M50
Give me a hint!
June 23 2017
Comments
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Sawadee
8 years ago
If your not sure , you could always try putting 1 finger on her boob.. If she smacks you in the mouth , at least you know her signals didn't mean what you first thought.. ? 😞
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RHP User
8 years ago
Up until we joined RHP, I didn't flirt with people because I was happily married (and still am) and now happily boyfriended as well lol 😂 I found flirting really difficult when we first started on then Pie because it had been years since I'd attracted hubbies attention, the last guy I flirted with :) Then I was (who am I kidding, still am) brazen and a 'bull at a gate'. I wanted my hubby from the minute I layed eyes on him and I got him. Same went with my boyfriend, he was chatting to a lovely lady but I decided he was going to be mine for part of the night (we met at a swingers party) ... it was a sexy night indeed ;) I'm very obvious in my flirting or what I want, probably too forward for some ;) With me, I won't leave anyone guessing. Since starting swinging about 4 years ago, only one person hasn't responded positively to my flirting with them ... I've often gotten what I wanted. I'm very tactile so I'll gently caress and arm, rest my hand on their back, make eye contact, give compliments...and push comes to shove, touch a body part or straight say/ask let's fuck :) Mary xx
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RHP User
8 years ago
The art of body language. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm sorry to have to tell you this but God, you and I are so alike 😉
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RHP User
8 years ago
except for the happily married part 😂😂😂
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RHP User
8 years ago
ITM if God, you and Mary are that much alike, I might just go to church this Sunday lol.
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Mask_007
8 years ago
Mary is if obvious like you made asking/saying straight out "let's fuck. Depending on the situation/place/occasion, I would get it what are you saying, but I could miss as well just taking like you are joking with me. I have to confess that. I have a girl saying that she wants to.go out with me and then late at night when we come back she told me " I have no way to make hime tonight can sleep at your place, I sad yes no worries, start set up the sofa bed and she sad is ok sleep with me and I did not do anything. Miss the opportunity. You know that I am a bit naive to these subject. And the worst part I was dieing to fuck her... I am do stupid.😕😧 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
You just perfectly described the stage I am in, I have no idea how to flirt as it has been so long, but like the OP I never have a clue when someone is flirting with me either as I simply don't expect it!! OP, in the situation you described with your lady friend, in that scenario, maybe it would be worth simply coming out and saying how you feel? Just put it out there that you are attracted to her and see what she says? I know for me, subtlety is a lost cause, you really need to hit me with the proverbial sledgehammer or else I will most likely not pick up on it lol
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RHP User
8 years ago
You say,"If your not sure , you could always try putting 1 finger on her boob.. If she smacks you in the mouth , at least you know her signals didn't mean what you first thought.." I can only assume you're joking, but forgot the smiley emoticon. I don't think it's wise to promote sexual assault, which is what sexual touching without consent is.
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RHP User
8 years ago
this is the Mrs writing...i don't seem to have a problem one on one...i can read the signs quite well...but in a swinging situation ...with another couple...unless they spell it out for me, i can be as blind as a bat to the cues given...lolwe had a couple over one time...we really liked them...as it turned out they liked us too...but we chatted for over an hour about sweet nothings, not making a move at all, cause we weren't sure how they were feeling...and guess they were waiting for us to make a move, as it was our house...at the end the guy lost his patience with us i think...lol...and said " so are you going to show us that swing you have?"...we all laughed and it was on !!!we had an amazing time and became very good friends and playmates...but had he said nothing...we would have set there all night talking about global warming...while all we wanted to do is screw their brains out i am glad we are not the only ones who can be clueless :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Sharonski' You say,"If your not sure , you could always try putting 1 finger on her boob.. If she smacks you in the mouth , at least you know her signals didn't mean what you first thought.." I can only assume you're joking, but forgot the smiley emoticon. I don't think it's wise to promote sexual assault, which is what sexual touching without consent is. Yeah, Sharonski, I reckon he was. I didn't really need any emotithingies to pick up the sarcasm.
