F57
How do you handle a over the top FWB that wants all your mans spare time ??
August 16 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
If you've tried everything else , the only thing left is to ignore the Bunny Boiler . It works with pets and kids too . Don't give them attention because attention is what they seek . Just like a weed , it'll grow if you nurture it ... Most Bunny Boilers run out of steam eventually . GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
My question is If she is making up these new profiles to get his attention, is she ? Because if she is, then he is part of the problem as well, and some men thrive on drama and like the attentions of two ladies But I do not know, you do not say What can you do ? Ignore . When you do not ignore , you give her the attention she is craving. This may take the longest time but persevere and just ignore ignore ignore. I hope this situation resolves itself nicely for you
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RHP User
11 years ago
I happens. But stop engaging with her. After a while if you do not feed the seagulls they wander off
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'inthekiss'I happens. But stop engaging with her. After a while if you do not feed the seagulls they wander off Good advice x
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
There's no reasoning with someone who's unreasonable. Ignoring is a good start but if she doesn't take dead air as an answer he's going to have to be cruel to be kind. Maybe he wasn't clear enough with the break-up, it doesn't matter what you've said, for any of it to sink in it has to come from him.
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RHP User
11 years ago
About it became that she started to feel that way.... It doesn't just happen out of the blue..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
he has told her that is it , don't contact me in any way ,,, but she just doesn't get it .........he treated her the way she wanted like a dirty slut .......and she is married doing it behind her hubby back but now she has left hubby since being fwb with my partner .....mmmm yes we are ignoring her have even blocked her on here an in our phones .....hopefully she gets the message thankyou all for your advise xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Misty for me... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
there are about a thousand guys here willing to help 'share the burden' if you send her their way
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RHP User
11 years ago
why cant fwb just enjoy the sex and leave it at that ??at the end of the day its just sex and nothing else
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree I have suffered the bunny boiler ignoring is definitely the best approach.Worked for me. Speaking of stalking Velvet Noir i sent you 1 flirt for some reason it's showing as 19 lol. Not quite sure how that is possible I think I am only able to 3 per day must be the stalker glitch sorry hun x
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RHP User
11 years ago
FWB....? Obviously some feelings got involved Try understanding that she has developed feelings for 'your'?!? Man It happens also You're all playing in dangerous territory Rather than treating her like an idiot... Perhaps a little communication and sorting out is needed rather than .... Well I detect a cleArly nasty intolerant vibe .... Eek
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RHP User
11 years ago
Understand how it feels. Good advice above - chat with RHP and continue to totally chop her. I had similar experience twice in past two years. Its quite bizarre to us normal thinking individuals. Ignore her and up the pressure on her if necessary. Good luck SD
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RHP User
11 years ago
Wow that is a stunning profile :) SD x
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm so sorry you are both having to endure this kind of psychotic behavior. Reasons like these are why I never meet at my own home, at least i know if a guy does this he at least doesn't know where my home is and i can just ignore it and hope it goes away. Scary stuff. I Hope it resolves itself very soon x
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RHP User
11 years ago
"He treated her the way she wanted, l ike a dirty slut..." Revenge maybe? KARMA is a bitch...⁉ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I never know feelings to just happen out of blue. Maybe actions or encouragement taken wrong way? If she making dummy profile she must say it's her for you to know? Sometimes we treat people in a way that it comes back to bite, sex is not always just sex for everyone, your hubby not see signs of this earlier. Sorry, just an opinion, but I'm fairly new to this and I hope it works out for you - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '1976bundycouple' why cant fwb just enjoy the sex and leave it at that ??at the end of the day its just sex and nothing else How cold and impersonal. Not something I associated with FWB.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry, this would be scary and a worry... Some people can get a bit "too emotionally involved" with someone that they even know from the outset is simply an FWB situation, so the "It's only sex and nothing else" comment applies to some, but to other's it has to be more than that (as FWB's). I've heard the comment a hundred times here, that many need to have a 'connection' or 'emotional attachment' or something deeper than that expression implies. Obviously she can't draw the line and there's more to her 'idea' of FWB than there should be... Did he see it coming? (as previously asked) I think the advice to get RHP Moderators involved, is the best thing to do, seeing as the 'direct approach' seems not to have worked. Good Luck.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not everyone can be a fwb. Treat her kindly but firmly but be quite clear. Disrespecting and being nasty won't help. And be careful and respectful of fb feelings in the future. Learn from this. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
