F65
For what reasons did you get married?
June 01 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story I married when I was quite young 21 simply because I loved him and I know he loved me and I wanted my future to be him. He died a year later Since then although I would like to marry again I've yet to meet another who has taken my breath away. If I did though and marriage was on the cards, I would marry for many reasons but the over riding one being that I just want to build a life worth living, with him, simply be with him and face it all together. Perhaps it only happens once
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Hottie1
12 years ago
Hi OP, you have us thinking. Sukki, you deserved that love the first time and deserve to find love to share again :). I have been married to my man for over 22 years. He took my breath away then and still does now. There was a time the sex was great but needed some spicing up. I suggested I would like a threesome and he arranged it for my birthday. I love him because he is sexy, open minded, generous, considerate and above all a damn good person. He was the quintessential Aussie boy and I the sheltered Greek girl. We were opposites and destined to be doomed. Yet here we are!I learnt all about love and sex from him and I continue to learn new things through our experiences with RHP. Absolutely no regrets. M xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I didn't want to get married and I felt I couldn't get out of it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My ex because I was deeply,madly in love with him,but I left because I realized that he had never felt the same way about me xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
We had both been out with enough people to know what we wanted....... We met, fell in love, he moved in with me 2 weeks after meeting, proposed 3 months after and then we married 3 months later.... We just celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary, although due to reasons you mentioned OP about the lack of sex etc, we nearly didn't make it..... Most in the forums know, we are thankful for the swinging lifestyle, we know it saved our marriage.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We meet in Uni and feel in love. It was the case of same but different since we worked in the same profession and had a common circle of friends but she came from an Asian family and mine was Irish Australian. We got married at 26, had a fantastic 10 years, she gave birth to our daughter at 36, was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 months later and died at 39. It took me years with the help of some fabulous friends to believe I could/should get out there again. It is a bit OT but my situation is a bit like Sukki's and it annoys me that society (not just RHP) puts young adults in single/married/divorced categories but ignores the status of widows & widowers, as if we just go back into the pool of singles and the death of our spouse becomes a wipe of our marriage. For a long time after my wife died, I filled out forms as "married" but that would then lead to awkward questions about where my wife was.
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Passion drives me whether it be in my work, sports art or relationships. I married because of love, so I thought i did. I nearly walked out on my wedding day because I had doubts, I was working and living in Canada in the middle of winter, no family around and almost everybody in our guestlist only spoke French. I felt alone but I thought it was just nerves. I bit the bullet and stuck it out and remained loyal and worked on my marriage for a while until broke up a 6 years ago. Despite the separation and divorce I was blessed with 2 great boys, my silver lining. Still counting all the other blessings in this world. Including meeting such lovely people in RHP.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your last paragraph was the epilogue to my story and I totally get you and know where your at. But as you know, life goes on, its just a different life and not the one that we planned on but it does go on. My thoughts are with you Simple Thank to the lovely posters that wrote such comforting words to me
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'SimpleNeeds2' We meet in Uni and feel in love. It was the case of same but different since we worked in the same profession and had a common circle of friends but she came from an Asian family and mine was Irish Australian. We got married at 26, had a fantastic 10 years, she gave birth to our daughter at 36, was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 months later and died at 39. It took me years with the help of some fabulous friends to believe I could/should get out there again. It is a bit OT but my situation is a bit like Sukki's and it annoys me that society (not just RHP) puts young adults in single/married/divorced categories but ignores the status of widows & widowers, as if we just go back into the pool of singles and the death of our spouse becomes a wipe of our marriage. For a long time after my wife died, I filled out forms as "married" but that would then lead to awkward questions about where my wife was. I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing and I feel your pain. But you are here now and there are a lot of great women (and not so great ones too, nature has its way to balance everything_) that would fill in the void you felt for a while. I wish you well and warm thoughts your way. Enjoy your stay in GC.
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MissBishere
12 years ago
All the wrong reasons - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
was the main reason but I could have loved my partner without marriage. Society was a pain in the arse having a different surname to my children so after 2 of them, we got married. Even though we loved each other we never really felt the need to have the piece of paper to prove it and although it was nice to be married it was practical. Things were much easier taking the kids to the doctors and schooling having the same surname. I never regretted getting married but I was not the one who ended it, and I still keep his name now only because of my kids.
