RHP

RHP User

M51 F48

Hitting the Spots

September 22 2013

OK, firstly, don't want to hear from guys looking to advertise themselves, I want mostly ladies opinions.We have been doing this for a while now and except for a few very notable exceptions I have had trouble finding a guy who can hit the right spots.To compound this, with a lot of couples the guys are gentle and slightly hesitant. I find this frustrating because I really like the take control type of guy who knows what they are doing. In the couples situation I watch my partner, who definitely knows what he is doing and takes control. He has the girls squirming and grabbing on to things, burying their face in a pillow, meanwhile nothing on my end. All I can think in this situation is I want to be with my partner which is totally not fair to the couple (hence why we are no longer seeking couples).For the ladies, what have your experiences been like? Are you having the same issues? Is a guy that REALLY knows what he is doing that hard to find?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    A little trial and error is the key. Finding the right spots and touching them the right way can be a challenge, but a fun one. For some women the clitoris is to be touched with the lightest of touches, soft and feathery but for others the stimulation must be very direct and forceful. For some women cowgirl is a perfect position, for others, reverse cowgirl hits those spots better, for still others, doggy.Finding out is at least half the fun.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Er.. maybe you just lack the chemistry that goes with your partner?   Not talking myself up here, but I've had both extremes where I've (literally) changed a few women's life and opened up sexual connection/freedom she didn't know existed.. and also where (despite much effort and reasonable technique) it just is not gonna happen.   The difference was simply a genuine connection between or not at all.   In the past I made the mistake of following through with physical activity when the largest organ (brain) is not engaged by the other person. I hate to disappoint (yes I am serious) so felt compelled and tried to engage but it takes two to tango - otherwise it's a lot of treading on toes..   Now I don't go there, as awkward as it is sometimes, unless the brain/personality connection is really flowing 100%, regardless of how hawt they look, or kinky they sound etc.   Tricky and means less opportunities, as it is much harder to find real chemistry, but worth it.   Maybe look past the knight with shining abs and refocus on that intangible brain/eyes/smile/laughter/sizzle connection?

  • Paradisepair

    Paradisepair

    12 years ago

    We find imbalances vary with the dynamics of the night. It's disappointing that not every couples encounter can feature equally distributed mindblowing pleasure but when it happens it makes kissing the frogs worthwhile. Sometimes he's had more fun, sometimes she's had more fun, sometimes one couple has more fun than the other but as long as everyone's enjoying the ride it's all part of the journey. If sexual crystal balls existed it would be easier to find your prince-for-the-night, man Imwould buy one of those things in a flash.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    He does his thing with no regard to your participation, just performs with the woman and ignores your fulfillment at your end..Don't blame the man you're doing (distracted and all) watching your partner show off. Individual pursuit is an inoperative way of behaving as a group dynamic. Little communication and getting ones rocks off at the opportunity..Apologies but makes me nauseous.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Then that is what you should be looking for and a question you can ask him or her. What is your style in bed? Or at least tell them that this is what you want in your encounter. Speak up, because a man can't read your mind! ;-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' Then that is what you should be looking for and a question you can ask him or her. What is your style in bed? Or at least tell them that this is what you want in your encounter. Speak up, because a man can't read your mind! ;-) And we have started asking. It is important to make sure all of us are having a good time. Has this worked for you? Has it lead to better encounters?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Oops, my above post was more talking about the chemistry, when meeting prior to the night of pleasure. Are you meeting beforehand, or leaving it to the night of fun? Not much chance to back out if hotel room booked etc, so probably ignoring your instincts (or lack of) when meeting the other half?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Of course. You need to be clear about what you want, before meeting and during sex! I am curious though... Sounds like you do a full swap and there are just two couples playing separately. Don't you all play as a group... Together? When I am in that situation I take the control back and say what I want..... Or just go jump on the other couple for some fun. I also agree with Tickled_Kink, your husband would know you are not having the best time. Doesn't he do anything to make it better for you?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    When I am in a group as a couple, my partner is constantly watching me and we are playing of each other the whole time. All I would need to do is give him a glance and he would come rescue me or he would suggest something else to ensure we are all having fun, but then again he is very experienced with the group scene and understands me and what I like.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'tickled_kink' He does his thing with no regard to your participation, just performs with the woman and ignores your fulfillment at your end..Don't blame the man you're doing (distracted and all) watching your partner show off. Individual pursuit is an inoperative way of behaving as a group dynamic. Little communication and getting ones rocks off at the opportunity..Apologies but makes me nauseous. That is a very judgemental comment without knowing the facts. My partner is one of the most considerate men I have ever met and he does do all he can to involve me. In our world no one should be left out including the guy who isn't doing it for me. I have joined in with him and the girl and he encourages it, we have even just swapped back to being with each other. I just think it is now unfair to the guy and creates an imbalance and a negative vibe, again hence why we are now only doing 3somes.Wow! u really got my blood boiling with that comment!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Is a failure to communicate !Perhaps you need to communicate your needs more clearly ? And be a bit more prudent in who you meet ?Your profile mentions none of the qualities you mention above. You also say you are not interested in Skype, that is one of the best QA tools you have.Just sayin'

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    To lick my elbow, but I keep missing the spot.....HELP!!!- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hi OP...Im just a tad... unsure.....n one hand you say you "don't want to hear from guys looking to advertise themselves"then.... you go on to advertise your own guy with .... "I watch my partner, who definitely knows what he is doing and takes control. He has the girls squirming and grabbing on to things, burying their face in a pillow"If you're seeking that same experience..... with someone other than your partner, we must presume...... then shouldnt you be open to the guys and their 'offers'.... ridiculous or not?!DG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I was trying to illustrate my frustration. I should have left it out. Still don't want to hear from guys advertising their sexual prowess though. That was not the point of the post. I honestly think I am going to stop posting. It has just been a source of venting and not very useful. Signing off.....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'fun_flirtycouple' I was trying to illustrate my frustration. I should have left it out. Still don't want to hear from guys advertising their sexual prowess though. That was not the point of the post. I honestly think I am going to stop posting. It has just been a source of venting and not very useful. Signing off..... You could see it all as a valuable exercise in discovery ? ... sounds like you have found a confident man who knows how and is capable of loving you well. Perhaps you underestimated how lucky you are and can now revel in the knowledge ?To be fair the pressure can be very intimidating .. your play partner does not have the confidence of knowing you like being treated with a firm hand but does probably understand that unappreciated firmness is not a good look. Not all women like the firm treatment.My only suggestion would be to get you're partner to have a quiet word with the other guy beforehand letting him know what you like and expect while simultaneously allaying any fears that he may get upset by it ?Look forward to your next post.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'IndefatigableMe'Look forward to your next post. Ditto!!!