With respect, I think I have to disagree. Not because I think she doesn't deserve the respect that everyone should get. I'm the first to put myself in someone's place... Hence my comments about there generally being a need for some people to have a 'connection' or 'emotional attachment' or something deeper. But if this woman is doing what the couple say (to the point of appearing under assumed identities to try and reconnect with him), I think she's past the point of responding to 'understanding' and 'common sense' and isn't likely to be shut down by the couple involved. If she's going to these lengths and not 'respecting' the very important and simple rule that "No means "No" (which also applies to men), then I think she's the one who needs to be 'careful and respectful'. She is, in effect, 'terrorizing' these people which can be very disquieting, if not downright frightening. I'm sure the RHP Mods have dealt with similar behavior and know how to handle it (they have IP details and the info to contact her) and explain things in a 'empathic' way, whereas trying to deal with someone displaying this behavior needs to be dealt with as kindly as possible, but by someone in authority and with experience. That's what I personally, would prefer see happen, if I was involved.Cheers
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MeAgain7' I'm sure the RHP Mods have dealt with similar behavior and know how to handle it (they have IP details and the info to contact her) and explain things in a 'empathic' way, whereas trying to deal with someone displaying this behavior needs to be dealt with as kindly as possible, but by someone in authority and with experience. That's what I personally, would prefer see happen, if I was involved. Even if RHP would step in and contact someone directly in this way, they would - I certainly hope - need to find some strong evidence to back up what the OP is claiming before taking that sort of action. Basically they would need to do the opposite of what most people on this thread are doing (that is, demonising an unknown woman and accusing her of being a 'bunny boiler' based solely on one person's story). If I have learned anything in my nearly two years here on the RHP forums, it's that we rarely get the full story when someone posts a topic like this. Let's face it, even the OP may not know exactly what transpired between her partner and this woman; her partner may have withheld details or not told her the whole truth (yes, people lie, shocking I know ).
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Yes, yes always two sides to every story and in some cases more that two, after all you did say that you play together and alone, who really knows what's been said....💋 I'm not saying that she isn't a bunny boiler, or you're not telling the truth, but there can be more going on that you're not aware of. There have been some terrible posts lately, targeting one member in particular. Now if I didn't know the member personally and the story, then it would be easy to assume the nasty things said about them where true, but in fact they're not..... Yes there are a lot of strange people out there, but not everything is always as it seems......💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
that somebody got too emotionally involved but I can see how that can happen and I don't think it has necessarily been encouraged by the husband, but maybe respect and consideration has been read otherwise especially if this other woman was emotionally fragile at the time. I am not taking sides on the issue of who is at fault because shit happens but I think ignoring her is the best option, she will come to realise that her attention is not wanted and that she is not getting any either and she will stop trying.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It is a bit crappy that everyone is bagging this woman out based on some outdated bunny boiler stereotype. I have also been here long enough to know that there are often reasons why people post something and sometimes it isn't the whole story. For all I know shywildgal is the bunny boiler herself!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I haven't taken anyone's word for anything. That's whyu my post is complete with the 'necessary IF's... As in, "IF this women is doing what you have said..." and "IF she's going to these lengths...". The IF qualifies any opinion as neutral... That is, I don't know what's really happening, but IF.... and so on. There are always THREE stories... His, Hers and the TRUTH... (which generally lies somewhere in between).
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playwithus742
11 years ago
The concerning thing is that this woman started out doing this behind her husband's back, and you've said that she has subsequently left her husband since becoming involved with both of you. That in itself indicates that there was a problem in her relationship, and it sounds like she has developed a crush on your husband, which I (as Mrs), would find very uncomfortable. I imagine that's what you're feeling. I don't think it makes her a bad/evil/bunny boiler, I think it just sounds like she is sad and probably lonely, and this has most likely been going on for some time. I often wonder how I'd handle it, should someone we play with develop a crush on my husband, I don't really know how I would to be honest. I hope it sorts itself out, with minimal carnage, good luck!
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's nice to have a fwb but for me it needs to be an occasional not regular meeting. Someone wanting all my spare time would make me run a mile. Which I guess is what you and your hubby are doing. So if she won't respect your decision to end the arrangement my advice would be silence. Don't respond to anything. It will stop eventually.......hopefully :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
LuckDragon... You made mention that the RHP Mods would need to know the story. This goes without saying and I would imagine that they would make the necessary enquiries, such as checking Forum posts etc, to ascertain this. Then, again "IF" what was being claimed was, in fact, the case and causing the consternation that it most certainly would, IMO. Does anyone know if the Mods 'spring into action' and see to any problem they perceive, when there is a 'report'? There are "Report Abuse" links all over the sight that can't be missed. So, when such a report is made, do they get back to the 'complainant' in short order, or is it something that may be attended to 'when someone is available to take it on'? Just a curiosity on my part.
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RHP User
11 years ago
thankyou all for your advise and words , I have read every one of your comments , and yes we have met up and sat down and discussed the situation as adults ....We have resolved the situation and yes she said she was lonely and was in need of some loving attention , we have introduced her to some single males and she now has a real fwb that gives her the attention that she is craving and needs , But as for us we have helped her move on and we all agreed no contact and we have wished her all the best
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