M44

How do you approach safe sex with playmates?

May 09 2026

I recently had a play with a new partner and things got hot and heavy quickly before we'd managed to have my usual discussion about birth control, STI testing and safe sex (unsexy I know but important). In the heat of the moment, she grabbed me and went to guide me inside her, until I said hang on I'll just grab a condom. In the heat of the moment the temptation might be there to just throw caution to the wind but I grew up in the days of the grim reaper bowling ads warning of AIDS which scarred me for life. I've since spoken to a female friend about what they do when playing with partners besides her husband and she shares a similar philosophy as me, wrap it up no matter what. So my question is how do you approach safe sex in the scene and do you use condoms, rely on all parties sharing recent and regular STI tests or throw caution to the wind and go raw? Especially in situations where guys are playing with multiple partners as swapping between them necessitates a change in condom.

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mssexybitch2u

26 days ago

Have that discussion before it goes to the bedroom. Then both of you know where you stand on the topic.

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PandaAndBri

26 days ago

We have a few rules in place for us as a couple: no hosting at home, the wedding rings stay on And - most important, safe sex for all penetrative sex. And we are also going to do regular testing too. It is important. There are still huge amounts of STIs around and sometimes they take a while for symptoms to appear so it would be silly not to protect yourself and your partners. We are only new to this but the first party we played at, safe sex for everyone was mandatory so that solved that problem very quickly (shout out to TSS parties). With our other play dates it has so far been discussed. I think that is one thing that shout be discussed maybe even before the kissing starts maybe?

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Flirty2020

26 days ago

If we are going to be having sex with others ( as in a MFMF , MFM, FMF) it will always be safe sex for all activities. This will be discussed, and the ground rules clearly established, prior to any “play” so that everyone is on the same page and in agreeance. With regards STI tests etc, one is only as safe -“clean” as the last person that one had sex (unprotected )with. One could have sex 10 mins after having a STI test done and become infected. We therefore follow the “Precautionary Principle “ and that is to assume that anyone that we have sex with, is potentially carrying a STD / STI . Until proven to be clear / clean.

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MsSuperFoxy

26 days ago

Wait what? She went to guide you? As a grown woman, she should know better. Now if a man did this there would be a roaring outbreak. She's no different. I'm curious, please clarify, why wasn't this discussed prior entering the bedroom? No glove, no love! Ms Foxy

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Thesunlovingsub

26 days ago

Whenever I hate on condoms (which we all do right?) I imagine what it would be like having to tell every person I want to fuck for the rest of my life “I have herpes”. No spontaneous raw sex is ever going to be good enough to run that gauntlet for me. If I was going to go raw it’d only be with ongoing partners and very clear agreements on disclosure and testing. PS - you don’t owe anyone an explanation on the incident you described, nor should you or your sexy friend be subjected to judgemental nonsense when you’re coming here with an open mind and a very fair question ❤️

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Chelsea83

26 days ago

I always discuss safe sex preferences at length prior to any date, then if the heat of the moment occurs there shouldn't be any need to rehash covered talk and protection is promptly sourced and the play begins!

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RHP User

25 days ago

Just have the chat and it tells you two things: 1.) If they can hold that conversation then they take their health seriously. Big tick. 2.) There’s no guessing or awkward chats in the moment. You play as agreed and it flows as it should. They’re easy conversations to bring up as long as you’re honest about how you play and how you manage your health and other partners health. If it doesn’t click move on and find someone who is compatible.

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Fuckyousweetness

24 days ago

Kind of like scene in crocodile Dundee with the water buffalo

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Restlessgirl46

24 days ago

Every time I meet with someone I confirm they are ok with safe sex…prior to play i confirm they are bringing condoms …I also bring my own…after learning the hard way that the majority of guys do not take safe sex as seriously as me. 9/10 guys…despite me being incredibly upfront with my preferences will ask me to fuck raw. It gets tiresome

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Bbgrl

3 days ago

You need to be tested after every single person irrespective of how many times you change condoms. Safe sex should be discussed before you meet. Both people should be bringing their recent test results. Simple.

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Jerimiah62

6 hours ago

I have generally asked this question prior to meeting especially on dating sites and then it doesn’t get awkward when it’s hot and heavy and you can also be a bit more prepared

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How do you approach safe sex with playmates?

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