M45 F45
Harder than what we thought...
September 25 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's normal for us too... we have had a similar experience with couples but we have the same trouble at swingers clubs. We find it somewhat easier to find single males and females. I don't know if this is the norm on this site though, just that has been our experience.
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RHP User
14 years ago
People, you have no idea how hard it is to meet people on adult dating sites. I just don't know the reason why. For some reason be it your profile, RHP name or appearance, if people don't like you, they don't like you and that's all there is about it. I have now given up on trying to meet anyone privately and I am just going to attend some private house parties and meet people that way. However keep trying, your luck may change. Good luck in your search.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Maybe it's because you're out of town... maybe it is just difficult. I recommend that you attend organised events. Certainly there is nothing at all "wrong" about your profile pic. :pHUgsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
It depends on your situation and what your looking for. Perhaps one numbers disadvantages could be not living in or close to a capital city. Don't always expect others to contact you . Try sending some messages out yourself. Try having a picture of both of you on your profile. If your a couple its only fare. The other lady is going to want to know what your man looks like. Having your profile verified by RHP can help. Perhaps try listing a few date-finder dates your available for.It can be a harder task finding a couple as there are 4 people who all have to agree. Trying to find other balanced couples that you both find attractive can be hard. We have found at times singles can be easier. I wouldn't be to worried. As long as your getting some contact from others and sending a few messages yourself things should be fine. We do agree there are lot of time wasters to weed through but you soon learn how to spot them.T&J
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks for tips guys!! We will pay for membership here soon but a bit hesitant cause of the money we have wasted on other dating sites we were just checking this one out first.. And this is the second message that ive gotten about my pici being a fake lol, so I will take that as a compliment Thankyou ;-) (this nude shoot was done about 4 months ago so ive got a lot more just like it) I will deffinately change our profile picture lol so people dont think there fake!!!! And when ever any one sends us a message i open our PG which has a photo (including face) of the both of us along with my msn and email address (maybe thats were im going wrong showing our faces first up lol, oh were not that bad lol). But totally understand sexual attraction is a big thing and i have turned away some people myself because im just not attracted to either one or the other.. Maybe im just being impatient :-) Taking tips on board.....Thanks people
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RHP User
14 years ago
We spoke to a couple that had been in this scene for 15 yrs.......its always been hard work to meet people. Lots of wannabies around.......they said not to take it personally and move on.We have met lots of fantasic people here and had a lot of fun, but we have been messed around a lot also. We have been so pissed off at times we have considered giving up but the good ones make it worth while.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Meeting genuine people in the real world is not easy Meeting genuine people on the internet a hell of a lot harder,where anyone can be anything they want to be...Paying for Membership will Promote your profile when a search is undertaken...Platinum Members at the TopPremium Plus next on the listPremium Membersthen Guest accountsGood Luck and Happy Hunting
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RHP User
14 years ago
Get a few pics of both of you, Most couples like to see what they are up for before they will comit to meet. Be specific in your profie as to what you are looking for, and more importantly what you are not, and if all else fails drop us a line whe you are up this way..
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RHP User
14 years ago
a lot of time wasters on here... all talk they get you going, even arrange a time, then nothing comes from it. I chase couples and in general they are much less likely to waste your time than single females.
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rupamohan
14 years ago
We feel it was very easy for us to find members...also the cpl we met exactly knew what to expect so we ended up playing with most cpl we met. Your pic looks gr8 in fact some may think too pro to be true..verification or validation will always help.. If your location is bit out of metro..you can add how you want to handle distance. Rupa(f) One of the reason why it can be diffcult is when what you can offer and what you want doesn't match or u r trying to find out something that doesn't exsist. The key is to know where you stand. We know a cpl where girl is very choosy nd they want to find new cpl every week..that will be bit hard.
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RHP User
14 years ago
What maverick said.. 80% time wasters/pic collectors/old guys pretending to be girls /made up profiles We have met a lot of hot people...but also wasted plenty of time on the above mentioned. As suggested, have current face and body pics of BOTH of you. We normally line up a meet for coffee/wine with 4 or 5 couples/singles...and sometimes 1 or 2 turn up. after 6 months on here, we learnt how to Critique profiles .like you would a used car Have fun :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
We have attended group meetings with some theme attached like a swingers bikers group or Masquerade weekend away group Dinner, Disco, or Swingers club, games and events planned as part of the entertainment and have arranged to meet another couple we allready knew at those type of events. Then we know someone and just play with them. Otherwise we would not attend. We have found group meetings at RSL clubs, pubs / cafés/ swingers clubs with no common interest or not knowing anyone else dull. If a couple was not willing to put the effort in to meet us couple to couple independently we would decline as it signals a low probability / incompatibility, for what we are looking for. We are happy with the amount of contacts we make via internet swingers sites, it does happen and like others have said here you will learn how to read between the lines to find what suits you!
