi wit" Warning. Sometimes less is more other times riffi wit comes from dreamtime, you know stories if you don't know the big words, you have to say lots of little ones. We can't all think like Sigmund Freud, that's a gift. Something Schiller said "A man like me cannot live without a hobby-horse" passionately too. We sure hope to so far we are looking pretty good. (we said that)
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RHP User
12 years ago
"The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida... then come back with your questions... just a suggestion. SG
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Christiets' I think there are more sexy women in the world than rugged men anyday. I know because I have been both! Women are elegant, witty, respectful, sexy and intelligent. The difference is we are not subservient unless we choose to be so. Rugged men walk a fine line between arrogance and respect, if no respect is shown to an independent and resourceful woman the arrogance will breed contempt. Good manners are the basis for elegance and femininity. Respect follows. People can use good manners to suit themselves too, without respect. You know people who pretend to be nice and make it believable until the time you feel betrayed to it "hurt" Respect wraps it all up, is how I and Tara live and believe to respect, which means using it when called, if not it is disrespect to all who stand for it. Respect Christiets is me looking straight at you as equal as a person, and if any treat you less than the lady you are, then with and for respect alone, as manners may go out the window I would stand by you against any who should attempt to belittle you. I still believe many people don't understand respect. I could call you a fucking bitch, bad manners, not disrespect. You might be a bitch, I might just feel that you are. We might have a big arguement and say all sorts of lovely things in hate mood. Respectfully, I would and you would know and feel your self still that same equal person, Truths hurt manners can destroy people to, they (other people) may have different manners to a guide line of choice, respect has one rule in many languages. You can't trust manners alone. You will know when you have been respected by another person, It is all about you nothing else. Respectfully you are a person of yourself and that is all needs to be said Christiet, where did you come up with that name? if you don't mind us asking. Is it Ok to call you a lady, some women get a bit funny about it. Fair enough my lady (term) is for a woman that shows a bit of nous, gentle feminine, but could flog me if disrespected. Defined and proud for the privilege to be friends really. and it has nothing to do with trying to root you, that would come down to manners I suppose. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thank you SWF, that is always nice to hear. I am sure I am an acquired taste for some. :p
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting Gr8whiteUnicorn "So the interesting thing is that masculinity and femininity are socially constructed concepts. There is no behaviour that is "feminine" or "masculine", it's just what we as a society believe most females or most males do'.................... OP, a good lesson is learnt here. If you would use the terms "In my opinion/IMO", "In my experience/IME" and own the statements as your own, then you may only have half the backlash that you have received on this topic. I can appreciate, sort of, where you are coming from. You like a 'feminine' woman and a 'manly' man. I personally love the qualities of elegance and grace in a woman. Cultured. Eloquent. But not without "balls" when they are needed. I love a woman that can hold her own and does not need a 'man' for the task. I also ask you this. In Indonesia, the men are gentle, soft spoken, give soft handshakes. I lay witness to no machismo amongst them while there. They were truly humble and beautiful people. Are they not 'masculine'? By comparison, Aussie 'men' may seem ape-like barbarians compared to them. It's all relative in my mind. I think Gr8whiteUnicorn hit the nail on the head for me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mado, thank you for your comments and I get the gist of what you are saying, I don't totally agree with all the perspectives (calling someone a bitch is bad mannered as well as being disrespectful isn't it?) but nonetheless less I think the essence of being respectful requires the use of good manners. good manners incorporate the need to be respectful and vice versa. At least that's what I was taught, one without the other cheapens both. For instance, using good manner may get you the root, but the compliment afterwards gains you the respect! I think we are on the same page, just reading between the lines offers other interpretations! You ask about my name, well my nane is Christine, I am transsexual hence Christie-ts, I have lived as a female for the past 8 years, and believe me I know the value of respect and appreciate the use of good manners! Thank you again for asking. Christine
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RHP User
12 years ago
Now your making me hungry!
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RHP User
12 years ago
to Mr.Heart,he is looking for ''a good looking ,kind female who is humble or a little shy''...both of these traits are attractive in men as wel as women..... The feminist,not feminine movement was never about de-feminising women or emasculating men.....only a very insecure man would think so..
