RHP

RHP User

F53

Grief

April 21 2014

Every breath is like swallowing glass. Every heavy step is too, too much. Isolated by searing pain in crowds full of people. How to move on? - Posted from rhpmobile

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ((((((((((HUG))))))))))

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    all grieve in our own way. I personally like to be alone with my thoughts, I like to process them without having other people tell me how sad they are for me, I am usually odd though compared to other people. I seem to have trouble relying on other people in any situation. Others prefer to be surrounded by other people with love and support and build a network to get through it. I hope you are ok with whatever you are going through :( xo

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Reach out lilmissfussy....

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    12 years ago

    and more.... (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Are you talking about you? If so, I give you a big hug. Can you tell us any more?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    don't have the background on what the issue is. but u need to talk to someone and just let them know how u are feeling and to vent, cry. whatever u need to do to help make u feel better. surround yourself with your close friends and family and they will make things better

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    About me, yes. Reflecting on an enduring grief that seems impossible to overcome. And preparing for a new period of grief that I'll have to face soon. But also about others, acknowledging grief they might have felt and how very tough that can be. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    For the hugs x - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    my mother died I thought before it happened,that I was prepared.... We were not close but the way she was treated by other family members was so appalling it angered me greatly....she just wanted to die at home,in her own bed....instead she died completely alone.....most of my anger was for me,that I was not more insistent... Grief can take hold of us in many different ways,some unexpected.... My daughter and I often see something or hear something that reminds us of her....and we share a little moment of memory.....We always knew when she loathed one of our gifts...She would say"'That's nice for s change"...:-) .....Hugs to you lilmiss ,remember loved ones fondly and don't be too sad,they will always live in your heart xxQ

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Before my Dad passed away, he wanted the same thing...he wanted to die in his house. He got really sick with cancer...I had to carry him to the toilet and shower. The man I looked up to, feared, respected, hated, loved was now in my arms.... The arms of a 16 year old boy. Man I'm crying here.....he never expressed any verbal kindness...he never said nice things so when he told me he loved me, I couldn't say it back. He died and I didn't tell him I loved him....I had this anger and guilt for years until I had this dream...I dreamt we were sitting at the table and he looked fit. I said everything I wanted to say, we hugged and from then on I felt so much better. So lilmissfussy, I can tell you now, whatever it is you are going through now and into the future, you're not alone...you're never alone. You will always have someone or something looking out for you. I'm a spiritual type of person so I'm more open to that sort of stuff than others. Are you spiritual lilmissfussy?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My sincerest condolences. Things will improve, I promise. Just take your time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    thoughts are with you....my heart too.I can tell you only how it was for me......you never forget.I still hear him fall as his feet slipped away, I still see him shake....I dreamed a lot.....I hurt a lot....I was scared at the beginning I will not make it alone with two boys.It gets better after time but you never forget. You learn about your strength....you maybe even see yourself for the first time.Love is what remains....love for a wonderful man, love for a wonderful life together as short as it was, how lucky I was to have experienced all this with him.Happiness he has made with me, two great wonderful sons....men of today.Love for lifeLove for others.....even as much as grief hurts....it teaches us what is important.It teaches us to see, to listen and to be.To take each second as a precious giftTo show love, to not take bullshit and little piddly shit any more from people.To open our arms and embrace each and everyone who crosses our lives path......to give and show love freely without expectations.

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    12 years ago

    Sharing the burden helps.....when you're ready. Loss in whatever form it comes is often hard to bear....would you believe I made myself a recluse due to loss? Was put on suicide watch and a few jagged little pills. I think I'm learning to deal with loss better as a result of that moment in time. As for my parents Q.....that's going to be a loss that I will never be prepared for.....I love my Mummy and Daddy very very much but if they depart with dignity and grace in a manner of their choosing than I shall be thankful for that. "Grieving is a necessary passage and a difficult transition to finally letting go of sorrow - it is not a permanent rest stop. ~Dodinsky" man when he does not grieve does not truly exist. ~ ❤️ Indy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'leoman' Before my Dad passed away, he wanted the same thing...he wanted to die in his house. He got really sick with cancer...I had to carry him to the toilet and shower. The man I looked up to, feared, respected, hated, loved was now in my arms.... The arms of a 16 year old boy. Man I'm crying here.....he never expressed any verbal kindness...he never said nice things so when he told me he loved me, I couldn't say it back. He died and I didn't tell him I loved him....I had this anger and guilt for years until I had this dream...I dreamt we were sitting at the table and he looked fit. I said everything I wanted to say, we hugged and from then on I felt so much better. So lilmissfussy, I can tell you now, whatever it is you are going through now and into the future, you're not alone...you're never alone. You will always have someone or something looking out for you. I'm a spiritual type of person so I'm more open to that sort of stuff than others. Are you spiritual lilmissfussy? Lovely post. And to lilmiss_fussy - many hugs and positive thoughts to you.