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
Just ask if you are not sure For eg. "Can I put my hand on your leg" "Is it ok if I kiss you" "Do you want to come back to my place" etc. Also tell her how you feel Eg. "I find you really attractive" "You are really sexy" " I really like the way you think" These are just examples. You can say more suggestive things if you like but depending on woman maybe safer to go in low key. Then no ambiguity. She will either give you signals +ve or -ve. Don't forget meeting someone is nerve wracking for many people. She may be feeling same as you but lots of woman (not all but)do wait for men to make that first move. Good luck, nothing ventured, nothing gained. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Nothing wrong with that at all :) xx I'm not starting a 'gender war' so please do not take this out of proportion. I have found that in the scene a lot of men are oblivious to the flirting directed at them. This inability to read clues is heightened if they've just come out of a long term relationship or are in a relationship and haven't flirted in a while. At one swingers party I said I'm not playing, I want to be seduced! I appreciate that flirting and seduction are different but they're not mutually exclusive. So I waited to be seduced .... no it didn't happen, not even some flirting sadly :( One guy tried, he rubbed my arm sensually (or his version of it) ... I did tell him if he kept that up it would become annoying. Hubby thought it was hilarious ... he said 'don't worry honey, I'll take you home and fuck you...' best pick up line of the night xx A&E ... even in the swinging lifestyle flirting is daunting ...I still remember the first ever swingers party we went to, I had no clue how to involve myself with the play, let alone hit on the hottie that hubby was interested in (yes I did his work for him). I opted for brazenly sexy and whispered 'can I help you suck his cock?' in her ear. Yes it worked ;) I'm with the posters above, read the persons body language and try to decipher their clues. Some like subtle, others are more forward. I can read subtle clues but I don't like them ... be direct, be forward, be crass lol 😂 At the very least your arrogance if delivered correctly, will turn me on :) Mary xx
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RHP User
8 years ago
it is the same OP, the difference is English is my second/learned lingo. The other thing is after 45+ years married you "forget" how to start anything with a woman. The 70+ years I lived not helping ether.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Im the same. Im hopeless at the subtlety of it all. I need the spade right in the forehead sometimes. Im getting better though and a lot of it is getting over the fear of the situation and the fear of looking like a dick or seeming ill mannered. Ive made a promise to myself to never go home wondering anymore. Can't say Ive always kept that promise. I saw you, Mrs AandE at the meet and greet you are a gorgeous woman and you looked confident there. I was to scared to say hello though. My loss.
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RHP User
8 years ago
You say,"Yeah, Sharonski, I reckon he was. I didn't really need any emotithingies to pick up the sarcasm" Right...So now tell me why its Ok to use sexual assault as an example sarcastically to explain something to a person who has problems reading social cues...
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RHP User
8 years ago
Sexual assault? It was obviously a joke. Lighten up 😏
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Sawadee
8 years ago
Tongue was planted firmly in my cheek when I posted that and I'm sure most took it the way it was meant.. No way would I ever promote sexual assault.. full stop.. So yes '. I was joking .. pity you read something more into it. Okeydoke45... Sarcasm ? OMG.. 🙄
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RHP User
8 years ago
I think - no, I know, because the topic has come up before - that a lot of men (me included) don't like the bull in a China shop approach of interpreting signals because of the assumption that women often get so much [possibly unwanted] attention that we don't want to be one more in a long line of sleazes. So we err on the side of caution. Or, if you couldn't make it through that mass of non-punctuation: we are too nice to go for the prize in case we were wrong and offend. Unless the signals are in ten metre high flashing neon we stay schtum. I don't think it is a lack of confidence so much as not having a certain amount of shamelessness about damning the torpedoes and going full steam ahead when the outcome isn't either clear or certain. That, and often us men are just plain bleeding oblivious at what is staring us in the face! - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
8 years ago
Hopefully you didn't take my post as serious as previously mentioned.. My apoliges if it came across that way .. I sometimes forget not all people see humour in same light. Jokes aside, after reading your last post , I got the feeling you're being so much the gentleman with your lady friend you're own feelings are being pushed to one side. As you said , you were dying to fuck her but her comfort came first. To be perfectly honest , you should never be afraid of rejection. That's the one fear that holds most guys back.. the feeling you might of got it wrong . Remember , it isn't always just about the girl, it's about both of you. I always found the eyes tell the story, trust your own judgement and don't be afraid say what's on your mind.. Who cares if you get it wrong.. Not every female will be a winner... that's the law of averages.. Jay...
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Mask_007
8 years ago
I'm starting to believe at the same, because just did happen yesterday once again. These waitress at a restaurant where I when for dinner last night. I am sitting by my self at the bistro in a table close to the bar and she keep coming to start conversation with me, touching my beck and arms and all smile, to the end she come to say good by give me a tight hug and a kiss almost on my lips and I just realise what was going on when I was at home. I don't know what is wrong...