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jigjam
14 years ago
If your ever up our way, hubby and I will be happy to break you in, other wise we have SPECIAL friends down your way so message me. Hot pik!!!!!!
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athletic_couple
14 years ago
We've had great success, all the couples and singles in our friends list are people we have met and would catch up with again. Let's not forget, it's been cold, no one feels like going out or playing up when it's chilly.
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RHP User
14 years ago
We know what you mean. We've only met one couple here and we have been looking for 18 months - an initial dinner with a bit of perving afterwards and then a very fun night at their place. They were a really great really sexy couple and we have tried several times to meet others like them, to no avail.Perhaps threads like this are a good way of finding couples that are actually interested in meeting - We would have messaged you all but you all seem to be out of NSW. Sigh.Our experience is that the initial message exchange seem to go well and then by the time you've swapped PG's (we rate ourselves as attractive so we don't think that is counting against us) and a nebolous intent to meet it seems to fade away in either of two ways:1) They are keen to try DP, despite our profile saying that she is not into anal and this is a deal breaker for them. Fair enough if we can't help them explore their fantasy and we wish them all the best in their search.2) As soon as we go beyond making a tentative date - actually try to arrange a time and place they simply stop responding to the RHP emails.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey Funtoosee, Had a look at your profile we are surprised DP has came up with couples, I would have thought DP is more suited to MFM 3 some not couples playing! Like what is the other girl going do.....have a nice cup of tea!? What we find normally comes up is, Girls must play it is a big part of what we are looking for. Standby for their excuses: "A straight swap is boring" "There is more fun if the girls are Bi" "Not really interested in the other male" After a while you will reconise from reading between the lines those that are compatable and be more selective who you approach.
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RHP User
14 years ago
My approximation would be 6 months within which you've emailed chatted and met at least once maybe twice before something workable is established. All the time listening for all the great advice mentioned above in this post. The rules of engagement can become all too complex and render the whole thing futile. Clear outlines of the fun to be had are necessary with each and all having at least two scenarios of their own to be included in the play so there's not a participant who's lacking playful intentions. Someone who likes to lead is important in initial stages or the doing part may well turn into nothing more than talking and a lovely evening and a somewhat confused parting. If jealousy or excessive awkwardness rears it's ugly head, it ain't gonna happen. The parameters are many but keep it simple and with with the right amount of fun and directive, it's going to be awesome.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Or atleast I hope so!We're hitting 6 or 7 months now without too much luck. Maybe we're just picky? I don't think so...I think a lot of it is just pure luck as well. Being online at the right time when your potential playmates are also online :)We're not worried though, but we've taken a bit more of an active approach to things. i.e. going to parties and chatting a bit more in the forums and going on webchat :)GL!Katexoxo
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RHP User
14 years ago
is certainly the key....as well as perserverence......for those of us who are 'coupled' already, the search is a little nore complicated.........there are 2 people to please....on each side......so its 4 sets of preferences and criteria that comes into play. much much more complicated than for example, a single guy who isnt choosy, or a woman who is easily pleased............
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RHP User
14 years ago
We've found the challenge with this lifestyle is that we don't have a handbook. The societal norms vary so much.Betty and I are new to this - we are green and have no shame in admitting it - and we are still trying to establish what the wider 'rules' prior to discussing the dynamics with the 4 people involved.What is the protocol for making contact. Is dinner and drinks the go? Is coffee a better option? Where do you meet? When do you meet?Despite the challenges we've had a great time at a couple of events, met some great people and are looking forward to seeing where this leads over the comings months and years...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi guys,We've tried many options over the past year and like yourself, didn't know what the social protocols were.We've settled on coffees or a quick drink at a bar, being a better process for getting the meet and greet part out of the way.When we did try dinners, we were trapped into a situation of small talk over 2+ hours, it's quite a big commitment when it's really just to meet someone face to face for the first time, who to be honest you don't know whether they are going to be to your liking or not anyway. After organising babysitting, dressing up and heading out to a nice restaurant, to find yourself eating a meal for 2 hours with someone you don't click with, you're left feeling like you would have been better off saving the night out for yourself or company that you already know that you like. So dinners would work with people that you already know, but for a meet and greet, we try to keep it simple and low-key. You can always organise something special later if you all get on well.T&J
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks T & J - nice to know that other people are working through the same issues
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RHP User
14 years ago
gee what a contradiction by the postee, we flirted & winked and got no reply lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quote Nice2bnaughtylol gee what a contradiction by the postee, we flirted & winked and got no reply lol While I think its a little rude not to at least reply with a no thanks when some one takes the time to sends you a message. One of you was out of there are range by 4 years. So this could be why? Must admit we to are guilty of sending a message if we are a few years each side of what they are asking for. But some people are very black and white about the age range and might not be interested in some one 14 years older.I don't think its hard to find other couples in fact its easy. Finding exactly what your looking for isn't always easy.Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
re: poster 2 posts above.. thats a bit bitchy and personal for a message board isnt it? i know we def wouldnt contact you when you post up moans like that... you are outside of someones specified criteria then moan about them in public for not getting back to you.. not exactly classy stuff. Age brackets posted are usually set to the absolute limit already.. i know ours is. maybe you should either try reading them or atleast taking it in your stride instead of posting discouraging comments about people you dont know....