  • sweetgem

    sweetgem

    12 years ago

    Since my father passed away, I am still grieving over the fact that I can no longer see him, and am still unable to attend funerals or hear any news about someone is dying or has passed away! To me, there's no pain in this world that is greater than the pain of losing your own parent! However, I am adopting the mediation method by telling myself that my father would not want to see me grieving over his death forever. Nowadays, at least I won't be crying so much anymore when I see his urn. Perhaps try doing mediation Lilmiss, and be surrounded with only the positive people:energy until you know you can let go of whatever that is holding you back. All the best OP.......hugs xo - Posted from rhpmobile

  • MissBishere

    MissBishere

    12 years ago

    I still have a big ball of it inside...think it will be there for quite some time..can't really even read this thread or the tears start....lol...going now....😕...hope everyone is ok and get through their grief in their own ways.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Thank you for kind words :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I am a Wild Woman I know, inspite of myself and in spite of what I’ve been told that there’s beauty in every age no matter how old I am a Wild Woman I’ve learned what it means to be a life bearer to bear children to create art to plant seeds of Love I am a Wild Woman from the depths of the dirt underneath my fingernails to the height of my very Soul I am one with the Earth the winds from the four directions whisper through my skin I am a Wild Woman and the Spirit of every Wild Woman coalesces in me for we are each Wild Women and we are all the Spirit of the Wild Woman I will follow the oVice in my Heart I am a Wild Woman I sing from my Heart I Dance with the Stars I howl at the Moon I Love uncontrollably I am a Wild Woman from the deepest, darkest, most Sacred part of me I am fearless I cry in Strength I open my arms to the sky and welcome the rain I am a Wild Woman I Nurture, Love and Protect I stand, strongly, silently, sweetly for my brothers I walk dutifully, prayerfully, joyfully upon the mother and I will not be stopped I am a Wild Woman.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    To you ralf... I too tend to head off on my own, process my thoughts and then subject others to my thoughts and feelings... (Hugs to freya, wherever she is...? and foxy ;) Sure thing though... The sun will rise tomorrow morning... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Just this very moment, I have found out that the person who I consider to be my second mom (though I do not believe in heaven, would like to think is joining my mom in heaven) is in her last breath. I grieve for the time I have not spent with them I grieve for the grandkids they will never see, I grieve that I will never see them again. l grieve that life is about dying and it sucks hard.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    in huge amounts to you xxx I hope you have some off screen support as you move through this time xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I sit here right now crying for a torn and broken heart, lost to the ether of passion and love no longer mine.Will it ever heal? not really, the pain will dull and should I reflect back on this time the scar on my soul will ache but the memory will remain. This is the burden of having a heart and giving it freely.Twice this year I have given it and twice it has been damaged but I will move on for the hope of a better tomorrow though today hurts beyond measure. Anticipation of grief is almost as bad. My father has been dying for some months, just recently his doctors said there was nothing more they could do for him so they took all his medication off him and gave him Endone for the pain... every time the phone rings and shows my mums number my heart stops for a second. Some things in life can be replaced and some things will be gone and lost forever. I miss my brother. SG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Thanks for your kind words and for sharing your experiences. I'm grateful for the openness and the compassion x

  • cbdlivin

    cbdlivin

    12 years ago

    As a person who has lost two wives, I know a little about grief. How deep it goes depends on your feelings for the person. When I lost my second wife suddenly it was a devastating loss that left me in a state that the word grief does not quite encapsulate the feelings I was going through. It was through the support of a few friends and family that I got through the worst stages of this, but you will always miss the people you have loved but the grieving process you can get through. As well as some good support and possibly grief counselling, finding the things that help you in yourself. In the end it can be the support from people who really step up that can be a big help. For me personally I have a small group of people who were there when I needed them and it is a debt that can never be repaid, but for my birthday this year I am buying each of them a present instead just to let them know what they did for me. B

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Maybe now I'll be able to get the words out. When I was 22 my husband died in a car accident. It was horrific but it was also a long time ago. I have the most beautiful son from this marriage who has bought me nothing but love, pride and happiness. Often when I look at him I grieve about the fact that his dad never got to see him grow up and see him as he is now as I know how proud he would be of this beautiful young man. 15 Years later his daughter from a previous marriage committed suicide at the age of 30, leaving behind the most gorgeous twin girls. I often grieve that she didn't feel that she could reach out and ask for help when she needed it the most. Life is unfair, and yes it is a bitch, but the oldest platitude in the book does ring true. Time DOES heal. It does take a long time and you do still cry at a sudden unexpected memory, a birthday or anniversary but the pain does become bearable, and eventually you start to live again. This I know from experience. The biggest hug to every one who needs one . Kxxxxx