M52 F33
Full swapping the answer?
August 10 2019
Comments
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SpicyKale
6 years ago
There's a lot of us around that would be up for soft swapping if it's communicated early and well. The two of us at least find kissing and oral a really erotic experience. Throw some massaging into the equation and we'd be on cloud nine. If it's what you're looking for, maybe update what you're looking for in the description part of your profile. We can see that you've ticked the boxes in the interests section, but it really doesn't jump out at you if it's not written down. If you really enjoy the voyeuristic side of things, maybe try a club. OSS in Sydney is awesome for newbies and a great atmosphere to boot. Go along and chat to people, we think you'll be surprised with the responses. Just be upfront about what you're looking for! When you're chatting with people, they'll generally ask about what you're interested in anyway. Good luck 😊
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RHP User
6 years ago
Thanks for your feedback. Don’t let this profile speak for us as we use it communicate through forums. We have another profile that defines us. We’ve done this for two years with clear cut descriptions of how we like to play and look for. We do this respectfully and it’s difficult to find. In theory simple but definitely not in reality. Thanks for your feedback again
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SpicyKale
6 years ago
Not a problem 😊 We've definitely come across couples with the same interests as you guys. Maybe same room, own partner play in a club? From what we've seen quite a few do it. There's got to be people out there for you. Keeping things at soft swap would keep the pressure off the guys needing to "perform", that surely has to be an option for some...
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RHP User
6 years ago
We're not interested in soft swaps, we've gone that extra mile and done the full swap in the past and with the time effort and organisations that goes into planning a meet we feel we may as well go for the full experience. We also find that what couples define as a soft swap varies from couple to couple greatly! Some see it as same room same partner and nothing more, others will allow oral sex. Very few profiles will specify what their actual limits are. For that reason and the fact most other profiles are after the full swap as well we don't really pay that much attention to soft swap couples.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Thanks for the positive vibes 😊
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Sawadee
6 years ago
I hear you ? In the few experiences we've had ' our attitude is pretty much the same as yours. We figure doing things in halves will only leave you wondering what might of been. Mind you ' like most couples we're selective and if the feels not right' we pass.? Still ' l get the soft swap thing and why some couples prefer it that way .. My thoughts are if you do soft swap and it feels right you can always change your mind . Coasties.. follow your gut and pursue what you feel comfortable with. I dont believe in taking one for the team for the sake of it. Good luck with whatever you choose and enjoy..
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RHP User
6 years ago
Although I'm not part of a couple, I agree being specific in the profile is the way to go, just simply saying you're on a journey, fairly new to swinging and this is what we're looking for at this point in time. Great comment
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RHP User
6 years ago
Spicykale. It’s not referring to our profile. Regardless of what the profile says the question was based around the debate between soft and full. We have a profile that specifies exactly what we want and it still leads to issues and hard to find matches. Read the question before you answer please
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DynamicCouple36
6 years ago
There is more to sex than penetration We prefer the lead up. The flirting, the ambience, the seduction. Our ideal evening is in a sumptuous location with like minded “others” where we can enjoy one another’s company over a glass of bubblies and build on the excitement by flirting & seducing. We enjoy the visuals, the caressing, touching, kissing, teasing licking - these are all very important aspects of foreplay and one can enjoy all of this without full swapping (penetrative sex) , and then simply culminate by having ones orgasm with ones own partner. There is nothing wrong that you only want this. Full swap (for penetration) is not the be all and end all.
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FeistyFatty
6 years ago
Coasties..... 🤦♀️🤷♀️ No reason at all to respond to SpicyKale like that. What she said is 100 percent spot on. I'll be a tad more blunt. You'll find being soft swappers a hard sell, its boring to most swinging couples. So to not waste their time.... and yours..... your profiles (u stated there's more than one) should be exceedingly specific with how far you're willing to go and EXACTLY how you pair like to play. Simples. You asked for feedback on a public forum.... that's what you're getting.