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RHP User
14 years ago
To the poster two posts above this one.. are you serious? thats a bit bitchy to be posting on a public message board directly aimed at someone else isnt it? maybe you should try reading the profile instead of getting upset over people who dont get back to you because you dont fit thier search criteria in the first place, instead of publicly moaning. I know we wouldnt bother with people who act with such little class as you have done just now. Way to be discouraging and rude.
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RHP User
14 years ago
apologies for the double post, when i try to post here i get an error message for some reason... i assumed it did not go through.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Timandjane, Yeah unfortunately the quote reply function does not work for us either and only leads to a server error page. I realise how to use quote functions but this forum seems to disagree with our server as the same occurs on our laptops, iphones, ipad, etc. Just to clarify: the above posts were not directed at you Regards.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hmm try posting again! And yep we dont generally reply if out of age bracket and it can take me ages to get back to people... I dont mind random winks and even a one off message wanting to see our PG thats not the problem.. Its the endless messages and msn picture swapping without action lol..........I dont mind taking a little longer getting to know people if thats what they are comfortable with, but surely after a couple of chats they have made up there mind to at least meet us in the flesh, its when it comes down to the meet time and its a goer that people vanish lol.... And no im not pushy.. chat a couple of times meet up for coffee and a final yay or nay then play......
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RHP User
14 years ago
I do tend to agree it is not easy... There are a lot of variables and it truly depends on your own thoughts, if you sole interest is getting into bed with another couple and you dont care who or what they are then its dam easy, there are countless couples that will fit this category. If however you have some standards then its hard, you often find with couples that he is ok she is not, or vice versa, or you find some people are simply to hardcore or not hardcore enough, or their appearance is fine but they personality is not, it is hard to find the perfect balance. Guess the moral of the story is, if you do go into it with high standards its very hard indeed. For that reason we decided early in the peace nbot to judge people on appearance and get to know them, very often the mental connection can be more appealing than looks.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi guys,We have been a part of the site since May, and after a couple a weeks finding our feet, we have been away so to speak.okbius is right. Anyone can take a good pic, jag a great photo. But it is what is under their skin that counts. For us, we really arn't all that interested in seeing anyones pics, chatting on MSN or sending endless texts. Its only when you hear someones voice, feel the inflection in what they say, understand the emotion behind their thoughts that you can make an informed decision about the other parties potential.After all, the profiles that we all so lovingly build, are formed by pointing and clicking at a few predefined responses, you need to speak to people to truly understand them. We have met plenty of people, some of our best playdates infact, have come from meeting people who initially there was little interest from their pics. But the time we spent talking to them face to face painted a much better picture...Its all about chemistry..........and you don't get that from a pic, and you certainly dont get it from a profile.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I agree with the above 2 posts. You can tick the boxes of what you're ideally looking for on a profile but you can't know if they are what you are really looking for until you meet, or at least chat on the phone. We've only been on this site for about a month and we've met 2 great couples already by not judging until we meet. I think if you come into this with pre-determined expectations you will be disappointed. Just go with the flow, trust your instincts when meeting a couple, and you'll have a blast! I know we are . Fingers crossed for lucky number 3!