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RHP User
12 years ago
And other things. I actually grew up thinking I was not worthy of the great love that only a husband could give me. So when I met this man who loved me totally and unconditionally, I snapped him up. He worshipped me until the day he died, despite the fact I gave him a hard time. He once told me I would never appreciate him until he was gone, he was so right.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thank you for sharing such touching stories.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Upon reflection, after having many the conversation with people here; is I got married because I thought I was going to lose her. I loved that woman with all that I was, so I decided to keep her. But one misunderstanding after another would lead to a severing of ties from her, and I panicked. So; to appease her; I asked her to marry me. However.... I had invested way more into that than she did, and it may suggest she had manipulated me into it, and it's probably not too far from the truth; but I can't prove that....only she can...but let's face it....noone's ever going to stand up and admit that they purposefully manipulated a situation for their own benefit are they?? All it does prove however, was I had hold of my dick tighter than squid on it's prey. But....two lessons for me was learnt. 1. Never accept anything less than I deserve. 2. I discovered the difference between pink and purple. And for those who haven't discovered that difference - it's the grip. :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'dacougarbitch' And other things. I actually grew up thinking I was not worthy of the great love that only a husband could give me. So when I met this man who loved me totally and unconditionally, I snapped him up. He worshipped me until the day he died, despite the fact I gave him a hard time. He once told me I would never appreciate him until he was gone, he was so right. Awww. He saw the beauty in you that you didnt realize you had. To be loved totally and unconditionally is beautiful. Not sure I had that. Thanks for sharing.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Always wanted to be married prior to having children,having kids in defacto like most are doing I walways wanted to be different and to be honest having a ring on your finger,wasnt just about the paper but being proud similar to when you look at your lovers eyes or even when you look at your child.Unfortunately it had to end due to spouses family involvement and it not working out as a family,jus her and I but her family,her and me that's what made it crumble,Next one? well haven't decided on marriage but next time IF,will just be her and I :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Find the prettiest girl, then get married. At the time I didn't believe in love or that I was capable of loving. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi All, Some lovely reading here... Thank you. I married my first wife at 18 because she was pregnant. We then quickly had 3 children under the age of 3... Shit... Anyway, she finally began playing up (with my best mate and many others) and then left me and the kids. I brought them up myself. Never see her or talk to her. Then I met my second wife not long after she went. From the moment we laid eyes on each other, we shared a joy and wonder that I just can't describe.... Some of us are lucky enough to experience the love and passion and complete 'becoming of one' with and for only each other. I am so very thankful that I had the 10 years that I had with such a beautiful and loving person. I cared for her for 18 months after she was diagnosed with cancer and made sure she died in my arms, at home, where she wanted to be. In her last breath, she said "Thank you" and told me she loved me forever, then quietly went away from me. I thought for the 10 years that it took, before I could bring myself to date anyone else, that I was so unfortunate and so hurt and in a pain that can't be described to anyone who hasn't been through it. But now I DO KNOW that it is better to have loved and lost, than to have missed what I was so lucky to have, even if for only a short time. I'm lucky that my capacity to love romantically increases as I grow, otherwise I'd have to believe that I can never be that happy again. Thanks
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SimpleNeeds2'We meet in Uni and feel in love. It was the case of same but different since we worked in the same profession and had a common circle of friends but she came from an Asian family and mine was Irish Australian. We got married at 26, had a fantastic 10 years, she gave birth to our daughter at 36, was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 months later and died at 39. It took me years with the help of some fabulous friends to believe I could/should get out there again. It is a bit OT but my situation is a bit like Sukki's and it annoys me that society (not just RHP) puts young adults in single/married/divorced categories but ignores the status of widows & widowers, as if we just go back into the pool of singles and the death of our spouse becomes a wipe of our marriage. For a long time after my wife died, I filled out forms as "married" but that would then lead to awkward questions about where my wife was. Hi SimpleNeeds.. I know what you mean about 'widower' business. I filled in married for years after, so as not to feel different, or be treated differently by other people. As soon as you say 'widower' (I was almost 38 when my wife died) people say "SORRY"... I got sick of it and having to tell people why I was widowed at 38... I've had a couple of relationships since then, a few only for some months, one for 18 months and one for 5 years. I spent the first 10 years as a recluse. I just had no inclination to date or even have sex... She was gone and I felt that I could never be happy again. But I have been and I can be. I stated in my earlier post that I married for "Good and Bad" reasons. The first because of pregnancy and the second for LOVE... The difference between both relationships are like two different Poles. Nothing can be compared to 'true, honest, untainted, passionate and mutually shared LOVE". Nothing goes near it, regardless of sex. I have, in fact had better and more complete (physically and emotionally) sex in the 5 year relationship since... But the relationship did not approach the happiness and joy I shared with my wife.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I haven't been married, but I was engaged once, to my first boyfriend (it's still the longest relationship I've had at 9 years). Luckily I realised not long after we got engaged that I had pushed for it for all the wrong reasons (the safety, security, fear of being alone etc.). I did still love him but not in the way I had at first, plus I wasn't physically attracted to him anymore, and if we had got married I have no doubt that I would have cheated and basically it would have ended up a disaster. Although I still feel bad for the pain and other shit I put him through both during and after our break up, I feel better now knowing that he had / has a chance to find someone who will love him properly, because he is a great guy (we don't keep in touch so I have no idea if he's with someone or not). As to whether I'll ever get married, who knows. I'm not actively against it, but I'm not really keen on the idea either. And given what I've discovered about myself in the last couple years, I don't think a monogamous marriage / relationship would satisfy me in the long run.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We were in love and still are. Love being married and wouldn't change a thing. Bring on the next 27 years. Our hearts go out to all that have been in bad marriages or have lost their partners. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is that because of your physical needs or not finding any hapiness to be for one.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'jelly2352' We were in love and still are. Love being married and wouldn't change a thing. Bring on the next 27 years. Our hearts go out to all that have been in bad marriages or have lost their partners. - Posted from rhpmobile Thank you Jelly... A very nice thought and gracious of you to say... I have no doubt, whatsoever, that my wife and I would be still together and happier than ever, had she not passed. It would have been 27 years last March (and she was my 2nd wife whom I fell in love with in 1987 and lost in 1996).
