F52
Giving
January 13 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ralf, In general terms you are describing one of the dynamics of a D/s relationship. I am not suggesting in any way that you are submissive. In your terms the giver want nothing more than to pleasure some, see their reactions and know it was them that caused such a reaction. A giver will not enjoy watching their partner getting pleasure from some one else (Generally). As you acknowledge it is not selfless for you as you get something out of it. Almost all givers gain the same gratification that you do. A giver and a taker teaming up is great. as each have differing aspect that heighten pleasure for them. I taker likes the fact that they are the center of attention. They need only to exist to get pleasure. This is naturally at the extreme end of a taker. Most of us have balance between the two a little bit of give and take so to speak. LC
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nothing gives me more pleasure than leaving a guy totally satisfied and happy. It's why I have never deviated from one on one, my attention is fucused fully on my partner. So, yes, I am also a giver, thanks, Ralf, good post.
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RHP User
11 years ago
does not equal good sex to me. A giver and a giver on the other hand, mindblowing. I always wonder how sex goes with a taker and a taker. Would one always concede to be the giver even if they don't want to or would it just be awful sex or would it just not happen? I agree that there would always be one more dominant person than the other (even with 2 dominant personalities) but that does not always mean that person would be a taker. I can be dominant in bed and not be selfish.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' I can be dominant in bed and not be selfish. When you are Ralf, is that because you want to be (are you in taking mode) or is it because you know that will give your partner pleasure (you are giving). While I refereed to the D/s dynamic in my first post there were things I did not say. The reality is the a D/s is about two people with certain wants/needs/desires. Both the D and the s are givers and indeed takers. Each gives to each other something they desire. In a good D/s relationship (not slave/owners) the dominant is as much a giver as is the submissive. Just idle thoughts.
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RHP User
11 years ago
This is going to be the most one-sided discussion of all time. OR...... profile suicide.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is a lot of power in giving,no act of giving is entirely selfless..But mutuality,is better.xxFreya
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'LoveCurvie' A giver and a taker teaming up is great. as each have differing aspect that heighten pleasure for them. I taker likes the fact that they are the center of attention. They need only to exist to get pleasure. This is naturally at the extreme end of a taker. There are a few examples of a giver being the centre of attention. I being a giver, get immense pleasure by pleasuring a partner where the only pleasure i get is the crowd gathered watching. That gets my juices flowing even when my mouth and tonsils are threatening to go home without me...........
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Dryphuz
11 years ago
I've never heard the payoff of giving described so succinctly. Thats exactly how i feel. I GET from giving. 2 givers only creates one problem... Having to take turns giving .
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'LoveCurvie' Ralf, In general terms you are describing one of the dynamics of a D/s relationship. I am not suggesting in any way that you are submissive. In your terms the giver want nothing more than to pleasure some, see their reactions and know it was them that caused such a reaction. A giver will not enjoy watching their partner getting pleasure from some one else (Generally). As you acknowledge it is not selfless for you as you get something out of it. Almost all givers gain the same gratification that you do. A giver and a taker teaming up is great. as each have differing aspect that heighten pleasure for them. I taker likes the fact that they are the center of attention. They need only to exist to get pleasure. This is naturally at the extreme end of a taker. Most of us have balance between the two a little bit of give and take so to speak. LC I see you mention generally. Some experience we have on that perspective, is that Tara and myself are both givers and I think we only really take care to that giving. There is something with our relationship that we have built on giving each other. Personally I can enjoy watching Tara giving pleasure, getting pleasure comes of that, although I do not enjoy watching someone trying to take that pleasure without even giving a thought to what it is we are giving in return. We have had a taker join us and it was nowhere close near as enjoyable as when did the giver, that joined us. I think generally that plays a big part for all that. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
You described the way I feel so well the pleasure I get from my partner enjoying themselves has always eluded me in being able to express it properly. I certainly enjoy receiving pleasure from my partner the giving is just an added extra. - Posted from rhpmobile
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6exxy
11 years ago
I'm a Giver, attention time and affection. The negative to that is we give more in relationships which can leave us exposed sometimes. Saying that I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll have a giver please 😀 please 🎉
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Hottie1
11 years ago
I'm a giver, I didn't think I do it to get something in return. I thought I was a giver to give pleasure (not only in a sexual sense) but whether cooking someone a special meal, buying them a gift, doing their housework etc, now I'm thinking do I do it to model how I want to be treated in return. Is that being a taker of sorts? Ralf, you make me think too hard! I'm confused. Great topic none-the-less. Mary xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Great topic and as myself being a giver and to enjoy the act of giving am I a taker by seeing the face of the taker, hearing the moans of the taker, feeling satisfied with myself in satisfying another's wants. I think we are all givers in the right situation as we all have that little part of us that won't stop until a job is done and done well, but in saying that we all can be takers at sometime as well as we enjoy closeness,warmth and a little bit of a tight hug . - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
11 years ago
the giver the dominate one? Or is that just a rarity I have found? don't we all give and take? I give in many ways and I take enormous amounts of pleasure. I give by allowing my body to be used for his pleasure but I take as well as I receive pleasure from the same acts.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I will TAKE your touch, your taste, your pleasure, your orgasms and your enjoyment you have expressed, and use them solely in my personal life to boost my positivity and sense of well being, to help get me through the next week.