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RHP User
14 years ago
hey guys, hang in there.... can definately say these profile pics r not fake!!!!! (nothing wrong with the real deal) time wasters r a big thing on these sites, just listen to peoples stories, watch the freaks lol other than joining a site like this it is not something that you can advertise, hey the right people will come along and im sure you two will show them a good time, its not about luck!!! you guys dont need it great easy going genuine couple with all you want in a great night, get in contact with them xxoo
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RHP User
14 years ago
gee maybe some peeps need to chill and remember this is for fun, too many take this as gospel and carry on and on. everyone is entitled to an opinion which is what makes the world a great place and if/when you find likeminded cpls etc well let the fun ands exy times begin. But sheesh its so often seems too many take life to seriously and carry on and on
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RHP User
14 years ago
maybe people shouldnt take this so serious, its all about having fun. everyone is entitled to an opinion either way, tahts what makes life it is today. but it seems some which we wont lower to name as they have done so already themselves seem to want to tell YOU how it is and if you dont think same look out. gee peeps chill a bit and enjoy life and its fun and sexy adventures not try and treat it as gospel
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RHP User
14 years ago
If you are reading above post. Then you would see that there is issues with double posts. Put two and two together. If there are lots of double even tripple posts. Even though there is a error message It will actually post anyhow. Makes me of homer Simpson keep totching the hot oven glass and going D'OH! every time. Wake up the next day and do it all again.Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
love it time douh douh again over and out
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RHP User
14 years ago
Oh, and Couplebnr... Certainly let us know if you ever find yourself in SA! ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
i agree people are full of it on here or think they are to good
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RHP User
14 years ago
Critiquing which profiles match with you is paramount. You get better over time. Validated profiles are important as it provides confidence of authenticity. I find keeping the conversation within the RHP message service then transitioning to phonecalls/text messages which are a lot more "Real" and provide a small step in the right direction. Trying to transition to another chat service such as MSN just provides another stumbling block unless you get get cam to work (but theres always an excuse). Meetings should be sooner rather than later as attention spans are short especially when you need to capture and hold 4 people as even one person losing interest generally ends it. Even if it's just a meet and greet. I find unless otherwise strictly stipulated in their profile, people generally like to be able to communicate in a non-sexual manner as well.We try to see it as looking for new friends and if extra fun is had then that's even better.
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RHP User
14 years ago
We have been here for a couple of years and we generally don't send messages to others any more unless we are particularly struck by a profile. We don't even agree to meet new couples anymore other than at an event such as a party or club, that way if they don't show we can still have a great time. Once we have met and established a rapport we then communicate and meet elsewhere but unless they agree to meet on our terms we don't meet - it's our way of at least not being dinked around by time wasters. We agree that at clubs it can be daunting and lonely but if you are genuine and present yourselves well (meaning not like yobbos and are clean) you should be accepted - remember most are wary of newbies and it can take time to get their trust - some others are in cliquey groups - be patient. The better looking and better presented you are the better your chances. We found CC at Surry Hills very friendly and had a great time first up. We also regularly attend house parties in Brisbane or the Gold Coast if for nothing more than socialising with like minded people and yeah it can still take time to get people to open up but it will happen. Love the house parties and again, well presented (including spoken) is more successful than appearing like a yobbo. Your profile to us seems quite fine, by all means PM us if ever up this way and we will try to make you feel at home.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've been on this site for nearly a year now without much success. A lot of women exchange messages and then drop off the planet. If I said things offensive it would make sense, but I am extremely polite and respectful. My Private photo is my face shot but it seems single women don't even want to be freinds to see that. My advice to other single men is only to make contact to those ladies who are paid up members. At least you know they are serious about being here. The same goes for other dating sites too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I would recommend hitting the chat roomsi have connected with more lovely people through there then blind sending emails. Give it a go..
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rupamohan
14 years ago
Go online and you will find this asked commonly...and the reasons are common too 1) What you are looking for is not there 2) You are not what they are looking for.. 3) You are trying to get a better deal then others..these deals are at equal terms.. 4) You are simply not making enough effort 5) There are simply NOT enough jobs...WE HAVE VERY ACCURATE IDEA OF HOW MANY REAL JOBS ARE IN MARKET. This number can never be allowed to be discussed in forums bcos it goes against the interested of forum provider.... We do respect forums providers interest. Do your home work once you have some idea about this number you may be shocked for a moment but then will understand why it is so difficult.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi, we only had a few meets over a long period with mixed results and I put it down to this. Because there are so many variations of what people's expectations can be , it can get down to what it is that suits you / us / them / her / him ... etc etc...Often we paint a very nice picture in our mind of what sort of couple we would like to meet and even though we have very honorable intentions it can slowly desolve before your eyes if your and their messages dont do anything to excite you, or you suspect the couple is really a guy trying to slip under the radar, then you become weary. For the record' Mrs JJ is above average and attractive straight female. Pretty girl , shapey, great smile, with a great personality, and at the risk of sounding conceited, I can still attract my share of attention.. BUT' we still find it very hard to meet a similar couple looking for a uncomplicated get together. ?BTW, love your pic..... so feminine ' Being a long time admirer of the female form, this is well up there with the best.Good luck with your search... Becoming a paid up member would definitely help. Drop us line when you do...lol...
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RHP User
14 years ago
rupamohan - nailed it on the head, up to the point that I'm surprised it has got published :-) Well done, and BTW let's be Friendsperhaps ?
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