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RHP User
12 years ago
The world really started opening up to me in my 20's when I started dating an artist who's work centred around creating distorted dreamlike images of dismembered Barbie dolls against a backdrop of the beauty of nature. Her message was something is seriously wrong with this picture, and it's true. The juxtaposition of natural beauty and constructed social ideals of beauty, the visual objectification of women's bodies and associated violence due to that, and the symbolic destruction of this false ideal by a woman unshackling herself from social expectations of body image and gender roles. I posted this in another thread, but personally, I have a lot to thank feminism for. My role as a male in family and society have been opened up to options that wouldn't have been there in traditional gender roles. Feminism was responsible for that, and I will forever be grateful. Of all the points made above [in Peggy McIntosh's white privilege checklist- from the In Support of Men topic] until they are addressed and equality established, feminism's goal has not been realised. Until those goals are met globally, there is no rest to be had either. There is a slogan I like a lot. It read "A womans place is in the kitchen" which had then been corrected with graffiti to "A woman's place is in the revolution!". As a man, I wont be standing behind you, Ill be up front leading the charge as well. Its my duty to my daughter, as well as all women.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Further to my post from yesterday, this is part of a response written by Scott Benson to the comments he received about his video. Read if you're interested (keep in mind he is American hence the American references). "It’s an unfortunate fact that the MRM’s loudest faction ARE extremely antagonistic toward women and dismissive of the real, long-standing institutional chauvinism and misogyny you see in everything from the Bible that enshrined women as virginal property / temptress whores to the Constitution which did not extend to them the right to vote. We’re still sorting that shit out. Men have certainly suffered in this too, albeit disproportionately. Men are drafted because women are seen as weak and motherly, incapable of such rough treatment. Go watch Newt Gingrich in the 90s talking about how women can’t fight because they get their “monthly infection” and that would make trench warfare (which of course we see a lot of these days) difficult. That is utter patriarchal “gotta protect them frail ladies” bullshit that has a very real effect on men as well. Notice how men are portrayed in commercials as hapless morons when it comes to all things domestic. Do you know why this is? Because they are supposed to contrast with the woman, who is totes meant for housework and kids. They are marketing to women by putting a girl-power spin on a woman’s “place”. Men are just caught in the crossfire. And most of these commercials are made by men, because like most industries, it was/is totally a boys club. I work in design and occasionally with agencies. The higher up the chain you go to the older members of the team, the more of a boys club it gets. Funny, that. It’s almost like women are still only getting a foothold in a lot of societal niches that men take for granted. But they get that one scoop of ice cream from the endless ice cream pump and all some men can see is that there is one less scoop for them. And until someone comes up with something better, Feminism is the only game in town really fighting the fight to figure this shit out. If MRA want to take up that mantle, they had best start weeding out the trolls and misogynists before they ask anyone to take them seriously. Because they’ve got more of the latter than the former. I’m all for addressing issues that men face. I am a man, of course. But blaming women and feminism for this shit is just as disingenuous as white people blaming the civil rights movement for removing their special water fountains, whites only housing and- gasp!- attempting to address the institutional inequality in hiring and college admissions. Won’t someone think of the poor white folk? I would argue that this video DOES address men’s issues. Men are hurting themselves with this reactionary, angry, fearful shit. Let’s start with that, maybe, and work up to the portrayal of dudes in cleaning product commercials. This video isn’t a hit on “all men”. Most of us aren’t like this! It’s not hate-speech or anything- it’s satire and critique. It’s about a complicated bunch of emotions that pervade a lot of the “manosphere”. These issues of entitlement, of desire, territoriality, transactional relationships, and under all of that, fear - fear that women won’t like you for who you are and so you must learn how to play mind games to get sex because that’s all that matters anyway because 99% of women only like rich hot assholes, amirite? Fear that you will marry a woman and then she will leave you and stick you with alimony payments and take your house. Fear that women are part of a socialist system in which men are expendable drones producing wealth and stability that is taken from them and redistributed among women. Fear that the schools and culture have been “feminized” in such a way that men are being specifically weeded out, and that the recent increase in women in the workforce and in CEO positions is just evidence of their evil plot to TAKE YOUR ICE CREAM. And fear of “western women” (those women from the exotic “Far East” certainly know their place, bro), and how these terrible college-educated radicalized harpies are only there to use and dominate you. It’s fear. It’s fear of feminism, but most of everything I just listed goes beyond that- it’s fear of women. Witness the “nice guys” who feel cheated that a girl they were nice to isn’t responding in kind with sex. Witness the gamers who talk about how women laughed at them in high school and so fuck them, dude, they just like the jocks. Witness the guys who are angry that the woman at the office “just can’t take a joke”. This is all fear, fear of rejection, fear of losing the place in society one thinks men are entitled to, fear of the chaos that having a woman around might cause. Not every viewer is going to see themselves in it. And certainly people are complicated and even dumb ideas are just as complicated. But I think a lot of people (including myself earlier in my life), might see a little bit of themselves in it. Or at least that’s the hope, and the responses I’ve been getting overwhelmingly affirm this."