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
I'm a pleaser, it's what turns me on the most. To watch, listen and learn, it's definitely one of my things.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
We are in a public forum, where people come to share their thoughts. As a general rule takers are not drawn to places like this, they are not generally inclined to "share"- or give, noit even their opinions.. That doesn't mean that they don't have them. Anyway, back to the topic of sexual giving. In some languages the very description of having sex between man and woman contains the word "give" - from the female prospective, implying that she is the giver. Let's face it - nothing happens until the woman "gives in" to the demands of the male, which is the usual scenario... Personally, I'm happy to play both roles - mostly I try to synchronise our play so that my partner achieves as much pleasure as possible. See a woman orgasm is a great turnon for me. Other times I know she wants to see me come and she also finds it exciting and fulfilling - so I do my best to come the way she likes me to, and I give her control if she wants it - usually by being on top... If a sensible woman has no desire to try for an orgasm (it does happen if she is already tired and had a good go) she would be happy to see her partner come and just use her body for his pleasure - but then, everyone is different and I'm starting to get off topic :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with MissB that "giving" is not a submissive act and that part of LC's initial submission is wrong. This pointed is corrected in his second submission. I concur with the view that there is giving by both the Dom(me) and the sub, albeit the not of the same nature or value. Hence asymmetrical sex. I also submit that LC is incorrect in claiming that a giver will not take pleasure in seeing their partner being pleasured by someone else. Empirical evidence of the dynamics in threesomes and cuck play goes against this assertion. The primary partner derives a personal pleasure from the "giving" of the person to a secondary partner. The issue of asymmetrical sex is that there is not an exchange of like for like. In symmetrical sex, the two (or more) parties are engaged in an activity to achieve the same reward, typical the physical satiation. In asymmetrical sex, the two (or more) parties are pursuing different rewards. In the OP's example, one party is achieving an emotional reward whilst the other is achieving the conventional physical reward. Each achieves their goal but the two sensations cannot be equated because they are different in how they play on the mind/body. In a D/s scenario, a Dom(me) may derive pleasure from making the sub orgasm repeatedly to enjoy watching the reaction on the subject, or from making the sub do acts which bring the Dom(me) to climax but not the sub so that the sub feels a sense of pleasing their controller. Taking it outside the physical reward of sexual intercourse, a Dom(me) may derive pleasure from inflicting pain to the limit of the sub's endurance, whilst the sub enjoys the benefit of endorphin rushes which can push the person into subspace (if done properly). Each involves different methods of giving and taking, different goals, and different sensations. Therefore ultimately, it is not a question of one giving and another taking but rather a subjective view of what each is offering compared to what they each wish to achieve. The problem arises where there is a dissonance between what one party is offering and the other wishes to achieve, that is one party is prepared to help the other reach their goal but the second person refuses/fails to help the first.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ag4mg92' I'm a giver, I didn't think I do it to get something in return. I thought I was a giver to give pleasure (not only in a sexual sense) but whether cooking someone a special meal, buying them a gift, doing their housework etc, now I'm thinking do I do it to model how I want to be treated in return. Is that being a taker of sorts? Ralf, you make me think too hard! I'm confused. Great topic none-the-less. Mary xx It extends outside of sex, I too get a kick out of seeing people enjoy my food, knowing they love my gift, fuck their housework though! lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think the best sex or relationships happen when both parties involved are open to being both givers and takers. Or both are open to being dominant or submissive. Or accepting our duality in many other qualities
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RHP User
11 years ago
Because he takes so much pleasure in seeing me in orgasmic bliss, I take what he gives so as to not deny him the pleasure of watching me cum. That would make me a giver also, doesn't it? 😇 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
my post was referring to casual sex partners not relationship partners, I would assume most relationships are give and take, that is generally how they work. Nor am I really referring to a D/s relationship as that is it's own power exchange. I am simply referring to your every day run of the mill encounters on here and why some people give so much and others don't care as much. In light of the who gives a fuck thread, why do I give so many fucks?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I take my wit and give it out freely..... 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
They want to pleasure, so I dont mind at all. Ive tried to give but I give the most mind blowing head jobs that its all over in minutes. Same as when I ride like the storm.... Sooooo I just take. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I actually agree, I mean who really is going to come in here and announce "I am a taker, I never give" In saying that, I'm a giver and a taker, I think it's only natural for all of us to be both. I think the only time this wouldn't apply to someone is if they are a complete narcissist, as people like that can't see past themselves to give, though in their eyes they are givers too.