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RHP User
12 years ago
I got married for the first time when I was 19 and I was head over heels in love. He died 2 years later in a car accident when I was pregnant with my son. That gorgeous baby boy is now an amazing 21 year old man. I met my second husband 5 years later. He is a good man and and a great father. We were together for 16 years but if you don't nurture and build on your relationship it eventually withers and dies. I decided I needed more out of life so I left.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think it's hopeful to believe that there is the perfect person waiting to find us,or us them,it is also ludicrous to believe that will happen for everyone....it clearly is not the case....but it also does not mean that as a single person life can't have richness and meaning...we all have different paths to follow,for some of us,whether it's our choice or not,we will remain single xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Openly1' Hi All, Some lovely reading here... Thank you. I married my first wife at 18 because she was pregnant. We then quickly had 3 children under the age of 3... Shit... Anyway, she finally began playing up (with my best mate and many others) and then left me and the kids. I brought them up myself. Never see her or talk to her. Then I met my second wife not long after she went. From the moment we laid eyes on each other, we shared a joy and wonder that I just can't describe.... Some of us are lucky enough to experience the love and passion and complete 'becoming of one' with and for only each other. I am so very thankful that I had the 10 years that I had with such a beautiful and loving person. I cared for her for 18 months after she was diagnosed with cancer and made sure she died in my arms, at home, where she wanted to be. In her last breath, she said "Thank you" and told me she loved me forever, then quietly went away from me. I thought for the 10 years that it took, before I could bring myself to date anyone else, that I was so unfortunate and so hurt and in a pain that can't be described to anyone who hasn't been through it. But now I DO KNOW that it is better to have loved and lost, than to have missed what I was so lucky to have, even if for only a short time. I'm lucky that my capacity to love romantically increases as I grow, otherwise I'd have to believe that I can never be that happy again. Thanks I have tears in my eyes after reading your story.And, yes it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all - for sure.
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RHP User
12 years ago
For those who have lost their loves so tragically and yet I feel joy, that you experienced and remember those beautiful years so fondly. May you find what you are seeking, be it friendship, companions, or any other version..... Thank you so much for being so honest, open and forthcoming.
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Seachange73
12 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta2' I think it's hopeful to believe that there is the perfect person waiting to find us,or us them,it is also ludicrous to believe that will happen for everyone....it clearly is not the case....but it also does not mean that as a single person life can't have richness and meaning...we all have different paths to follow,for some of us,whether it's our choice or not,we will remain single xx Q Wise words and so true. Upon leaving my husband to find my path to happiness, I had to accept that I may be alone in my search or might cross path with somebody wonderful who will traverse the road i have chosen with, all the way or part of the way. I seek to be happy and accept the experience for what it is and what it is worth. and perhaps experience the beauty in the experiences with or without a 'significant' other.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I appreciate the support. I feel a great solidarity with the others here who suffered the loss of a loved one. I am struck by how much I can identify with your feelings. Thanks especially Openly1 because our paths are near identical. And L4Q, remind me to buy you a drink on Saturday. I agree with Openly1, that you tend to look back on it as not so much missing out on a future but cherishing what you had. They will always be young and beautiful in our eyes. You learn to start living again after the first year and you learn to value life and the time to enjoy it that much more. You never find the same woman but I am finding different can be just as interesting. Not looking to marry again at the moment as I am having too much fun.
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
I have got to say love what you wrote - very endearing n so nice to read... Mr Cheeky n I will be married 20yrs this October n have been together for almost 25yrs... This man is my guardian angel - he is my rock, best friend and was the first person who truly believed in me... He continues to encourage n inspires me with his incredible mind... Now, we have had lots of rough patches, but he is the only person I want to sleep next too every night n wake up to each morning, whether he or I have been shagging other ppl or we share our bed with others, it's he I want to be with!! Our sexual lifestyle on rhp n other sex sites have ignited our appetite to explore and enjoy other aspects of our life together... If more marriages were more open to sex sites there may be less separations xxx
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