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RHP User
12 years ago
Interesting LD, I hadn't thought of the men being scared of women before, to me it's more like bitterness and a total lack of understanding and empathy for others in particular women. I shall read certain posters comments with this in mind from now on. Thanks. I would like to add that the new fashion of men wearing ankle freezers is very effeminate to me, but I am sure this is purely a generational thing. :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes it is interesting, and not something I had really thought of either. But, it does make sense. Many of our negative emotions - such as anger, bitterness, jealousy, resentment - are often just the expression of the root cause, which is fear.
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RHP User
12 years ago
That's a great break down of what is behind the resistance to change. Talking about feelings experienced is always going to be more effective than talking about labels and using heavily loaded political terms. What are your thoughts on how to conquer this fear of women that men have?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I would like to add that the new fashion of men wearing ankle freezers is very effeminate to me, but I am sure this is purely a generational thing. :) People are wearing ice packs strapped to their ankles???
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is this a looks thing? Or the way a person carries themselves? If its a looks thing then yes, I agree, I tend to go for the more classic feminine "look" where there is zero doubt that the person you're talking to is indeed a woman. But I don't see how that can be a result of the feminist movement. If its a personality thing- then hell no, I want a woman who is strong, independent, confident and all those other wonderful things. I want a woman to be my partner, not someone I need to babysit.
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RHP User
12 years ago
So Finding Nero, what your really looking for is a trophy piece on your arm you can show off? Women, like men, come in all shapes and sizes, in all types of personality. We all have our ideal mate but few if any get everything that is on our wish list! You don't want someone you need to babysit? Wow, that puts the rest of the female population in its place!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1'The world really started opening up to me in my 20's when I started dating an artist who's work centred around creating distorted dreamlike images of dismembered Barbie dolls against a backdrop of the beauty of nature. Her message was something is seriously wrong with this picture, and it's true. Love that!
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RHP User
12 years ago
The new fashion wear men are wearing pants that finish above their ankles. I no like!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' That's a great break down of what is behind the resistance to change. Talking about feelings experienced is always going to be more effective than talking about labels and using heavily loaded political terms. What are your thoughts on how to conquer this fear of women that men have? I wish I knew Unrushed!! I think to a certain extent it will happen as a gradual change through generations thing, you can already see this now as the younger generations grow up more used to seeing both men and women moving outside their 'traditional' gender roles. But having said that, some of the biggest misogynists are teen and twenty-something males on the internet. They send rape and death threats to any woman on the internet that they disagree with, or consider is stepping outside of her 'place'. It's a particular problem in communities like gamers which have traditionally been male-dominated. Frankly I'm not sure how you deal with shit like that, it's so complicated.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maybe you didn't quite get my meaning and maybe I didn't quite explain myself properly. The babysitting comment was in reference to my liking for strong independent women who can look after themselves and don't "need" a man in their life for them to have an identity of their own. Regarding wanting a trophy- absolutely not, the last thing I want from a woman is for her to be a show piece with no or very little substance and personality.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Men prefer feminine women, as women prefer masculine men. This is the cosmic law of sexual polarity that by its mere immutable existence will always make mockery of the various stripes of gender equalists and their self-serving beliefs.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Chemicalheart' Men prefer feminine women, as women prefer masculine men. This is the cosmic law of sexual polarity that by its mere immutable existence will always make mockery of the various stripes of gender equalists and their self-serving beliefs. Still falls within the answer being 42 never the less. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Chemicalheart' Men prefer feminine women, as women prefer masculine men. This is the cosmic law of sexual polarity that by its mere immutable existence will always make mockery of the various stripes of gender equalists and their self-serving beliefs. What does being feminine or masculine have to do with gender equality? Nothing that's what. Your point makes no sense.