M56
Heart is aching !
October 20 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
KudosMen just dont do they......they dont tell.....they dont let you know....I for one have felt so many times that men just dont feel.Dont get their hearts broken.So I hope you told her. I am glad you told us. What a brady bunch.....but its after all that heart break that PEOPLE get so frightened that they dont want to go there again.Imagine not letting yourself have all those wonderful experiences just so you can be protected from any negative ones or pain.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't worry mate , a large amount of people here are emotionally scarred , myself included . It makes us Wary . To be sensitive to matters of the heart proves that you have a Heart . It's not a bad thing ... GG♒️- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not sure what your after here bud. I mean a friend will tell you what you want to hear, a mate on the other hand will tell you what you need to hear
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RHP User
12 years ago
xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Big hugs to you Warning. I have enormous respect for a man who can talk about his feelings. xxxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks for sharing Warning. *HUGS*Don't ya just dislike those memory days.Mine is Boxing Day. :(Between you and I, I think everyone is looking for love, has had a lost love and has had a broken heart one time or other.FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Big hugs Warning.Real men can and should show their emotions and should never fear to do so.It is good see you reaching out for support as that is the best way to heal, know that some of us here feel for you."Time heals all wounds" so they say and I hope so for all our sakes. You have the 19th October, Foxy her Boxing Day and I have my 6th December.With regards to people saying that can't trust men (or you), all I can say is be yourself and eventually someone will see you for who you are and you will teach them to trust.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Looks like it's gonna take a little more time to heal on this one..Read a book called "I can mend your broken heart" cannot remember author(s) but it may be just the thing?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't agree that men don't feel, I think that us men just don't express what it is that we feel. Some can, some can't. Just recently my daughter was taken to hospital after suffering another febrile convulsion at age 5. Her second one in her life. At the time I was in Sydney which is about 700kms away from her. 9 hours before I could get home gives you a lot of time to think, and over think things. For me, there was an objective. Get home, and be the rock as I know her mother would've been beside herself with panic, fear, and a myriad of other emotions. Which I did. The emotional side of things I just chose to deal with later, as how I was feeling - to me - was to take a back seat, as what kind of support system would I be to my other 2 daughters and their mother if I was a blubbering emotional mess?? Things turned out ok, she was released after a day in hospital, and now we have a referral to the children's hospital to investigate things further. I find it very frustrating though, like the OP when it's assumed that men haven't been hurt in the past. I think it's a traditional gender role thing, where the men wear the white knight suit, and women are seen as the damsel in distress. Which I think is unfair for both sexes. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey Warning69. Your post is so honest, and reconciling past hurts is a difficult and painful fact of life. Not all break ups occur mutually, and one party is left wondering what went wrong. Pearl Jam's song "Black" comes to mind. It is healthy to give all your feelings air to breathe, and to feel your pain, and allowing some time to lament is part of healing from lost love and heartache. Part of healing is also balancing the good with the bad, remembering that it wasnt all pain and heartache, and reconciling those feelings as you would checks and balances, and taking something away from those experiences. To make it a learning experience is to come out the other end having gained something from it. Right now I am sitting under a willow on the side of a river watching birds flit through the branches and water dragons sunning themselves on the river bank. Its times like these that allow me to recharge and let the world do as it will. i recommend it. Warm regards to you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Who thinks that? That men haven't been hurt? That they have to be knights? I think sometimes you are projecting your own ideas of what a man should be, it's not what other people expect of you. As I just said on another thread.... Women are much strong (in general) than you think... Possibly stronger than men a lot of the time. Or is that men see a crying woman and automatically think she isn't coping? Nothing wrong with tears, there is nothing wrong with being scared... These things do not make you weak.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Women have a support system, and when their partner isn't around they would get the same support from a close girlfriend. For some reason men don't do this... But unfortunately this doesn't make them strong, this doesn't make them knights... It just means they suffer in silence when they don't need too.