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FeistyFatty
6 years ago
And having 2 different profiles; one that "defines us" and one thats "for the forums".... 🤷♀️🤷♀️
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SpicyKale
6 years ago
In all fairness, I don't think anyone was having a go at us. I'm guessing a typo!
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RHP User
6 years ago
I was going to post a similar comment but thought I'd zip it for a change 😁 But agree with everything you said
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Playful2looking
6 years ago
Great advice here which is what forums are about.. soft swapping is usually a lead into the life style how you want to play is up to your comfort zone. if you want to watch girls play and do soft swap only you may be disappointed in the amount of play time you get. as not all women are bisexual... some women may want to watch two men kiss and cuddle and not even touch each other. Woman to woman action can be very much a male fantasy... Reflect on why you want to be a swinger and set your boundaries and search out similar couples to play with. good luck and enjoy
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RHP User
6 years ago
Judging by that reply to SpicyKale, I suspect there are other issues at hand here
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SpicyKale
6 years ago
We were going for glass half full and giving the benefit of the doubt 😊We're guessing the replies cover the broad spectrum of the lifestyle and everyone's experiences...
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DynamicCouple36
6 years ago
Is one allowed to have 2 profiles on here ? What would the point of that be ? Would simply confuse things.
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SpicyKale
6 years ago
Bisexualcouple85 Not meaning to take this off topic, but we think you're onto something there😉
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SpicyKale
6 years ago
Oh... and while soft swap might be seen as an intro to the lifestyle, it's definitely a legitimate way to play. We were just trying to give the OP and others in the same boat options to ponder 🤔 DC probably summed it up quite well?
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MsJonesy
6 years ago
What your definition of soft swap is Coasties. Do you swap partners for anything? Or are you more interested in same room, soft soft swap - which to me means a little bit of physical interaction between the 2 pairs, such as some kissing and caressing, but not much else? Are you really only wanting voyeuristic opportunities offered through same room play with partner only? If voyeurism is your thing, then you will find it difficult to find like minded couples. It is perfectly fine to set your boundaries, no one should tell you otherwise. But be prepared for the reality that the narrower your boundaries, the less likely it is that you find what you seek. Couples often start with quite strong boundaries, which loosen as they become more comfortable. So it is not likely you will find couples who usually play with full swap being happy with your more restrictive rules of engagement.
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RHP User
6 years ago
What’s the point? ...of same room sex? Or girls play guys watch? We could as well stay at home and have sex in comfort and intimacy of our own place if all it’s going to be us having sex next to another couple. As for girls kissing etc... When we get invited to mainstream clubs or bars, mrs gets kissed or touched by another girl almost on every occasion, we are not going to go to a swingers club for this kind of soft stuff. Yes we like intimacy and we prefer to take our time with other couples but if it comes to it that we agree to meet for fun, no one will be on short leash. The whole idea of swinging is to swap partners. Yes, there will be some who prefer to do things differently -we are certainly not a regular swinger couple- we prefer to socialize with people we like then get intimate in time, instead of meeting for play straight away, but still, in the end we look at swapping partners.
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RHP User
6 years ago
SpicyKale I apologise that was not meant for you. What you said was great and same with everyone. It was just some other ladies to talk blunt and not really called for. I’ve noticed it happens a lot in forums. We have a reason for having a second profile and it’s only temp. As regards to the profile whether it’s said in the profile or discussed in messages it’s what talked about after we open communications with others. I appreciate the feedback from all even the ones pretty much dissing the soft option. We have our reasons getting into this lifestyle and we feel how we play can be exciting for some but not all
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SpicyKale
6 years ago
All good Coasties, we assumed so 😊 We're guessing you already know your pool of playmates is smaller. We were trying to throw a few options into the mix you might not have thought of. As another thought, maybe try a newbie night at OSS. As others have mentioned, you might have more luck with those just dipping their toes in🤔
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RHP User
6 years ago
This was intended to be a healthy debate and mostly it is. What I never did was diss on full swapping. I find it exciting but not for us. What I’ve seen just previously is people ranking on the soft approach. Directed at the previous couple and a lady earlier, if you find it boring and what’s the point then I guess your knowledge, experience and CV in the art of sexual exploitation and experiments is narrow minded and limited. To think you could only experience this lifestyle if you had intercourse with others just proves that theory. I never once ranked on full but will gladly defend my thoughts, outlook on what this lifestyle could bring, and defend others that feel the same. I’m a sucker for debate, both healthy and the other 😂😊
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RHP User
6 years ago
Thanks SpicyKale for the advice. We’ve been to OSS on several occasions with a mixed bag of results. We do realise our play options limits us and we get it. We know it’s very hard.