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' The new fashion wear men are wearing pants that finish above their ankles. I no like!! Next will be sock suspenders and bracer's... all I can think of now is Arnold J Rimmer... Lister: You could never get a date because you let your mum buy all your casual clothes. Rimmer: There is nothing wrong with my casual clothes. Lister: Oh, come on, Rimmer, your trousers were so short when you crossed your legs, you could see your knees.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting chemicalheart: "Men prefer feminine women, as women prefer masculine men. This is the cosmic law of sexual polarity that by its mere immutable existence will always make mockery of the various stripes of gender equalists and their self-serving beliefs." That's true, apart from the masculine women who like feminine women, and the masculine men who like feminine men, and the feminine men who like masculine women, and the feminine women who like feminine women, and the masculine men that like masculine men, and the masculine men who like masculine women, and the feminine women who like feminine men. Include transgender diversity and the fact that masculine and feminine are arbitrary terms anyway, and your cosmic laws kind of, well, start getting watered down a bit.... You can have your opinions, of course, as long as you acknowledge you are only speaking for yourself and other like minded people. Truth is my friend, life's like a rainbow, unless you see only black and white.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Middle of winter it was, Cowan waters and full moon midnight, straight over the top of us the moon. In the black and white of the night, A full rainbow appeared right in front of us. Moonbow we called it. Only ever seen it once. Never would have thought it, to begin with. It was what it was though. Colours to a moonbow are spectacular in the black and white. True story. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' Quoting chemicalheart: "Men prefer feminine women, as women prefer masculine men. This is the cosmic law of sexual polarity that by its mere immutable existence will always make mockery of the various stripes of gender equalists and their self-serving beliefs." That's true, apart from the masculine women who like feminine women, and the masculine men who like feminine men, and the feminine men who like masculine women, and the feminine women who like feminine women, and the masculine men that like masculine men, and the masculine men who like masculine women, and the feminine women who like feminine men. Include transgender diversity and the fact that masculine and feminine are arbitrary terms anyway, and your cosmic laws kind of, well, start getting watered down a bit.... You can have your opinions, of course, as long as you acknowledge you are only speaking for yourself and other like minded people. Truth is my friend, life's like a rainbow, unless you see only black and white.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thank you all for the feedback, I guess there will always be a difference in opinion among people of different demographics. I believe there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to the individual perception and interpretation of the world around us. It can often come down to what we perceive to be our reality "the eye of the beholder". The truth is I love all people equally male and female. When you look at the grand design of the human species. (and of course there will be small percentages of people through reasons unknown repudiate of the naturally programmed traits, like homosexuals & genetic predominate females) however most humans regardless of conditioning either from society or childhood upbringing have deeply ingrained natural behaviours. These can be identified as values and emotions such as Love, Compassion, Fear, sexual desires. Then further split into gender separate male and female biology and chemistry. Now take the behaviour that is most common overall to find the untainted natural human behaviour. This is the natural instinctive behaviour separate from individual personality or preference. It is THIS BEHAVIOUR I point out that is being altered by current trends. It's also vulnerable to laws of "the butterfly effect" or chaos theory. It really has nothing to do with social beliefs, culture or the free will to choose your ideal mate regardless of sex. I just wanted to see how many people were actually aware that this is going on, not debate about weather it exists. much love,
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1'You can have your opinions, of course, as long as you acknowledge you are only speaking for yourself and other like minded people. Truth is my friend, life's like a rainbow, unless you see only black and white. People who continuously say they're "Saying it how it is" instead of how they perceive "it" to be, are so closed off to other opinions they are missing out on so many positive things. . I feel sad for them for not being able to see rainbows. My dad used to be one of them, until a major life event hit him hard. He will tell you how much better life is in colour.
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