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Women have a support system, and when their partner isn't around they would get the same support from a close girlfriend. For some reason men don't do this... But unfortunately this doesn't make them strong, this doesn't make them knights... It just means they suffer in silence when they don't need too. Oh so true.On the few occasions I tried to reach out to my "Man friends" they scattered like cockroaches when the fridge light comes on. Doesn't mean they suck, just means they don't know how to handle a man asking for help.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry to sound patronising Meeks but did you miss the last bit?? "Which I think is unfair on both sexes." - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I you have misunderstood me... I don't think you have to be like that at all.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry I should say I disagree with you, I don't believe it has to be that way at all and I for one don't expect a man to be like that at all.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It stems from my upbringing. Dad is the kind of guy that when shit hits the proverbial fan, he stood fast and weathered the storm. Other than that I have no idea really. Perhaps I'm just a weirdo??? Lol which let's face it.....the world needs weirdos :)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thank u for ur kind post guys :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
sometimes never mend fully,but it is these experiences that you live through that change you as a person. How that change manifests is entirely up to you.Life is also about choices,you can choose to never let any one else in,or you can be open to findng love again....I hope you find whatever it is that you seek Warning.And of course men feel,men hurt,but some just shut down emotionally because the thought of going through that kind of pain again is just too much to contemplate..women do this too. x R
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RHP User
12 years ago
Amen to that!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thank u for ur words :) Sadly for me I now know I'm over trusting in the sense I give way to easy n end up with a bitter taste in my mouth... But one thing I've stood proud of all my life is the fact I refuse to turn my love for anyone into hate (most find that easer) I loved her then n guess I always will but it still hurts now n then hey...
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N4November
12 years ago
I loved your honesty, thank you for sharing. All experiences good or bad give us knowledge and if you can learn from them to be a better lover/partner/friend - in my experience does lesson the pain. You've learned, you've lived. Being a genuine open person is a wonderful place to start over :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Women have a support system, and when their partner isn't around they would get the same support from a close girlfriend. For some reason men don't do this... But unfortunately this doesn't make them strong, this doesn't make them knights... It just means they suffer in silence when they don't need too. Well said. I find that everyone asks me how I am and my standard asnwer seems to be "Im ok". I dont even talk to my mother about a bad breakup, I keep it bottled in and wait for the pain to go away. I know I dont need to, and I'm not affraid to cry in front of someone I know, its more that I dont want somone seeing how hurt and misrable I really am.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I too respect your exposure of your vulnerability Warning. It can be hard to do. I am really glad there are men like you who are willing to challenge stereotypes and have their own expressions of masculinity. And I do understand that some days the pain is not manageable as it is on other days and it is fantastic you used the forums to externalise that pain and seek help. Geek on Wheels, sometimes people can sense you are not ok and ask how you are as a way of opening the door for you. They don't want to come right out and say "hey I don't think you are ok so tell me what is happening for you." Give yourself some respite from your pain man, please!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Speaking from experience I have found that some men find it hard to communicate how they are feeling. We women can express ourselves through a range of emotions, actions and words. A true friend whether it be male or female knows you inside out she can see immediately how you are feeling or even the way you answer a phone call when she calls. Lol I have one friend in particular who (not on this site) who just KNOWS when all is not right just. Some men, when you ask them "are you ok, whats wrong do you want to talk" shrug their shoulders and reply Ï'm ok. Clearly they are not, a woman's intuition is not always right but pretty much on target. So guys don't be afraid to express yourselves, gently and lol use your words, actions to show your emotions. I would still have a husband if he communicated instead of bottling it up and having no one to talk to. Having said that I'm happy with where I am in my life and am better off, emotionally. I have some special friends both from this site and off, I value their friendship and the fact that they listen.So I suppose my point is: OPEN UP AND EXPRESS how you feel, it might hurt like crazy but eventually, slowly you will feel better because you have shared.
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