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Samnite
6 years ago
The way you both want to play as a couple is upto you to decide. This lifestyle is, after all, all about having fun in one way or another. Provided everyone is respectful towards each other and accepting of limits then soft swapping his a perfectly acceptable choice. My advice is to understand exactly what you want and be specific in communicating that to others. At the same time do not become upset if either of you pushes the boundaries and breaks the limits you have placed on each other. Quite frankly, as new people to the lifestyle, I'm suspect there may be some insecurities, trepidations, confusion, jealousy, guilt, etc under the surface that has led to your decision for soft swapping.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Wow i had never thought of Soft Swapping before as i possible intro towards eventual full on Swinging involving partner swaps and sex. We went to a Swingers club Meet-n-Greet night some time ago and it was awkward for both of us, and this was just a social night at a bar in town, we never went back nor took part in any of their actual house parties based on that one night, and deciding that swapping was one thing but doing it in a big group environment was just not we really wanted. I think it may be nice to meet up with another likable couple who we both have chemistry with (M/F & M/F) and end up together as a 4-some in a nice room somewhere, and just spend the night playing softly, including partner swapping just for Oral, and having sex with our own partner only. I would assume that this could then be the launch pad for something more should each couple feel right about it happening. I understand that some may think that this may be boring, i have already seen evidence of this already in this Topic, but full on swapping straight off the bat with just one couple or in a group environment may not be for everyone, but i can see how soft swapping as i described could be a lot of fun and be more enjoyable.
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Up4HankyPanky
6 years ago
We are relatively new to this scene and we are facing the same issues. We are only up for soft swap until we feel comfortable to take the next step. We want to be with experienced people who will challenge us and push our boundaries. If we are not challenged then we won't progress. Unfortunately it's almost impossible to find experienced couples who are willing to take a backwards step. Couples that have the patience to help us through to the next phase. It's an awkward spot to be in and we are almost at the point of giving up.
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RHP User
6 years ago
As newbies to partner swapping (have not done it yet) i personally would prefer to engage with a newbie couple and take the journey with them, as i would think that taking on an experienced couple would make us feel uncomfortable and that we may feel like we need to step up fairly quickly, and i would think that experienced swap couples would be more into hard swapping, not soft. Just both couples in the same bed, partner swapping for Oral fun, followed by Sex with our own partners would be a turn on for me i know that, and if that went well then maybe the possibility of partner swapping for sex, starting with 4 in a bed, and then swapping for sex in separate beds in a different room. Anyway, just my feelings on that.
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FredAndGinger2
6 years ago
I suppose after 4 years we are definitely in the "experienced swingers" category but that doesn't mean we seek group sex or even full swap every time. We really enjoy meeting newbies and the slow build up with the learning and anticipation. For fear of sounding like the Pina Colada song, we enjoy drinking champagne and taking walks in the rain and other fun and romantic experiences. Closeness, friendship and intimacy doesn't require penetrative sex.
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RHP User
6 years ago
We have each other for sex. 4 people can do so much more
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just4fun48
6 years ago
We have tried full swap but decided soft swap was the way to go for Is at this point of time. we do oral but no kissing. as we are both bi we find it’s hot both working on the other couple together. We find it hot. Each to their own.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I thought I would go slowly and try soft play but on Saturday night my first experience with a couple I went all the way and loved it Was so natural and they seduced my mind and body It all depends on the people you are with I am thinking
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