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Mask_007
8 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' The art of body language. - Posted from rhpmobile how do I learn that? and from where/
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Mask_007
8 years ago
Quoting 'EarthQueen' Just ask if you are not sure For eg. "Can I put my hand on your leg" "Is it ok if I kiss you" "Do you want to come back to my place" etc. Also tell her how you feel Eg. "I find you really attractive" "You are really sexy" " I really like the way you think" These are just examples. You can say more suggestive things if you like but depending on woman maybe safer to go in low key. Then no ambiguity. She will either give you signals +ve or -ve. Don't forget meeting someone is nerve wracking for many people. She may be feeling same as you but lots of woman (not all but)do wait for men to make that first move. Good luck, nothing ventured, nothing gained. - Posted from rhpmobile I would not pick up those clues. and those always means that? Quoting 'EarthQueen' Just ask if you are not sure For eg. "Can I put my hand on your leg" "Is it ok if I kiss you" "Do you want to come back to my place" etc. Also tell her how you feel Eg. "I find you really attractive" "You are really sexy" " I really like the way you think" These are just examples. You can say more suggestive things if you like but depending on woman maybe safer to go in low key. Then no ambiguity. She will either give you signals +ve or -ve. Don't forget meeting someone is nerve wracking for many people. She may be feeling same as you but lots of woman (not all but)do wait for men to make that first move. Good luck, nothing ventured, nothing gained. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Don't ever touch a woman's breast unless you 100% sure she would like you to. I've been at swingers clubs where the older men can't help but lean over and squash my boobs with their hands. . Without even a hello? They are like babies with no self control. Really gross.
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
With someone who can help you with reading body language? Because that waitress sounded keen. It may help you pick up cues? It's hard to put into words how to do it, it's a time and place thing sometimes? A counsellor specialising in relationships could assist you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mask_007
8 years ago
I think a counsellor is a bit too much, don't you think. How can a counsellor can help me with something that is o individual and personal from everyone? I don't understand. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsJonesy
8 years ago
A relationship counsellor will definitely be able to help you. As would doing a course in body language, positive relationships, and effective communication.. Without wanting to sound harsh, it sounds like the only way you would have correctly interpreted the waitress' actions is if she sat on your lap and whispered "do you wanna fuck?". You are asking us, why not ask a counsellor who specialises in this? You are more likely to get expert advice.
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Mask_007
8 years ago
Thank you for your adv6. - Posted from rhpmobile
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
Would be able to break it down better than we could on here and go into more depth. Don't think of it as counselling as such more about helping you make connections - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
8 years ago
When MsJonesy first mentioned seeing a councillor I thought it was overkill .. But on reflection I can see the merit .. I'm no councillor , but I think your hurdle is more mental than anything . You know what you want but it don't come out the way you want it to. If there's someone out there that can help , why not. ? No shame in that and if it does the trick it's worth it.. Jay
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RHP User
8 years ago
Go back to that restaurant on the same day next week and hope the same waitress is working. Invite her for coffee or a drink after she finishes. If she agrees then you know that you have already recognized her signs and go from there. You have worked out that you don't recognize the signs until you have some time to recollect, so you are recognizing all the signs. So now that you know that, be up front and tell people that you are hopeless at it. You might be surprised when you do so that many might see this as sweet, that you are not at a bull at a gate, but a nice genuine guy. I'd even put it your profile here. Nice guys don't always finish last.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Mr Playful's advice. If you realise what's going on later, go back and check with the women later. It could have been just a flash infatuation plus alcohol, or it could be something you can follow up. Checking in by saying "hey, I may have got this wrong, but were you flirting with me last night? - because if you were, I liked it," gives the opportunity for her to say no or yes, with only a little awkwardness ... which can also be quite cute, and go somewhere. I also agree with this comment " a lot of it is getting over the fear of the situation and the fear of looking like a dick or seeming ill mannered." Fear of rejection is real, and big. The thing is though, if you don't ask (or offer) you will *always* miss out, whereas if you do ask/offer, you won't always. Doing so politely is part of learning 'the game' but it has to be learned by actually playing it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mask_007
8 years ago
Thank you for the advice. I just come back from the to restaurant and there she was, very gorgeous and all smile. She come closer to my table and said hi. Then come back once again then did not see her anymore. I.think she is not very happy with me. Do you think is because I never did anything? - Posted from rhpmobile
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