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gazpacho
11 years ago
I like to make people cum. HugsGazpacho
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RHP User
11 years ago
But in non sexual things I hate accepting help, help to move house, decorate or whatever, I hate accepting help. I would much rather the process be difficult and take twice as long so I can maintain my independence and not feel obligated to return the favour.Having said that, when asked by others I'm only too happy to help. Seems I just resent being obliged to. Sexually I'm definitely a giver, it boosts my ego to please. But my partner is a big giver on many levels, so.....in order to please I must take, but I cannot take it all I need my time to give, to balance the books and recharge the giver, every body is happy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'tulips4u' Because he takes so much pleasure in seeing me in orgasmic bliss, I take what he gives so as to not deny him the pleasure of watching me cum. That would make me a giver also, doesn't it? 😇 - Posted from rhpmobile I agree with you about the taker part but not the giver... To be a giver i think you need to get up and become just as active...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nothing better then giving oral to a sexy lady to the point she is pushing my head away. Nothing beats multi orgasms mind you I'd love to see if mutual oral only can be achieved without full sex.
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RHP User
11 years ago
And if you freely give half of it away,what then? 😘XxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
If you watched us play. We have a leaning towards s&m, even when we are not playing hard. Someone watching us would likely think I'm taking (or worse). She gives me her body and mind and I take it and push it the nth. I give to get. My reward is reaction, the state I push her into and her 'happiness' is what I want. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
There was more to my post than asking takers to come out of the closet, my primary question was what do givers get out of giving and if takers want to admit it, as some lovely people have, then that is good too.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ironic, I know but I have been asked by a few guys to come and go down on me and them just leave because they love to do that but I am quite uncomfortable with that because I like to give back. I would feel like I owed them something and I miss my payout in that scenario. Again, I am not talking about a long term thing where one partner might do the pleasing one night and later down the track the other will return the favour... casual partners that want to do that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Whether in a sexual situation or everyday life I try to give my fullest and expect nothing in return.As a result I give to myself because I get personal satisfaction,not just sexual,from doing so. ralf74 I totally agree and feel a sense of being robbed if I am given something and couldn't return the gesture. So why do we do what we do....well a leopard can't change it's spots and if there were no takers then us givers would be a sad and sorry bunch....here's to the givers and the takers long may we compliment each other.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think as important as the giving and the taking is the act of asking (or as Amanda would say, the 'art' of asking). Because the asking completely changes the context around the giving and the taking doesn't it?
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RHP User
11 years ago
There is the art of accepting,understanding how much pleasure the giver gets from giving.Allowing someone to give is in itself a gift xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' I think as important as the giving and the taking is the act of asking (or as Amanda would say, the 'art' of asking). Because the asking completely changes the context around the giving and the taking doesn't it? As I don't like to cross any boundaries, I tend to ask a lot. For example, at a swinger's night, asking before touching (even though a basic touch is often seen as a form of asking, it just doesn't feel right to me). Asking if you're going down, if you can use your fingers (inside). Asking if you can kiss them (on the lips). I think it shows that you have respect for them.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'countrytouch82' Quoting 'Jean_Girard' I think as important as the giving and the taking is the act of asking (or as Amanda would say, the 'art' of asking). Because the asking completely changes the context around the giving and the taking doesn't it? As I don't like to cross any boundaries, I tend to ask a lot. For example, at a swinger's night, asking before touching (even though a basic touch is often seen as a form of asking, it just doesn't feel right to me). Asking if you're going down, if you can use your fingers (inside). Asking if you can kiss them (on the lips). I think it shows that you have respect for them. Asking to give as opposed to asking to take.... different twist on it again....
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